Please send feedback and I hope you enjoy! Stay safe, and never forget to take care of yourself! Love you!

Five months into the curse

Regina was getting better at taking care of herself. I forced her to, but I told her that Henry would've taken care of herself, so she caved. I didn't mention that I wanted her to take care of herself too.

She wouldn't have believed me if I said that I was completely infatuated with everything she did. It felt like a trip to the past, when I'd sneak into Regina's bedchambers to watch her from the cracked open door of her closet. It was hard to get Regina off my mind, it it was a welcome intrusion, unless we were in court. More than once, I've had to ask someone to reiterate a question. It was sometimes worth it when Regina brought a hand up to cover her snickering.

I liked to think I was discreet with my feelings, but Regina said she could tell whenever I thought about her. I really hoped it wasn't true; if she could, I don't doubt that everyone else has caught on.

The kingdom was slowly drifting back to normal, if you could call it that. People have returned to their villages to get back to the lives they lived before the curse, minus the flying monkeys and Regina's half-sister, and I didn't blame them. I'd rather immerse myself in never-ending duties than let the thoughts of Emma linger for too long. I understand why Regina piled so much research onto her schedule.

I avoided thinking about Emma too much, but it was hard to do so. She would just appear behind my eyes without warning.

I could clearly see the sunlight from behind the translucent curtains, but I couldn't find any will to get out of bed. In a half an hour, David's going to come in saying we have some sort of council meeting or court case today, but I would tell him I was sick. He would know what that means, I rarely ever get sick. He'd understand, and hopefully leave me alone to sob into my pillow, begging for either Emma, or for this to end.

I felt bad for forcing Regina to stop her research when she just wanted Henry back, because I know how it feels now.

"Your Majesty, breakfast is ready," someone called from outside. I chuckled to myself, then grumbled loud enough for whoever it was to hear me. "Are you okay," they called back.

"Yes," I clarified. I heard small footsteps retreat from outside the door and I dropped my head back to my pillow, hugging the blankets to my chest, letting the blankets soak up my tears. Eventually, I let the sheets soak up my optimism along with it. I shivered slightly and hugged the blankets closer.

My eyes had barely drifted closed when someone burst through my doors unannounced. I didn't open my eyes to see who it was, I just pressed them tighter.

"David, I don't need a lecture on how this isn't healthy. I will deem what's healthy and what isn't," I mumbled into the blankets.

"I'm not here to tell you if it's healthy or not. I'm here to ask if you want some company," someone else answered. I knew that silky, low voice anywhere.

"Regina." The bed shifted as she sat down at the foot of my bed.

"Do you? Need my company?"

"Mm, no. Not now."

"Can you tell me when you do?"

"Mm." She stroked my hair.

"Do you want me to get you breakfast?"

"No," I whined. She removed her hand from my head.

"Okay then. Fetch me whenever you need my company."

"Mm." The bed shifted again and the door closed silently. I heard muffled voices in the hall; Regina's and a man's. David, probably. I couldn't care right now. I wanted Emma. Or someone to end this. I don't think I've ever wished for death, except for when Regina rejected me when I was still living in the castle, and now. Emma or death.

I had Regina, but she wasn't enough. Neither was I enough for Regina. I forced myself to stop think about such atrocious thoughts such as death, and I focused on Emma. I wanted to know how she was doing, how Henry was doing, what they were doing right now, everything.

Maybe I do want Regina's company now. I could wait, I'm sure she has something else more important to attend to right now.

Instead, I hugged the sheets tighter against me, imagining Emma, or Regina. I convinced myself that the sheets smelled like Emma; leather, coffee, and cinnamon.

This wasn't like me. I never wallow. And now wasn't the time to start. I forced myself upright, but fell back down. I didn't want to get up. Maybe I could let it slip once. Nobody would blame me, my child was taken from me again. I felt conflicted, but not for long.

I sank my into the bed, pulling the covers over my head. I can't get any work done when I'm miserable, so I might as well succumb to the laziness and stay in bed.

Surprisingly, nobody dared to knock on my door, and I assumed I had Regina to thank for that. That was until Regina came in once more with a plate of crackers and a glass of water.

"Regina, I don't-"

"Stop. I let you be miserable for the entire day, so now I'm taking care of you."

"It wasn't even the entire day. It's barely three o'clock."

"No. It's seven. Your clock is broken, remember?"

"Oh."

"You are going to eat, and I'm going to hold you, and I don't want you to complain."

"But-"

"No. Just listen to me." I sighed and sat up, taking the tray of crackers into my lap and gulping down the water. I didn't realize how hungry and thirsty I was until I actually saw food.

"You took care of me when I was moping about Henry, and I owed you. I still do. You're Snow White. You deserved this day to cry in bed thinking about Emma, but it's time to get over it."

"Regina!"

"It's true. In all the years I've known you, you've never moped like this. Not even after your father's death or funeral. You cried, but not this hard, for this long. You took your day to wish for your daughter, now it's time to buck up and get back your excessive optimism" I rolled my eyes, but nearly chuckled. I finished my crackers and laid back down to the bed. I felt Regina's arms wind around me from behind, and it was what I needed all day. Maybe I couldn't have Emma, but Regina was close enough.

After a while, I felt her arms go limp around me, and I knew she fell asleep. I smiled and closed my eyes. Instead of imagining Emma being happy without David and me, I imagined Regina's sleeping. She looked years younger when she sleeped, all anger washed away until she was the same sixteen year-old who saved me from that horse.

I woke up with the feeling of Regina's arms still around me, but moving slightly. I turned around and found her face smiling at me lazily. She was in the same clothes as yesterday, but she didn't have any makeup on. I told her she looked without makeup, but she just tried convincing me I was wrong while hurrying over to her vanity to quickly put some on. I always told her she was wrong, and stand by that.

"Morning," she whispered, pecking me on the lips. "Feel better?"

"Much. Thank you." I kissed her for longer, before climbing off the bed. Regina followed and handed me another tray with breakfast. I grinned at her, and she did the same.

"I got you breakfast," she said slyly.

"Thank you, Your Majesty. Looks delicious." She slightly blushed after 'Your Majesty,' but I just smirked and climbed back into bed. "Want some?"

"I already had some, dear." I nodded and ate. "So, David left with some knights to get rid of an ogre problem somewhere," Regina said coyly, smirking. I grinned back.

"So now we have some alone time," I said. She chuckled and rested her head on my shoulder as I sat back down. She stole a little piece of bacon off my plate, but I didn't mind, as long as I could watch her smirk and put the piece of bacon between her teeth sultrily. She could've put a rubber boot between her teeth, and it would still look sexy.

I forced myself to get dressed and do something today, but there wasn't anything to do, so I followed Regina into her vault to watch her do some research.

My eyes scanned the room, and caught sight of Regina's shelf of hearts. I ran my fingers over the boxes, watching some box windows light up with red, and others not.

Regina turned around and caught sight of what I was looking at and rushed over, pulling my hand to get me to leave.

"No. I wanna look." Regina bit her lip and tugged further at my hand, but I pulled away from her. "You aren't her anymore. I can feel it." She sighed and nodded, watching me analyze the boxes.

"That was yours," Regina pointed, right in the centre of them all. "I had it because I was confident that I would catch you and keep your heart."

"That didn't happen, though."

"It didn't, and I'm thanking my luck for that."

"Don't thank luck. Thank me and my stealth." Regina rolled her eyes and snickered. I turned back to her and wrapped my arms around her neck. "Thank you for not killing me," I said, before kissing her with ferocity."

"Thank you for not dying," she said back, before connecting our lips once more.