AN: this is a prequel to this fic. i was sent a request with the prompt below on tumblr (thank you anon!) and thought it would work with this fic, given roy's history (explained in chapter 5)

hope you enjoy!

"I didn't mean the things I said"

"Hey, Hawkeye. You okay?" Roy squinted at her and it made her eye twitch.

"Fine." Her answer was curt, but she didn't think any of the guys would notice in their drunken stupor.

Rebecca Catalina did though, and she narrowed her eyes at Roy in response as Havoc slung his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders, laughing loudly at Roy's joke and drawing his attention away from her.

"Be right back," Riza muttered quietly.

Not that anyone would probably notice or bother her leaving. And, it was a lie. She had no intention of coming back to the table. She just wanted to go home and sleep. The alcohol in her system had her buzzed, but she wasn't drunk like the rest of them. Sighing to herself, she subtly grabbed her purse from the back of her chair.

She loved her friends. She adored them and they were like a family to her. However, going out for drinks wasn't exactly her most favourite thing to do in the world because they all got too loud and rowdy for her. Feeling incredibly guilty for thinking such a thing, Riza always tagged along and made the effort anyway.

"Riza!" Rebecca called to her as she walked away.

She cringed but turned to face her friend.

"Ignore him, all right? He's an asshole."

"He's always an asshole, though," Riza muttered.

"Exactly," Rebecca interjected. "That's just the way he… is… right now." It looked like Rebecca wanted to reveal more about Roy, but she didn't. She even frowned to herself at her poor excuse for an explanation.

Riza supposed that was fair. She was the newest addition to the friend group, and it wasn't Rebecca's place to share such secrets and knowledge with the newcomer so easily. They obviously didn't trust her enough yet.

"But," Rebecca stressed. "He's… trying," she finished lamely. She frowned again.

"Trying for what?" Riza was confused.

Shaking her head, Rebecca ignored her question. "Just please don't take it to heart. They're all drunk. It's likely they won't remember any of this tomorrow."

Yes, it was likely they wouldn't remember. But Riza would.

"I thought you were some kind of ice queen or something to begin with," Roy drunkenly laughed inside her mind, mocking her.

It wasn't meant to hurt. It was meant to be a joke. But it was always hard for Riza to form connections with others. Thank you, father of the year, Berthold Hawkeye. To hear someone so openly declare that they thought she was so cold… Riza tried so hard all the time but always seemed to fall short of the mark. But with these guys, it had been different. And to hear them laugh and joke about how she'd been so cold towards them in the beginning when Riza had intended to be the complete opposite… It hurt her. It hurt that they'd all laughed too. No reassurance was offered. Rebecca opened her mouth, looking directly at Riza, but was cut off by Havoc suddenly changing the topic.

"I know, and I won't," Riza lied. "I'm a bit tired though, so I'm just going to head home."

Before Rebecca could reply, Riza turned around and was on her way out of the bar.

"Hey, Hawkeye!" a voice called to her as she stepped inside the lift. "Hold the door!"

Roy hurried over to her and she was half tempted to let the doors close on him, but that would probably be "too cold" of her. Irritably, she pressed the button to hold them open for longer.

"I missed you tonight. Where'd you go?" He leaned heavily against the wall as he tried to catch his breath. The doors closed, leaving them both in the lift together.

"I didn't feel too well so I went home."

Roy blinked at her. He straightened his spine and blinked again. He was staring and it was annoying her even more.

Of all the times for her to head down to the waste disposal room she just had to run into him as he arrived home. He was even drunker. His jacket was haphazardly thrown on and his hair was mussed up, some strands sticking out. He stank of alcohol and Riza tried not to wrinkle her nose in the enclosed space.

"Rebecca told me I said… some things," he muttered. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cold metal. "Actually, she tore into me," he chuckled to himself. "I didn't mean to. I really didn't." Groaning loudly, his head rolled forward before he opened his eyes to look at her again. "I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry." He burped quietly and Riza scoffed in disgust as she caught a whiff of more alcohol on his breath.

"It's okay," she replied calmly. It wasn't but talking to a drunk Roy would probably be like talking to a brick wall. If he still remembered and felt guilty then he could come to her in the morning. Or whenever he recovered enough from his hangover. It wasn't like he had to make much of an effort, he lived right across the hall from her in this apartment building.

The door to the lift opened and she stepped out, leaving him behind.

"No, it's not okay," he slurred. "It's really not. It was a bit of a joke, but it hurt you and I'm really sorry about that."

"Roy, we can talk about this later –"

"No, we can't," he replied earnestly.

She turned to shoot him a glare, but she paused. His eyes were wide and as earnest as his tone. They were owlish, begging her to listen to him.

"We can't do it later because I feel so guilty. You're not cold," he told her. "You're the complete opposite."

He was drunk, and he needed to go to his bed.

"You're warm, like the sunshine," he declared. "You're one of the sweetest people I know. And you're one of the best! I'm… I'm so sorry," he mumbled. Sighing heavily, he leaned against the wall beside his apartment door. He almost fell over too, but Riza didn't move to help him.

It's just the alcohol talking.

Still, she could see how guilty he felt. Even if he was drunk, being this torn up about it would be hard to fake.

"Roy," Riza called to him.

His head lifted and his eyes were so sad.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I'm so sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean the things I said."

Letting out a quiet breath, she exhaled slowly. "Let's get you into bed, okay?" His face was miserable as he looked at her, so she offered him a smile. "We can talk about this in the morning. Don't worry about it."

It was well past four in the afternoon when Riza heard a knock on her apartment door. Roy looked like hell. The dark bags under his eyes were prominent and he looked slightly pale. Still, in his hands were two cups of to-go coffee in a cardboard holder and a paper bag from the bakery down the street.

"A peace offering," he announced with a nervous smile. "And an apology."

Riza regarded him for a moment. While he still looked slightly ill and hungover, his smile had lit up his face as soon as she opened the door and her eyes met his. It made her heart flutter inside her chest, but Riza pushed it down. And, he'd ventured into the outside world to get coffee and a sweet treat for her. The least she could do was hear him out. Although, after seeing how broken up he was last night, Riza was already willing to hear him out. That sorrow was hard to fake when one was as drunk as Roy was.

"Of course," she smiled. "Come in."