Both of the last two chapters were from Rose's POV. This one is from Dimitr's POV.
The song is Her Man by Gary Allan. Sorry I didn't update Stop Being a Coward! again tonight but this one shot has been calling to me for a while so I wrote and posted it. I don't have school tomorrow so I will write a new chapter of that story.
I don't own Vampire Academy or the song and everything is Unbeta'd...
Her Man
It had one year, three months, four days and countless hours, minutes and seconds since I had turned back into a dhampir from the soulless life of a Strigoi. Very slowly I was becoming the man I use to be. I still didn't believe that I deserved a happy life after all the terrible things I had done but I am selfish and started thinking that maybe I could have one.
Rose was amazing. Every night for the past eleven months she had left a rose on the stump where I went to think. Every night I went to that place of solitude after Lissa and Christian had gone to bed. Christian was now my charge, as the 'dhampir turned Strigoi' stigma didn't really affect him since he has his own 'my parents turned Strigoi' stigma to deal with.
No one questioned the logic when I was reassigned to him. No one knew exactly why I was assigned to him as neither Tasha nor Christian had been assigned guardians before that. I did however make sure that no one knew the real reason I was chosen as his guardian but the truth was because I had requested to be. After becoming a dhampir again and having to prove myself worthy of the title 'Guardian', I hadn't had a charge assigned to me and doubted that I would anytime soon. I could have gone anywhere or done anything (short of being a Royal's guardian) but I wanted to be close to Rose without being too close to Rose so I had privately requested to be Christian's guardian after a private conversation with him. He had agreed to not tell Rose or Lissa or anyone and whether that was out of fear that I would hurt him or pride at having a guardian since he never thought he would have one, I wasn't sure.
That was the first shift in the ways I was doing things. After I started receiving roses from Rose, I thought she was crazy and that she would really get over me. But she had been persistent; any less stubborn woman would have given up much quicker. That was part of my reasoning in requesting to be Christian's guardian.
Other things changed in my behavior as well. I would laugh from time to time at Rose's antics or at her and Christian's petty arguments. I had tried to remain neutral but it somehow didn't work. Christian and Lissa would go out together on 'dates' and drag me and Rose along as their guardians. At first I would stand back and watch the room, never interacting or talking to them and keeping my eyes as far away from Rose as was possible. After a while of being strictly in guardian mode though, they had convinced me to relax a little and our outings had become sort of fun. I still remained fairly rigid in my guardian persona but since we were on court grounds, I let up from time to time and actually had fun.
Despite how Rose and I had somehow managed to become friends, I could tell she was still sad when she looked at me. There was something in her eyes that she tried successfully to hide from everyone except me. She couldn't fool me. She never called me out how on she felt or told me again but her actions told me daily as she religiously put the roses in the small clearing I went to every night. I knew she followed me most of the time but I never acknowledged her being around. That was part of the reason why I only dealt with my emotions on the inside and left my face emotionless on the outside. Somehow, being with Rose had turned from a struggle to a need and being with her once again brought me more peace then my clearing or being in church combined.
I'm gonna change my ways of 'doin things around here
I'm turning over a new leaf ,gonna get my self in gear
'Cause I've got a women who's better then most,
and I've made a mess of her plains
Starting today ,all I'm gonna be is her man
I was Strigoi for goodness sake. I did terrible things not only to Rose but also to innocent people. I took lives and killed because I wanted to, it brought me a sick, twisted sense of joy to do it and I didn't care. There was not such thing as a conscious since I didn't have a soul.
While I was Strigoi I held Rose captive and abused her body with my selfish needs. I didn't know how to love her then, just how to use her for my own pleasure because she was something my body needed. She was like a drug to me and seeing her with my heightened eyesight and better senses was overwhelming. She was even more beautiful that my human eyes had ever seen her.
When she escaped, I coveted her body and soul and didn't want to rest until she was mine. Her doing that only proved how much of my equal she was and made me want her that much more. I was proud of how strong and brave she could be. I needed to be with her and so I stalked her and played with her, vowing to myself that we would be together forever. Not only did I send her notes to taunt her but I also stalked her. I had people to watch her in different places both inside and outside of Court and while they were in Vegas that could watch her during the day. I created a shrine of sorts with pictures of ever step she took while we were apart, of everyday that I wasn't within sight of her.
When I became a dhampir again, I was disgusted with myself and with the lengths I had gone to to be around Rose. That was why I had told her I didn't love her and had stayed away from her. She had refused to stay away though and I hated her for it at the time. She was like my own demon mocking me every time I looked at her. She was a constant reminder to what I had done not only to her but also to the countless victims that her presence represented. She was the only one who had escaped my wrath.
It slowly has gotten easier to be around her. Not once has a look of disgust crossed her face or hatred filled her eyes. She has never blamed me for what I did to her while I was Strigoi. Those things she had forgotten the moment the soul was returned to my body. I knew that I would never be able to forgive myself but something about that pain that had become such a permanent fixture in her eyes was wearing down my resolve. I was hurting her more by not loving her and only being her friend that I ever did as Strigoi. It had taken me a ridiculous amount of time to figure that out but it was true and I was going to make it right if it was the last thing I did.
'Cause I've been a wild catter, and a go-go getter
Been an S.O.B. right down to the letter
I've had misadventures, I've even got pictures
I'm even more than I can stand
But startin` today, all I'm gonna be is her man
I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I tried to get back with her she would be more than willing. She has ignored every other man who has come up to her during this whole time. She even finally got through to Adrian about their relationship being strictly friends.
For her to be able to forgive me and forget about everything that I have put her though is so much more than I deserve. She is so strong and so beautiful that I am grateful that she is willing to give me another shot at forever. And that is what it will be with us, neither of us have any doubt; we will be together forever if we can just get to that point.
Forever use to be a scary word to me but now I realize that forever is every single day that passes. I am going to devote my life to making up everything bad thing I have ever done to her and then some. I told her once before that she would come before any moroi and somehow I had forgotten or given up on that as much as I tried not to. I thought I was doing what was right for her and putting her before me but it turns out I was just scared to face my demons. I was a coward. Today though, today is the day that I start to make it right.
I'm gonna give it all back, cause all I've done is take
Well I've put her on the back burner while I was out on the make
But I've got a woman who's good enough to give me
A second chance again
And startin` today, all I'm gonna be is her man
'Cause I've been a wild catter, and a go-go getter
Been an S.O.B. right down to the letter
I've had misadventures, I've even got pictures
I'm even more than I can stand
But startin` today, all I'm gonna be is her man
I asked Christian and Lissa if Rose and I could have the night off. She doesn't know it yet but I am going to ask her out on a date. I want to start slow and build back up to a relationship. Each day is a little bit easier and I have no doubt that we can make it to our forever if we are just patient. We have worked through it this far so I'm sure we can do it. Baby steps.
Nerves racked my body as she walked into the kitchen where I was making microwave popcorn. We were just sitting at Lissa and Christian's apartment in guest housing as we often did while they were watching a movie in the other room. I realized that this was my chance to ask her out and I wasn't going to miss it.
"Hey." I acknowledged her timidly. I hadn't asked a girl out in so long that I almost forgotten the gut wrenching feeling that accompanies that prospect of being rejected. I didn't think that Rose would reject me but I wasn't positive. She had always been polite in her rejects of others that even if she did reject me, I knew she would be kind in her words.
She smiled at me but it didn't quite meet her eyes and I once again felt a little pain in my heart for that small part of her spirit that I had somehow managed to destroy. "Hi," was her easy reply as she stepped past me to the fridge in search of a Coke to go with the salty popcorn. Normally I would tell her that she should drink water instead of the sugar and caffeine that the Coke would include but today I let it slide.
I almost missed my chance when I realized she had quickly turned and started walking towards the living room again to rejoin our moroi. "Wait," my voice seemed to hit a squeaky octave that I hadn't been capable of since I turned twelve.
"Yes?" was her simple response as she turned to look at me again.
I gulped and went for it. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to dinner tonight, with me…." I trailed off, hoping she got the unspoken words of as my date.
Shock was obviously the first emotion on her face but it quickly turned into a beautiful smile as the corners of her soft pink lips quirked up just a bit. "That would be nice. But what about working tonight?"
"We both have off, I asked Lissa and Christian earlier if it would be alright. They are going to stay in anyway so they didn't mind."
"Okay then, I'd love to." She was almost shy in her reply. Maybe she was just being timid, not quite sure if this was real or not.
"Great." I replied, more confident now. "I will come by your room at 7 to pick you up." With that being said, I grabbed the now finished popcorn out of the microwave and walked out of the kitchen, leaving her with the most beautiful smile I have seen on her face in a long time gracing her lips. It was also amazing just how bright her eyes looked. I could still see caution in them and the light hadn't fully returned but they were noticeably brighter and I felt pride for being able to do that for her.
The rest of the afternoon passed by relatively quickly as Lissa and Christian watched more movies. Rose and I also watched the movies with them so it kind of felt like that was the first part to our date even though we were sitting on opposite sides of the couch.
Once five came around, Rose and I parted ways as Lissa and Rose went back to her apartment to get ready. I had heard them quietly talking about it in the kitchen when they both excused themselves to refill the popcorn bowl that I had just filled up. It made me a little nervous that she was taking this serious enough to get help getting ready but it made me feel good that she was excited about going to dinner with me.
I had been anxious and picked out my clothes the previous night as I was already trying to prepare for the evening both mentally and physically in hopes that she said yes. I immediately went home and took a shower. I then dressed in dark jeans with a white button up shirt and a black blazer. I had told her it would be a dressy casual restaurant but anything she wanted to wear would be fine.
Still having over an hour before I needed to head Rose's room, I sat down and tried to read one of my favorite Louis L'Amour books. They normally got my mind occupied and calmed me down but tonight they were just words that I couldn't concentrate on long enough to understand. My other option would be to go to the gym but I didn't have time to get all the way over there, work out, shower and then get back in time to pick up Rose. I did the only thing left and took a long silent walk through the court gardens, only getting lose in the maze of ferns once.
Fortunately I managed to take up just enough of my time that I had about fifteen minutes to get back to Rose's room and the walk there took at least ten minutes so I was right on time when I arrived outside of her door.
She answered promptly as if she had been waiting for me to get there. She really was a vision in a sundress made of a white eyelet material that tied behind her neck with small straps. Black sandals adorned her beautiful feet. It's funny how I had never really paid attention to her feet as they were usually in sneakers during training or black boots while we were in our guardian-wear. They were delicate and flawless with her toenails perfectly painted a deep read that worked well with her skin tone. Her hair was wild and flowing down her back in soft waves and she had a small black handbag clutched in her hand. She truly was stunning.
"You look incredible." I whispered, scared that if I spoke to loudly the magic would wear off and tonight would only be a dream.
"Thank you." She smiled, pulling the door shut behind her as we walked down the hallway.
As we walked towards the short flight of stairs that led to the lobby and front of the guardian housing, I reached over and took her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers loosely incase she wanted to pull away. Fortunately, she squeezed my fingers tighter and a small grin kissed her lips. I squeezed her hand back slightly as we headed off towards the restaurant.
Tonight was the beginning of the rest of our lives. I had finally gotten something right when it came to Rose and I was going to spend every day of forever trying to make sure that she knew how important she was to me. From this day forward she would come before everything. She would come before my life and my job. From this day forward, all I was going to be was her man.
I'm a little bit late but I'm wisin` up
Now I'm takin` her by the hand
And startin` today, all I'm gonna be is her man
Did you like it? I will probably write another one shot or two to go with this story but I'm not sure when... I just write them as the mood strikes...please review and thanks so much in advance :)