Chapter 3: Rukia's new friend is a two-for-one deal
He wondered if that cold and distant façade of hers was because, when unguarded, Kuchiki Rukia looked very vulnerable.
Captain Hitsugaya wouldn't see Rukia for a few more days. When she'd come to drop off her new report, he happened to not be at his office.
The meeting he'd arranged between himself and Yamamoto had been set for early one morning. He hadn't received a response to his message that she be there but that was hardly surprising, since he'd only given her very short notice.
In between that time, he'd tried to get Hyorinmaru to talk about it. The dragon had not withheld any of what had happened when she had entered his inner world—through his own eyes at least. When Kuchiki had stumbled in the fight had been well on its way already. Hyorinmaru had explained the basics to him and moved over to the side-lines, silently watching but offering no support or help. The dragon had clearly felt when Kuchiki appeared but immediately dismissed her as a non-threat and chose to ignore her instead. How he came to this conclusion was something Hitsugaya was still mystified by. Sure, Kuchiki wasn't a threat, but for something like this, he felt they should have erred on the side of caution.
Nevertheless, Hyorinmaru only began to pay attention to the girl after she'd sent out a small bit of her reiatsu, which prompted him to go look for her.
When he'd found her she was just a little dark smudge in the vast white snow. Hyorinmaru didn't have many complex feelings—that Hitsugaya knew about—but even he couldn't quite understand the little Kuchiki. The things that stood out to him was how calm she had been, or pretended to be; when she had reached for her zanpakuto only to not find it there—which itself was also rather curious; when she had plopped down on the snowy hilltop to watch the fight with only vague interest; when she had pulled out her yarn and knitting needles seemingly without a care in the world. And finally, the way that she had looked, tilting her head back to look at him, eyes wide and bemused and seemingly too large in her face.
Hitsugaya didn't quite know what to make of this, and truthfully, Hyorinmaru didn't feel a particularly special way about any of it. He had just noticed them and they were what stood out when he'd let Hitsugaya see his memories.
Hitsugaya got to Yamamoto's office early, because he was always early. And yet, he was not the first one there.
Kuchiki was sitting quietly in front of the office. Her head was bent and she seemed to be working on something. The early morning sunlight was very bright and orange and slanted across her dark head, bleaching the black of her hair to a warm red. When she looked up and saw him her eyes seemed to see right through him, which, given their situation, was a little discomforting.
"Kuchiki," he greeted her.
She got up, gathered whatever was in her hands closely, and gave him a very formal bow. "Captain Hitsugaya," she said respectfully, and then she sat down again. He could see that the thing in her hands was actually a ball of yarn and knitting needles—it was only through sheer luck, he thought, that he happened to know what these things were (his grandmother used to knit). She seemed to be knitting a small, flat rectangle.
He gave a small nod.
Kuchiki went back to work but was kind enough to tilt her head towards the closed office a bit, saying, without taking her eyes off of her work, "Lieutenant Sasakibe said to wait a moment."
Hitsugaya stood silently and watched her work. She worked very slowly and her movements were not at all practised or at ease. She was very clearly new to this and seemed to be taking extra care to do it well. It caused him to wonder what she was making and who it was for.
Rukia sat on the floor and worked quietly, focusing her attention on the task at hand rather than, say, the pair of eyes she could clearly feel scrutinizing her.
Throughout this entire process, Hyorinmaru had been paying close attention to the girl and Hitsugaya could not figure out why, nor could he say he liked it.
It didn't seem like Hyorinmaru had special feelings toward the little Kuchiki. It actually felt more like she was a face he could recognize and right now, it was a face he liked more than Hitsugaya's, and he was going out of his way to let him know it. Hitsugaya thought back to what Ukitake had said, teenage rebellion, and frowned.
Fortunately, it was at this moment Yamamoto chose to invite them into his office.
Hitsugaya had previously submitted the lengthy and detailed report he had been compiling over a few days so Yamamoto was fairly up to speed on what was going on. Still, he made them both repeat what they knew of the situation, sitting quietly and thoughtfully before them, never once interrupting. But that was the thing about Yamamoto: he didn't need to say anything. Even though you couldn't really see his overhung eyes, you could definitely feel them, and when you spoke and he was looking at you, well, it was hard for even some lieutenants to maintain their composure.
Kuchiki maintained her composure remarkably well.
Being higher ranked, Hitsugaya had spoken first. Then he'd stepped back and watched as Kuchiki recited her own information. He didn't think she was as composed as she appeared, and perhaps most of the confidence and calm were faked. But there was something in pretending, too, and pretending so well that she may as well have been that collected.
He noticed that she said only what was necessary and important; her voice was clear, her descriptions were concise but thorough and she brought as little emotion into it as possible.
When she was done she gave a curt bow and calmly waited while the Head Captain considered her.
"Are you able to do this at will?" Yamamoto asked after a few moments of silence.
For the first time since she'd greeted him outside, Kuchiki looked over at Hitsugaya, but it was only the barest flicker of her eyes.
"No sir," she said, and Hitsugaya recalled her finger being pressed into his forehead.
"Hmm," Yamamoto seemed to be mulling it over. "And you are sure it's not through contact with skin?"
Kuchiki seemed to hesitate. Hitsugaya sighed and held out his hand to her, palm up. Her eyes flickered between his outstretched hand and his face but, ultimately she rested her own hand in his without saying anything.
"I see," Yamamoto allowed and Kuchiki immediately pulled her hand away. It was like she thought something would happen if they touched for too long.
"This may just be a one-time thing," Yamamoto mused. Hitsugaya gave Kuchiki a somewhat tired side glance.
"It still doesn't explain why it happened in the first place," he said. "I think it's worth looking into."
"Indeed. I think it would be best to keep this amongst yourselves for now. It is needless for this to be a concern among the other captains as we wait for things to settle after Aizen's defeat." Yamamoto heaved a lengthy sigh. "Although, it is rather curious, I must say."
He looked up and addressed Hitsugaya directly: "I've received your special request. I will not have you be given any assignments until your matter is dealt with. As for you, Kuchiki—"
Hitsugaya watched in amusement at the subtle but very stiff straightening of her spine.
"—I will also be postponing any of your future assignments for the time being. It is worth seeing if this event will repeat itself if the circumstances are the same. As such, I will be temporarily reassigning you to Captain Hitsugaya's division until we can conclusively determine whether this is an issue between the two of you or not. Captain Ukitake can expect a directive to that effect by the end of the day."
It was hard to tell how Kuchiki was taking this news. Hitsugaya watched her with interest but he couldn't discern much. She nodded her acquiescence with obvious reluctance but remained silent. Hitsugaya didn't mind this outcome too much—he hadn't expected it but then again he hadn't expected anything really.
When they stepped out of Yamamoto's office Kuchiki was frowning. It seemed like there were things she wanted to say but she refused to speak first. Hitsugaya obliged her.
"You can have this day to make your arrangements with Captain Ukitake and your division," he said. "I expect to see you first thing tomorrow."
Kuchiki met his eyes. There was something interesting in her face, he noticed, though he couldn't quite put a finger on it.
"Thank you, Captain," she said solemnly and immediately shunpo'd away.
It occurred to him then that she always seemed to be running away from him, a thought that made Hyorinmaru curl a little in contempt.
Hitsugaya wouldn't say he was awaiting Kuchiki's arrival that morning but, well, it was the only thing he was expecting, and thus he thought about it a lot. The vague plan in his mind was that, should he be drawn into his inner world again, Kuchiki would have to touch him and then they would see if this was a one-time, freak accident or something more. His reiatsu he was sure he would be able to control, and he was certain the suppressant had a negligible influence on the whole thing, if any. It was merely because he was unprepared the last time that his reiatsu had gotten so out of control.
He had, since then, tried to return to his inner world on his own. However, no matter how long he meditated and tried, he just couldn't. This would normally alarm him, but given everything, it seemed to make a lot of sense. There was also the concern that this little experiment would get in the way of the more important task at hand: defeating himself and unlocking his new power. However, based on Kuchiki's performance the last time and Hyorinmaru's nonchalance about the whole thing, he didn't really believe that this would be a problem.
It occurred to him right then that he hadn't spared much thought or feeling to the fact that he had agreed to Kuchiki potentially invading his inner world again without any resistance. He dismissed this immediately as irrelevant: if he had any reservations about it they would have to be pushed aside anyway as there was no way around this that he could see.
He had, however, spent a considerable amount of time thinking about what exactly they were supposed to do. He knew he would have to take the lead in this, as Kuchiki seemed to have neither the desire nor the intention to do so, and he would very much like to be on top of this issue—or at least appear like he was.
He didn't know when his next trial was going to be so Yamamoto was right to think Kuchiki should be nearby at all times just in case. However, this also meant that there would be a potentially long time of her sitting around waiting. There was nothing he could think of to have her do in that time. Having her involved in his division work was out of the question and it would be unwise for her to bring her own division work, if she had any, because that was also a regulation issue. In the end, Hitsugaya had decided he would just ask her how she wanted to spend her time and he was willing to facilitate her so long as she stayed nearby.
Now though, with Kuchiki sitting properly in front of him in his office, he was looking at the object she had just placed on his desk, prompting him to forget everything he had wanted to say.
"Kuchiki," he began, unsure of what type of tone he should be using to address her in this moment. "What is this?"
She tilted her head a little, like she couldn't understand why he was asking. "It's a cherry blossom."
"What am I supposed to do with it?" he asked, sounding remarkably calm and not at all confused.
"It isn't for you."
And she sounded rather huffy about it.
The small, pink flower was sitting innocently on his desk. He hadn't spent a lot of time paying particularly close attention to cherry blossoms, or flowers for that matter, but even he could tell that this was as perfect a specimen as one could find in nature.
Slowly, his gaze moved away from the flower to the girl sitting before him.
She was very obviously avoiding his eyes, one hand curled into a fist on her knee and the other holding onto the sleeve of her uniform in what he could only assume was discomfort.
For the first time, Hitsugaya felt reluctant about this arrangement.
Hyorinmaru, on the other hand, seemed pleased.
In all the time Hitsugaya had known the dragon, he had never outwardly expressed any kind of vanity. Yet, at the thought that he had been given a gift, of all things, Hitsugaya could feel his bemusement and eventually his acceptance at the little thoughtful flower clear as day. If he were so inclined, Hitsugaya would go so far as to say the dragon was flattered, if only a little.
Hitsugaya could only rely on Hyorinmaru to understand what had transpired between the zanpakuto spirit and the little Kuchiki, and even then Hyorinmaru hadn't gone into much detail. He had no idea what Kuchiki had thought about it.
Immediately, he decided it would be best if they dropped this topic.
"Unfortunately, Kuchiki, I don't have much for you to occupy your time with here," he told her, "If there is anything you would like to spend the time doing I will try my best to allow you, within reason, of course."
The girl relaxed a little, though not all the way, he noticed. She seemed to consider it.
"Captain Ukitake has his own private training grounds," she said.
Hitsugaya frowned, not sure where this was going. "Yes, all captains do. It allows us to keep the details and the extent of our powers and abilities hidden, should there be a breach within the Gotei Thirteen. A captain's bankai and shikai are not commonly well-known."
He wasn't sure why he had gone into that much detail when he usually wouldn't and she hadn't even asked a question. She didn't seem to be interested, either, nodding casually.
"I'd like to use it," she said. "Yours, I mean. While I'm here."
"Yes, I gathered as much," he said drily. It was a little interesting, he decided, watching the way her lips flattened into a thin line.
"If you don't want me to—"
"I didn't say that."
Of all the things she could have asked for, and among the things he could see himself consenting to, this was rather reasonable. Hitsugaya himself made good use of his private training area and over the years it had been tailored specifically for an ice-wielder, so of course it would work well for her. She would be close by and productive at the same time. And, although he knew she would not be spending every minute of the day training, she would, for the most part, be out of the way. Yamamoto had left it up to the two of them, but mostly him, to come up with a suitable, fake, explanation for their arrangement, since they could not avoid other people within their divisions discovering it but they also could not tell the truth. This would at least keep Kuchiki directly out of the office and as secluded as she could be within his division. It was altogether rather perfect. Hitsugaya was duly impressed at Kuchiki for thinking so far.
The only problem was that he regularly trained there, and now more than ever he needed it. But, he supposed, it's not like they couldn't use it together. It would be good, he thought, to have a sparring partner.
"That's fine," he said, and Kuchiki's shoulders relaxed.
"Thank you, Captain Hitsugaya," she said sincerely, and for the first time Hitsugaya realized that there was warmth in her voice. He didn't realize it had been missing all the other times she'd addressed him until he heard it.
He merely nodded, giving her quick instructions on how to get to the training grounds. Seemingly eager to get started, she got up immediately, gave him her polite thanks again, and set off.
Always running, he thought absently as she left.
It was sometime later in the day, around lunch perhaps, that Hitsugaya began to consider that he hadn't been precise enough when he'd told Matsumoto that she could take some rest time after their last mission.
At the time, he had only meant the rest of the day. However he had promptly forgotten about it afterwards as he read and collected reports and attempted to make sense of what had happened between him and Kuchiki. It was only now that he realized it had been a while since he'd seen his lieutenant.
As if she had been summoned through the sheer force of his thoughts, Matsumoto swung his door open with a rambunctious "Captain—"
Hitsugaya heaved a long-suffering sigh before looking up at her.
"—I've brought you some snacks." And she proceeded to dump a heap of paper-wrapped food onto his desk. Hitsugaya himself just barely had time to move away before it came crashing down on his neatly organized desktop.
"I've heard some gossip, Captain," Matsumoto said before he could properly rebuke her. "I've heard you've taken the little Kuchiki in." She was looking down at him with her hands on her hips, a glint in her eyes and a smile Hitsugaya did not like the look of.
But he was too busy marvelling at the fact that the news was already out.
He arched an eyebrow at her. "Oh?"
"Come on, Captain, don't be like that," Matsumoto pouted, which Hitsugaya pretended not to see. "Renji told me that Captain Kuchiki told him that Captain Ukitake told him that you've taken Kuchiki Rukia into our division."
"Temporarily," he said, confirming it all the same.
"Uh huh," she looked unconvinced. "There are ways to go about getting a girl's attention, Captain, and this is certainly a novel approach."
Hitsugaya ignored her. "Kuchiki has been assigned here as per the Head Captain's orders. And it should have nothing to do with you."
Which, of course, caused Matsumoto's smile to widen.
"And why, do tell, is she here?"
Hitsugaya had spent a lot of thought on what he was going to tell his lieutenant about the situation. As a general rule, he didn't keep many secrets from her; she had a way of finding things out especially when he tried to hide them, and well, in their line of work it was always best to have someone else aware of what was going on. And to be fair, Matsumoto had no reservations telling him things.
However, he felt that the situation between him and Kuchiki was…different. Not special, but, well, private (he didn't want to call it intimate). It wasn't like he thought Matsumoto couldn't keep her mouth shut about it—which was true, to an extent, but she knew how to keep a secret when it mattered. Hitsugaya was more afraid of her jumping to conclusions about the whole thing and also he didn't want her to know about something he didn't himself fully understand yet.
Luckily, he'd already thought up a story that was so near the truth Hitsugaya was sure he wouldn't have to worry about it.
"Kuchiki is the only person who can withstand my reiatsu; she's here to make sure we don't repeat what happened at the Fourth."
Well, she could barely withstand his reiatsu, but with her close by, hopefully, if there was a next time, it wouldn't get as bad as it had been the first time.
Matsumoto gave him a look he could only interpret as she believed him, but knew there was more to the story. He busied himself with clearing off his desk.
Matsumoto looked around the office for the first time. "Where is she, anyway?"
"Training," he answered and, recognizing the look in Matsumoto's eyes, added: "You're not to disturb her unnecessarily."
"What about necessarily?"
"If you have that much time on your hands there's a stack of reports on your desk that need to be done by yesterday."
"But Captain—"
"I'll add a stack for every word that comes out of your mouth after this."
Matsumoto shut up.
It was on the third day of their arrangement that Hitsugaya noticed there was something wrong with Kuchiki Rukia.
Well, actually, there had been a niggling feeling bothering him since she'd disappeared to train on the first day but it was only on the third day that he realized what it was all about.
He also hadn't seen her much in that time.
She'd come into his office early in the morning (so close to when he'd just sat down at his desk that he wondered if she'd been there even earlier and was just waiting to come in at an appropriate time), greet him briefly but respectfully and then politely ask if it was okay to use his training grounds that day. Hitsugaya would wave her off and then he wouldn't see her for the rest of the day.
Anyway, on the third day he found himself in the somewhat rare circumstance of having no more paperwork to deal with—save the ones he always reserved to punish Matsumoto with, if need be.
He decided to brew some tea. Unfortunately, he was all out of the loose leaves he usually kept in the office. He did, however, find the teabags Ukitake had gifted him earlier and, as he sat drinking the fragrant though somewhat oversweet tea, Kuchiki Rukia unsurprisingly popped into his mind.
Now, Hitsugaya tried not to deliberately think about the girl—and he really didn't have the time. But she still managed to occupy much of his thinking space since this whole thing had started. He thought about her every time he tried to talk to Hyorinmaru. He thought about her every time he tried to meditate into his inner world. He thought about her every time he replayed the fight with himself in his mind.
Basically, Kuchiki Rukia had effortlessly and seamlessly become an integral part of his life—at the moment—and it was hard to not think about her at all.
And as he sat there, thinking about not thinking about her, he realized something.
He couldn't feel her reiatsu at all.
And now that he thought about it, for someone who was studiously training so nearby, he couldn't recall having ever felt her reiatsu.
Hitsugaya calmly finished his cup of tea and then, securing Hyorinmaru to his back, decided to make a visit to his training grounds. He was due for some practice himself, incidentally.
He fully expected to get to the training grounds and find her absent—it was the most obvious and logical explanation and, since he had no reason to not accept this, he hadn't bothered to question or doubt his judgement.
He was wholly surprised, therefore, to find that not only was Kuchiki Rukia exactly where she said she would be, training, but Hitsugaya couldn't understand how she could be doing what she was doing without leaving a trace of reiatsu.
Hitsugaya's private training area was as bland and as plain as could be. When he released Hyorinmaru there it all became covered in ice anyway so it was not really a problem for him. But he had wondered, briefly and vaguely, exactly how Kuchiki would train here by herself, without an opponent to fight against and without any built-in obstacles.
And it turned out, she'd solved this problem quite nicely on her own.
The entire area was covered in a blanket of soft white snow. From the snow rose tall, thin cylinders of ice, no thicker than a paintbrush; they looked like the slightest wind would knock them over but somehow they rose high into the sky. They seemed to be placed randomly but were distributed throughout the training area at unequal distances.
Still higher above these were stalactites of ice. They were hung overhead, suspended in the air and were so numerous they almost blocked out the sky above. Each one ended in a sharp, deadly point.
This was all made from Kuchiki, he was sure, and if he really tried and paid attention, he could still feel her reiatsu, but it was very faint. He was certain he wouldn't be able to detect it back in his office no matter how hard he tried.
Kuchiki herself was the easiest thing to spot. She stood out in her black uniform very obviously. She was standing on one foot on one of the tall, thin towers of ice, absolutely still. Any errant movement would cause the ice to break, Hitsugaya could tell, and though she probably would still be able to save herself from the fall by shunpoing in time, a fall from that height was sure to cause some bodily injury.
She was holding her zanpakuto loosely by her side—Hitsugaya could only see the white ribbon billowing behind her. And there was another, black ribbon that he quickly realized was a blindfold.
The set-up all of a sudden made sense to him and even Hyorinmaru was now paying attention.
Kuchiki seemed to take a deep breath. The icicles above her glinted ominously and there was a precarious stillness in the air.
And then she moved.
Honestly, Hitsugaya almost missed it.
One moment she was standing there, the next she was just a blur. Like a dam being lifted and water gushing forth, the icicles above started to fall. They began at one end of the grounds, falling in cold icy sheets, and descended on her as she moved.
She flew from one cylinder to the other, one foot just barely alighting on the small surface before she was off again, her zanpakuto making quick and clean work of any icicles that came too close. Hitsugaya was duly impressed that she never caused a cylinder to fall, all movements precise and careful.
The shards of ice hit the soft snow with a muffled thud, almost soundless, and the only thing he could really hear was the whoosh of the blade through the cold air.
Kuchiki didn't move so much as she…danced, he mused, and the zanpakuto in her hand was the most fitting accompaniment, long white ribbon curling in wide, graceful arcs.
She was almost at the end. The falling ice had destroyed all but two of the towers. Kuchiki leapt from the one she was on and immediately, Hitsugaya knew she wouldn't make it. These last two seemed to be much farther apart than any of the others had been and he was sure, watching the projection of her jump, that she had misjudged it.
He couldn't help but feel disappointed. She had been doing so well.
However, Kuchiki herself seemed to realize her mistake. Unfortunately, she had been balancing moving from cylinder to cylinder with dodging, and occasionally obliterating, the falling stalactites. It the midst of her misstep, her instincts took over and in that brief moment of decision her instincts chose to correct her landing. Unfortunately, this put her in the pathway of a falling icicle, which happened to be one of the biggest and sharpest of the bunch.
Up until now, Hitsugaya wasn't going to interfere. But he could see clearly that there was no way she would react in time to dodge it. Before he even knew it he was up in a flash. He evaded the last of the falling ice with ease and quickly wrapped an arm around her middle, pulling her violently but safely out of the way.
He landed out of the way of the collapsing ice, still firmly holding onto her. Kuchiki Rukia felt incredibly small and thin in his arms.
She, who, blindfolded and unsure of where the ground was under her feet, was holding onto him tightly, all of her body weight essentially leaned into him. He could clearly feel the rapid movement of her chest against his arm and hear her laboured breathing against his neck.
She was surprisingly very warm.
Silence and stillness settled around them.
"Kuchiki," he called her, so softly it could almost be mistaken for gentleness.
With great effort, she found her footing and moved away from him, bracing her hands on his shoulder and chest to steady herself. She retrieved her hands and pulled her blindfold down from her eyes.
Wide, doe-like eyes blinked at him and in that moment Hitsugaya couldn't think of anything.
It was hard to believe that those eyes belonged to a Shinigami.
"My apologies, Captain Hitsugaya," she was saying, voice muffled by the blindfold that was now over her mouth.
"It's fine," he said absently, but then frowned. "What would you have done if I wasn't here?"
She looked like she didn't understand the question. "I would have made it, probably. The fall's not that bad either. I can always use shunpo or kido to save myself. I've done it before."
"What about the ice that was about to go right through you?" he asked, folding his arms in disapproval.
It seemed to take her a moment to realize that she had been in danger of being speared by a dagger of ice the size of her own body.
"Oh, they can't hurt me," she said simply. "They're made from my reiatsu," and she gestured out at the training grounds.
Hitsugaya hadn't noticed it, but the ice and snow had all disappeared. His training grounds looked like how it always looked.
He couldn't help but feel dissatisfied.
When he looked back at Kuchiki she was busy untying the blindfold from her face. Her zanpakuto, now resealed back into its usual form, was secured at her hip.
"Why couldn't I tell you were here?" he asked her. Her head jerked up to him and then tilted to the side in question. "Why couldn't I feel your reiatsu until I was this close?"
"Oh," she looked away. Her hands were folding the black cloth up and she chose to focus on that. "I've been practicing that, keeping my reiatsu levels as low as I can, even when I'm using it."
Which, Hitsugaya had to admit, was very impressive. Generally, captains and lieutenants had to actively keep their reiatsu in check, but this was more for the safety of nearby souls than secrecy—it was, after all, well known that they were very powerful. From what he knew, Kuchiki Rukia had to be powerful enough to be a third seat, at least. It wasn't usually at the same level of a lieutenant, even, but in some instances, Madarame, for example, their spirit pressure was something they also needed to know how to control. But there was no need to ever keep it that low and even if there were, the use of seals like the ones they had to use in the Human World would suffice. So ultimately, he didn't see the point in her trying.
"Why is that?"
Kuchiki gave him a look that clearly told him she hadn't thought he would keep asking, like it was unusual he was interested enough to continue the conversation.
She also looked like she didn't want to tell him, which Hitsugaya became all the more intrigued by.
She just shrugged, which he thought was the coward's way out.
"That's not an answer, Kuchiki," he pressed and he saw something flare in her eyes. She lifted her chin stubbornly and this was probably the most personality he'd ever seen from her, directed at him.
"It's my answer, sir."
For once it wasn't sickeningly respectful and he almost smiled.
"Let's have tea, Kuchiki," he offered and took immense pleasure in watching the defiance blink out of her eyes, replaced by open-faced confusion.
"Sorry, what?"
"Tea," he explained patiently. "In my office. I'd like to talk to you about how you've been using my training grounds."
He didn't mean to sound disapproving, which was clearly how she was taking it if the downturn of her mouth and how her face paled were any indication, but he was content to let her think that if it got her to acquiesce without much fuss.
Kuchiki still seemed hesitant but ultimately, she nodded and Hitsugaya couldn't help but feel like this was a victory. He decided to put this feeling down to the fact that he seemed to have suffered many losses recently.
But deep inside Hyorinmaru disagreed with him heartily.
It wasn't until they were already back in the office that Hitsugaya remembered that the only tea he had was what had been given to him by Ukitake. Which had been a gift from Kuchiki herself.
Would it be in poor taste to serve her the same tea she had given to another person? Hitsugaya thought about this seriously for a moment but then remembered that he wasn't the type of person to care about something like this and stopped thinking about it at all.
For her part, Kuchiki just arched her eyebrows a bit at the proffered cup but said nothing.
"Are you training for the lieutenant's exam?"
Sharp eyes looked up at him and it was hard to read what was in them but even Hitsugaya knew his question lacked tact. He knew, as most everyone else did by now, that Kuchiki Rukia was prohibited from taking the lieutenant's exam. As far as he knew, she was the only person in the history of the Gotei Thirteen who had ever been given such a restriction. He could see the way her shoulders pulled back as she retreated, mouth opening to give him some curt, flat answer.
However he was a straightforward person and before she could answer, he added: "I assumed that Captain Kuchiki would be less reluctant now, given your performance during Aizen's betrayal."
Though he said this with a flat tone, it was meant to be a compliment. Yet still, Kuchiki seemed to be more affronted, taking a measured sip of the tea before responding.
"Though it really doesn't concern you, sir, I am not."
Hitsugaya was amazed at how she said such impolite words in a perfectly polite tone. He was tempted to call her out on this, but instead chose to remind her: "I am currently your captain now, Kuchiki, however temporary. So it does concern me."
She stilled for a very brief moment before regaining her composure.
"I doubt even you can do much about it in whatever little time we have together." She said this indifferently but it seemed like all of her ire had vanished, making him wonder what had gone through her mind in that moment.
Hitsugaya didn't like to be doubted like that, however reasonable, and was suddenly motivated to not give up.
"Then tell me what you were doing," he said. "If you're not training to be a lieutenant. What you were doing earlier goes beyond what is expected of an unseated officer."
She looked up at him and he felt like this was the first time she was really looking at him without some kind of reservation. He could see she was carefully considering what she would say.
"I want to become stronger," she said simply. "The battles I faced with the Arrancars made me realize that, lieutenant or not, I should be stronger. For next time." Because they all knew there would be a next time and Rukia thought it was by the skin of their teeth that they had made it through with so few casualties.
"But—" she put the tea cup down carefully, "—it may be out of my reach right now to be as strong as you or my brother or Ichigo. But I can be faster, stealthier, more agile."
It had actually been her captain's suggestion. Ukitake, who had seen her train and struggle and push herself to beyond the limits of her physical and mental capacities, only to hit the immovable wall that was her brother's protection, had decided that enough was enough. It was foolish, he thought, to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. She was admirable for her persistence, he'd told her kindly, but asked her to focus her efforts on something else. The Thirteenth Division had long gone without a lieutenant after Kaien's death and he knew the position wasn't going anywhere. Ukitake had never told her but it remained vacant largely because he wished she herself would one day fill it, though his continuous attempts to get Byakuya to change his mind remained unsuccessful.
Instead, he'd asked her to think less about becoming a lieutenant to protect the people she wanted to protect and to just strive for being able to protect them regardless. Brute strength wasn't everything, after all, and although she had potential, there were other things that she could use to her advantage, things that were often overlooked in other Shinigami.
It had taken a while for Rukia to give his advice due diligence, so set was she in her ways. But once she had, she'd done her best to look at everything in a new light. She had been training specially over the past few months and her captain had proudly told her that she had already vastly improved in that time.
Captain Hitsugaya seemed to be looking at her with great interest and Rukia tried not to squirm under his gaze. For the first time in her life, she felt supremely grateful for the sharp and critical way in which the Kuchiki family usually looked at her, for it had thought her how to be still and composed even while under intense scrutiny.
"And what you were doing earlier?" he enquired.
"Largely Shirayuki's conception," she admitted, brushing her hand along Shirayuki's hilt by habit. Hitsugaya's eyes followed the movement. "Captain Ukitake occasionally designs tasks for me too."
"And you no longer wish to be a lieutenant?" he asked.
Her eyes flickered up to him before looking away. "No, I didn't say that…"
"It should still be the ultimate goal, regardless," he reminded her. "I don't like to see wasted potential, Kuchiki, and I especially do not like to see people wallow in their own, unfounded self-doubt."
Here she frowned, eyes frosting over just a bit. But Hitsugaya didn't have time to wonder about having hurt her feelings. "Your captain appears to have done a lot for you and while you're here, it would be a shame let up. You seem to be doing well on your own but there is only so much you can do by yourself without actually putting it into practice against a real person. So consider this, Kuchiki," he leaned forward, capturing her flighty gaze, "While you're here I'll take over Captain Ukitake's role: I'll arrange tasks for you and train you. It should help that our powers are similar."
Kuchiki was still frowning but she seemed to be thinking about it.
"In return, you can help me prepare for my next trial," he added, which caused her eyebrows to raise. There was surprise and confusion in those large eyes and honestly, those words had just slipped out of his mouth. He hadn't thought about it and it honestly didn't occur to him before this. But he could clearly see what thoughts were going through her head, why he would offer so much for no reason. Hitsugaya didn't have an answer to that, and feeling like he really needed one, he'd created one on the spot. He also realized that she seemed hesitant to accept based on his generosity alone—but if she were giving him something in return, he felt like she was more likely to say yes.
"I…thank you, Captain Hitsugaya, but I'm not sure how I can help you…?"
The bewildered look she directed at him was surprisingly unguarded and he wondered if that cold and distant façade of hers was because, when unguarded, Kuchiki Rukia looked very vulnerable. It didn't help that she was really only a tiny, child-like thing.
Pulling his thoughts away from the detour they were taking, Hitsugaya cleared his throat. "You heard what I told the Head Captain," he said, "and I'm sure your captain would have briefed you on it as well."
Slowly, she nodded, looking not at all convinced. "I still don't see—"
"I haven't made much progress since then," he interrupted her and this was, for some reason, especially difficult to admit. "And my zanpakuto spirit seems unwilling to help guide me." Hyorinmaru was unobtrusively listening intently to this conversation but refused to say anything. Kuchiki's frown deepened.
"However, he seems to have taken an interest in you," he said, and her eyes widened at that. "If your presence at all gets him to cooperate you can consider us even."
Altogether, Hitsugaya thought this reasoning was rather thin. He was sure that even without Kuchiki he'd be able to overcome this obstacle eventually—Hyorinmaru wouldn't hang him out to dry, he was pretty sure. But Kuchiki seemed to buy it, which was all that mattered. Before he could think further about why it was so important that she buy into it, and also that she accepted, Kuchiki nodded her head.
She didn't seem wholly convinced, and separate from this whole thing Hitsugaya approved her scepticism because, really, it would have been a point against her if she had accepted it without doubts.
"Alright," she said. "Thank you, Captain."
Still a little stiff, he thought, but an improvement, nonetheless.
"I usually spend the mornings sorting out the most important affairs for the day, so you'll have to find something else to do in that time. I don't recommend practising on your own, only because then you'll be too exhausted for what I have planned for you. We'll begin after lunch or whenever I finish. Expect to work as late as needed."
"Yes, sir."
Hitsugaya looked over the girl before him. He decided not to take her visage of delicateness at face value, instead only considering the determination in her eyes.
"If you want to be stronger, you'll have to work hard," he advised, only realizing his tone had become several shades gentler when she startled at it.
"Yes, I—I will, sir," Kuchiki hid her face in a quick bow. "I won't disappoint you."
"Good," he said, pleased. He was rather looking forward to it.
End of part one.