A/N: Ok I am challenging myself here. I wanted to test out different chapter lengths and to see if I can keep up with the once a week posting. This chapter is around 10,000 words so I will see if people prefer chapter lengths this long or if they prefer the shorter chapters at 5,000 words where they might get an update twice a week instead of once. So this is going to be my second test story, the first being Betrayal Leads to Devastation.
The reason I am uploading new stories to test chapter length out is because these stories won't have a long overall word count. The current stories I have going on will be over 200,000 words easily. These stories can be wrapped up quicker as they are not going into a very long and complex plot line. So review and let me know if you prefer this length, longer or shorter.
Chapter 1
Bravo made their way into the War Room to get their new mission. They had been waiting for the past couple of weeks to get geared up. Things with the team had been a little off ever since Nate had died six months ago. They were a six man team, operating with only five. It wasn't unusual for a team to be down a member here and there, but Jason didn't like operating with a man down. When you had one less man out there, it was one less set of eyes, one less mind to bounce ideas off of, one less gun. But filling Nate's spot was not something Jason, or any of them, took lightly. It had to be the right person, the right personality. Jason knew though that the Upper Brass were getting ansty with them not taking anyone else on, especially when they passed up the new round of recruits. He would have to make a decision soon before Eric took any more heat for it.
The second they walked in and it was only Eric, Jason knew something was going down.
"Alright, what's going on?" Jason asked the second the door was closed behind him.
"You're getting a new teammate." Eric started.
"Oh, since when?" Sonny asked, not impressed at what he assumed was a call by the Upper Brass.
"Since twenty minutes ago. He'll be here in a few minutes along with everyone else for the Op we have. Upper Brass placed him." Eric said, but Sonny cut him off.
"Of course they did. Great, we get to babysit some stuck up entitled connected Seal."
"It might not be that bad. Your new member is Clay Spenser."
"Spenser? He didn't pass SERE training." Ray said surprised.
"He tapped out, pussy." Sonny said.
"He didn't tap out, he was pulled out." Jason said, but that was all he knew about it.
"Captain Harrington had to pull him out three hours before time was up due to a serious family matter. Over the past three months he's been off active duty and working within the Linguistics unit. He's been working from home on a secured laptop doing translations from email, documents, and recordings. He'd like to be back to active status and after the instructors backed Harrington up on Spenser's skills and that he would have graduated top of the class had he not been taken out, the Upper Brass has granted him his Tier One status. He is being placed within your unit for two reasons, one you need someone and two he's been on an op already with you."
"He good to go?" Jason asked.
"As far as I know yes. I don't know what pulled him, it's kept him home bound for the past three months. He's cleared physically and mentally."
"Alright, we'll keep a close eye on him and start training him. He's gonna be a lot of work." Jason said.
"He's not gonna be that much. He's got a lot of great skills. He's only twenty-four, youngest Seal to make Tier One status in decades. He just needs brothers to be there for him." Ray said.
"There is one snitch." Eric said.
"What?" Trent asked.
"Because Spenser knows the five languages we deal with the most, the Upper Brass doesn't want to give him up from the Linguistics unit."
"Of course not. He can do the work of five translators, he's an accountant's wet dream." Ray said.
"But they gave him up, so what's the issue?" Sonny asked.
"They were going to give him up, but Spenser wanted to keep doing the work. He's been cleared to work full-time in both units." Eric answered.
"Wait what?" Jason asked.
"He can't work full time in two units. That's not even possible." Ray said.
"He'll continue to work from home, he'll also work on down time, on the plane, anytime he can. The Upper Brass has approved it." Eric explained.
"Why would he want to work two full time jobs?" Trent asked.
"Maybe he likes the work." Brock answered.
"Then he should do just that. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be standing next to some guy who doesn't live and breathe this job." Sonny said.
"He seemed pretty dedicated and solid to the team Son." Ray said.
"Then why work as a pencil pusher too?" Sonny argued.
"I don't know, maybe he needs the extra money. We don't know what the family emergency was, but it was serious enough that Harrington pulled him out of SERE training with only a few hours left. So whatever it was, it couldn't wait even three hours and it took him out for three months. He doesn't make much at his level, enough to live off of, but if something happened, he wouldn't have a honeypot. He might not be able to afford to work only one job." Ray said.
"We all have problems outside of the job, but what we do on the job is everything. Him working an extra job will only make him tired and open him and us to mistakes in the field." Jason said.
"We're all tired from time to time. Jase, we know better than anyone what it's like to not make enough. I mean how many times have we both worked overtime to cover the household? I'm just saying we should give the kid a chance before jumping to conclusions on whether or not he can do this job." Ray said. He didn't want to judge Spenser about having to work, he was still struggling with his own bills and he made more than the kid.
"It's a done deal anyways. He'll be here in a couple of minutes. I know not all of you like Clay, but I'm asking you to give him a chance, for me. Ash, Adam and me were thick as thieves when we were all in the unit. Up until we found out Clay was in Green Team, we had no idea he even existed. Clay's basically my nephew, he's family." Blackburn said.
"Ash never told you he was having a kid?" Sonny asked.
"Adam had a younger sister, who was not planned. He was twenty when she was born. His parents died in a car crash when she was just three, Adam basically raised her. When she was sixteen she got involved with the wrong crowd at school and started to use drugs. Adam did what he could for her to get her sober. Ash and me were there for him to help wherever we could. What we didn't expect was for Ash to be sleeping with her. She was eighteen when she got pregnant and that is when Ash told us the news. Needless to say it ruined everything between Ash and us. Adam tried to reach out to his sister, but she never was found. Ash had led us to believe that she had an abortion. Four years later her body was found dead from a drug overdose and there was no indication that a kid even lived there. We had assumed she went through with the abortion." Blackburn explained.
"Holy shit." Sonny said, shocked and disgusted that Ash would do something like that.
"Where did the kid end up?" Ray asked.
"We don't know. We assumed he was with Ash or his parents. After he was pulled from SERE Adam reached out to him and did inform him of being his biological uncle. I don't know anything more though. Clay hasn't been around in the past three months and Adam has been working, but also spending time with Clay. I asked what was going on, but Adam is tight lipped about it. I haven't even seen the kid since he was pulled. Look, all I am asking is that you give him a fair chance, like you would anyone else."
"We'll give him a fair shake." Jason promised.
He didn't like that Clay was working two jobs, but he couldn't ignore that Clay was family to Adam and Blackburn. That made him family to them.
"Still don't like that he'll be working two full time jobs. He ain't gonna be able to focus on this one with having to do work on the other. I don't need someone watching my back that can't even pick a single career." Sonny said, not impressed at all.
"He might not have a choice. We don't know what his financial situation is. He had some type of family emergency, it probably tapped him out. We know he wants to be a Tier One operator, he didn't go through Green Team for nothing. It's probably just a temporary thing needing both jobs." Ray said in Clay's defense. He had vouched for the kid before he had to leave, and he still stood by his decision on having Clay in this team.
"Either way, there's nothing we can do now. We'll keep an eye on him and if his work is suffering then I'll deal with it." Jason said.
The door to the room opened and Clay walked in with the rest of the group for their briefing. Clay could tell the others were unsure about him, but he just gave a nod and went over and sat down in one of the free chairs. The others took his appearance in and saw that he looked tired, it wasn't a good start.
"Hey Spenser, welcome to the team brother." Ray said with a warm smile.
"Thanks." Clay said with a small smile.
"Alright, we are heading to Yonkale, Liberia. As you all know the country has been at war for centuries. The country has been at war with rebels destroying everything in their path and recruiting everyone they can for their cause. That includes children for child soldiers. Aid camps have been getting attacked and their supplies stolen and the workers killed. There is a large shipment being brought in that the Government is looking to have protected. You are to go with the shipment of aid supplies and go around to the different camps and deliver them. I know it sounds simple enough, but these supplies are for food, water, vaccines, medicine, things that the innocent people need to survive and without the supplies millions will die." Blackburn started.
"So we're just on protection detail?" Sonny asked.
"Yes and no. The CIA is hoping you will be able to gather more information on Hasim Kabul, the current War Lord of the Rebels. Not much is known about him. Any information you can gather from the locals will help us to get a lock on Hasim and eventually take him out. With him gone we might be able to stop the Rebels from growing even more." Mandy said.
"Do they even speak English over there?" Sonny asked.
"For the most part, but the smaller villages will speak Mende." Clay answered.
"Is that one of the fancy languages that you speak?" Sonny asked.
"No." Ray said, just as Clay said yes.
Ray looked at Clay confused. "You speak Arabic, Pashtu, Spanish, French, Mandarian and English. You also speak Mende?" Ray asked, surprised.
"I speak a total of ten languages. Only six of them are relevant to the navy." Clay said with a shrug.
"Wow." Brock simply said.
"We are hoping the locals will be able to give us something. We have some American money that you can use to try and barter with." Mandy said.
"That's not going to work over there." Clay instantly said.
"Why? They don't like money over there?" Sonny asked with a skeptical look.
"Can't like something that you have no use for. There's no shops over in those smaller villages that they can go to. They get everything from the aid camps. You want them to talk and corporate, you need to offer them something that will help their family, keep their kids alive. Money is just another reason for the rebels to rob them."
"What works?" Blackburn asked.
"Water and rice, but if you really want to win them over chocolate and soccer balls. If the kids are happy, the parents are happy and they will cooperate with anyone that makes their kids happy."
"Soccer balls?" Trent asked, surprised.
"Nothing but dirt over there. Kids will all get together, a whole village full and play with the one semi-flat ball that they have. They'll do it all day."
"We got a couple of hours before we need to be wheels up, we'll pack some things that you can take with you to trade for information." Blackburn said.
"Have they checked the tunnels?" Clay asked Mandy.
"Tunnels? What tunnels?" Mandy asked.
"There's tunnels that go from Sierra Leone to Liberia. They go underneath the river so slaves, drugs and guns could travel without detection from one side to the next. They were created a century ago and fortified to last for centuries. Families would try and use the tunnels to escape from one side to the other in hope for a better chance. The only problem is the Rebels grew in numbers and now overrun most of both sides. They still use the tunnels to travel unnoticed all over Liberia and Sierra Leone." Clay explained.
"So Kabul could be hiding under the ground and no one would know it." Ray said.
"How do you know about the tunnels?" Jason asked.
"I grew up in Liberia." Clay simply stated.
"Wait what?" Sonny asked, confused. Ash lived in Virginia Beach, would have for all of Clay's life, so how did he end up in Liberia?
"For how long?" Davis asked, shocked as well.
"I was four and left when I turned eighteen."
"You have all your shots right?" Trent asked, concerned now.
"For the most part." Clay answered with a shrug.
"For the most part? What the hell does that mean?" Sonny asked, and the guys could hear the slight panicked tone to his voice.
"What don't you have?" Trent asked. The medic in him was more concerned about what Clay could get.
"Never got the BCG vaccine, and no point in getting it when I enlisted. Or the Chickenpox vaccine."
"BCG, that's the TB vaccine. Wouldn't you have been at a high risk of TB in Liberia?" Ray asked.
"Ya, that's why I didn't get the vaccine Stateside. I already had TB when I was eight, twelve and seventeen." Clay said completely calm, like it was no big deal.
Everyone now had their attention on him. That was not what they wanted to hear.
"You got the cure every time right?" Jason asked.
"Ya for the most part. The cure worked to put it in a dormant state when I was seventeen."
"Dormant? As in, sleeping and not cured?" Sonny asked, as he moved his chair further away from Clay.
"Yes, it's dormant inside of me, but I'm not contagious. Even if it became active for some reason I still wouldn't be contagious." Clay said.
"He's right, he is the only one at risk of it turning into active TB. It's been dormant this whole time so you probably won't get it again. You didn't get the chickenpox vaccine, have you had them yet?" Trent asked.
"Not yet no." Clay answered.
"Oh my god, he's a walking disease just waiting to happen." Sonny said reaching over and using the hand sanitizer.
"Can't he just get the chickenpox vaccine?" Jason asked Trent.
"No, it'll cause him to get chickenpox from it. As an adult it would most likely become shingles. The good news is, we don't go into areas where chickenpox will be an issue. But he will need to avoid kids that get it or adults that have kids with it. If Ray's kids get chickenpox, Clay can't be around Ray because the virus could be in Ray and it won't affect him, but it could make Clay infected."
"We can worry about that if it happens. For now, we'll look into the tunnels and see if we can see anyone coming or going from them." Blackburn said.
"Davis and I will work on locating the tunnels and see if we can discover any intel on them being used." Mandy said.
"The shipment is set to arrive within the next eighteen hours. So wheels up in two hours." Blackburn ordered.
"Come on, I'll show you where you can put your stuff." Ray said to Clay.
Clay gave a nod as Sonny spoke. "I'm not sitting beside him."
"He's not contagious Sonny." Trent said with a sigh.
They all headed out and Ray took Clay over to their cage room to get him set up. Jason was about to follow when he heard his name being called. He looked down and saw Derek was making his way towards him.
"What's going on Derek?"
"I just heard you got Clay."
"He got placed with us, why?"
"I live across from him. I know you guys normally do this thing where the new guy has to buy cases of beer at every first. I'm asking as a friend that you don't do that with him."
"I know he drinks and I know he's now working two full time jobs so he has double the salary. But he's got no kids or wife to support. Which has me wondering if he has some gambling addiction or something I should know about for where all of his money is going." Jason said, not liking this conversation at all.
"It's nothing like that. He works his ass off and he's not spending it on anything like booze or gambling. Honestly, he can barely afford to eat. It's why I'm asking you to not do the case of beer thing. He's not going to be able to afford it and it's only going to cause him more stress. Give the kid a break, as a favor to me."
"Fine, but as a favor in return, you need to tell me what the hell is going on with him. You live across from him so you must know what took him out for three months."
"I do know, but it's not my story to tell. I can tell you that it was out of his control and despite what happened he is doing the right thing. He stepped up when he didn't have to and at his age he could have easily said no. He's got a lot on his plate and he is doing his best to build a life. He'll tell you when he's ready. But Jase, he doesn't trust easily. He'll trust you in the field, but not with himself outside of the field. He's got strong fortified walls all around him, it's going to take time for you to get through em."
"And that is something we will work on, assuming he makes it long enough. I don't like him working two jobs. I don't like how tired he already looks and it's first thing in the morning. And that's on top of the fact that I don't like how cocky he is."
"His cockiness is just his armour. Ya he's got a bit of an ego, but it's well deserved considering everything he's accomplished. He's got skill, a lot of it. He will be an asset to your team. We were going to take him, but we were told Bravo was down a man. He's smart as shit and he's good at what he does. Just give him a chance Jase, that's all I'm asking."
Jason could see that Derek was serious and he was asking for this favor. Jason just gave a nod. He would give Clay a chance, but he was still reserving judgment until he sees that Clay can handle his own, listen to instructions and not cause problems. He didn't mind little quirks, but he wasn't going to deal with any major problems that could not be fixed.
"I'll give him a fair shake." Jason promised.
"Thanks Jase, I owe you one."
"Seems to me like the kid owes you one." Jason said before he turned and headed to the cages.
He walked in and saw everyone was there, but Clay.
"Where's the kid?" He asked.
"He had to make a call. He's going to meet us on the tarmac." Ray answered.
"How many cases of beer do you think we'll get out of him?" Sonny asked with a big smile.
"At least fifteen." Trent said.
"Zero. We're not doing that with him." Jason said.
"What? But that's the best part of having a rookie." Sonny said, not happy about this.
"Son, the kid is working two full time jobs. What makes you think he's got extra money to spend on beer?" Ray asked.
"Because he's making twice the amount he should be." Sonny pointed out.
"He's not working two jobs just for the hell of it. He's obviously got something going on. So we're not going to add to his problems by making him pay five hundred in beer." Ray said, not impressed with Sonny at the moment.
"Look, for now we do what we always do and see how he handles things. He's been out of the game for a few months so let's see what he can do. If he's not cutting it, then he's off the team." Jason said.
He wasn't impressed that Clay was back working on missions while he was still working for another department. He could understand someone having to need an extra job for money issues, but he wasn't sympathetic to someone working two full-time jobs in the military. If Clay needed more money he should just be working the one job and cutting down costs in his life. He was clearly using the money for something and Jason was going to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't have some sort of illegal problem. Derek said it wasn't like that, but Jason was having a hard time believing it. He also wasn't sure if he would have picked Clay for the team. Ray wanted him and it seemed like the others were interested in having him around, but Jason wasn't sure he had the right personality for the team. He really didn't appreciate the Upper Brass sticking him with them, especially when Alpha would have been happy to have him. There wasn't anything he could do about it now though, so he focused on the mission like he always does.
Once they were all set they headed out and got onto the plane. Clay was already there getting his hammock set up. They all went about getting ready and once take off was completed, Clay grabbed his bag and started to get to work on the laptop for the linguistics unit.
"How long do you think that will last?" Sonny asked Trent and Brock, the only two left around him.
"Don't know. He looks tired, stressed, whatever family emergency pulled him out still seems to be affecting him." Trent answered.
"Wonder what it was." Brock added.
"Had to be bad though right? I mean to get pulled out, against your wishes just three hours left. What the hell couldn't wait three hours? His old man is still alive so it's not like there was a death in the family." Sonny said.
"Maybe it was his grandparents." Brock suggested.
"Maybe. It doesn't matter when he's ready he'll talk about it. For now just focus on the job." Trent said, before he headed off to get his spot ready.
They had no idea what was going on with Clay but what they did know was that they had a mission to go on. Clay was either going to prove he should be here or he was going to prove he was washed up.
XXX
Arriving back on the plane and you could tell everyone was feeling something. Clay headed straight over to his corner and got his stuff off before he would need to get back to work on translating. Jason and the others stood closer to the opening of the plane as Sonny spoke.
"What the fuck was that?"
"Maybe he's rusty." Trent offered.
The whole mission was just weird. Clay was helpful, he knew the language and was able to help get the locals on their side. The food, water and soccer balls for the kids went over so well that the local adults were more than happy to talk to them and talk about everything they knew. Clay was present and was focused, but he didn't speak much. The Clay they were used to didn't show up on this mission. There was no confidence, there were no questions or comments. He was very much a Yes Sir Boy on this mission. He spoke when he was spoken to and when it was required. It was like the Clay that they got was just some shell.
"Rusty? It's like we got a robot instead of a person. What the fuck happened to him?" Sonny said.
"He's not cocky anymore at least." Ray said with a small shrug. He didn't get it either, but this was Clay's first time out after whatever happened to him.
"I'd prefer for him to be cocky at this point." Jason said.
"Maybe he can't do this anymore. Whatever happened obviously changed him, maybe he's not cut out for this." Trent said.
"Either way, someone's gotta talk to him. We need to make sure his head is not up his ass. One bad op and he could get himself or one of us killed." Ray said.
"I'll talk to him." Jason said.
He knew what Ray was saying was right. Clay had to get back into the game and fast or one of his brothers could be paying the price. They all headed off to get their gear off and Jason waited until they were up in the air before he made his way over to Clay. Everyone was relaxing and getting ready to crash, but Clay was sitting down in the corner of the plane with his laptop and headphones on. Jason could see how exhausted he was, but also stressed. Something was going on and Jason needed to know what. He couldn't have Clay out in the field like this. Jason walked over and sat down in front of Clay. Clay's eyes snapped up when he saw someone in his line of sight. Clay paused the recording and removed his headphones.
"Ya Boss?" Clay asked.
"Not right now. Right now we are just two team guys having a chat about life. I'll be honest with you and you be honest with me. No judgments, no lectures, just two guys talking it out." Jason started. Even if he wanted to lecture and yell at Clay, there was no point. It wouldn't do anything because something else was going on, something he didn't know about. Clay didn't need a lecture, he needed someone who would listen and talk things out with him.
"Ok." Clay said, completely unsure about where this conversation was going to go.
"You know my dad was a Seal, not in DEVGRU, but Seal Team Four. He was gone a lot, but my mom was, is, amazing. And when he was home, he was home. His mind was with his family and he always made sure to make up for lost time. He took me to hockey practice and games. I wanted to be just like him and when he was killed on tour when I was sixteen, I knew I wanted to keep his memory alive. I wanted to honor him and keep helping people."
"I'm sure he's proud of you for it."
"Reluctantly proud, but ya he would be proud. I don't think he ever wanted me to be a Seal and follow in his footsteps. I didn't get it at first, but now I look at my son Mickey and the thought of him being out here, it makes my stomach go up in knots. Thankfully he is more interested in hockey and I have been pushing him to focus on that than anything else. I know Ash was overseas a lot and you were in Africa, apparently, were you with your mom?"
Jason knew his mother was dead, but he didn't want to let Clay know that. He needed Clay to open up to him. Jason was really trying to figure Clay out. Because right now he was seeing two completely different people in him and he needed to know which one was real. Was Clay the cocky pain the ass from their first mission or was he this quiet yes man that he was on this mission. Or maybe he was somewhere in between, either way Jason needed to know so he could move forward with the team.
"No she overdosed when I was four before I went over there."
"I'm sorry. So you lived with your grandparents?"
"Why are we talking about this?" Clay asked, not looking to reveal too much information about his life.
"I'm trying to learn more about you, figure you out. Why did you join the navy? Why did you want to be in DEVGRU? I know it wasn't because of Ash. I really need to know why kid."
Clay let out a slow breath as he looked around the plane. He saw that everyone was giving them space and wouldn't hear anything they talked about. Still, this wasn't easy to talk about for him. He never actually thought he would ever be telling anyone, but especially Jason.
"I joined because of you." Clay admitted softly.
That was not what Jason was expecting at all. He had no idea why Clay would ever join because of him. They had never met before, sure Clay might have heard of him, but that couldn't be enough to make him want to join.
"What do you mean, you joined because of me?"
Clay was quiet for a moment and Jason could see the level of pain and hurt that flooded through his eyes. Jason's mind was quickly trying to run through all the times he had saved someone from a mission that he could have come across Clay. The problem was he couldn't think of any one specific time. Jason moved from his spot across from Clay and sat down beside him. Jason didn't know what Clay was going to say, but he knew it would change things between them.
"I don't talk about it, I don't like talking about it. And I don't want anyone to know."
"I'm not going to tell anyone, you have my word on that." Jason said with complete strength to his voice.
Clay let out a shaky breath before he spoke. "I was four when my mother overdosed. It was just us in the apartment and it took a few days before Ash came by to give her drug money. When he found her dead he took me out and back to his place. I thought I was going to be living with him. The next day he got dressed up in his fatigues and put me in his car. Told me I was going to be living in Africa with my grandparents. Told me how there were giraffes and elephants wandering free, that I could ride them. He made it sound like this amazing place, I was so excited to be there and meet these grandparents. I thought he was coming too, but when we got to the gate he told the flight attendant that I was travelling alone. He got called away for an emergency deployment and he couldn't go with me. They allowed me on the plane alone. He told me to be a good boy and that my grandparents were going to pick me up when I got there. Then he walked away."
Jason didn't think he could find anyone more disgusting as a father then Ash. The problem was though, this wasn't getting him any answers as to how Clay joined the navy because of him. All he was learning was how much of an asshole Ash was. Still, it seemed like Clay needed to talk so he was going to let him go at his own pace.
"When I got off the plane it was a whole other world. Everyone spoke a different language, the signs were all in different languages and I knew none of it. I got off the plane and just stood there waiting to see my grandparents. I had no idea who they were or what they looked like, but I believed I would know when I saw them. I knew they would have to be white, so I focused on the white faces, but there weren't many. After three hours a woman came up to me and asked if I was lost. I told her I was waiting for my grandparents, but I had never met them before so I didn't know what they looked like. She told me she was going to help me find them. I never should have gone with her." Clay said with regret flooding his voice.
"You were only four years old Clay. You were in a foreign country in a place filled with strangers. It's natural for you to trust an adult, trust that someone would help you, especially a woman." Jason said gently.
"She asked about my bag, but Ash didn't pack one. All I had was the clothes I was wearing. She took me outside and got me into a car. There was a man there, but she said it was her husband. They just wanted me to get out of the heat and they would find my grandparents. That we were going to head off to the Embassy because they would have my grandparents' name and address. They took me to this house and that started my living nightmare for ten years." Clay said with a deep pain to his voice.
"Can you tell me what happened?" Jason asked gently. He didn't want to push Clay on this, but anything could have happened in that house.
A single tear rolled down Clay's cheek and he wiped it away as he spoke. "They um… they ran a human trafficking ring. I spent ten years being chained up in different rooms, being tortured and raped by a lot of men. I stopped counting a long time ago how many, how many times I was moved. Then one day I was in a room with a new client and before he could touch me a bullet went right through his chest. Then you walked in." Clay said, as he turned his head slightly so he could look at Jason's face.
Jason's mind instantly popped the memory in. He clearly remembered that mission. He was already in Bravo, but not in charge. They were sent in when there was word of a human trafficking ring that was using the profits to fund a terrorist cell. Jason was already a father and when he walked into that warehouse, into that room and saw a naked man standing in front of a small boy he just shot. Jason could still clearly remember that little boy. He was thin and covered in bruises. He was filthy and naked with a chain attached to his ankle. In the room was a dirty thin mattress on the floor and a bucket. Jason had taken his jacket off and covered the boy up while he got the chain removed from him. It had taken a long time to get Clay to even leave the room with him. After a couple of hours Jason was finally able to get Clay cleaned up in the shower, dressed in some clothes and examined by a military doctor.
"I remember, but I had no idea it was you. I didn't even know you were American. I'm so sorry Clay." Jason said, his voice thick with remorse. He thought that kid he found would be ok, that his parents would be found.
"You got me free, you don't have anything to be sorry for. I know I didn't talk, but you spent all night sitting beside my bed and you just talked. It was the first time in my life I felt safe. It meant everything to me. Afterwards I stayed in an orphanage and got my high school diploma and when I was eighteen I got on a plane and headed back to the states. I wanted to do something to help people and I wanted to be someone that was worth being saved. I had no idea if you were still alive, but I figured the best way to pay you back was to enlist. To help more kids and make you proud. I never thought I would see you again or even be going on missions with you. I guess I didn't turn out how you probably thought."
"I've always told myself to not think about the people I come across on missions or on tour. But there have been times when I can't help but wonder about someone, mostly a child. I still have nightmares about finding that little boy in that room. Finding you in that room. I've never forgotten about you and I've often wondered what happened to you. You're a seal." Jason said with a proud smile. Jason moved his hand to the back of Clay's neck and rubbed his thumb along it as he continued. "Clay, I couldn't be prouder of you. After everything you went through for those years, you could have easily given up, turned to drugs or drinking to deal with it. You became stronger, you survived. You became a warrior. I couldn't be prouder of you."
Clay gave him a sad smile and Jason could see the pain was still very much fresh in him. It wasn't a wound that would heal easily, it was still hurting him and Clay was still a long ways away from being healed. Jason was determined to help him get there though. He had to leave Clay in Africa when he was younger, but he wasn't about to leave him there a second time. Whatever was going on with Clay, Jason would have to try and help him through it and help him find his footing again.
"I don't know what happened three months ago that pulled you out. It's your story and business to tell, but I can see that it's changed you. Before you were cocky, not afraid to tell us your opinion or thoughts. This time around though, you didn't speak up unless we asked you. You kept quiet and your head down. I need to know who the real you is Sunshine."
"Neither I guess. I learnt pretty early on it was easier to put up a cocky front with people. If they were giving me shit about being cocky they weren't giving me shit about being smart. Kinda became a self-defence mechanism. As for today, you didn't pick me, you got stuck with me. I don't know if you would have picked me three months ago, that mission we did together didn't end well. I figured I had screwed myself out of getting the chance to learn from you. And now you got stuck with me so I figured I would keep to myself and follow the orders. Figured I had a better chance of not getting kicked out that way." Clay said with a small shrug.
"I don't care for the cocky front. You can lose that, because none of us care that you are smart. We could use a little smart in the family. But I don't need some robot either. We need someone real. We need you to be who you are. I need you to put in your opinions and ideas. I want you to ask questions, I want you to learn. We need Clay Spenser, not someone who doesn't exist." Jason explained.
"Ok, I get it. I'll stop hiding." Clay promised.
"That is exactly what we need. And never be afraid to be smart. Smart people, they see the world differently. That difference could be the difference of us all getting home safe or us burying one of our own. So ask all the questions you need and voice your opinion. That's how I run my team."
"I can ask a lot of questions." Clay warned.
"I'm good with that. It tells me you are listening and looking to learn. And we'll teach you everything we know and how to do this job the right way. Now is there any chance that you are going to tell me what the hell took you out for three months? And why you are killing yourself working two full-time jobs?"
Jason didn't know if Clay was going to tell him, but he was really hoping he would. Even if he had to keep it to himself, he would. He just needed to know where Clay's head was at and make sure he wasn't asking the kid for too much.
"Some medical bills came up that I'm on the hook for."
"For you?" Jason was concerned that Clay had been sick for the past three months and maybe now he was back to being healthy enough for active duty.
"No, someone in the family. I'm completely healthy I swear."
"Is there anything we can do to help?"
Jason would have liked to know who was sick, but it seemed like Clay didn't want to share that information. He couldn't help but wonder if it was Ash.
"No, I just have to work and try and pay it off. I won't let it interfere with being in Bravo." Clay promised.
"Honestly, I'm not happy with you working two jobs. I'm not happy that you should be resting and sleeping right now, but instead you are working. When the hell do you sleep?"
"At night. It's a balancing act, but I'll get there, I swear."
He knew he couldn't order Clay to only be working one job. That wasn't his place and he knew what it was like to not make enough money to support the household. He had Alana to help out and together they made it work, but if he had to do it on just his salary alone, they would be in trouble. He would be keeping a close eye on Clay to make sure he wasn't working himself into the ground.
"Fine, but I'm reserving judgment on it. This isn't me approving it. People are not meant to be working eighteen hour days and barely getting any rest or stress release."
"I'm ok. I'm used to long days and hard work."
There were plenty of times growing up where Clay would go days without sleep because of the men coming in to rape him. Even the nights when he would be left alone he was too afraid to fall asleep. He had gotten used to not sleeping then, he would again now.
"Don't make it healthy. Have you had any problems from what happened to you growing up? Did you speak to someone about it?" Jason asked gently.
What Clay went through was damaging and easily destroyed a child for the rest of their life. The fact that Clay wasn't a drug addict or an alcoholic was impressive all in itself.
"I'm good."
Clay had never spoken about it. The military didn't know, no one knew. He knew if the Upper Brass found out what he had gone through growing up they would order him to speak with a shrink and Clay knew what that shrink would find. He would be diagnosed with PTSD and medically discharged from the military. Clay couldn't let that happen. This was his dream and he wasn't going to lose it. Not only that, without the military, he had no idea what he would do for work. He would lose everything.
"Alright, well if there is a time where you're not good. You can always talk with me. I'll always listen, any of the guys would. And just know that there is no shame in needing to speak with a professional."
"I know. I'm alright."
Jason placed his hand on the back of Clay's neck and rubbed his thumb along it. "Ok. I'll let you get back to work, but you also need sleep too Sunshine."
"I'm almost done and then I'll get some sleep."
Clay was nowhere near done, but Jason would be asleep soon and he wouldn't notice. Clay was looking at day three without sleep, but he could always try and catch a nap later on in the day. When they land it would be around ten at night so they wouldn't have to stay at base. Clay could head home and try and get some sleep. Jason gave a gentle pat to the back of Clay's neck before he removed his hand and got up. Clay put his headphones back on and got back to work. He had a deadline and he needed to meet it. Jason headed over to where the guys were all standing around trying not to make it seem like they were waiting to hear about what Jason had discovered.
"So?" Ray asked.
"He knew we didn't pick him and he didn't want to get kicked out so he figured he would keep his head down and just do as he was told."
"So we get the yes boy then?" Sonny asked.
"No, I told him that we didn't need him to do that, that we needed him to be himself. No cocky shield, just Clay Spenser. He said he would stop hiding and just be himself."
"So are we keeping him?" Sonny asked.
"Ya, we're keeping him. He needs some time to adjust, but he'll get there. He's a good kid and he is skilled. He'll be a good fit." Jason said.
"Well that's a huge change of tune from you. You must have had one hell of a talk with him." Ray said surprised.
"He's not who I thought he was. He's Bravo, it's just that simple." Jason said with strength to his voice. If there was one thing that Clay was, it was Bravo and Jason wasn't letting him go anywhere, not again.
"Did you find out what happened three months ago?" Trent asked.
"He didn't really want to talk about it. Just said he had medical bills to pay for someone in his family."
"He didn't say who?" Ray asked.
"Nope. We know his mother died when he was four, he didn't say anything about grandparents. I'm thinking it was Ash, but why the kid would be paying for it, I don't know." Jason answered.
"He wouldn't talk more about it?" Brock asked.
"Nope and I didn't push. Not yet anyways. He needs time to build that trust with us. For now we'll work with him and build up that trust." Jason said.
"And if he don't get better?" Sonny challenged.
"He will. He wants to be here and he's worked his ass off to get here. He's family, it's just that simple Sonny." Jason said with complete confidence. Clay would work it out and they would finally start to see the real him.
"Fine, but I still don't like him working two jobs." Sonny said stubbornly.
"He's gotta pay off medical bills. It makes sense that he is working two full time jobs. Medical bills are no joke, even with our coverage, and there's no guarantee his coverage covered whoever the patient was. He could have medical bills that are half a million dollars right now, easily." Trent said. He knew how bad it could be to pay off medical bills. He had watched as his parents paid off his grandfather's cancer treatments for close to twenty years. It was no joke and could easily make someone homeless.
"Half a million? Shit." Sonny said shocked.
"It can drown someone. He's in a three bedroom right now, wouldn't surprise me if he was renting out the other two rooms to help with rent." Trent said.
"He might be. We'll have to keep an eye on him, make sure he's eating and sleeping properly." Jason said.
"He say how he got to Africa?" Brock asked.
"Ash sent him to live with his grandparents." Jason lied.
He didn't want to tell the others what happened to Clay. That was his story to tell and it was on him who he told it to. Clay also had shame radiating off of him. He was still very much a victim to what happened to him and it was clear he felt like he had something to be ashamed of. That he had done something wrong to deserve what happened to him. That was something that Jason was going to be working with him on, because Clay had nothing to be ashamed of.
"Well at least he grew up with family. It would have been better if he wasn't in Africa though." Ray said he was pleased that Clay didn't have to grow up alone.
"How crazy is it though that Adam is his uncle." Sonny said.
They hadn't been able to talk about it because Clay had been around them. They had no idea that Adam even had a sister.
"It's wild. I mean at eighteen she got pregnant then Ash had to have been sleeping with her before she was of legal age." Ray said.
"Just when you thought he couldn't be more of a disgrace." Trent commented.
"I feel bad for Adam." Brock said.
"Ya, all that is left of his sister is the kid and he didn't get to be there to watch him grow up. It's a shitty deal no matter how you look at it." Sonny said.
"They have each other now. They can make up for lost time." Jason said. He was hoping that Adam would be able to help Clay through the pain from growing up.
"We gonna celebrate tonight his first official operation?" Ray asked.
"Not tonight the kid needs sleep. We're off tomorrow we can surprise him at his place with pizza and beer to celebrate." Jason was more interested in seeing where Clay was living and making sure he was good there. Derek had said he could barely afford food, so he wanted the chance to be able to snoop around.
The guys all agreed and they headed off to their own area. Jason looked over at Clay and saw that he was still working. He really was not happy about this. He didn't like that Clay was working two jobs just so he could pay for medical bills that Jason had a feeling weren't his responsibility. Jason let out a sigh before he headed off to get some sleep himself. They never know when they are going to be spun up so it was best to sleep when you could.
XXX
Clay made his way into his apartment just after eleven that night. He was exhausted. He had managed to get four hours of sleep on the plane, but he still had a lot of work to catch up on. It was going to be another long night and day. At least tomorrow was Saturday so he had a good shot at not being spun up, giving him the day to get what he needed to get done finished for his second job. Clay walked into his apartment and saw Adam walking out of his kitchen. Clay gave him a warm smile as he looked around.
"She's asleep, for a couple hours now. How was your first operation on Bravo?" Adam asked, warmly.
"It was a success." Clay said, as he put his things down.
"That's good, but I meant how did you feel being back?"
Adam knew this was something Clay had wanted, he had worked his ass off to get. He also knew though that the circumstances around his return could make it difficult to have that excitement at being in his dream job.
"I was so afraid of screwing up that I almost screwed up because of it." Clay admitted, as he sat down on the only piece of furniture he had in his living room, besides a small cheap coffee table. Adam made his way over to him as he spoke.
"It can't be that bad. What happened kiddo?"
"The first time I went with them as a Strap ended horribly and I knew there was a very slim chance Jason would pick me. So I figured with him being struck with me I would just do as I'm told and not really say anything unless addressed. Like it used to have to be when I first joined Team Three."
"Oh there's no way that went over well with Jason. He hates a yes man. He yell at you?" Adam was already thinking he would need to have a chat with Jason tomorrow and let him know that Clay was his nephew. That would make Jason treat him like the guys and not someone that shared Ash's DNA.
"No actually. I thought maybe he would when he came over to talk on the flight home. He just wanted to talk and see what was going on with me and the sudden change in personality. He told me he didn't want some yes man and I could leave the cocky persona behind. Said he needed the real me, I promised no more hiding."
"Good. I told you he wouldn't care about you being smart or you asking questions. Jason is different, he likes opinions and creative thinking. It's a good place for you. He'll teach you and let you grow in a safe environment."
Clay gave a quiet nod and Adam could tell that something was bothering him.
"What is it kiddo?" Ash asked, gently.
"It feels like I'm being selfish." Clay softly admitted.
"You're not Clay." Adam instantly said.
The very last thing he wanted was for Clay to feel like he needed to give up on his dream because of Ash. Clay didn't deserve that.
"It doesn't feel that way. It feels like I'm being self by going back to the teams. Maybe it would be better for her if I went the STA-21 route. I'd be in school for up to three years, but my schedule would be normal, I wouldn't be getting shot at. I would be there for her more, eventually make more money so I wouldn't have to work two jobs."
It was something Clay went back and forth on. He wanted to eventually be in an office working as an Admiral, but he wanted to run his own team first. He wanted that life experience first, but maybe that was just because he wanted to be in a Tier One team. Being an Admiral was his plan for after he lived through being a Tier One operator, it was his road to retirement. Clay couldn't help but think maybe it would be better for him to let his dream go and just do what he needed to do.
"You wouldn't have to work two jobs if Ash wasn't being a fucking asshole and blocking you from what you need. I wish you would let me handle him." Adam said, with an edge to his voice. He wanted nothing more than to get his hands on Ash and make him pay for everything he had done to Clay.
"He's my responsibility to handle." Clay said, once again.
"I know, but one day I might just ignore your wishes. Look kiddo, the only thing that matters is what you want. What is your dream? Don't overthink it, if you could do anything, what would it be?"
"I want to be in the teams, I want to run one. It's not that simple anymore though."
"Simple in the practical sense, no, but it is just that simple of a decision to make. Ash has taken so much from you. More than I know you have been comfortable sharing with me. I don't know what happened to you in Africa, but I do know it was something traumatic that you experienced. The pain in your eyes when I have brought up your past is still fresh and unbearable. He's one of the people responsible for that pain. He has robbed you of your childhood. He's robbed you of a life where you could have grown up in a safe place with parents who love you. He doesn't get to rob you of your dream too. We will figure this out. You're not alone, you got a whole family kiddo, and we'll all be there for you." Adam said warmly, as he placed his hand on Clay's shoulder.
"I just don't want to let you down. You lost your sister because of me, I don't want it to be for nothing." Clay said, as he tried to hide the pain from his voice.
"Clay is that what you think? That your mother's death is your fault?" Adam asked, with hurt edging his voice.
"I don't remember much before she died, but I do remember her using; her yelling at me. She used to tell me all the time that I ruined her life."
"No, fuck Clay no. Your mother was on the road to self-destruction when Ash got involved in her life. She was using drugs from the age of sixteen. She had every reason to get sober and make a real life for herself standing right in front of her everyday. She chose to keep going down the wrong path. It had nothing to do with you. She was too far lost before you were born. I'm just sorry I didn't know she didn't go through with the abortion. I would have been there for you. I would have petitioned the court to take custody of you. I failed you." Adam said, with a deep regret.
"You can't fail someone that you didn't even know existed. You thought she went through with the abortion, Ash let you believe it. You didn't know and you're here now. You're helping me with her when she is not your responsibility. I couldn't do this without you." Clay said honestly.
"And you will never have to." Adam said, as he placed his hand on Clay's cheek and rubbed his thumb along it.
Clay gave Adam a warm smile. He really didn't have any idea how he would feel if Adam hadn't been there for him three months ago. Adam had given him the strength and encouragement he needed to step up and do what was right. Adam was his support and strength in all of this. Clay couldn't help but wonder what his life would have been like if Adam and Victoria had been in his life. If he had grown up with a father and mother who loved him and raised him. It was a dangerous game though, because maybe he wouldn't have grown up wanting to be a Seal and he loved his job. Then again, maybe he would have grown up to be one because Adam was one. It was a slippery slope that Clay didn't let himself think about too often. He didn't need to go down that slope, there was no going back and it would only waste energy that he didn't have.
Adam pulled Clay in for a hug, one he easily returned. Clay had never been one for touching, especially after ten years of being a sex slave. Touching was not something he enjoyed by other men. With Adam though, it brought a comfort and safety to him. After a moment Clay pulled back and Adam spoke.
"Vic made you some food. It's in the fridge and she was not happy to hear that you didn't have any." Adam gently lectured.
"I got spun up. I was gonna hit the food bank."
"And how many times over the past three months have I told you that we would help you if you need it. That we didn't want you having to go to the food bank just so you can eat. I know you are not used to having people who care about you in your life, but you have people in your life that love you. And we do not want you going hungry, you've already lost weight and with this job you need to be eating. It's too dangerous for you to be going all day without food. You gotta start letting us help you more."
"She's not your responsibility." Clay said, something he had said before on numerous occasions.
"You keep saying that, but I can argue she isn't your responsibility either. You stepped up when you didn't have to and I'm proud of you for that, but that doesn't mean you have to take her on all alone. You've been slowly letting us in, but you gotta let us help you more kiddo. Eventually you will be on tour for three months, it makes the most sense for her to be with me and Vic while you are gone."
"I know, but that isn't fair to you guys."
"It's not fair for you to be missing tours. We can handle it. It's not something we have to work out tonight, we have time before your tour rotation comes up. You need to eat something and get some sleep."
Clay gave a small nod, he was exhausted but he was hungry too. They both stood and Adam pulled Clay in for another hug.
"I love you kiddo."
"I love you too."
Adam pulled back and headed out of the apartment. Clay let out a sigh, he was exhausted, but he had some work he needed to finish first. He had deadlines for the translations and he couldn't be late. That was part of the deal he made to be allowed to still work for the linguistics unit full time. Clay rubbed his face for a second before he headed down the hallway until he reached the middle bedroom. He opened the door very quietly, using all of his training to ensure he wouldn't make any noise and risk waking her up. Clay made his way into the room and did his best to ignore how little was in the room. Clay made his way over to the portable pop up playpen that was being used as a crib. He looked down into it to see his beautiful three month old little girl sound asleep with her thumb in her mouth.
Clay couldn't believe that his life had changed this much over the past three months. Three months ago he was just a few hours away from achieving his dream of becoming a Tier One Operator. He was dating Stella, getting his own apartment, he had his whole future ahead of him. Then it all changed in a blink of an eye. Finding out that Ash had gotten another young woman pregnant, a woman who was brought into the hospital thirty-three weeks pregnant and overdosing from heroin. She died in the ER and an emergency c-section was done right there in the ER. Ash didn't want her, refused to see her, name her, anything to do with her. Clay knew he could have walked away, almost did himself, but he couldn't risk her going through anything he did as a child. The only way to protect her from that possible life was to take care of her, to raise her. Adam had been his saving grace in all of this. He had been there for him throughout all of this. Throughout every procedure that she had to have to save her life. She was born sick, so sick the doctors didn't think she would make it three days, but she did. She was a warrior, a fighter and Clay fell in love with her completely for it.
"Good night Lexi." Clay whispered before he headed out. He made his way to his kitchen to warm some food up before he had to get back to work. He should be sleeping, but it would all be worth it when he got his pay cheque and was able to keep putting a roof over her head. All of the hours were worth it every single time he got to see that sweet little smile of hers. Clay was going to give her a good life and he was not going to turn out to be like Ash. He would figure it out, no matter what.
XXX
A/N: Alright this story will be getting updated once a week on Wednesdays. So please review and let me know how you feel about the chapter length. Also I am sick in bed, so the reviews will help me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!