A/N: So I wasn't going to post this until Wednesday, but I got it done early, so I figured why not? This is going to be a medical chapter and take you all back three months to when it all began. Please remember that Lexi is alive and well, so don't let it get you too sad this chapter as we cover her health. She makes it!
I am also not a doctor or in the medical field. I have done research to the best of my ability. If there is something that I have missed, please message me so I can include it properly. I try to make my stories as close to realistic as I can, especially when it is medically related. I appreciate any info or personal experience that you have.
Chapter 2
3 Months Ago…
Captain Harrington made his way through the SERE training house. This was the first time he would have to pull a candidate out of SERE, but the situation called for it. With only three hours left Harrington wished he could have waited, but if he waited it might be too late. He opened the door and made his way through, ignoring the men that were in the cages. As he walked by, he didn't see the man he was looking for so he went into the back room. He saw Clay sitting tied to a chair getting waterboarded.
"Stop." Harrington ordered.
At his presence, Big Chef stopped what he was doing and stepped away from Clay. Clay coughed and spat out some water as he turned and looked at Harrington. He knew this wasn't right, that only solidified when the trainers removed their masks.
"Sir?" Big Chef asked.
"I have to pull Spenser."
"Hell no. I'm hours away from passing." Clay said with a thick voice. Yes he was in pain, exhausted and would love to shower and sleep for the next couple of days, but he was not about to lose.
"How do you know how much longer you have?" An instructor asked.
"Each of us spends four hours a time in here with you, it's easy to keep track." Clay said, like it was completely obvious.
Big Chef just gave a chuckle to that. Of course Clay would figure out a way to keep track of time in a dark room.
"I'm sorry Spenser, I have to pull you. This can't wait three hours. I'll explain on the way. Cut him loose." Harrington ordered.
"What does this mean for my SERE training though?" Clay asked, as Big Chef went and removed his binds.
"We can work that out later." Harrington promised.
"You ok to walk?" Big Chef asked.
"Ya." Clay said with a small nod of thanks.
Clay stood up making sure to go slow so the room wouldn't spin on him. He was sore and hurting, but he was used to dealing with pain. Clay followed Harrington out of the house and over to his truck. He got in and once Harrington was driving he spoke.
"Sir, what is going on?"
"I received a call from the hospital, a woman came in with an apparent overdose. She was also eight months pregnant. She didn't make it, but the baby girl did. From what the doctors told me, she is very sick and they are unsure if she is going to make it. They immediately ran her DNA and it came back as a match to Ash and yourself."
"She's mine?" Clay asked shocked. He always wore protection when he was with a woman.
"No, Ash's. Your DNA is in the military database and when a hospital runs DNA they check every database. They haven't been able to get ahold of Ash or the mother's family. They need someone that is a blood relative there to make medical decisions. It's why this couldn't wait. I'll take you to base so you can clean up and get dressed before you head over there."
Clay didn't know what he was feeling right now. He was relieved she wasn't his kid, but at the same time, her being his half-sister didn't make this less complicated. Clay kenw for a fact that Ash wouldn't want anything to do with the baby. He had no interest in being a father at all or a good person for that matter. Clay had no idea what to do about any of this. He was exhausted and up until a few minutes ago all he wanted was to pass SERE training so he could go to sleep. Now it was looking like that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. He also couldn't help but wonder what this would do to his DEVGRU qualifications. Would he fail Green Team and have to start all over again? Would he even be allowed to start again? Did Ash really just cost him his dream? Everything was so up in the air and he knew he should be more focused on the fact that there was a baby out there sick and potentially dying. Still, after sixty-nine hours of being in that house, of going without sleep, being waterboarded and beaten, he felt like he had a right to be worried about his future.
"I know you are worried about being pulled out, and no that doesn't make you a bad person. I meant what I said, we can work it out. If you wish to still be in DEVGRU after all of this then I am confident I won't have any trouble being able to grant you your certificate. Focus on this situation and then keep me informed of what happens. We'll work it out Spenser. From everything I've seen from you, you're very skilled. Any team will be lucky to have you."
"Thank-you Sir."
That did ease some of his worries and fears. Still though, it did nothing to ease the questions he had about this situation. Unfortunately the only one with answers would be the doctors. Clay was hoping they would give him some and not stonewall him until Ash decided to grace them with his presence. Once at the base, they got out and Clay headed off for the showers where he could get cleaned up and then changed. He kept a spare change of clothes in his locker for Green Team. Clay got into the shower and turned the water on as hot as it could go. He was freezing and just wanted to be able to take the chill away from his body.
Clay made quick work of getting cleaned up and getting as much blood off of him as he could. Nothing was broken, he was just banged up. That was the point, they couldn't actually do anything dangerous with them. Clay knew some people would give in, especially once the water torture started, but to Clay it was nothing he wasn't used to. He spent ten years in hell, this was nothing. Once he was cleaned, Clay got out and dried off real quick before getting dressed. He only had his uniform so he was hoping it would field any questions about his current state. He knew he would have a black eye and some bruising on his face. He also could do with a trim of his beard, but there was no time for that. Whatever was going on with the baby couldn't wait. Clay made his way to his car and headed off for the hospital.
Clay tried to call Ash along the way, not that he really wanted to but he could put his feelings aside when he had to. He didn't think Ash would answer, but figured he might if it was his number and not a private one. Not surprisingly Ash didn't answer and Clay didn't bother with leaving a message. The hospital would have already. Chances were he wasn't going to show up and Clay was going to have to play the lying game once again. He was very good at it, ever since he got out of his personal hell at fourteen he had been lying about how he ended up there. Was sent to live with his loving grandparents, but he was kidnapped before they showed. Then back in the US, his father was very loving and dedicated to serving his country. No he had no idea his son was stuck in some human trafficking ring for ten years. He was a great service man and a supportive father. All of it was lies, ones Clay had told just to avoid more personal questions being asked. It was easier to lie than tell people the actual truth about his childhood. The truth that haunted him to this day.
Clay knew it was a terrible thought, but for a second it did slip into his mind about how this little baby girl might be better off not making it. To have no mother and a father like Ash, she was in for a hard life. He knew Ash wouldn't raise her, he would give her up to whoever wanted her. He wouldn't care what they did for a living or how good of a person they were. All he cared about was being able to live his life without any responsibilities. He wanted to be famous and he didn't care who he hurt in the process. Most parents would be loving towards their children. Most would do whatever they could to make sure their child was safe and loved. Ash was the type of person that should have been castrated after he hit puberty. Clay arrived at the hospital and parked in the first spot he could find. He headed into the ER entrance, unsure of where the baby would be or where he was supposed to go. He figured the mom came in this way so they might have a better idea of where he needed to go.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for a patient. A pregnant woman came in with an OD, the baby is sick." Clay said to the nurse at the front desk.
"Baby Spenser?" The nurse asked.
"Ah ya I guess. You were trying to get a hold of my father Ash."
"The doctor has been trying to get a hold of your father. Were you able to?"
"No, he travels a lot so he might be on a plane. Where is she?" Clay asked, far more interested in the baby right now then Ash.
"Follow me."
The nurse got up and Clay had a feeling she wasn't happy that he wasn't Ash, but there was nothing he could do about that right now. Clay followed the nurse through the ER, up an elevator to the fifth floor then down a few more hallways until he reached the NICU. Clay quickly discovered how depressing this area in the hospital was. Walking by the wall of glass and only sick babies in incubators could be seen. Clay couldn't help but wonder if all the childish decorations were for the children or the nurses to give them something to look at and smile.
"Sarah, this is Baby Spenser's half-brother." The nurse said to another nurse in pink scrubs.
"Hi Clay Spenser." Clay added.
"Thanks Nancy." Sarah said warmly, before Nancy headed back to her own post downstairs. "Don't suppose you know where your father is Soldier?" Sarah asked, as she came around the desk.
"No I don't. And it's sailor." Clay said with a smirk. He was hoping a little charm could go a long way here.
"My mistake. Dr. Richards is Baby Spenser's doctor. He was called in when her mother was pronounced dead downstairs. Baby was still moving inside of her, an emergency c-section was performed by the trauma doc and Dr. Richards was called down."
"And she was eight months along?" Clay asked.
"Thirty-three weeks based on the baby's development. Honestly, it was a miracle she even made it that far. Tox screen showed that her mother, Beth, had been using the whole time. Heroin, and this time it was laced with fentanyl. She was gone by the time they rushed her into the ER. The paramedics knew enough to do CPR to push the blood and oxygen from Beth into the baby. It bought them the time we needed to get her out." Sarah explained as they walked into the clean area for the NICU. "You need to wash your hands, and then put on the gown."
Clay followed Sarah's lead in how to clean his hands properly and then he got the yellow gown thrown on over his clothes.
"How big is she? She must be addicted right?" Clay asked, as they made their way through the sea of sick babies.
"Most fetus' at thirty-three weeks are just over four pounds and about seventeen inches. She is twelve inches long and just under two pounds. She's going through withdrawals and is very sick." Sarah said, as they arrived at Baby Spenser's incubator.
Clay looked down at her and instantly his heart broke at the sight. She was tiny, Clay had seen kittens the size of her. It was hard to believe she was even alive. She had a tube down her throat connected to a ventilator. She had wires and other tubes going in and out of her all over her body. Her skin was almost see through it was so thin. Clay knew he was told she was alive and probably wouldn't make it, but looking at her, he had no idea how she was still alive. How could someone do this to their own child? Clay knew from his military evaluation when he enlisted that he didn't have anything underdeveloped. His mother was a heroin user, but it seemed like she stayed clean long enough to give birth. It wasn't a sure thing, but based on no lingering side effects, Clay was confident he could say he wasn't born addicted. Apparently this little girl's mother didn't care enough to even try to stay sober.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what any of this does for her or what it means for her." Clay said, as he tried to take it all in. The problem was, there were so many monitors and tubes it was hard to keep up.
"The vent is breathing for her. We also have an IV going in to get fluid and some drugs to help her through the withdrawals. She has a feeding tube that is giving her nutrients as well as a catheter. The bracelet is monitoring her pulse and oxygen levels and the electrodes are monitoring her heart. Dr. Richards will discuss with you more in depth everything that is going on with her."
"When will he be in?"
"I'm going to page him and let him know you are here. He'll probably be by within ten minutes. I'm going to go do that if you are ok here." Sarah asked gently. She knew this was overwhelming to see at first.
"Ya, no I'm fine. I can't touch her I'm assuming." The incubator was completely covered and there were no holes for someone to reach in like some of the other incubators.
"No, she has to stay in. It's keeping her warm. I'll go and let Dr. Richards know you are here." Sarah said.
Clay gave a nod as he was left alone with the baby. He sat down in the chair next to the incubator, his body was sore and exhausted from everything within the past three days. He had no idea what was going to happen now, but he was at least here and she wouldn't be alone. Clay had often wondered growing up if he would die alone, tossed into some shallow grave to be forgotten about. He wasn't afraid of dying, it was the fact he would be all alone for it. It was still one of his biggest fears. He couldn't do anything for this little one, but he could be here so she knew she wasn't alone. He could give her that comfort.
It was almost ten minutes later when Dr. Richards approached Clay. He could see the concern on the doctor's face as he took in Clay's appearance, not that Clay could blame him. He saw the same look from Sarah and Nancy. There wasn't anything he could do about that though.
"Clay Spenser?" Dr. Richards asked.
"Yes, Sir." Clay said, as he stood. He did his best to make sure he didn't move the wrong way to hurt his banged up ribs.
"Are you ok?" Dr. Richards asked, concerned as he looked Clay up and down.
"I'm fine. I was pulled out of SERE training."
"Did someone check you over before you came here?"
"No, I'm fine really. How is she?"
Dr. Richards removed his stethoscope as he spoke. "I can check you over and talk at the same time. SERE training, so how long has it been since you've slept and eaten?"
"I was held for sixty-nine hours before being pulled out. It was the middle of the day when we started so it's been about three, four days now."
"Any fire, electricity or water play?" Dr. Richards asked, as he started to listen to Clay's lungs.
"Water. But I'm fine."
Clay knew how to hold his breath under water. It wasn't his first experience with waterboarding.
"Anything feel broken?"
"Not allowed."
"I know, but it can happen. You take a punch the wrong way and it can crack a rib." Dr. Richards said, as he moved on to feel Clay's ribs.
"Nothing is broken or cracked. I'm just stiff and sore mostly. No punches to my torso, only some strikes with a belt or cord. Took a few hits to my face, but I'm not dizzy and no headache."
"Good, let me know if any of this hurts. As for Baby Spenser, she is very sick as I am sure you can see. She is dealing with more than just the heroin withdrawals." Dr. Richards started as he moved on to check Clay's head and neck.
"Her size I'm assuming."
"I'm afraid not. The heroin use has affected her heart, she is in heart failure."
"Ok, so what does that mean, she needs surgery or a new one?" Clay asked, trying to get his mind wrapped around this.
Because her life wasn't already hard enough the world thought she needed heart failure to go with it?
"She would normally need to be placed on the transplant list to receive a new heart. She has been placed on it, but she is not at the top of the list. However, it's not that simple. She's very weak and the heroin withdrawals are not helping to get her strong enough to survive the surgery. Not to mention if the transplant committee agrees to giving her a heart, she could be on the transplant list for months before one comes up. With her current stats, she won't make three days. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, you didn't do this to her. You're doing everything you can to help her. What are her odds?" Clay asked, doing his best to squash down any emotions he had right now.
"Less than five percent chance of survival. Honestly, I'm not even sure she'll make it through the night. You on the other hand will be fine after a couple of days' rest and some food into you." Dr. Richards said, as he moved back.
"What happens with her now? Who makes the decisions for her?"
"It would go to your father, but with him not here it can be placed on you or we can call social services and they will assign her a worker. It's up to you if you wish to be here with her or to have them handle things."
"No, no I'll be here. She doesn't deserve to have some stranger with a hundred other cases looking out for her. She doesn't deserve to become just another number in the system." Clay wasn't going to let that happen, there was no way in hell was he going to let that happen to her. She didn't deserve that. She didn't know him, maybe didn't even know he was here with her, but he was not going to let her die alone with some person who won't even remember her.
"That's your choice and as her only biological relative present, it's on you what happens next. We can keep going and doing everything we can for her and see if she improves. Or we can stop her treatments and take her off the vent and let her go." Dr. Richards said, gently.
"Let her go? You mean let her die?" Clay asked, shocked. How was that even an option?
"It's not an easy decision, but sometimes as doctors we have to make the decision on when it's time to say enough is enough. She's getting weaker by the minute, she can barely breathe on her own. Her body is starting to show signs of shutting down. She has too much heroin within her system and it is killing her slowly. I'm not saying you should stop treatment, I'm just letting you know your options and what she is going through." Dr. Richards said, gently. This was not a conversation he ever wished to have with any of his patients.
"Is she in pain?" Clay asked, sadly.
"We have her on pain medication so she's asleep, she doesn't feel anything. And if you do choose to remove her from the vent, we will keep her asleep so she won't even know what is happening. With no longer being hooked up to the vent within an hour or so her heart will stop. This is not a choice you have to make right away. You can take some time, try and get a hold of your father again. I'll be back in an hour to check in." Dr. Richards said.
Clay just gave a nod and Dr. Richards headed out. Clay's knees gave out and he fell down into the chair. He couldn't believe this. How the hell was he supposed to make a call like this? How could he decide if he should stop her treatment or not? He couldn't just make that decision, there was no way. Clay pulled his phone out and called Ash once again. Only to get his voicemail. Clay ended the call and looked down at his phone. He needed to call someone, he needed someone, anyone, to talk this out with. The problem was, he didn't have anyone. Brian was gone, he didn't have family to call. He literally had no one. Clay ran through the contacts that he had in his phone and stopped on Adam's. Him and Adam had built a version of friendship after Brian's death, at least Clay thought they did. If nothing else, Adam had a daughter, he was a father. He would be able to give him some insight into what to do for her. Someone he could talk to that was a parent. Clay hit Adam's name and placed the phone against his ear.
A dread filled his stomach when the ringing continued. Finally after almost going to voicemail Adam answered.
"Spenser, your ass is supposed to still be in SERE training. You better be dying for you to have tapped out." Adam instantly said. He had money on Clay being the biggest pain in the ass out of that class. The only one dumb enough to bet against Clay was Jefferson and that was only because he figured Clay would fall asleep in that cage even with the music blaring.
"Captain Harrington pulled me out about an hour ago. Said there was a family emergency that it couldn't wait. I'm at the hospital, I don't know what to do. I'm sorry for calling, it's just I don't have anyone to call and I don't know what to do."
The slight panic in Clay's voice was putting Adam on edge. Clay never panicked, he was always calm and collected. He analysed everything and could see through the bullshit. Adam had said it before, the kid could see the matrix and he was going to go down as one of the greats.
"First thing you need to do is take a slow deep breath kiddo. It'll be ok we can figure it out." Adam said, calmly.
Clay didn't even realise how shook he was until he heard Adam's voice. He did what Adam said and took a few slow breaths. He focused on his sniper training to get his breathing and the shaking of his body under control. After a moment Clay spoke.
"Sorry."
"You don't have anything to apologise for kiddo. What hospital are you in?"
"General."
"Ok, where in the General?" Adam asked, keeping his voice calm.
"NICU."
That confused Adam, but it also made sense why Clay would be so panicked. A sick child had a way of destroying even the strongest of men.
"I'm on my way and we will work it out. Just sit tight kiddo."
"Ok." Clay said with a shaky breath.
Clay ended the call and took a few more shaky breaths. Adam was on his way and together they could work the problem. That's always what they were taught, to work the problem. This was one problem he wouldn't have to work at alone at least. Clay sat back and kept his eyes on the baby, he vaguely thought he should give her a name so he doesn't keep calling her baby or Baby Spenser. At the same time though, once you name something you grow attached to it. Like naming a stray dog. You start to care for that dog and then it gets killed and you are left heartbroken. Clay didn't want to name her, not when he would be losing her. It was going to be hard enough watching her slowly die, he didn't need to get emotionally invested into her. It would be better if he stayed neutral and didn't get attached, kept a distance from her.
It was roughly twenty minutes later when Adam walked over to Clay. He was also wearing a yellow gown to ensure there were no germs that he brought in. Adam looked into the incubator for a second before turning his attention to Clay.
"Hey kiddo, how are you holding up?"
"An hour ago I was almost through SERE training. I was three hours away from achieving my dream. And now I'm sitting in a sea of sick and dying babies being put in charge of my half-sister's medical decisions. And you know what my thoughts keep going back to?" Clay started, and Adam grabbed a chair and brought it back over to them so he could sit in front of Clay as he continued. "That I would rather be there right now still getting waterboarded. What kind of person does that make me? That I would rather be getting tortured then sitting here safe?"
Adam let out a small breath before he reached over and placed his hand on Clay's knee. "It makes you a good man, because you would rather be getting hurt then her being here. SERE training is important to ensure Seals can handle the scenario where they could be tortured, but it also doesn't cover part of what could happen if you were captured. The emotional pain of seeing someone else being tortured. Most people are able to handle the physical torture, and those same men have cracked when someone else is tortured in front of them. There's nothing wrong with you kiddo, you're a good man just like the rest of us."
Clay still looked tortured and haunted. Clay wasn't in that house anymore, but he was still going through SERE training by sitting here. He was suffering from mental and emotional torture, something none of the other cadets would be going through.
"Big Chef, on his first tour in DEVGRU on Charlie an op went bad and he was captured." Adam started.
Clay's head snapped up, he had no idea that Big Chef had been captured. You couldn't even tell he had gone through anything like that.
"Now if you ask him, he'll tell you he wasn't there all that long. But he was gone for a month. It took Charlie that long to finally track him down. He says a month is nothing compared to how long some of the other captives had been there. They tortured him right away, burned him, waterboarded him, electrocuted him, cut him up real bad, broke over a dozen bones. He went through hell and he never broke. We were talking about it a few years ago when he first started helping out with SERE training. He said not once in the month that he was captured did he ever even think about breaking. After two weeks they brought in another captive and tortured him for days in front of him. Big Chef said it was the only time he wanted to give in and talk. That he finally gave them his last name and rank. Even the strongest men can endure endless torture for months on end and break when the emotional and mental torture starts. If Big Chef were here, he would tell you that it's natural for you to wish you weren't having to endure this level of pain. It doesn't make you weak kiddo, it makes you a good man."
Clay gave a small nod with a very small warm smile of thanks. "I don't know what to do." Clay said, sounding lost.
"Walk me through it." Adam said with patience.
Clay let out a slow deep breath before he spoke. "A woman was brought in by paramedics from a heroin overdose. She died enroute, but the paramedics gave her CPR to push the blood and oxygen to the baby. When she got here, she was pronounced and an emergency c-section was done in the ER. She was thirty-three weeks pregnant, but she didn't stop using heroin so the baby was born addicted. She's under two pounds and only twelve inches long. They ran her DNA and found a match through the military database to Ash and to myself. They called Ash, but he hasn't answered or responded to their voicemails. I called him too, but got no answer. They reached out to the base to find me, Captain Harrington came and pulled me out, like I said."
"Ok, what about the mother? Do we know anything about her?" Adam asked, looking to get all of the info.
"No, just that they couldn't find any relatives. I don't know if the Doc knows more about her."
"We can always ask. What about the baby, how sick is she?" Adam asked, he was making a point in using words like "we" right now so Clay knew he wasn't alone in this.
"It's bad. She can barely breathe on her own. She's going through withdrawals and is being kept on pain meds from it. Her heart was damaged from the heroin, she's in heart failure and needs a transplant. Dr. Richards said she was on the list, but it could take months before she gets one and he said she won't make it. He doesn't think she'll make it through the next day. Because Ash isn't here and no one can seem to get him on a phone, the doc said it was up to me."
"What's up to you?"
"If I chose to keep her on the treatment or if I stop treatment and let her go. He said if I didn't want to make the decision that he could call DCFS and have a social worker come down and handle her care. I can't do that though, she doesn't deserve that. But how do I decide if I should keep letting her suffer or letting her go?"
Adam wished he could take this on from Clay. It wasn't something he should ever have to go through. To be the one to decide if it was time to throw in the towel on an infant's life, it was heartbreaking. This was something that would stay with Clay for the rest of his life. Adam couldn't help but think about Hannah and how amazing he felt the day she was born. She was born perfectly healthy in a very unexciting delivery. Everything had gone perfectly and they had never had a scare with her at all in the sixteen years she had been alive. Something Adam was eternally grateful for.
"There's a moment in every team leader's life that they dread. They have nightmares about it and if they are lucky they will never have to live the moment. But there are a handful of team leaders that do have to live the nightmare and that is when you have to make the decision to accept that one of your men will die and you can't do anything about it. That rescuing your man will only result in the rest of your team being killed. As Seals, we pride ourselves on never leaving a brother behind, but what they don't tell you is that sometimes when you go and get them, it's after you've already heard them die. Knowing that they died so you can live. This is unfortunately a decision you will have to make, but it's not one you have to make alone."
"How do I make it though?"
"We get some more info on her condition and what that will mean. Then once we have it, we have to weigh what her life will be like. If she will be in pain, if she is suffering needlessly. As hard as it is, we need to know if keeping her alive is what is best for her or just cruel to her. Why don't I get the nurse to page the Doc and we can chat with him more."
Clay just gave a nod, but Adam wasn't expecting much of anything else. Adam patted Clay's knee before he got up and made his way out. Clay let out a shaky breath, he had to admit he did feel better with Adam here. He could at least talk with him and get his thoughts in order. He didn't have to do this alone, something Clay was very grateful for. He has always had a connection with Adam. Clay didn't understand it, but he felt like he knew Adam. He was easy to talk with and he didn't judge him. Clay enjoyed being around Adam and talking with him.
Adam made his way back over to Clay and sat back down as he spoke. "He'll be here in a couple of minutes. Did you get checked out before you got here?"
"No, he checked me out though. Said I was fine, just need food and rest."
"You look like crap. How was it for you?"
Adam knew SERE training was only pretend, the guys all knew it too, but that didn't change that it could still be mentally hard on you. Knowing it's pretend doesn't always make getting tortured easier.
"It was fine. It's just another test, and I don't fail tests. Some of the guys looked like they were going to tap out though. Not sure their minds were fully prepared for it."
"That happens in every class. Some of the guys can't handle the psychological aspect of it, even though they know it's not truly real and they can easily tap out. How are you handling the mental aspect of it?"
"I'm good. I've been through worse." Clay said, and Adam could see a deep raw pain in his eyes.
Adam had no idea what Clay's childhood was like, he knew he ended up in Africa, but how he had no idea. The raw pain put a dead weight in Adam's stomach that Clay had been through something so much worse then SERE. That knowledge only ate away at his heart. Before Adam was able to get more into it, Dr. Richards walked over to them.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Richards." He said, as he held his hand out to Adam.
"Adam Seaver, I work with Clay." Adam easily took the offered hand for a quick shake.
"Sarah said you had more questions about Baby Spenser." Dr. Richards started.
"We were looking to get a better understanding of her condition and her odds. We don't want to tap out too early without giving her a chance, but at the same time we don't want her to suffer needlessly." Adam answered.
"Of course. As I've informed Clay, she is very sick. She needs the ventilator to keep her oxygen levels up, without it she wouldn't be able to survive for very long. Her heart rate is low, due to her heart failure. We are doing everything we can in terms of medications to help her heart, but with the stress from the withdrawals her body is not responding as it normally would. The added stress is putting more of a strain on her heart. If she didn't have heart failure, there would have been better odds for her being able to survive the withdrawals, even being premature. However, the combination of withdrawals, heart failure and being premature, it's unfortunately only a matter of time now."
"Her odds?" Adam asked.
"Less than five percent I'm afraid. Her body is shutting down, we're giving her pain medications so she doesn't feel the pain she is in, but she is in pain. A lot of it. Based on her stats, she won't make it through the night." Dr. Richards said gently.
Adam turned to look at Clay as he sat back down. He reached over and placed his hand in Clay's as he spoke.
"I can't tell you what to do, all I can tell you is what I would do if she was my girl. I would end her pain. I would hold her, so she knew she was loved and I would let her go. She's in a lot of pain and she's dying slowly, keeping her alive right now kiddo is cruel. It's time to let her go."
Clay knew what Adam was saying was true. This was only causing her more pain and keeping her alive to suffer was cruel to do to her. He had to let her go. Clay gave a nod before he spoke. "Ok, let her go."
Dr. Richards picked up the clipboard by her incubator as he spoke. "I just need you to sign these forms and then I will remove her from the ventilator and remove any unnecessary tubes. I'll leave her heart monitor on, when she does pass it will beep, you can turn it off by hitting this button." Dr. Richards said, pointing to the off button on the monitor before he continued. "An alert will go off at the Nurses' Desk and a nurse will come in and see you."
Clay gave a nod and took the clipboard. After reading it he signed it and handed it back to him.
"Can I hold her?" Clay asked.
"Absolutely. If you want to, you can remove the gown and your shirt and hold her against your chest. Babies love the feel of skin on skin, it brings comfort to them." Dr. Richards said, as he started to remove the tubes and wires from Baby Spenser.
Clay removed his gown and his shirt. He was willing to do whatever it took to make this easier for her. Once she was ready, Dr. Richards picked her up very carefully and handed her over to Clay. He helped to get her in the right position so her chest would be against his chest by his heart. Clay gently wrapped his arms around her, he couldn't believe how light she was. It was like she was nothing more than air. Dr. Richards then picked up a blanket and laid it overtop of them, making sure it didn't cover her head.
"For what it's worth, I'm a father myself and I would make the same call. It's the hardest one to make, but know that you are doing the right thing for her." Dr. Richards said, offering what comfort he could to Clay.
"Thanks. I appreciate everything you've done for her." Clay said, as he looked down at the little girl.
"I'll leave you alone." Dr. Richards said, before he headed out of the NICU.
"All we can do now is wait I guess right?" Clay said, to Adam.
"We can give her a name." Adam suggested.
"No, nope. You name something and you get attached, it becomes real and personal. I can't name her."
Adam could understand where Clay was coming from. He didn't know from personal experience, but he did know a few people who had lost a baby after they were born. They all said the same thing, the hardest part was naming them. It made it more real that their child was born and it being real made it more painful to say goodbye. Adam couldn't blame Clay for not wanting to name her, for wanting to save himself from some of the hurt he was already feeling. After she passes Adam would name her and let the nurse know. He would also make sure she had a proper burial. She deserved to have a grave and stone, a place where she could forever rest and people could remember her. He would do that for her, he would do that for Clay.
"There is something that I've been wanting to talk to you about. I don't know how much Ash has told you about your mom." Adam started.
"The whore." Clay simply said.
"Excuse me?" Adam asked, shocked.
"That's what he calls her, the whore. I don't even know her name, every time I've asked him about her he just says she was a whore and that's all that mattered. Once though he did mention that she was an only child, both parents were only children and they were dead, and grandparents were all dead. Said the only biological family I had was him." Clay said with a shrug.
"Do you remember anything about her?" Adam asked. He had to tell Clay the truth, he had been wanting to since the first day he saw him. But Eric had pointed out how that could make Clay distracted while in Green Team and it wasn't fair to jeopardize Clay's dream.
"Um… bits and pieces really. Mostly I just remember her using drugs and being hungry and scared. I remember seeing guys coming and going, her being beat up, there was a lot of yelling. I do remember though there was one time about a month before she died, there was a man that came over, I don't know if he was her pimp or drug dealer, or maybe just a John. But he paid her for me to watch them have sex."
"Fuck." Adam said, as he closed his eyes. He knew his sister had gotten out of hand. But he had no idea it had gotten that bad. That she would willingly risk her own child's life for her own pleasure and needs.
"After she died, Ash put me on a plane to Africa the next day, said I was going to live with her parents. That turned out to be a complete lie, that to this day Ash will deny he had anything to do with what actually happened. Even though they bragged about how he knew. But during those ten years I was with them, I used to dream about this huge man coming to save me. Sometimes it would be my grandfather that would storm in and beat the living fuck out of them. Sometimes it would be an uncle I didn't know about. They would come in, give me a hug and take me home with them. Sometimes dreaming it up was the only thing that kept me fighting for so long." Clay said with a deep pain to his voice.
A deep pain flooded Adam's body. He wasn't sure what had happened to Clay when he was sent to live in Africa, he figured he must have been placed with a missionary. Now he was terrified, because something horrific happened to him to create that level of pain.
"What happened?" Adam asked with dread. He didn't want to know, but he had to know.
"I don't talk about it. Why are you asking about my mother?" Clay asked, changing the attention away from him.
"I don't want to upset you, but I also don't want to lie to you or keep something from you. Your mother was my kid sister."
"Wait, what?" Clay asked, snapping his attention to Adam and away from the baby.
"I didn't know you existed until I saw your name on my Green Team list. Ash had led me to believe Catherine, your mom, was getting an abortion. I wanted to tell you right away, but Eric had pointed out that it could be a distraction for you and the very last thing I wanted was to jeopardize your career. I wanted to tell you that I was your uncle kiddo right from the start. And I know this is not the time nor the place to be having this conversation. But I don't like keeping something like this from you. I don't want you to feel like you are alone, you're not. I'm here as a friend, but I'm also here as your uncle, as someone who cares about you."
Clay didn't know what to say to any of that. He didn't know what to think. He never thought he would ever have another biological family member out there. He believed Ash when he said his mother was an only child. It made sense, because he didn't remember anyone related coming around. There were no family pictures from what he could remember. He always dreamed of having an uncle, someone in his life that he could look up to and talk things out with. Someone that he could have in his corner. When he was little all he wanted was someone to protect him from the world. He didn't need that protection anymore, but part of him still wanted it, still longed for it. Finding out that he was related to Adam was weird, but at the same time it wasn't.
"What was she like?" Clay asked, after a moment. He had always wanted to learn more about the other half of his DNA.
"She was an oops." Adam said with a smirk. "I was twenty when my parents found out they were pregnant. They always wanted another child, but my mom, your grandmother, had a complicated delivery with me and her left ovary was removed. She was told it would be almost impossible for her to get pregnant again. They tried for years, but nothing ever came from it. So when they were fifty and found out she was pregnant they were shocked. They had been planning retirement soon and getting an RV to travel around the country."
"They weren't happy?" Clay assumed.
"Oh they were over the moon. My poor dad was stunned stupid for about three months, but he came around. The second they found out they were having a girl, oh man there was no stopping your grandmother. She had everything pink and white. The whole nursery was pink and white. She used to call me while she was in the baby stores going on and on about all the new toys and gadgets that they have now for kids. They did a gender reveal party and everything. Catherine had them wrapped around her finger before she was even born."
"What was she like?"
The only memories of his mother that he had were bad ones. As a kid it was hard to understand, but as an adult he knew she didn't start out that way. Something must have happened for her to get that way.
"She was a ball of sunshine. She was always smiling, always laughing. Her laugh was contagious too. Whenever I was feeling down or after a bad op, I could see her and everything was better. She was smart, very smart. You get that from her. She could do math at the age of three and she loved to read. She would always be in some makeshift fort reading a book, she would do it for hours. She could draw, she had sketch books all over the place full of drawings."
"What happened to her?" Clay couldn't imagine how a little girl like that could turn to drugs and the life that she did.
Clay also couldn't help but notice the similarities. He loved math and reading, he could draw and has spent many nights being up all night reading a book. He had spent hours drawing something just to escape the darkness of his job.
"Your grandparents," Adam was making a point in calling them that so Clay could get used to them being related. "They were killed in a car crash when she was four. I took on the responsibility of raising her. I could have let her go into the foster system, but I couldn't do that to her. I took her on and the challenge of being a Seal and raising a child. At the time Victoria and me had been together for three years and she was very good about it. She became like a mother to her. It was hard, but we made it work and Vic made sure I never gave up on my dream to be in DEVGRU. She started acting out around fifteen, I didn't think too much of it. I figured it was just normal teenage problems. We were working through it. Ash and Eric were in Alpha with me, we were thick as thieves. So when they offered to help me with her, to talk with her and even pick her up from school when I couldn't, I didn't think anything of it. When she was sixteen when I was on tour she ran away. Police reports were filed, but the police didn't have much interest in investigating because of her age. We looked everywhere. All of the guys in Alpha and the other teams were searching the whole city for her, we never found her."
"But Ash did?"
"He did. He never told us, kept it a secret. He knew where she was and he kept moving her so we couldn't find her. When she was eighteen he told us that she was pregnant with his kid. That led to obvious questions. That was when I found out he had been sleeping with her since she was fifteen, that he had given her heroin and money for her to keep using. He told us that he demanded for her to have an abortion and that she was. I almost killed him, Eric stopped me before I did. I demanded to know where she was, but when I got there she was gone. I always suspected he called her to warn her. For the next four years I tried to find her, but when I did she was dead. The police had called to inform me of her death. I asked about a child, but they said there wasn't one. I figured she must have gone through with the abortion. I can't tell you how happy I was to see your name on that piece of paper. To actually see you for the first time. You look so much like her. You remind me of her so much. The way you think, that is all your mother." Adam said with a warm smile.
Clay didn't know how to feel about any of this. It was all so weird and unexpected. This whole day was weird and unexpected. He needed to be able to process all of this, but right now all he could focus on was the little baby girl in his arms. After not saying anything for a few moments Adam spoke.
"You ok kiddo?"
Clay let out a long breath before he spoke. "It's been a lot today. I just need time to process everything."
"Take all the time you need. Just know that I'm always going to be here for you." Adam said warmly.
Clay gave a small nod, but he kept quiet. His mind was overflowing with information from today. He was still trying to wrap his head around having a half-sister, now he has an uncle to go with it. It was a lot and he needed time to sort his thoughts and feelings out. They sat there in silence for the next hour. Clay had been switching between looking down at the baby on his chest and at her monitors. It was roughly seventy-five minutes later when Clay broke the silence.
"Adam, the monitor."
Adam turned to look at the monitor and was expecting to see her heart rate dropping too low. He wasn't expecting to see what he did.
"She's improving." He said stunned.
"How?" Clay asked, stunned as well.
"She's not done fighting. I'm gonna go get the nurse."
Clay looked down at Baby Spenser as Adam headed off. He gently moved his hand up and down her back as he spoke. "If you're gonna fight, then I'll fight with you. I won't give up if you don't."
Clay couldn't believe she was getting stronger, she wanted to live. If she wanted to live, he would fight to the death for her. He could feel a piece of his heart being stolen by her. Adam came back in with Sarah and Sarah gave him a warm smile as she looked at the monitor.
"Her stats keep going up." Clay said.
"They are. She pulled a Joey." Sarah said warmly, she was very happy about this.
"A Joey?" Adam asked, confused.
"Are you ok, if I give her some oxygen? I paged Dr. Richards, he'll be here in a few moments." Sarah asked Clay.
"Ya, do whatever you need." Clay easily agreed.
Sarah spoke as she picked up the small oxygen mask and got it on Baby Spenser as she spoke. "To answer your question, a Joey is what we call it when a baby suddenly takes a turn for the better. Babies are very resilient, they can come back from almost anything. However, when we know they won't make it we will let the parents, normally the mother, hold their baby skin to skin against their chest. It brings comfort to them both. Sometimes the Joey miracle happens, the baby defies all odds and gets better. We call it the Joey miracle because when a baby kangaroo is born, the mamma automatically keeps him in her pouch to keep him warm and feeling safe. The Joey thrives in his mamma's pouch. Every now and then we get a miracle here in the NICU where one of our little Joeys completely turn around."
"You're saying by me holding her, she's getting better?" Clay asked, surprised by how something so simple was doing so much.
"Sometimes that's all it takes. Hearing your heartbeat and feeling the heat from your body, brings a strength and comfort to them. Doctors can't explain it, some babies just turn a corner even when everything is pointing towards them not making it."
Dr. Richards walked over to them and he gave them a warm smile as he took in Baby Spenser's stats.
"She's a little fighter this one. Her stats are coming up. Seems like you have another decision to make Mr. Spenser. We can continue course and let nature take its course or we can restart treatment for her."
"Restart it. She's fighting to live, we have to fight with her. Do whatever you gotta do." Clay said with a strength to his voice.
Dr. Richards gave a warm smile. "I was hoping you would say that. We're going to keep her on you, but Sarah, let's get the NG tube back in and her IV as well. Let's also get a heating blanket over them to keep her body temperature up. I want checks every thirty minutes. I'm going to talk to the transplant committee, let's get this girl a heart."
"Right away Doctor." Sarah said with a smile. She hated when they lost one, and this little girl seemed adamant about not leaving them.
Dr. Richards headed out and both Adam and Clay could see he was a man on a mission. Clay didn't know if it would be possible for Baby Spenser to get a heart, but he was happy to see that Dr. Richards was determined to fight as hard as he could for her.
"Can there be food or drinks in here?" Adam asked.
"Of course. The cafeteria is on the third floor." Sarah answered as she got to work on getting the items she needed out.
"I'm gonna grab us some coffee and you need food. I'll be right back." Adam said to Clay.
Clay gave a nod as Sarah picked up Baby Spenser and placed her back into the incubator so she could work. "That chair right there, you can switch it for the one you have. That one will be more comfortable and it reclines so you can sit back with her easier."
Clay gave a nod and got up to move the chair. He was stiff from sitting for so long, so he was looking forward to being able to recline back at least. It took a good twenty minutes before Clay was back sitting down, reclined now, with Baby Spenser curled up on his chest. They had a heating blanket over top of them and Clay had access to the controls in case he got too hot. It did feel nice against his cold skin and sore body. Baby Spenser was back asleep with an oxygen mask on her and a few tubes, but Clay wasn't too bothered by it, it meant she was still alive and fighting. Clay had no idea what he was going to do with her. If she did in fact pull through all of this, he didn't know what would become of her. Would she go into foster care and be loved or would she be neglected and abused? Clay knew what it was like to be stuck in a foster home, to be just another face in the crowd. Would anyone want her with being sick and having health problems? Clay wanted her to have a bright and good life, but could he spend all this time with her, watching her get stronger only to walk away? Clay had no idea what he was going to do, but he didn't have to figure it out now.
Adam walked back in with a couple of sandwiches and drinks for them. Adam handed Clay a sandwich and a water bottle before he sat down.
"Thanks."
"No problem. I'm sure you want coffee, but you need water in you. How is she doing?"
"Sleeping. I can't believe she's still fighting."
"She doesn't want to die. All we can do is help her keep fighting and fight alongside her until she tells us she can't anymore. I called Vic to let her know where we were, she said if you need anything don't hesitate to call."
"I appreciate it."
Adam sat back and they ate their food in silence, both not needing to fill the silence with pointless small talk. It was a couple hours later when Clay's eyes were starting to fall and he was struggling with staying awake.
"Close your eyes and get some sleep kiddo. She's alright." Adam said.
"What if something happens?" Clay asked, worried that he would miss something important.
"I'll wake you up. I'm not going anywhere. Rest, you need it just as much as she does."
Clay knew he needed sleep and if Adam was determined to stay here, he would take full advantage of that. Clay gave a nod and he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, allowing the sleep he desperately needed to consume him.
XXX
The past forty-eight hours had been brutal on Clay. It was a constant unknown of what was going to happen with Baby Spenser. He had no idea if any given moment would be her last. She continued to struggle to live, but she was fighting. Dr. Richards had said it was to be expected because of her heart failure. It was hard to improve when her heart was only getting worse. He did say her heroin levels were going down finally, so they were moving in the right direction in that sense. Clay had been in the hospital the whole time. Adam had left only long enough to grab Clay a change of clothes from his room on base or to get changed himself. He was a constant pillar of support for Clay. Clay had said he didn't need to stick around, but Adam was determined to not let Clay go through this alone. Something Clay was honestly very appreciative of. He wasn't sure he could do this alone.
It was just after ten in the morning when Dr. Richards came in wearing a very big smile.
"What's going on?" Clay asked.
"Call just came in, there's a heart on the way over here."
"She's getting a heart? You said it could take months though." Clay said shocked.
Dr. Richards had been able to fight for Baby Spenser and was able to get her at the top of the transplant list. Still though, they were told not to get their hopes up, that it could take months for a heart to come in and she didn't have months.
"We got lucky. A couple gave birth to a healthy baby, but the baby was born with a birth defect that didn't allow his brain to fully develop. He passed away from brain death, they were willing to donate his organs so his death could have some meaning, so he could save the lives of a dozen infants. The heart is perfect for Baby Spenser."
"Holy shit."
Clay couldn't believe this, she was going to get a heart. It wouldn't solve all of her problems, but if she wasn't slowly dying from heart failure, she just had to worry about the withdrawals and getting through them. If she pulled through the surgery, she could actually live.
"What happens now?" Adam asked.
"Once we have Clay's permission, we will move her down to pre-op to get ready for the transplant. The surgery takes roughly six to eight hours to be completed. Once the heart is in she will then go into post-op and then back up here. We will keep her on a ventilator and sedated until the pain level can be better managed. We also have to make sure her heart is beating strong enough to work her lungs. The ventilator will allow her lungs to take a bit of a rest while she is recovering. If all goes well, she will be able to leave in a month. She will have to come back every few days for check ups to make sure her heart is going strong and nothing comes up, but a lot of children do remarkably well. She will also need to take anti-rejection medication for the rest of her life. That comes with their own problems, but it's not something we need to get into right now. There will be a social worker from DCFS that will be coming by as well to speak with you. We haven't been able to reach your father, so the worker will need to speak with you about him and what Baby Spenser's situation will be like once she can leave."
"Like foster care?" Clay asked.
"That would have to be something you speak with the worker about. I'm not sure what the situation will be. I know from my own personal experience, they would prefer for her to go to family. If that is not an option, then she would go into foster care. Not something that needs to be worked out just yet. She has a long road to go still. If you agree to the heart transplant, I just need you to fill out this paperwork." Dr. Richards said, as he held up a clip board.
"Ya of course, do the surgery." Clay said, as he held his hand out for the clip board.
"Sarah will be in for her in a moment to take her down to pre-op. You can wait in the waiting room up on the fifth floor."
"Thank-you Dr. Richards. We know you did everything you could to get her to the top of that list. We appreciate it so much." Adam said, on their behalf.
"It's my pleasure. I'll be in there with the transplant team as well. I am her cardiologist so I will be in her life until she is eighteen." Dr. Richards said, as Sarah walked over to them.
"The room upstairs is ready Dr. Richards." Sarah said.
"Thank-you. I will keep you both updated as the surgery progresses. Do not worry though if you don't hear from us for a while, that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. No news is good news in this case."
Clay and Adam both gave a nod as Dr. Richards headed out and Sarah took Baby Spenser from Clay and placed her back into the incubator. Once Sarah was ready they all headed out and followed Sarah up to the fifth floor. Clay and Adam had to say goodbye to Baby Spenser as Sarah took her to pre-op for her new heart. Clay ran his hand through his hair as he spoke.
"I can't believe she's getting a heart."
"I know. You might have to give in and actually give her a name soon." Adam said with a teasing smirk.
Over the past two days he had seen the love Clay felt for her. He knew if she died he would already be devastated and heartbroken. Not naming her was just Clay's way of trying to keep some semblance of distance from her.
"I can't keep her." Clay said, sadly.
"You already made the decision to keep her kiddo. It's logistics that have to get worked out. Are they complicated, yes, but you are not the only single parent within the forces. Plenty of single dads working active duty. They all make it work, and they are not a genius like you."
"I don't know."
Clay honestly had no idea what to do about any of this. He wanted her to be happy and loved, he knew that much. He just couldn't see how him being in DEVGRU and raising a sick baby would ever be possible.
"It's not something you have to figure out right now." Adam said; he didn't want to add stress to Clay at this moment.
Clay gave a nod and they both went and sat down, they had a long wait ahead of them. It was about three hours later when the one person in the world walked into the waiting room that Clay never thought he would see. Clay got up and made his way over to Ash, Adam wanted to go over there, but he knew it would only make Ash act like an even bigger asshole. He would let Clay handle this for now, and he would be finding out from Clay what was said.
"What are you doing here?" Clay asked.
"I landed in JFK to fifty voicemails about how I have a sick daughter. What are you doing here?"
"I was called and pulled out when they couldn't get a hold of you. She's in surgery now for her heart transplant. Doctors weren't sure she would make it long enough, but she fought, she's a little fighter. I'm sure the nurse can go and let Dr. Richards know you're here. You'll need to talk to him."
"If he needs me he'll find me. You been here the whole time?"
"Ya, where else would I be?"
"Anywhere but standing around here waiting for some worthless brat to finally kick it."
"She's not worthless, she's a fighter and your daughter, my half-sister. Of course I'm here and rooting for her. If you didn't care, then why show up?"
"I can't have people thinking I have a daughter who is sick and I wasn't here. Besides, I need confirmation that she is going to leave after this surgery. She's not worth anything to me dead." Ash said, as he looked around to make sure they were alone.
"What are you talking about?" Clay asked, feeling himself getting pissed off.
"Same missionary I sold you to is always looking for American babies, she's a girl so she'll net me half a million. They'll be able to sell her for close to a million if she keeps her blonde hair and blue eyes."
"You're, you're unbelievable. You know what happened to me over there and you would turn around and do it again?"
Clay couldn't believe this, he just couldn't. To begin with he had always suspected that Ash had sold him to someone in Africa, but he never had confirmation, now he did. But that Ash would do it all over again, knowing what could happen to her when she was a little bit older. There was no telling the trauma she would experience over there and Ash was acting like he was being inconvenienced.
"What happened to you was your own fault, it had nothing to do with me. I already met with DCFS and squared things away with them so they won't be a problem. Now I just need the brat to live."
"I'll take her." Clay said, before he even had time to think it through. All he knew was he couldn't let her go to Africa. He couldn't let her experience what he had.
"Oh you'll take her? You have half million dollars laying around?"
"Seriously? You're going to charge me to raise her?" Clay asked, shocked, though at this point he didn't know why he would be.
"Why would I lose that much money just to give her to you for free? If you want her, then you have to pay what they are going to pay me for her. I'll let you pay it in installments even. A thousand dollars every month and you get to keep her. Once the five hundred thousand is paid off I will sign over my rights and custody of her to you. But know, that until you have legal custody of her, you can't claim her on your insurance for any medical expenses. So all of this will have to come out of your own pocket. Is she really worth the money? Think about it, she's only going to be making you lose money, she's a bad investment."
"Children aren't the stock market, they are human beings. You can't honestly think it's ok to just treat your own children this way."
"Clay, children do nothing for you. They are a weakness, love is a weakness. I thought you were smarter than that, but apparently not. Yes or no to taking the brat?" Ash said, completely done with this conversation. He didn't want to spend any more time then he had to here.
Clay had no idea how he was even going to figure any of this out. He didn't exactly have the type of job that paid well. He could survive each month and put some into savings, but he didn't have anything that would cover medical bills like this. The problem was, saying no meant she would be given over to people who wouldn't care if she received the proper medical treatment. They wouldn't care who bought her and what would happen to her. He couldn't do that to her. Not after she had fought so hard for these past couple of days.
"Fine, but you stay out of her life. You're no one to her." Clay answered.
"Fine by me. I expect the first payment in two weeks at the end of the month. Every month on the thirtieth I expect my money, you pay it late or miss a single one and I'll have you arrested for kidnapping. Do I make myself clear?" Ash said, with an edge to his voice.
"Ya."
Ash didn't say anything else, he just simply turned and walked away. Clay let out a sigh, he had no idea what he was going to do now, but he would have to figure it out. He made his way back towards Adam and sat down.
"I see that went well." Adam commented.
"He didn't even come here to see her, just felt obligated to protect his reputation. He already met with the social worker and cleared that up. Apparently he was out of the country and that is why he didn't get any of the calls."
"You don't believe him." Adam stated.
"Of course I don't. His phone always works no matter what country he's in. He wanted her to die, but now that she might actually live he's already got a missionary in Africa, the same one he sold me to, looking to pay half a million for her." Clay said disgusted.
"Are you fucking kidding me? She can't be in Africa, she needs to stay here with her doctors, with modern medicine." Adam said, pissed off now.
"I told him I would take her. I can't let him sell her to the same people he sold me to. I can't do that to her." Clay said with a deep pain to his voice.
"What do you mean he sold you?" Adam asked, with an eerily calm voice.
"I always suspected it, he just confirmed it. My so-called grandparents were never the ones that were supposed to meet me at the airport. I don't know who was or why they didn't show, but he sold me to a missionary over there. I can't let that happen to her, I won't."
"Fucking asshole." Adam said, he closed his eyes and tried to take a few calming breaths. He was beyond pissed off at Ash. He knew that Adam and Vic would have taken Clay in, they would have figured it out. Instead he handed him over to the highest bidder without any thought or regard for his own safety.
"We won't let it happen to her. We can figure this out together. We'll take it one day at a time." Adam promised.
"I know. I really appreciate you being here for me and her the past couple of days." Clay said sincerely.
"We're family kiddo, it's what you do. I'll always be there for you and for her." Adam promised with a warm smile.
Clay gave one back in return before he sat back in the chair. He had a whole shit load of things he needed to figure out, but right now he needed to keep good thoughts and just pray his little sister would come out of surgery alive and with a new strength to keep fighting.
XXX
It was a good nine hours later when Adam and Clay were finally allowed back into the NICU to see Baby Spenser. She had pulled through the surgery without any complications. They couldn't see her when she was in recovery but now that she was back into her incubator they were allowed to see her. Dr. Richards had gone into detail about the surgery and what the recovery process would look like for her, but he was optimistic that with her heart working properly now her body would start to make a turn for the better. Within the next two weeks her body will be done going through the withdrawals and then she would truly have turned a corner. He had said it was ok for them to be optimistic and hopeful.
Clay and Adam walked back over to her incubator and Clay couldn't help the smile at seeing her. She was still hooked up to lots of wires and tubes, including the ventilator again, but she did look better. She wasn't as pale as she had been and her heartbeat was a lot stronger. Clay felt some of that weight being lifted off his chest at just getting his eyes on her. Clay looked down at the name tag on the incubator and he pulled the little card out that said Baby Spenser. Clay pulled out a pen he had with him and turned the card over to the blank side. He filled it out and then placed it back into its place. Adam couldn't help but smile.
"It's beautiful."
"I think so. It means warrior, I couldn't think of a more suiting name for her."
"It's a perfect name." Adam said warmly, as he placed a hand on Clay's shoulders.
They both knew they had a long road to go, but they were going to get there together. The journey was only just beginning, but Clay knew in his heart it was the right journey for him and he wasn't going to regret it.
Alexis Rose Spenser
Born: September 12, 2017
Weight: 1LB 14 Ounces
Height: 12 Inches