It was indeed a short ride to the schoolhouse, no more than fifteen minutes, but the night came swiftly in Gotham Hollow, and it was already dark by the time Crane could spy his new home in the distance. He could hear his horse quickening its pace, even though he had given it no such command, and now tugged slightly on the reins to slow it down. The horse did not slow down, however, but only increased its pace, until Crane looked down and realized that his horse was trotting along with the same gait it had been using for the past ten minutes. The galloping pace he was hearing was coming from somewhere else…somewhere behind him…
He turned and saw a horseman, dressed all in black, racing along the dark road and heading straight for him. As he came closer, Crane could see that the man riding the dark horse was tall and broad, wearing a black cape that spread about him like wings…and headless.
Fear clutched at Crane's heart even as he tried to doubt the evidence of his eyes, blaming it on the darkness, a trick of the light, some blending of the shadows. But as the horseman came closer, it was clear that Crane was not hallucinating – the figure had no head on his shoulders. And as he drew a sword with a bat-shaped handle that hung from his side, Crane's terror suddenly kicked into a fight or flight response. He slammed his heels into his horse, startling it into a gallop down the road. He flew past the schoolhouse, fleeing desperately from the horseman he could sense was hot on his heels. He couldn't tell if he was imagining the phantom horse's breath upon his neck, and didn't dare look behind him to check. His reason desperately tried to assert itself amid the panic, to think of some way out of his horrific situation, but the blind, aimless terror allowed no reason to penetrate.
He saw what looked like a covered bridge up ahead, and J's words came back to him suddenly: Had to ride hard to get to the bridge across Gotham Brook, but once you cross that, his power ends.
Crane's heart leapt in sudden hope – he spurred his horse onward, desperately trying to outrun the galloping steed behind him. If he could just make it to the bridge…
Suddenly, his horse reared up, throwing him off its back. Just before Crane hit the ground, he saw that the horse had thrown a shoe. The animal bolted, racing off into the forest, and Crane had a moment of grim amusement realizing that he was going to die because of bad luck, by his horse losing an object that was thought to bring good luck. The irony would have been wonderful if it hadn't resulted in his death.
He looked up to see the horseman standing over him, Bat-sword drawn. He scrambled to his feet and tried to run, but the horse bounded in front of him easily, blocking his path. Crane was now frozen in terror, and could only stare in horror at the headless rider as he raised his sword and prepared to bring it down upon his neck…
Suddenly, a gunshot rang out, and the sword was knocked out of the Headless Batman's hand by a musket ball. This was followed by a whistle behind them. "Batty! Hey, Batty!" shouted a familiar voice. "Over here! You don't want that ugly, old head – why not try for a devilishly handsome one like yours truly?"
Crane turned to see J mounted on a horse behind them, smiling at the Headless Batman and holding a smoking musket. The Headless Batman turned his horse, galloping over to fetch his fallen sword, and then turned back to face J. As much as he could face him without a face anyway.
"That's it, Batsy, c'mon," wheedled J, raising his gun again. "C'mon, come to Daddy J. What is it now, Round 1949? You wanna declare me a winner yet or what?"
The Headless Batman rode toward J, sword raised. "Strong, silent type as always. But then I guess you couldn't respond even if you wanted to, not having a head and all. I like that!" chuckled J, firing the gun again. Crane watched as the bullet hit the Headless Batman directly in the chest. He faltered slightly, but kept coming. Crane watched in disbelief as J started whistling again, calmly reloading his musket with gunpowder as the Headless Batman bore down on him.
"Anyway, I'll have to cut and run tonight – nothing personal," J continued. "We'll do this again tomorrow night, huh? Try not to miss me too much until then."
He dumped some more gunpowder into his hand and suddenly blew it into the horse's face. The animal reared, thrashing and flailing, as the Headless Batman tried to regain control of it. J galloped his own horse past him, reaching out a hand to Crane and saying, "Come with me if you want to live!"
Crane seized his hand for dear life, literally. J pulled him up onto the horse and then kicked his heels in, heading for the bridge. Crane glanced behind them to see the Headless Batman back in control of his horse and in hot pursuit.
"We're not going to make it!" gasped Crane.
"Oh ye of little faith!" chuckled J. "Fifty bucks says we do, you gonna take it?"
Crane didn't respond, shutting his eyes tightly as the Headless Batman reached them just as they reached the bridge. His horse suddenly reared back, bringing his sword back just out of reach of Crane's head. He could feel the hairs on his neck quivering as the blade hissed past them. He opened his eyes and turned to see the Headless Batman stuck on the other side of the bridge, and even though the man had no head, Crane could sense the fury of his eyes glaring at them with burning hatred.
"You owe me fifty bucks," said J, reining in his horse on the other side.
Crane said nothing, slipping off the animal's back and collapsing onto the ground. His whole body was still shaking in terror, and he was afraid he might throw up. He felt J's hand on his shoulder. "You need a drink," he announced. "And seeing as how I just saved your life, you're buying."
"Yes…thank you," stammered Crane. "Although I don't understand why…you'd risk your life for mine."
"I fight that loser all the time," said J, nodding toward the bridge. "He thinks he's so big, so high and mighty to make everyone in Gotham hide away in fear from him. I like to prove him wrong. Anyway, I figured this way you were sure to keep the secret about me and Harley, since you owe me big for saving you. I mean, the secret would also be safe if you had been killed, but where would be the fun in that after you've only just arrived? And I wanted to see the look on your face when you realized you were wrong about the Headless Batman being nonsense. The horror and confusion as your rational worldview is shattered and your mind breaks completely is really worth dying to see, and it's just as hilarious as I thought it would be!" he chuckled, smiling at Crane.
"You're…insane," stammered Crane.
"Insanely brave, yes I am," agreed J. "Also insanely handsome. And insanely thirsty – let's get that drink!" he exclaimed, striding over to the nearby tavern.
"J, how nice to see you again," said the innkeeper, not even looking up from his work as they entered.
"How does he know it's you?" asked Crane.
"Nobody else ever comes here after dark," retorted J. "They're all afraid to venture outside. Fortunately Mr. Cobblepot lives just upstairs, so he comes down in the evenings to open up just for me, earns a few bucks from the drinks I buy, and then heads back to bed. He doesn't even bother getting dressed properly, as you can see," he added, gesturing at the short, fat man behind the bar who was wearing a nightshirt and stocking cap.
"Oh, a stranger," said Cobblepot, noticing Crane. "That's surprising. We don't get many strangers here, and never any visitors."
"This is Mr. Crane, the new schoolteacher," explained J. "He just had a run in with a certain headless apparition who shall remain nameless, so he'll need a double shot of whiskey."
"Must have had a close shave!" laughed Cobblepot, pouring a glass. "If you'll forgive the pun, Mr. Crane. One must have a certain sense of gallows humor living here."
Crane managed a nod, taking the glass from him and downing it in one gulp. "Careful drinking like that – you'll be seeing a lot more than Headless Batmans!" chuckled J, as Cobblepot handed him his drink.
"How…how can it possibly be real?" gasped Crane. "It doesn't make sense…how can a thing without a head ride a horse, or move at all?!"
"Things don't have to make sense for them to be true," retorted J. "You'd think as a smart guy, you'd know that."
"You…you shot him straight through the heart…and it did nothing!" exclaimed Crane.
"Yeah, turns out you can't kill what's already dead," agreed J, nodding. "Believe me, I've tried everything. I've shot him, stabbed him, set him on fire, blown him up, tried to drown him, poison him, hang him, disembowel him, nothing's worked. The only limitation I've been able to find is that bridge trick – for some reason, he can't cross it. It's like how vampires can't cross running water or something…"
"What did you say?" interrupted Crane, turning to him.
"Uh…shooting, fire, disemboweling, vampires can't cross running water?" guessed J.
"Yes…yes, and although I would have doubted the existence of vampires before tonight, because it is against all the laws of nature that such creatures exist, where this belief is accepted, there is a kind of scientific knowledge about their limitations, their movements, and their destruction," murmured Crane, an idea seizing him. "And that's known because it is folklore passed down orally through the generations, with precise, proven information on how to stop and destroy those supernatural beings. The Batman was killed about twenty-five years ago, according to the story Van Tetch told me. Somebody must live in the town who was around when it happened. Somebody who might have witnessed it, who might know why the Headless Batman rides out…"
"We know why he rides out," interrupted Cobblepot. "He's looking for his head."
"How do we know that?" demanded Crane. "The Batman cannot speak, so somebody must have just assumed that's why he's haunting the Hollow. Who did these stories originate with? We need to speak to someone who remembers this when it all started. They might have information that will help us figure out how to stop him."
Cobblepot laughed scornfully. "There's no stopping a supernatural creature like that – you can't reason with a headless man! You're crazy like J if you try. You just have to learn to live with him. It's not so hard – just stay inside at night."
"It's the principle of the thing, Cobblepot," retorted J. "I resent people telling me what to do, and I resent some dead guy bullying me into staying home at night. Any free human being would bristle under such restrictions. I go where I like and do what I want, and no Bat freak is gonna stop me living my life exactly as I please."
"He will if he kills you," retorted Cobblepot. "Which he will someday. You've been lucky so far, J, but your luck is bound to run out. One evening I'll open up this bar and you won't be striding through those doors. Because your headless body will be lying on the road instead."
"Cheerful," commented J, as Cobblepot headed into the back room.
"He's right though – your random acts of violence clearly won't ever stop him for good," said Crane. "We need a solid strategy to defeat him, based on solid information."
"We?" repeated J. "Why would you help me with this? I was expecting you to leave town after this experience – you gotta be able to find a teaching job in a place that isn't stalked by a crazed headless murderer."
Crane shrugged. "I do owe you my life," he said. "That's quite a debt I have to repay, and my silence isn't enough for my honor to be satisfied. Besides, I don't think it's right that the likes of Miss Van Tetch are terrorized by such a monster. I intend to save her from him."
"And in return you want her to marry you or something?" guessed J. He laughed. "Nice try, pal, but that gal is mine. No gratitude on her part is gonna make her love you over me, but you're welcome to try to win her heart. I'm really confident you can't, but I'm also secure enough in her feelings to give you a shot at trying to woo her. And I'm looking forward to laughing as she rejects you."
"I'm confident the best man will win," retorted Crane.
"So we're gonna be allies fighting the Headless Batman, and rivals for Harley's affections," said J. He chuckled. "Sounds like a laugh riot! So first thing's first - what's your plan for stopping the Headless Batman?"
"I need to meet everyone in the village," said Crane. "I need to speak to them all, and ask them to tell me all they can about the Headless Batman. I need as much knowledge and information as possible – it's only through those weapons that evil can be defeated."
J nodded. "You're in luck – Van Tetch is having his annual Halloween party in a couple days. It's a huge blowout, and everyone in town is gonna be there. I gotta start decorating for the damn thing tomorrow, which is always a pain in the ass as Van Tetch is nothing if not elaborate in his decor. If I didn't take breaks to make out with Harley, the whole thing would be a real drag."
"Good," said Crane, ignoring that last sentence. "Someone in this town has to know something about the Headless Batman's origin. If we find out how the legend started, if we can get to the root of it and find out the truth, we can maybe figure out a way to end it. And if that truly is by finding the Batman's head, so be it. But we have to know where to look in order to find it."
"And you think someone will know where to look?" asked J. "You know, there were even fewer people living here during the war, for obvious reasons. And after being here for the war, I think most of them probably left. Any sane person would."
Crane reached across the bar for the bottle of whiskey and poured himself another glass, murmuring, "Well, we just have to hope that the residents of Gotham are mostly insane."