Steve had been warned multiple times about his new charge. His boss Rumlow had lectured him for no less than sixteen hours over the last several days about everything that was okay to do and say around him, and especially everything that wasn't. His charge's guardian (and essential father), the King-Regent Alexander Pierce, had spent the last two hours doing much the same before he decided that Steve was an acceptable caretaker.
They had warned him about a lot. About how fragile his charge's mental state, and to a lesser extent his physical state, were. About how his charge was very childlike and didn't handle making decisions for himself well. About the numerous topics, actions, events, and even foods or drinks that could upset him and send him into a panic attack or make him disassociate. But the one thing no one had warned him about was how damn handsome the uncrowned king James Buchanan Barnes is.
The prince's blue eyes were crystal clear and vibrant (which Steve didn't expect after everything he'd been told). His skin was clear and soft; he obviously didn't get much sun but had a light natural tan. His brown hair was neatly styled, longer on the top than the sides and just long enough he had to push it back with elegant fingers when it fell in his face. He was seated almost delicately in a comfortable looking window seat in soft black clothes, a blanket around his shoulders, and a book resting on his legs.
James had sat up straight as soon as the door to the room opened and his expression lit up when he saw Pierce. The expression looked warm and made James go from handsome to gorgeous. Pierce left Steve standing in at the door in a daze, stunned from the smile, and moved over to James. "Being good?" Pierce asked and James nodded.
"Yes." He said and Steve realized, in a small way, what Rumlow and Pierce had been talking about. There was something childlike about his answer. About the adorative stare he was giving Pierce that was a bit odd coming from someone over twenty five, but Steve didn't think some of the terms Rumlow had used (like "borderline invalid") were accurate. James seemed fully aware of himself and what was going on.
Pierce ran a hand through James's hair and the man nuzzled against the touch like a cat. "Your hair is getting long again. We'll have to get it cut soon." Pierce commented and while Steve caught a flicker of a frown on James's face by the time Pierce looked he was smiling and nodding happily.
"Can you stay?" James asked and the tone actually broke Steve's heart a little bit. He sounded so excited and eager at the prospect.
"Not today, James." The disappointment in James's expression actually hurt. "But there is someone I want you to meet. He's going to be with you all the time from now on and he's going to take care of you while I can't." Pierce said. James' eyes flicked over to Steve briefly before they returned to Pierce. He looked almost frightened and Pierce gave him a firm look before he gripped James' chin. "I know you don't like new people, James, but I worry about you being here by yourself all day. If he really does upset you we'll find someone else, but will you try for me?" Pierce asked.
Slowly James nodded before he tipped his head down, looking towards the floor in a way that felt way too submissive for a man who was supposed to be king. Pierce looked satisfied though and ran a hand through James's hair again before he looked at Steve. Steve took his cue and stepped closer until he was standing next to Pierce.
"James, this is Steve Rogers. He's one of Brock's guards so you can trust him. He'll be your companion and bodyguard." Pierce said and slowly James looked up to meet his eyes. He offered Steve a flash of a smile and Steve offered him one back.
"It's very nice to meet you, James." He greeted and for a brief moment James's expression flickered with distaste, quickly enough Steve wondered if it was real, before his smile returned.
"Nice to meet you too." James answered quietly. Pierce smiled and nodded.
"James, I have to go now." Pierce said and James frowned. He opened his mouth and then closed it and nodded. Pierce smiled at that and once again stroked his hair before he stood up. "Be good." Pierce warned before he left.
Steve didn't miss James's flinch at those words, but hesitated to bring it up. James shifted in his seat, obviously uncomfortable with him there, before he pulled his legs into his chest. "You can sit if you want." He offered softly.
Steve took it for the olive branch it was, smiled, and took the offered seat carefully so he didn't jostle the slightly smaller man. James was watching him, head still bowed, but quickly looked away every time he met Steve's eyes. This went on for a while before Steve finally, once it became clear the James wasn't about to pick up his book again, spoke. "So, James, I've been told a lot about you, but I'd like to hear about you from you."
James paused then looked at him more directly. James didn't seem upset, more like he was just waiting. His expression was almost passive. "What do you want to know?" He asked softly.
"Whatever you'd like to tell me. Your favorite color, favorite book, favorite song. What kind of schedule you keep and what things you like to do throughout the day." Steve offered. James looked a little overwhelmed and fumbled for a moment before he spoke.
"Um… I don't have any favorites. I wake up at ten, bathe and eat by eleven, lessons are 11:30 to four with a half hour break at 2:30. Afterwards, I stay in my room, or if the weather is nice sometimes Pierce lets me go to the garden, until seven. That's when we have dinner. And then I have to be in bed by ten." James almost recited and Steve couldn't help how wide his eyes got.
He would never have expected James to know his schedule so well, let alone be able to recite it by heart like that. There were a few other things that James had said that concerned him, too. Because how could someone not have a favorite anything? And some of the possessive terms bothered him; Pierce shouldn't be 'letting' James do anything and James shouldn't 'have' to be in bed at a certain time. The way he said it even made Steve think James thought he'd be punished for missing his bedtime.
But now wasn't the time to bring it up. "Well, that makes planning my schedule easy at least. There was one thing Lord Pierce and Rumlow never mentioned when they were telling me about this... arrangement. Am I supposed to stay overnight with you?" Steve asked. He wasn't sure if he wanted the answer to be yes or no.
'No' would be so much easier. He would be so much less likely to become attached (he ignored the part of him that said he already was) and this could stay just his job. But 'yes'… 'yes' might mean he could figure out what was wrong with James and Pierce's relationship. 'Yes' would mean he could spend more time with the gorgeous man seated so close to him. And 'yes' all but guaranteed he'd become attached.
"I don't know." Of all the answers he could have gotten 'I don't know' was unexpected and possibly the worst. Not that he blamed James for it. "You'll have to ask Lord Pierce." James offered softly and that's when Steve realized the brunet had shrunk in on himself. It was defensive and fearful and suddenly Steve didn't care if he was spending the night or not. He wanted to know what had made James so easily frightened, take care of it, and then protect James from anything that might frighten him like this again.
"Alright." Steve agreed and James seemed confused by the sudden acceptance.
They fell into another awkward silence and finally James mumbled "What are your favorites?" Steve almost missed it he said it so quietly.
"My favorites? Well, my favorite color is red. I haven't done enough reading to have a favorite book because I prefer to draw. And I love pretty much any piano music." Steve answered. James was looking at him curiously.
"I can play piano." He finally said softly.
"Really? I'd love to hear you play sometime." Steve said with a warm smile and James nodded. Steve paused because James didn't look excited by the idea like Steve thought he would. "You don't have to if you don't want to." He added quickly, because he didn't want to upset the prince already.
But that just got him another confused look. "But you want me to." James stated and Steve nodded slowly because something about the way he said it made Steve uncomfortable.
"I would enjoy it if you did, certainly, but I'm not going to ask you to do something you don't like or want to." Steve assured. Except, James still seemed confused. He had looked away, towards the floor, and tugged his knees in as he thought.
As the time stretched on without James saying anything... Or moving… or even really blinking Steve started to get worried. He'd been told about James's occasional disassociations. According to Rumlow, James would just disappear into his head for long periods of time and become almost totally unresponsive. This was looking like one such episode.
Gently Steve reached out and touched his hand. "James? Still with me?" He asked as soothingly as he could. There was no reaction and Steve gave his hand a little squeeze. "Come on, James, talk to me. What's on your mind?" He encouraged.
The squeeze seemed to help pull him back and James blinked a few times before looking at Steve. "I don't have to do something I don't want to?" He asked softly, almost in a whisper, with an absolutely terrified expression on his face. Steve's heart sank at that because it all but confirmed his suspicions. James wasn't actually disabled or mentally unstable; he'd been manipulated into this state of dependence by someone.
"No, you don't, James. There may be times when you do, and it never hurts to listen with an open mind when someone has an honest objection or concern about something, but you have every right to say no to something you don't want to do." Steve assured him.
James swallowed hard and even as he held his legs tightly Steve could see his body starting to tremble. "I won't get punished?" He whispered and Steve shook his head.
"No, and if anyone tries to hurt you I'll do everything I can to protect you. I swear." Steve promised and he meant it.
James studied his face and then slowly he started moving. Steve stayed still while James crawled into his lap and clutched his shirt with trembling hands. Steve slowly wrapped his arms around James's body, giving the smaller man every chance to tell him no even if he wasn't sure James understood he could, and then Steve was holding him protectively. James's breath hitched at the touch.
Steve held him for several minutes, gently running his fingers up and down James's back. James felt too thin by half through his shirt. Steve could feel the knobs of his spine. Could feel James's almost unnatural fragility; Steve was a little bit worried that he would hurt the prince if he held him too tightly. But James seemed utterly relaxed in his arms, obviously happy to be held even as he shook. Unless James asked, Steve had no intention of letting him go any time soon. Steve actually jumped a little when James spoke after a long time in the silence.
"Steve? I'm scared." He practically breathed into Steve's ear. Steve didn't think his heart could break any further until he heard James's confession, but it all but shattered at the soft words. Only for it to be put back together beating a new rhythm, one that repeated the prince's name over and over, and he knew right there that he was willing to die for the uncrowned king.