Disclaimer: I don't League of Legends. And honestly, I have no idea what I wrote.
Cassiopeia Du Couteau had forgotten the last time she was home. The Du Couteau mansion appeared old and abandoned; the once-proud building hadn't aged well within the past few years ever since her father disappeared.
That and probably because they no longer had anyone to housekeep the place.
She sighed heavily to herself, embracing the fact that she could finally take a break from the harsh desert climate of Shurima. She slithered quietly through the creaking front door, bowing her head as to not bump it against the frame. Cassiopeia flicked the door shut with her tail before taking in her childhood home.
Empty. Dark. Not dusty though, which she had expected, so maybe Kat or the brat must have taken up cleaning…
Fat chance. The odds of Darius running a charity of orphans was more likely.
The medusa threw her wide-brim hat on the closest rack, popping her suitcase down on the dresser. She shrugged off her coat, placing it neatly just below her hat; before giving a big ole stretch. Her scales creaked in satisfaction.
"I'm home," she called out pleasantly happy, though it came off more hissing and dangerously seductive.
There was no answer. Shrugging, she picked up her suitcase once more, throwing it onto the couch on her way to the kitchen. Cass would kill for a cup of hot chocolate right now.
One of the major downsides of Shuriman culture.
She came to a screeching halt as soon as she entered the kitchen, however. Cassiopeia blinked. She rubbed her eyes just to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.
Standing around the kitchen island, was a shirtless Garen. He only wore a pair of tight navy boxers and handcuffs dangling from his wrists. He yawned, politely covering his mouth, dark circles around his eye like he hadn't slept a wink. He was also silently waiting in front of the coffee machine as it boiled with absolute serenity.
It took a second or two before his eyes flickered towards her standing in the doorway. He blinked.
"Uh, good morning," he said respectfully. He gave a curt bow of his head, cheeks red at his obvious lack of clothing. "Didn't know there was… anyone else in the house."
Cassiopeia raised a questioning eyebrow at that, but not before looking him up and down slowly. She licked her lips and watched as Garen shivered under her gaze. She then proceeded to lean on one of the overhanging shelves, eyes lingered on his toned abs with no shame.
"Garen," the man introduced himself, coughing nervously and bringing his arms up to hide his body. This only led Cass to eye his biceps greedily.
"Cassiopeia. You can call me Cass though," the snake woman finally found her voice; purring at the back of her throat. "and the pleasures, all mine."
Garen coughed. He didn't say anything, reddened and feeling the heat crawl onto his face. Steam rose from his head as he bashfully turned away. As if Aurelion Sol heeded his wishes to not talk, the coffee machine started to whistle.
Forgetting the intrusion, Garen's eyes lit up and he quickly grabbed a mug engraved with the words 'Shuh Duh Fuh Cup'. Cass recognised it as her sisters.
She smirked. "So Garen huh?"
Garen cleared his throat, pouring the coffee carefully. "Yes."
"You're a soldier?"
"Y-Yes."
"You're still pretty young," not that Cass was young herself. "Such a waste if I do say so myself."
"I uh… thank you?"
"A Demacian with manners as well, you are a catch. I assume Kat already has you all to herself?"
Garen took a while to process what she said. He froze. His face goes pale as his jaw dropped.
"D-Demacian? Me?" he chuckled nervously. "No, why would I be Demacian? They're a bunch of… rule abiding, undisciplined, weirdos…"
It took all of Cassiopeia's willpower to not roll her eyes. She looked down at his navy blue boxes that clearly had the words 'I love Demacia' written over and over again. She pried her eyes away, looking back at the blushing Garen with a raised eyebrow.
"Kat… bought it as a joke."
"And you decided to wear it?"
To his credit, Garen didn't immediately panic and quickly took a sip of his coffee. "Kat… insisted?"
Cassiopeia sighed heavily, bringing her hand to her head.
And then the other kitchen door opened and Talon casually strolled in with toothbrush in mouth. He wore a white singlet and long baggy pants. His long brown hair was messy and unkempt. He too had large dark circles around his eyes as he looked longing at the coffee machine.
"Shirt?" he asked Garen, holding up one of his short-sleeved shirts.
"Yes, thank you. I appreciate it."
Talon shrugged.
Cassiopeia silently raised her eyebrow again as her adoptive brother tossed a shirt towards Garen who caught it with ease.
"What happened to your clothes?" the snake woman finally asked, crossing her arms. Not that she minded, but she kept that thought to herself.
"T-They got torn."
Talon snorted. Cassiopeia almost did, but she kept her dignity. Silently, the blushing Garen started to slip on the shirt. The chains on his wrist jangled and Cassiopeia noticed that the other end was attached to a broken wooden bed post.
Cass looked towards her brother, who in turn rolled his eyes and nodded. He mouthed inaudibly 'they weren't very quiet'.
Cassiopeia shook her head solemnly and just watched as Garen tried to wear the shirt. Only to stop halfway as the shirt… was much too small. With one of his arms stuck in a sleeve, and his head still having yet to pop up, the two siblings watched in bewilderment as Garen promptly gave up.
"Do you have a bigger shirt?"
"No."
Garen cursed.
"Language asshole," Talon muttered. If he was joking, he didn't show it on his face as he strides forward towards the coffee machine. When he saw the amount in there, he silently ticked Garen as being kind enough to make enough for more than one person — unlike a certain red-haired prick.
He poured a mug for himself. Garen finally took off the shirt and threw it aside.
"So did you find the key?" Talon asked, looking at the handcuffs.
Garen wisely chose not to respond. Cass smirked, silently wondering if he could even answer without dying of embarrassment.
As if nothing could make this situation even worse, the kitchen door opened once more and brown-haired woman poked her head around the corner. Her hair was drenched with water, and a towel was held around her chest.
"Uh Talon. Do you know where my clothes…" she finally took notice of both Garen and Cass in the room. "Are… Garen?"
"Quinn?"
Cass crossed her arms. "Great. Are both of you sleeping with Demacians? Mom would be rolling in her grave."
"This talk," Talon pointed towards Cass and him, taking a sip of his coffee. "You can literally find it in the dictionary under irony. Also, Quinn, I folded it next to the bathroom door."
Quinn nodded, before disappearing around the corner. Talon just smirked in satisfaction, finally feeling the coffee kick in. Cass just looked ticked off. "You can fold her clothes, but you can't even do your own."
"Excuse me?" Talon asked.
"Do you know how much I had to clean up after you when we were younger!" she hissed.
Talon shrugged. "Not my fault all the servants were fired."
"You are the worst!"
"I mean, if you were going to do the chores anyway, why would I do them?"
"That's because I can't stand your mess!"
"And who's fault is that?"
"Yours!"
Garen politely coughed, grabbed his cup and was about to leave. But not before Katarina Du Couteau herself walked into the kitchen in just her underwear, eyes tired and hungrily looking for the coffee machine. She paused as she looked at both her younger siblings argue. She then turned to Garen whose eyes basically begged her to do something. Just the way she liked them.
She shrugged and gave an apologetic smile before grabbing coffee. "Couldn't find the key, sorry."
Garen blinked. Then understanding. Then turned red. "I uh. Is there another way to get these cuffs off?"
Katarina thought for a second. "I don't know, I kinda like them on."
"I don't."
"That's not what you said last night."
Garen turned away, red in the face. Katarina appeared nonchalant, but she enjoyed it. She turned back to her siblings, raising an eyebrow.
"Both of you, shut the hell up. You're being too loud."
Both Talon and Cass stopped. They then simultaneously turned and glared at the eldest sister of the Du Couteau family. Garen swallowed, then looked towards Katarina's completely serene face.
"Yes? Something to say?" she taunted, raising an eyebrow before taking another sip of her coffee. "We can take this outside if you want. I promise not to break anything important."
This caused both Talon and Cass to back down, though they went back to glaring at each other. Katarina could live with that. Garen took another sip of his coffee.
"So Talon has been sleeping with a Demacian girl," Cass suddenly piped up. "How did that happen?"
Katarina looked surprised at this, turning to face Talon. "Mom would be turning in her grave you know."
"The hell you call this then?" Talon pointed an accusing finger at Garen.
Katarina shrugged. "Casual with benefits. Speaking of which, Garen actually has a prior commitment to his country that won't be named—"
"Demacia," both Talon and Cass said.
"I'm not confirming or denying that," Kat shrugged. "Come on, we'll find that key eventually Garen."
The morning had already been in utter chaos. So far nothing too embarrassing had happened. But when Jarvan the Fourth, crown prince and leader of Demacia walked into the room with a unicorn onesie with a key he randomly found in the guest room he borrowed that night; it was safe to say that the day had just gotten a lot weirder.