For USE's 24 hour fic jam! I admit it took more time than I would've liked with this, but editing is a whole other beast compared to writing.
The prompt this month was bells, and be very glad I didn't have the motivation to write an EC Youtuber AU.
Full disclosure, I don't know how to write crack or any type of humor, and it's been ages since I've written anything fluffy so enjoy this hot mess.
FFN Note: This fic was originally posted on AO3 where I post all my fics first and foremost and everything else is an afterthought, so go check that out as well. Also check out of Evillious tag over on this website, it could use a lot of love. I should eventually just post all my other EC-ficlets in there so if you're interested check it out!
-x-
I wake up to the sound of shouting, which Levia damn it it's six in the fucking morning on the eve of my wedding, so would you bastards keep it the fuck down! Of course, I don't say that, as I know exactly who is arguing at this hour, so I deign to snuggle back to my beautiful wife-to-be when I am greeted by hair that is a shade too purple.
"Move your hand lower Adam, and that hand will never feel anything again."
Fuck shit.
I calmly extract my hand from wherever it was going and actually look up at the bastard on the bed. Yup, it's definitely a bastard.
"This is all just a bad dream," I say out loud. "I'd dreaming right now and I'm going to wake up next to my loving wife in time for the wedding and forget this horrible nightmare." I close my eyes and take a deep breath, waiting for sleep to overtake me. I count sheep slowly in my head as time passes.
I open an eye cautiously.
Gammon still stares at me with a look of disappointment.
For Levia's sake why can't I catch a break.
As I consider hyperventilating and letting the Gods (you've always liked Levia better, but that's the scientist in you) to do what they will, another pair of arms wrap around me. I freeze at the contact.
"Adam, come back to bed," Eve murmurs.
I almost scream. Okay maybe I did, but I swear it was only like a small yelp.
I hear rustling from behind me – presumably Eve – as she snuggles against me, trying to bring me back under the covers. I glance over at Gammon, who is unnaturally pale. Gammon tiptoes out of the bed and out of the room as quiet as a mouse.
I very specifically do not notice that he was naked.
In order to purge my memory of the last few minutes, I decide to snuggle up against Eve before she hogs all the cold blankets and ignore the sinking feeling in my chest.
There's no way this'll come back to bite me, right?
-x-
When me and Eve finally decide to get out of bed, still ignoring what happened last night (or maybe she was also drunk enough to forget that we added someone to our bed last night), we have to deal with…family.
I would ask that Levia would save us from this nightmare, but considering she's already downing her third bottle of alcohol I'm not sure how much help she's going to be.
"Adam!" That would be Mother – Irina. She looks good in that dress. I still can't reconcile the fact that her smile is one of happiness and not her usual one that causes general destruction and suffering.
"Nice to see you awake and moving about." Thank you Pale? Kiril? Milky is on your lap, but Elluka is leaning on your side for support, so I have no idea who you are exactly.
"Cheers to your marriage, kid." To be honest I don't know what's more striking, the fact that Behemo is technically my grandfather, or the fact that Behemo is in a suit.
"Dipshit." Fuck you Seth.
Levia just drinks another shot from the bottle when she sees me. I don't blame her.
I wave a hand at the bunch, and hope that the argument (it's always either Levia and Behemo, Elluka and Irina, or god forbid Seth and one of his clones) didn't end with any one being killed. Again.
Not for the first time I send a silent thank you to Held and Sickle.
I was about to silently slip away when Irina accosts me and drags me back to make small talk. Damn it.
I try to give a winning smile, but considering the people – family – I'm with, I don't think I can be blamed for being a bit nervous. It feels like a bad joke, really. Two gods, a mask, a cat, two magic users and one of Seth's clones walk into a bar.
"So, how you are feeling about the wedding," Irina asks, deciding to go straight to the point, a happy smile on her face. My heart pounds in anticipation.
Elluka shoots her a look, and Irina just lies back in her chair, content to swirl the liquid around in her wine glass. I always worry whenever these two are put into contact with one another. Thankfully this period has therapists, so fights in general have lessened between everyone.
Of course, Irina set the last three buildings and therapists she went to on fire, so maybe I should be a little more worried.
Thankfully though, she seems to be cordial enough for people (a very long list that includes Eve as well) to not immediately want to deck her on sight, so I'm at least slightly reassured we can come out of today without anyone dying.
"Feeling alright, I guess," I say, mulling over it a bit. Seth laughs. "That's a very Adam answer," he remarks, nursing a cup of Mountain Dew. I exhale at him with as much annoyance as I can muster.
I'm unsure how I plan to make my escape before Behemo or Seth or Irina herself decides to drag me along for more small talk when I notice that Gammon has entered the room. Please Gammon! If we had ever anything between us you will save me from this cruel hell!
Gammon takes one look at me, then walks back out.
I wail audibly. Then strike a pose, one knee touching the floor and a hand in the purplet's direction, heavily exaggerated. "I have been betrayed! Cast aside by my blood brother and left to rot on the stage of malice and murder. Woe is me!"
I then use that window while everyone is laughing to make my escape, jumping through the window. I land on my feet and spend the next minute running as far as I can from the group.
Seth jabs Levia with his shoulder. "Adam jumped out the window to escape from us, isn't that hilarious." She snorts.
"God, why don't they just fuck already," Levia says.
-x-
After I had made my escape with nary a few scratches, I decide to not try to find Gammon and attempt to find out what had happened last night and instead check up on Eve. It took some guessing, but I managed to find the room she was staying in before the wedding itself was to be held.
I walk in and see the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Then I realize it's Venomania in a dress and regret my life choices. Eve is sitting on one of the chairs, a picture of purity and poise as Riliane and Kayo adjust her makeup and hair.
I feel like my heart's about to burst out of my chest when I see Eve smile at me, and I know that despite our past history, that this, our bond, our connection to each other is something that will always stand as testament to our love. It's my wedding today, I can get as sappy as I want. As I was about to say something profound Venomania ushers me out of the room, saying that it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.
"Don't worry honey! We'll see each other in a bit," Eve yells out. I laugh a bit at that, deciding to bide my time until the wedding starts. Woe and behold, I see Gammon in the hallway, giving me his trademark thousand-yard stare.
There's a part of me that wants to know how he ended up in our bed last night, but with the way he's acting and avoiding me, I'm not sure if I'm even going to try to make him open up again. I decide to take a page out of his book and walk away.
I would, at least, if I didn't trip and fall.
I hiss at the contact with the floor, and Gammon is there (oh now you're here) to help me up. His face scrunches with an emotion I can't recognize, and I was about to say something when I hear someone approaching from the corner. I shove Gammon and myself in one of those broom closets in a panic.
I can't tell that he wants to say something, but I shush him as the footsteps grow louder before I hear a door being opened then closed as the person walking goes inside. I almost breathe a sigh of relief, my hand already turning the knob when I realize the knob refuses to move.
My heart sinks as I try to rattle the knob, a bit panicked at the thought of being trapped in a closet with guy I had sex with next to my soon to be wife a few hours before the wedding. I regret my life choices intensely.
"Why the fuck did you push us in here you ass," he whispers as loud as he can. He elbows me in the ribs as we both try to maneuver so that we aren't that close. The room is already starting to get a bit warm as we're both in formal wear and moving a lot. I try to take a calming breath, already deciding not to use my phone to call someone to get us out of here because I'd never live it down.
"I panicked okay," I respond, trying to clamp down on my annoyance. God, he's a bastard. But the good kind, at least. I try to get a better angle to maybe break the knob so we can escape, but that just brings me closer to him, and the whole room is small enough that our backs are touching the wall.
I start to panic even more at the enclosed space, and I decide to turn over to inspect the handle. Of course, this means that he's essentially holding me as I try to get both of us out of here, which makes for a bit of an awkward situation, but I try not to think about it.
"Do you at least want to talk about what happened while we're stuck in here," Gammon says, feeling struck by the silence and this awkwardness in the air.
I clear my throat. It makes me feel better when I do that when I say something I might regret later. "There's nothing to say," I state with as much conviction I have in a tiny room with the guy I had sex with a few hours ago next to my soon to be wife. "It was a one-night stand and we were all drunk. Forget it ever happened."
Silence.
"I hear alcohol removes some of your inhibitions," he says conversationally, which is the opposite if subtle. Gammon is many things, but he is not a subtle man – he showed that in bed last night – stop bad Adam focus on the door.
"Gammon, I really don't care at the moment. I'm trying to get us out of here before someone finds us and we won't be able to live this down."
He's silent again as I try my best to fiddle with the lock mechanism. That part goes there, insert that here and that should open the lock. I try to open the door.
Predictably, it refuses to open.
I'm about to say fuck it and call someone to bring us out of here, when Gammon suddenly moves. I'm about to ask why the fuck did he do that because I need him to keep me steady when I notice a something soft on my lips.
It takes me a solid thirty seconds to realize that they're Gammon's lips. And now he's staring at me with an intensity that I've never seen on his face before. It's staring into one of those Levianta marble statues, his eyes are hard and focused on me in a way that makes me fidget as I feel exposed under his gaze.
I try my best to ignore the feeling in my chest as I laugh, slowly. "Gammon, that's a pretty funny joke you pulled on me there. You must still be really drunk, huh."
I regret my words a second later when he gives me the most pained look I've ever seen on his face. I bite my lip and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," I say, and I really fucking mean it, because out of everyone that came to the Fourth Period, there isn't anyone who I've been able to bond with more than Gammon (and Eve, of course but that needs no explanation). We went through Court End together, and there are bits of us that were intimately shredded because of it.
We put ourselves back together. It was hard work, but the four of us managed to drag ourselves back into reality.
I don't want to lose him.
In the stark silence there is a veritable tension in the air, as if the next words spoken will seal our fates in ink and paper and leave them burned as the ashes of that decision blow around us.
I shatter the silence like glass. "We – We can talk about this later, okay?"
He gives me a look, one of desperation and a small fragile hope like the flame of a candle. I don't want to smother that hope. "Okay," he says quietly.
I try the door again. It opens.
Of course I was turning it the wrong way – stupid.
We exited the room, and Gammon immediately runs the fuck away from me. I exhale, a hand on my forehead as I rub my temple. Today just got a lot more complicated. I sighed, walked in the direction opposite Gammon ran off to, and considered my options.
Unbeknownst to me, the wallpaper flickered slightly, and Seth's form could now be seen. He smiles, one hand already on the phone that he'll use to tell Levia all about this.
-x-
Almost everything after that encounter went decently well, all things considered.
I met with Held to help with the wedding venue and get through the order of which everything would be happening – weddings are hard enough without going through an emotional crisis – but everything seemed to be running smoothly.
I spend the next few hours trying to look my best, and I thankfully had a change of clothes and a shower before the wedding ceremony and before I knew it, it was time for everything to begin.
I was nervous, because this day meant so much to me and Eve and my own emotional state shouldn't hold me back. Take a deep breath Adam, everything's going to be fine. I stood at the altar trying my best not to look at the designated priest and look at the crowd. I waved occasionally, and the lights dimmed as I saw Eve escorted by Raiou.
(I try not to think about the argument that Irina and Raiou had a few days before the ceremony.)
Eve was beautiful. Her pure white dress only complemented her natural beauty, and her twintails were set down – a rarity for her in general. She slowly got up to the altar, also trying her best not to look at the priest but looking intently at me.
I could spend my life with this woman, I knew, and I did, a long time ago. There was so much between us then, so much of our lives ruined by forces outside of our control and we struggled against the world so hard we eventually broke it.
I want to have the freedom I dreamt of with her. I made a decision when we first got to this world that I would do my best to keep her happy, even if she rightly hated me. The fact that she didn't humbles me to this day, and I am endlessly thankful for her.
I smile, and brought my hand out to her. She accepted, and we embraced one last time before we were to be wed, yet again.
"Are you ready for your vows," Ma asks, an uncharacteristic smile on her face that still doesn't put me at ease.
I know Eve is trying her best here, but I can tell she's keeping everything bottled up for later. Preferably in bed, but that's just my preference.
We both recite our vows, and I'm so happy, just so undeniably happy that it feels like nothing could ruin this moment. I could live a thousand lives and never forget her, the happiness I feel right now, and how much I love, I could love, I will love her.
I love you Eve.
And then the moment is ruined.
"Speak now or forever hold your peace," Ma says, as we both still refuse to look at her.
"WAIT!"
Gammon.
"Adam. Eve. I can't let this marriage go through."
Gammon. What are you doing.
"I'm so sorry, but I'm in love with both of you."
Gammon. You are making a scene. Oh god, we're never going to live this down. He's tearing up now, his tears streaming freely from his face.
I look to Eve for a spot of reassurance, and her grip on my hand is reassuring in its weight. "Eve – I," I splutter, but the words don't come.
Eve, bless her, is unperturbed. "Then marry us," she yells, as if it's so simple, and maybe it is.
The three of us went through hell together, and we obviously care deeply about each other, so why can't we make this work? I nod to Gammon, and he the look on his face is something bright and shining.
I watch as he dries his tears and steps with us, our hands open for his, still not looking in Ma's general direction. I can see the happiness reflected in his face, an emotion I don't think I've seen in Gammon often, and I know that Eve and I made the right choice. I squeeze Eve's hand gently and she plants a kiss on my forehead.
She smiles at Gammon, before kissing him on the forehead as well.
There are doubts, of course. But I know that he's sincere in his declaration, I can tell that much. I will remember this moment forever, as the three of us lock hands and remake our vows to each other, and to ourselves. There's eternity ahead of us. I'm glad that I don't have to face it alone.
We kiss, the three of us, and as the applause comes from the crowd and Eve throws the bouquet into it, my eyes focus on something near the front.
Levia throws her glass of wine in Seth's face, and her next words make my face heat up with embarrassment.
"Ha! I fucking won that bet you BITCH! Gimme the pot!"
Of course.
-x-
I still don't know how to write crack.
EDIT: I just noticed in post that there's no mention of bells, so assume there's wedding bells around by the time the three get married. I wrote an entire fic with the prompt about bells and never actually mentioned the bells at all. I bamboozled myself there.