I'm almost convinced I am dreaming again. Sadly I know I'm not. What I am sure of is that Delalieu is on the verge of having a stroke.
At least I'm in between them. The two of us are on the sofa while my father is in the armchair. I have been given a plate with a bagel. There is also a tray with the promised fig biscuits on the coffee table.
"We barely had any time to talk last time", Father remarks as one of his guards pour coffee for the two of them.
"So, have you started thinking of retiring yet?", he continues as he picks up his cup while Delalieu gives the guard a nod when he offers him cream.
I had imagined Delalieu would be discomforted by the idea of retiring. After all, he has stuck around for so long. But, to my surprise Delalieu ponders the question in contemplation rather than fear of answering incorrectly.
"Unless the next Commander wishes to have me s-stay I do agree that perhaps it is the most na-natural way to p-proceed..."
"That's good, because I might need some assistance over the foreseeable future", father says.
This time a shiver of dread sweeps through Delalieu. Still, he is able to keep a mask of conversational calm. As much as one can with my father in the proximity.
"Oh!", he says, sounding as if he might be pleasantly surprised; but is also hearing the news that he may live another day by the mercy of his son-in-law.
"Perhaps we can find you a little house by some nice lake somewhere", father muses.
Delalieu hums, entertaining the idea.
"Good luck finding one that isn't contaminated", I perk up.
When I was eleven that would have earned me a slap. Now all my father does is to scoff a little too enthusiastically before saying:
"Eat your bagels, cheeky boy." Then he reaches over the table and takes a biscuit from the tray. Delalieu does the same. Seeing that I am the only one not masticating I oblige and start eating my bagel.
"But about the foreseeable future", my father says as he wipes his hands on his slacks, despite not having any crumbles on them, and leans forward.
"I have a surprise for you", he says in a voice bordering on sing-songed. It takes me a moment too long that he's talking to me.
A feel anticipation match my own in Delalieu. A surprise from my father could entail anything between a spontaneous play date on the other side of the globe to a box containing a live scorpion. Or inside the new set of shoes I would have been foolish enough to be excited about.
Father smiles then, suddenly excited to see my reaction. His eyes linger on me for a few seconds as if trying to capture the moment I find out whatever he's about to tell me.
"You're going to be a big brother!"
I am momentarily confused. First thing my brain concludes is that my father has found another woman now that my mother is officially dead.
It's Delalieu who triggers my memory:
He gasps.
"Paris, h-have you really?"
It's the use of his first name that flicks a switch I forgot existed. The events of the last evening in my gym surfaces in my mind; like lost objects in deep murky water as the adults continue speaking.
Something about Kent.
"Of course! I couldn't see a reason why to wait."
"Even if… ", Delalieu stops himself as he glances at me.
Father continues to say something, but I tune him out. My memory is piecing itself together.
Kent knowing my father on a first name basis.
My violent reaction to it.
Juliette intervening.
How could I forget?
"I already know that", I hear myself say.
The two of them aim their eyes at me at the same time. Father blinks, and I can't help but feel pleased at catching him off guard.
"The Kents. I know they're my half brothers", I elaborate.
Father sits back down, momentarily stunned quiet. Or, not really stunned. He's wondering how to proceed now that he doesn't have the complete upper hand.
"How long have you known?", father asks me, curious.
"The night before we announced the uprising."
"That's not very long", he concludes.
"Kent has known since the time I was kidnapped. Apparently he was rather spooked to see you. He was under the impression you were dead", I reply, the details presenting themselves as I speak.
Delalieu frowns at hearing this, but doesn't admonish the behavior of my father as a father-in-law undoubtedly would have, had the circumstances been normal. Considering his reaction he has probably been aware of the Kents relation to me before this. Which I hate to admit stings a little.
Father, on the other hand, just sighs.
"Yeah, that was a bit of a miss. I didn't expect that the Omega Pointers would allow him to join them in the field so soon", he tells me.
"But it shouldn't have been that surprising, really; considering how easily that fool Castle is to trust whatever stray that comes walking by."
"How old have you've made them?", I ask him before I lose the opportunity to ask questions. I'm at least expecting him to have done something with Kent. James on the other hand, he might have left alone.
Delalieu chokes a little on his coffee he has returned to. He obviously hadn't considered it himself.
"Aaron, let me keep something for the surprise...", Father pretends to complain.
"Speaking of which", he says and pulls up his sleeve to look at his wrist watch.
"I need to go check on Adam", he declares as he stands up.
It takes me a moment to realize he's not preparing to go very far.
"Wait, they're here?!", I say standing up as well.
"Yes", he confirms.
"And you", he adds,"...are going to stay here and keep Grandad company, and finish your bagels", he instructs me, giving my plate a once over. Delalieu doesn't even attempt to remind him that he still has duties he is supposed to perform.
When I don't immediately sit down father smiles again.
"You may come join us when I've made sure Adam isn't freaking out too much", he assures me.
"Assuming you behave until then", he adds. Then he leaves, disappearing down the corridor where the guest rooms are located.
"May I have coffee?", I ask about a minute of awkward silence between Delalieu and I.
Delalieu hesitates, but obliges. It's a small victory considering father would no doubt refuse me the adult drink.
"A-actually you might notice something about the taste", he tells me as he pours me a cup. He's obviously more relaxed now that my Father is gone.
"Your father enjoys his coffee more c-c-coarse. He has access to the full beans and can choose the level of grinding. It brings out more flavor than the ones we typically h-have in this sector…", he falters a little. Worried that I don't find this relevant.
Which it's not. But it's rare to hear Delalieu talk about anything he enjoys, so I pick up my cup and whiff it. I can't tell much difference.
"How does that affect the taste?", I wonder.
"It's supposed to become less b-bitter. Rounder if you will", he tells me, making a cupping motion with his hand.
I hum, thinking I have understood the concept. I don't have the chance to tell if it is rounder, however. Because as soon as my tastebuds register my mouth attempts to spit it back out.
It's awful!
"Sir...!", Delalieu gasps in worry. Once again slipping my title.
I look, horrified, at the bitter, black liquid. It's not so much the actual taste than the fact that the appreciation I had developed over these last few weeks: it's as if it had never been there.
"It's fine", I finally say and take the napkin he hands me.
"I'm fine", I say when he still isn't convinced.
"Would you like to try it with cream?", Delalieu asks.
"No thank you", I say, and take another sip, trying very hard not to make a face.
It doesn't take that long before one of my father's men come into the sitting room.
"The Supreme Commander have granted you permission to join him in the guest room", he tells me.
Then he looks at Delalieu.
"And you are dismissed, Lieutenant."
Delalieu bids me farewell before we both are escorted in opposite directions.
As I stand outside the other guest room door I am suddenly nervous. Seeing I had forgotten about being related to Kent the sudden reminder is making the feelings from that night repeat all over again. Last time however I wasn't sure how I would go about addressing the topic. If I ever would. Now though, our father wants to usher us together.
If only Juliette was here. She'd surely be able to assist us in communicating our feelings.
But Juliette isn't here. And I have two half brothers to protect.
I knock on the door. There is a short pause, then I hear my father's voice.
"Come in."
This guest room, unlike mine, has a small sitting area in the corner. First thing I see is a brown haired boy sitting on the small sofa next to father. It's obviously Kent. He is wearing a long sleeve shirt that covers his arms, but his army tattoos are undoubtedly gone. I can't tell how old he's supposed to be. He is smaller than me now, however, and from the small bits and pieces of info I can recall he is also smaller than James was.
Kent's head whip around, and his blue eyes go wide.
"James!", he says.
I look behind me to see if the younger Kent has somehow arrived with me, but is only more confused when I see that I am, in fact, alone in the doorway.
Then I realize it: Kent thinks I'm James.
Father has already made the connection, and chuckles.
"Not quite, Adam. That's Aaron", he tells him.
"Do sit down, son", he tells me and gestures for the bed.
Kent, Adam, is not comforted by this and he watches me as I take my seat. He frowns as he tries to understand, then his eyebrows lift in horror.
"Warner...?!"
I do not say anything, but my silence is answer enough for itself apparently.
"Where is he? Where's James?", he asks, to father this time.
When father doesn't answer immediately Kent suddenly grow restless. Panicked. He grabs father's arm, as if that would bring an answer out of him.
"Where is he?!", he repeats, his voice becoming more frantic.
"Oh, he's probably still sleeping", father ponders, unfaced by Kent's emotions.
Kent looks between father and I. Then it's as if something clicks. Kent's realization that he doesn't have the imagination to dream this up. He releases father's arm like it's a hot stove and he stands up. He looks at his hands. Flips them over a few times.
"What the…?", Kent whispers, horrified.
"Adam", Father says trying to coax him to come back. I can tell he isn't amused but he is still trying to display a visage of patience. He reaches out, and when Adam tries to back away father is faster and easily reels him in; placing him on top his knee.
Kent starts to cry as he tries to break out of the hold around his waist. Our father, though, is able to handle men three times Kent's size and isn't faced with the struggle in the least. Instead he hushes him.
"Adam, you were being so good before."
"Why… why are you doing this?", Kent asks.
"What do you want?! Please, let us go. We won't bother you, I promise. We'll go somewhere far, far away. I-I'll do anything, please." Kent is blubbering while shaking his head.
His words awake something inside me my brain. Bits and snippets I don't understand flash before my eyes. The fear of leaving my mother. Flying, blindfolded. The dim light filtering through the water of a tank. Lined up bombers ready to take off from the base. Me on my knees; my father's disgusted sneer. A gunshot in the living room while a battle rages outside.
They threaten to make me ill, and all I know is that I've already made the mistake twice.
I suddenly want to silence Kent. To stop the desperation pouring out of his mouth. Because to ask our father for a favor is to give your soul up for the taking. Your sanity. Your everything. Satan himself would have more mercy.
Father doesn't give him the benefit of a doubt, however.
"Adam", he interupts. Pulls him too close for comfort. Softens his voice in patient explanation.
He waits until he has Kent's full unguided attention; his dark blue eyes glued on Dad's face; before continuing.
"You know I can't do that", he tells him.
"Why not?", Kent asks in the smallest, most pitiful voice I've ever heard it in.
"Because you've been a very bad boy, Adam. You've been getting into all sorts of trouble, haven't you? Desertion. Hijacking a vehicle. Committing treason."
Kent's face falls. It's as if he is only now reminded of the fact that both he, and therefore James, are on the death list of the Reestablishment. As if he had forgotten…
"But don't worry, Addie", Father tells him.
"Daddy's got all of that handled."
It only seems to break Kent even more. His tears start pouring with renewed strength. A barely audible 'No no no…' escaping his lips between the hiccups.
Father hushes him, the smile still on his lips, and I watch how he (I'm unable to call it tenderly) guides Kent to rest his head on his shoulder; keeping it there with a hand running his fingers through the hair on the back of Kent's head.
"I know this isn't what you want", he assures him, in a voice pretending to be sympathetic.
"You've been such a good big brother. But Daddy's going to take such good care of you and Jamie from now on."
I just sit on the bed. I feel like an outsider who is not supposed to witness this. The way father cuddles Kent is making me feel sick. Why did you even ask me to come in here!? I want to ask. I feel like Father has just used me as a prop to trigger Kent.
But I remain where I am. Silent as father pets and coddles Kent with words that are supposed to be sweet and comforting.
I can't tell if it actually helps, with Kent blocking my ability, but after a few minutes Kent has managed to calm himself down. He sniffles and grossly wipes his nose with his sleeve before asking:
"Where is James? Is he okay?" He manages to surprise me. Because despite just having cried like a baby he forces his voice steady.
Father just smiles. He reaches out a hand and starts to card through Kent's brown hair. Kent's hair that is so much like Father's I realize.
"Addie, I would never hurt James", he says.
Kent startles at the pet name, but his resolve doesn't budge. His blue eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
Father sighs. He had obviously wanted more time between the two of them. More time to introduce me. More time to coax Kent into this sick situation.
"Promise not to throw another fit?", Father asks him.
Kent frowns a little, probably from the choice of wording, but nods.
Father sighs again, but accepts it.
"Good boy!" And Father leans in.
Perhaps I should have warned him. Poor Kent isn't prepared for this and looks as stupid as I must have done just the other night as father seals the deal with a kiss to his cheek.
It's over as soon as it happened though and Father puts Kent back on his feet before getting up himself. He flashes an excited smile at me that I immediately want to run away from.
"Let's go see our new baby, shall we?"
I realized Aaron doesn't actually do that much in this chapter, but I don't really care because I have almost the entire next chapter written out. And it has James x3