Disclaimer: I don't own The Promised Neverland

What I Gave Up

"DON!" Emma jumped after exiting the bathroom, hearing Gilda's voice coming from the kitchen.

Deciding to investigate she found multiple of her friends and siblings in the kitchen where Gilda seemed to be scolding Don on something as he rubbed the back of his head, grinning sheepishly with others looking on in amusement.

"Um? Guys?" she called out hesitantly, doing her best not to flinch when almost simultaneously everyone turned to look at her, some calling out her name.

"What are you doing in the door? Please just come in." Anna smiled sweetly to which Emma awkwardly entered.

Even if she truly believed that they were her friends and family, the fact that she didn't remember any of them made her a little shy every now and then, not wanting to intrude on anyone.

It had only been a month since she started living with them after all.

Yet she also didn't want to seem rude so she usually took them up on whatever offer they always came to spend time with her.

In the aftermath she found herself always grateful but also sad.

They all loved her and she felt so guilty knowing she didn't even know why.

"Ah... What's going on here?" she asked, forcing a smile to look more cheerful than she felt.

Gilda didn't seem to notice and huffed.

"Don over here ate more than half the cookies that we were supposed to share with everyone!" she explained as she glared at the dark skinned boy and gulped.

"I'm sorry, alright? I was just hungry!" he whined only to yelp when he got smacked on the head.

"Hush you!"

Emma couldn't help but giggle at a little.

"You seriously ate more than half of everyone's cookies? How did you even manage that?" she asked as other joined in on her laughter, making Don pout.

"Hey, it's not like you're any better!" he yelled, pointing at her.

"Huh?" Emma stopped and blinked in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" she asked because while she loved sweets and treats, she didn't wanna seem like a glutton and only ever took one or two if there was left and someone offered her.

Same went for back when she lived with the old man who took care of her for years before they found her and took her home.

"Back when we lived in Grace Field! You were always smuggling sweets all the time!" Don pointed at her and everyone else laughed.

Emma however didn't.

"I-I did?" she asked, earning nods.

"I remember back when you were eight, you, Thoma and Lannion all once stole a batch of cupcakes and ate them all! You all got sick and Mama was so mad!" Anna giggled.

"Especially when they all threw up on the floor in front of her!" Nat added to the blonde's story, snapping a finger-gun at her.

"Yeah, she was merciless that day! She made us clean everything up right away even when he felt like crap!" Lannion pouted.

"Still, those cupcakes tasted the best!" Thoma licked his lips, making everyone laugh again.

"She did know when to control herself sometimes! Back when we reached the shelter Mark wanted to eat Yuugo's cookies and Emma wouldn't let him! It almost looked like a funny dance with Emma dodging all his attempts to get them!" Gilda than said with a find smile.

"Still, Emma has always been the one taking most care of the younger kids and in the end they always ended up listening to her!"

"Yeah, sometimes they'd even listen to her better than to Mama!"

"Do you have any idea how many times I was panicking because a baby was crying and I couldn't get him or her to stop only for Emma to walk in, take that baby in her arms and make it stop right away? More than I can count and I count high!"

"Well, half of them only stopped crying because they were trying to play with her antenna! They'd love the color and how it would swing back and forth!"

Emma frowned at hearing them laugh.

Here they were all sharing happy memories together about her.

Memories she had forgotten.

It hurt to know that she shared to many special moments with all of them, yet she couldn't recall any of them.

And the worst part of it all, she thought as tears formed in her eyes, was that she had chosen to forget them.

She had apparently made some deal which had cost her all her memories of herself, who she was, her friends and her family.

"Emma?" she jumped at hearing her name being called and found many concerned gazes upon her.

"Are you alright? Why are you crying?" Anna asked worriedly and only then did Emma realize her tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"A-Ah! I'm sorry!" she gasped and tried to wipe her face but it was no use.

The more she tried to calm down the more she ended up crying.

"I-I'm sorry! I gotta go!" she forced out and with that ran out of the door, ignoring their calls for them and not even noticing how she almost knocked over Norman and Ray.

"Whoa! Emma!" "Watch were you're going!" they cried as they looked after her.

They frowned and shared a look when she didn't stop to at least apologize.

Turning to look at the group at the kitchen Ray broke the awkward silence.

"All right, spill. What just happened?" he asked and put his hands on his hips, leaving no space for argument.

"Hey, we're just as confused as you, okay! We were just talking!" Don claimed, waving his hands.

"And what exactly were you talking about?" Norman asked with a raised eyebrow, crossing his arms.

"Good things! We were just talking about some things she did in the past!"

Both young men froze at that.

They shared a quick glance before Ray growled.

"Idiots! You're all a bunch of idiots!" he yelled, earning cries of protest.

"Hey, that's not nice!" "Yeah, we did nothing wrong!" "Why do you have to be such a jerk?!"

They all stopped when Norman held up a hand.

Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose he sighed heavily before looking at them again.

"You guys... Have any of you put any thought into how Emma would feel upon hearing all kinds of things she doesn't remember?" he asked and everyone lost their angry glares as they started to realize what he was saying.

"But why would she be upset? In the end she chose to come with us so she trusts us, right?" Gilda asked to which Don nodded.

"Yeah and I know that if a friend told me about something I don't remember, I'd wanna hear all about it!" he said.

"But you're not Emma and you're not in her situation!" Ray snapped, making Don quickly shut up.

Knowing his dark-haired friend wasn't in the right state to talk without yelling and throwing insults Norman placed a hand on Ray's shoulder who relaxed a little.

"Don, Emma didn't forget just a few small moments but her whole life. That already is something huge and you must remember how Emma is. Even if she's a little different, most of her personality is still the same and knowing her she's bound to feel guilty, especially considering she knows that it was at some point her own choice." he explained and now everyone looked horrified.

Seeing this Norman sighed again before nudging Ray.

"You think you'll be able to handle these guys without killing them?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah, you go look for Emma." the dark-haired boy nodded before shoving the albino of the door.

It didn't take Norman long to find Emma outside the house, sitting under a large tree with her face buried in her knees.

He saw her shoulders shake and could faintly hear sobbing coming from her.

Slowly and carefully as to not scare her he made his way over.

"Emma?" he softly as he knelt in front of her.

He felt his heart break when she looked up at him with red teary eyes.

"N-Norman!" cried she in surprise and sat up straighter and tried to wipe her face again.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" he asked as he handed her a handkerchief.

"I-I'm fine. Just got something in my eye. That really hurts." she answered as she accepted the handkerchief and wiped her face.

Norman sighed and shook his head at that.

"You are a terrible liar, my dear. I know what happened in the kitchen." he smiled sadly, almost letting out a chuckle as she looked up at him with doe-like eyes.

They stared at each other for a while before Emma huffed.

"If you already knew the answer then why do you even ask?" she crossed her arms with a pout.

"Because I want to hear it from you." Norman answered before shifting to sit down next to her.

Emma took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"I'm glad you guys found me. Really, I am. For two years I lived knowing something was missing and I knew as soon as I met you guys again that it was you all." she started and Norman nodded to show he was listening.

"I just... I just feel guilty. For two years you were searched the whole world for me and when you found me, I didn't even know who you were! I don't remember any of the struggles we shared, the joy we had or anything in between! There's literally nothing but a blank! I want to remember!" fresh tears started to form in her eyes.

"I want to remember what I gave up..." she whimpered as she looked at her lap.

She gasped softly when a large hand grabbed her chin and forced her to look into Norman's blue eyes.

"Emma, you have to stop being so hard on yourself." he told her gently, brushing away a tear that escaped her eye.

"But you guys told me that-" "We don't blame you for losing your memory!" he cut off her protest, already knowing what she was going to say.

Taking a deep breath himself Norman grabbed Emma's shoulders and leaned closer so their faces were right in front of each other.

"Listen to me! Nobody blame you for losing your memory! What you did saved us! You saved all of us and allowed us to live here, in this world! For that we'll always be so grateful of you for!" he lightly shook her.

"Even if I don't remember it all? When I'm not me anymore?" she asked timidly and he smiled.

"You may not remember us but we remember you and who you have always been and I can promise you you're still the same Emma we know and love. You're still our Emma." he instinctively cupped her cheek as he spoke.

"You're still my Emma." he smiled tenderly as he watched her lean into his touch, finally letting a beautiful serene smile form on her lips.

"Thank you, Norman." she said, putting her hand over his.

"Any time, Emma." he answered and she shook her head.

"No, really! Thanks for being there for me. You're the best, Norman." she said before leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

She giggled as she watched him gape at her, face bright red.

Norman took a moment to recollect himself before clearing his throat and slowly standing up.

"You think you're ready to go back inside?" he asked, offering his hand.

Emma hesitated for a moment before taking his hand and allowing him to pull her up.

"Sure, better get this over with and explain why I'm being stupid." she joked dryly.

Norman chuckled and lightly swung their still entwined hands.

"Don't worry about that. I'm pretty sure Ray's got it all covered." he told her reassuringly.

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to trust you." Emma said as she leaned against him as they walked.

"Just like I always have."

The End

Thanks for reading! This had been the twelfth fic for NoremmaMonth2020, "Day 12: Sacrifice"! I hope you liked it! Please review, fav and read my other work too!