Quick thing: thanks, Izaelius for following! It's great to have you on board! Thanks, silversean24 for favoriting both this piece and A Certain Strange Scenario! I greatly appreciate it!
Response time is here, as always! Let's begin.
Whwsms: the dere is strong, with this one.
It was an honor to be able to include him; Destati69's pieces are treasure troves of comedic gold. I'm glad you enjoyed the quick cameo! I'd say that Kami Disease was forced out of Touma at the moment that his first sexual encounter with Misaki began to unfold.
You were able to pick up on that? Just how much do you know?! For now, I can say that it's a topic that'll soon be discussed by the couple; the chances of a "resonation" are far greater in this timeline, than they are in another place, and in another time. There's but one major obstacle.
I can imagine that, complete with the classic "ara, ara", and I can especially imagine a whole pile of once-harem members clamoring at the chance to become first aunt. Maybe, these fantasies will soon become realities.
As always, I appreciate your continued interest!
321jaz: let's get it started, in here!
There's a very good chance that it'll be a bit complicated.
That's the gist of it; there're a few things, besides the absence of crude humor, that are different between Protectron and a certain anti-esper machine, from another time and place, but, you'll have to read on to find out exactly what those things are.
I would say so; I don't really have any "humorous" puns that wouldn't seem to be incredibly forced. Sorry, friend.
It's almost bound to, one way or another. A certain French princess and a certain thunder god can't be wandering around Academy City without purpose, after all!
Would Osamu want to switch places with the pointy-haired boy who dwells in another time, and in another world? His recent developments in the universe of "A Compilation of Misfortune" in particular would suggest otherwise, at least, for the time being.
Resisting urge to title drop. Some things change for the worse, while others change for the better; I think I can safely say that Misaki's prioritising of her physical health was a change for the better.
I'd have to say that I think that it would be quite interesting to explore a time in which the Kamijous had yet to become the Kamijous, so to speak.
I hope you enjoy chapter nine of Times Change, as well as the events of the Surfacing Arc, and beyond!
Geust's Account: I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed that scene!
You don't mess with Kakine Teitoku, and you certainly don't mess with the people he's chosen to protect. Dark Matter really does matter.
You predicted correctly; we'll be seeing some more friendly, athletic competition between the married couple, from here on out. I'm glad you enjoyed the scene so much! There'll be more where that came from.
Makes you wonder, huh? "How you like me, now?"
Ooohhh. Will Cendrillon go there? Will her words cause Kamijou Misaki to invoke "full-on soap opera mode?" It would be a prime opportunity to do so, if I could say so, myself. You'll have to read on to find out, friend!
Anon: could be! Perhaps your theory is correct, and the 'true' Kami Disease has infected another, while this inferior variant chose poor Osamu Yuki as its host. If the next generation of Kamijous started with a female, that could be interesting.
I think Kanzaki Kaori would automatically win the status of "cool big sister", if history's any indication. The position of first aunt would be up for grabs, first come, first serve, I imagine.
It's something I'm seriously considering; all of you lovely people seem to like the idea, and it's been growing on me, as well, even since I first began writing this piece. Timeskips might be necessary, to some extent, perhaps between arcs.
Onto chapter nine; this marks the end of the PRANK Arc, and the beginning of the Surfacing Arc! What, exactly, could be surfacing? There're a lot of potential answers, quite possibly more than one.
Before the Kamijous stood an elegantly-designed door, stalwartly guarding the condominium's entranceway, and the lobby beyond from unwanted intruders. Its frame was constructed with a bright silver, almost white metal, with light purple trimming. Within the confines of the frame, a tall, ornately-decorated pane of glass stood. Pristine in its condition, the family could faintly see their reflections in the glass.
The lobby beyond was wide, spacious, and lavishly decorated. The floors of the lobby were tiled with white squares; floral patterns were made up of black, white, brown and silver tiles, while the walls appeared to be made up of dark, light grey bricks that jutted outwards, creating an almost cottage-like appearance. The wall had a series of equally spaced apart windows, whose long panes of glass were just as elegant as the pane of the door that lead into the lobby proper.
To accent the lobby's apparent theme of choice, in the center of the lobby, placed within a wide pillar was a large, ornate fireplace. Convincing-looking, but holographic flames crackled within, likely projected by some internal computing device. Above the fireplace was a flat screen television, that was turned off, its remote set atop the fireplace. Set around the pillar, and the fireplace within were three large, comfortable-looking leather chairs.
"I still find it hard to believe that Accelerator lives here, of all places," Index commented, as she stretched her arms above her head.
"What're the chances that it was his "brats" who picked it out? We taking bets?" Touma inquired, as he stifled a chuckle.
Index giggled aloud, while a grinning Misaki shook her head, and softly ran her fingers over her husband's hand, as if to simulate a smack. "Do not tease, you."
Touma placed the palms of his hands together, and offered a respectful bow. "Forgiveness, Misaki-sensei!" He proclaimed, as he scrunched his forehead, and tightly closed his eyes in mock-concentration.
A giggle was torn from Misaki's throat; unable to hold back any longer, she placed a hand to her face, and turned away from the humorous sight.
There was a soft buzzing tone, suddenly. The door before the Kamijous clicked, and, though it didn't open automatically, a soft-spoken, robotic voice came over what sounded like a pair of loudspeakers that the Kamijous had neglected to notice, which were sitting in the four corners of the small room just outside of the lobby.
"Autolock Solutions anti-burglary system temporarily disengaged by tenant! Pleasant Springs Living would like to welcome you! Please, enjoy your stay, and, remember; It's Not Safe, If It's Not Autolock!"
"I'll be sure to get right onto that, Robot-Sama," Touma grumbled, as he gently pulled the door open. The young man held it for Index, and then for his wife, both of whom smiled warmly at him, much to his pleasure. Stepping inside, and allowing the door to close, and then click behind him, Touma scanned the area for an elevator, something that would've resembled his apartment complex's two-doored box.
Instead, Touma was reminded that the condominium in which Accelerator lived didn't have a "traditional" elevator car, or even a traditional shaft. There was no shaft at all; rather, there was a long, wide, translucent tube-like structure. Bound with bright, metallic reinforcements, the structure ended in a pod-like opening. Next to the tube-structure was a small, translucent panel, which had two ornate buttons – one that depicted a bright blue 'up' arrow, and another that depicted a 'down' arrow that was colored a darker shade of blue.
Pressing the 'up' arrow, Touma stepped away from the tube-structure. "Stepped into this thing a thousand times, it feels like, but I'll never get used to it. Still so weird," Touma mumbled.
"Get with the times, old man!" Index exclaimed; having sat herself down in one of the leather chairs surrounding the fireplaces, she leaned back, eyes closed.
"Dang-blasted whippersnappers," Touma spoke in a gravelly voice, full of mock-frustration. He narrowed his eyes, and gently shook his fist in the air. "Back in my day, we didna have any 'a these… wait, actually, we kind of did. Illusions, shattered."
"What comes around, goes around, my prince," Misaki softly spoke, as she took to her husband's side. Folding her hands and placing them at her waist, her starry eyes looked up at the tube-structure.
"I'll show you what "comes," Touma whispered, with a smirk. Misaki turned to face her husband, and, with a small grin, she raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? Now, I think I am interested," Misaki whispered back; Misaki wasn't aware of it, but Kamijou Index was quietly creeping up behind both she and her husband, with a wide, predatory grin of her own; the nun had been possessed by the distinct feeling that there were dirty little secrets to be heard.
"I want you, even if we made love this morning. I still want you, you turn me on so much," Touma whispered. Index stopped in her tracks; it looked as though Touma would turn his head. Not wishing to be caught, the nun backpedalled, and folded her arms, eyes looking about innocently. Touma's eyes fell south with hesitation, as he took a step closer.
"My eyes are up here, husband… oh, I see no point to such a pathetic charade; I love it when you get all pervy, aaalll for me. Would you like to touch them? Kiss, and lick them, maybe? They are yours. They get so sweaty, and, when they do, they stick together. Maybe, you could part them for me, and, then, with your face between them, you could…?"
"This is the Lewd Police! BUSTED! You're under arrest for conspiracy to commit the act of… getting nasty!"
Misaki spun on her heel, as did Touma. The Mental Out user grinned awkwardly, as her starry eyes shifted to look at her husband. Touma's eyes shifted in his wife's direction, and then back to the pointing, giggling nun standing before them.
"Dirty talk in public! My, my! You truly are depraved! I-I'm sorry… I couldn't resist!" Index spoke through giggles, as she stumbled back.
"Just you wait, Index, we'll get you back," Touma responded with mock-anger.
"I will cleanse you of your sins," came Misaki's reply. She quickly closed the distance between herself and her dependant. Gently, she ruffled the nun's silver hair.
The sound was quick, like a long object that'd been swatted at the air with considerable force. Touma instinctually started, as the capsule-like elevator suddenly arrived. A translucent, glass door on its surface swiftly slid open, the motion fluid.
"Our ride's here; all aboaaarrdddd!" Touma spoke up, as he stepped in. Misaki stopped messing her dependant's hair, and, stepping away, she quickly boarded the elevator. The prankish nun followed, smiling as she placed herself between her guardians. She took either of their hands in hers.
The capsule's door slid shut, and Touma tapped the bright blue, numbered button that corresponded with the floor that Accelerator's residence was located on. Within a fraction of a second following the input, it slowly began to build speed, as it rose from the ground.
Touma soaked up the lively interior of the capsule; the inner walls were adorned with what appeared to be a watercolor painting, which depicted a rural countryside, more than likely in a western country, given the English characters seen on the wooden entranceway to what appeared to be some type of fair, complete with a Ferris Wheel. Touma smiled at the sight of the wheel.
"Hey, baby," Touma stated, turning to Misaki, who smiled at him. "Heh… do I even have to say it?"
"If you would like to, I would encourage you to do so; I do. Of course I do, as I always will, husband of mine. The Ferris Wheel… of course I do. Where it all began."
"I still intend to keep that promise, beautiful. I'll always protect you, and I'll always protect our family."
Index nuzzled Touma's chest with the side of her face, and sighed contentedly. Misaki ruffled the nun's silver hair with her available hand, as she looked at the depiction. Though it was a static image, of a place that certainly wasn't Academy City, Misaki could still feel herself drifting back to that day.
Before her musing could continue, the capsule's speed began to slow, steadily. Before long, it had stopped completely, and the door slid open. As it did so, an additional panel that closed over the glass door slid back, as well; it took part of the bright, orange ball that sat in the painting's blue sky with it. The Ferris Wheel remained, and, as the Kamijous stepped out, Misaki paid it one last glance.
The floor of the condominium that Accelerator lived on, like all other floors, was circular in design. Along the beautifully painted walls, which, although not depicting any scene in particular, were still quite alluring, there was a series of metallic doors. Stepping out from the tube-like structure in the center of the floor, the Kamijous scanned their collective visions around, searching for unit number eighteen. Misaki was the first to lay eyes upon it, and began to move in its direction, while her husband and dependant followed.
Following a quick wrap on the door, Kamijou Misaki took a step back, hands folded at her waist. She moved them away, as quickly as they'd fallen, and adjusted her bangs, before she began to fuss with her top, momentarily.
"You look beautiful… you are beautiful," Touma stated softly. Leaning down, he placed a gentle kiss to his blushing wife's cheek. Before he pulled away, he pecked her on the lips. For a split second, their tongues connected, but the married couple swiftly got a hold of themselves.
Kamijou Misaki's fingers brushed against Kamijou Touma's, "thank you, baby. You look handsome, and are handsome, as always."
The door to Accelerator, Last Order and Misaka Worst's residence flew open; Last Order stood, smiling brightly, hair tied up in a neat bun before the Kamijous. Clad in a short-sleeved, bright pink shirt, and a pair of comfortable-looking, white sweatpants, Last Order ran into the waiting arms of the Kamijous, who welcomed her.
"The Saviors, Index! The Redeemed One…? Where is the Redeemed One, MISAKA MISAKA inquires, searching for the Redeemed One, so that MISAKA can greet her, as well!" Last Order, held in the trio's arms, looked about.
"Ah, Othinus is slumbering; I will wake the One-Eyed Menace, though I fear that we will come to regret it," Misaki stated. Misaki reluctantly broke away from Last Order, and, reaching into her purse, she felt her fingers run over the smooth, silky skin of the former Magic God. Gently entrapping Othinus in her hand, Misaki carefully lifted her out, and placed the muttering, stretching Othinus on her shoulder.
"What is this? What is this place? Am I still… oh. We're at the Accelerator's residence. Hello there, Last Order," Othinus greeted, as she leaned back on Misaki's shoulder, and allowed her tiny legs to dangle.
"Awwwwwwwwweeehhh! She's still so CUTE! MISAKA MISAKA exclaims, squealing in pleasure at the sight of the Redeemed One!" Last Order proclaimed, placing her clenched fists beneath her chin. "But, ah, come in! MISAKA MISAKA offers, as not to seem rude."
"No worries, Last Order," Touma commented; he followed in Last Order's footsteps, as his family followed behind him. Holding the door, Last Order waited until her friends entered, and, she then closed and locked the door behind her.
The group of five left the entranceway, and, following Last Order's lead, walked into the television room, where the Kamijous found Accelerator, sprawled out on the couch, one leg dangling over the couch's arm. His neck looked bare, without the choker that was almost always bound to it; his crutch sat nearby, leaning against the end of the couch.
"Oi, Touma, Misaki, Index, Othinie? Othirina? Whatever. One-eyed brat… Othinus, that's it. Name fucking slipped me," Accelerator greeted, with a wave of his hand.
"Okay… sorry, not used to not being called "the hero", or any variant thereof, it's cool though," Touma spoke. "Oi, Accelerator. Good to see you."
"You and I have a lot to talk about, Last Order! LOTS!" Index exclaimed. Last Order happily nodded in the nun's direction; as Index ran towards the stairs that lead to the condo's second floor, Last Order moved to follow, but faced the Kamijous' direction, and her guardian's.
"MISAKA hopes to see more of you, before the day is through, MISAKA MISAKA says, expressing her longing for a visit with the Saviors and the Redeemed One!" With that, she excitedly chased her friend up the stairs, as she began to giggle, with joy, and excitement evident in the vocalizations.
Accelerator, with some effort, moved himself up from his sprawled position, and slouched in the right corner of the couch, crossing one leg across the other. "No need to fucking stand. Take a seat; everything in this place is yours, as much as it is mine, goddamn heroes."
"There we go!" Misaki teased, as she placed a hand on Accelerator's bony shoulder. Accelerator tilted his head to one side, offering an awkward, tiny grin. "It is so good to see you again, Accelerator-san."
"Really though, we've really missed you, Accelerator. We need to get together more often, get back into the swing of things, you know? Be adventurous? We're not old men yet," Touma joked. "How've things been, dude?"
"Fine, "dude", Accelerator mockingly replied. "Yeah. It's good to see you again, too. I'd get drinks, or some shit, but," the "top dog" motioned towards his crutch. "Stupid choker's still charging. Don't feel like hobbling all over the place."
"It's cool, I can grab something. What're you feeling like? Accel? Misaki? I'm sure I could figure out some way to get something for you, Othi-chan," Touma offered, which brought out an uncharacteristic chuckle from Accelerator.
"Touma. Fucking hero, ten years later, and you're still up to the same goddamn shit, aren't you? Never change. Just a soda," Accelerator spoke.
"A soda, too, please, baby?" Misaki inquired, smiling up at her husband.
"I'll live; I appreciate the gesture, regardless," Othinus stated.
Misaki, slowly and cautiously, as not to knock the tiny former Magic God from her perch, sat herself down in, rather than on the couch; as soon as her posterior touched it, she remembered why, exactly, it was that Accelerator spent so much of his time laying on it. Misaki's body practically sank into the shining, pristine couch. First, her legs sank into the cushion, then, her lower, and then upper back were the next parts to fall victim, with her shoulders not following far behind.
Othinus, as if on cue, climbed down from her guardian's shoulder, and landed in her lap, tiny legs folding, and then rising back up, as she regained her "full" height of fifteen centimeters. Like nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, Othinus elegantly sat herself down, and, crossing one leg over the other, she placed her hands in her own lap.
"So. How've things been, fifth ranked? How's the hero been?" Accelerator inquired, crimson eyes shifting in their sockets, in Misaki's direction.
"Ah, things have been… so very well. Idyllic, as always," Misaki replied. "Touma has been well; he was quite exhausted, when he arrived home from his last day at work, before the weekend, and had to nap for a short while, but, there have been no other incidents, per say, aside from… encounters with the odd halfwit, or otherwise preoccupied individual."
Accelerator smirked, slightly. "The odd halfwit", huh? What sort of fucking "halfwits" are we talking about? I know all about "halfwits", fifth ranked. In fact, I'm sitting across from one."
Misaki giggled, before she began to wag her finger in the "top dog's" direction. "My, my; so rude! We all know what is beneath that gruff exterior, however."
Accelerator raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"
Nodding, Misaki raised her head, and closed her eyes. "We all know that you are, beneath all that tsun… so very dere."
Accelerator scoffed, and folded his arms. "Hardly, fucking fifth ranked. Now, tell me, what sort of imbeciles have you and the hero encountered? You've peaked my curiosity, for some reason. The brat is rubbing off on me, the one that's here right now."
"Oh, Worst is not present?" Misaki inquired. Othinus laid herself back, rolled over on her side, and, using the top that covered Misaki's toned torso as a pillow, she closed her eye.
"One-eyed brat fucking tired, or something? No, Worst isn't here. Out with one of her friends," Accelerator answered.
"Resting, albino. Resting," Othinus stated firmly. "When you live with these people, you don't tend to have a lot of extra energy. They're exhausting." The former Magic God's lips curled into a smile.
Misaki looked down to the resting, relaxed form of Othinus, so close to her belly. She'd curled into what looked like a vague, unconscious attempt at a fetal position. Misaki felt her heart beat just a little bit faster, as she felt the urge to gently place a hand on Othinus, and provide her with warmth, and comfort, even if she didn't seem to be in dire need of either.
Touma returned, three glasses of cola in his hands. He was walking quite slowly, with cautious footfalls, as he peered down at his right hand, like he didn't trust it. Misaki sighed, quietly. There was still "that" in the way.
"Drink delivery… eheheh, beautiful, could you grab one or two from me? You know how the "misfortune game" goes," Touma commented; his vision fell upon the resting form of Othinus, and, lips curling into a small smile, he made his way over to his wife, and to Accelerator. Cautiously, he handed his beloved her glass. Misaki leaned forward, and kissed her husband on the cheek, softly, but so lovingly. Then, placing his own down on the coffee table near the couch, he moved in the other direction. With Accelerator's drink safely in his left hand, he handed it to the "top dog".
"Thanks, hero," Accelerator remarked. He placed the beverage on the coffee table, and rolled his shoulders. The "top dog" found himself feeling oddly distracted. In the moment that Misaki had looked down to that one-eyed brat, her facial expression had changed. To Accelerator, it'd almost looked like one of longing. It hadn't lasted; as soon as her husband had returned, she instantly seemed to perk back up. Accelerator had a hypothesis.
"You bring another goddamn hero into the world, and you, and you alone, are going to be fucking responsible for all the deserving idiots who get fucking punched. Is that what you two want? Get rid of the hero's stupid hand. Don't let any fucking thing stand in your way."
"Thank you, everything," Misaki spoke. Touma sat himself down between his wife and Accelerator. Taking Misaki into an embrace, she snuggled into his chest, and closed her eyes. Misaki's arms wrapped themselves around her husband's waist, as she produced a soft, quiet noise that made butterflies flutter about in Touma's stomach. Looking at Misaki, Touma's smile grew wider. "You're adorable. You're so, so adorable."
Misaki kissed her husband, and then turned her attention to Accelerator. "Accelerator, forgive me; I never answered your question! Touma, you were telling me the other day, about the man at the stoplight?" Misaki spoke.
Touma shook his head, and chuckled softly, more to himself than to his wife, or his old friend; Accelerator couldn't help but smile at the display before him. "Goddamn hero. Goddamn fifth ranked. This is all you do… that's your thing, though. It's you. Never going to understand your weird harmony, but I can respect it, I guess. Beats all the fucking idiots who just sit around and fight all the time. There's actual goddamn love, so much of the shit that I could drown in it, here, not just… business."
"Yeah, oh, man. Reminded me of the Rookie, with all those women following him around," Touma began. He turned his head to face Accelerator, and rolled his eyes. "Get this, Accel, man. So, this guy in a suit – purple hair, of all the colors, purple, with all these women following him around, just straight-up bumps into me, at the stoplight near my apartment. No "oops!" No "sorry, man, my bad!" Wasn't going to go after it, not worth it, but, it actually really miffed me."
Accelerator clicked his tongue. "You realize that was what you looked like, before you got with the fifth ranked, hero? You were always being chased by girls, too. You weren't a dick, but you were still quite the sight to see."
It was then that something happened to Accelerator. It was strange to him, something he didn't often experience. The last time he'd felt this way, or had experienced this was when the right hand, curled into a fist of Kamijou Touma had, somehow, connected with his face, an impossibility. Accelerator, the "top dog" of Academy City, the number one strongest esper, shuddered. A chill went down his spine, as his body shook, ever so slightly.
If looks could kill, Accelerator would've been struck dead. Kamijou Misaki's brow had furrowed, and her eyelids had narrowed, partly obscuring her starry eyes. Her golden eyebrows sank inwards, and she'd raised the side of her upper lip, slightly. Her cheeks were raised, just a bit.
"B-baby? Beautiful? Cuddle-Boo? You're… uh, you look pretty… scary. Actually, you look… kind of like my… uh, mom. When she, uh… you know. Gets… mad," Touma awkwardly stuttered.
"Fucking… Cuddle-Boo? Goddamn hero." Accelerator mumbled under his breath.
"I learned from the best, everything," Misaki stated. "Rest assured, Accelerator… my husband's "admirers" know where they stand, and they know where I stand… where we stand."
"Nice death glare, fifth ranked. I'm liking it; keep that shit up, and every woman in Academy City will be scared to go near the hero," Accelerator commented.
"O-oh my; that's… that's not what I want at all! I mean, in a manner of speaking, ah, this is so… I am so embarrassed at myself," Misaki muttered, blushing brightly. "My instincts get ahead of me, sometimes, and…"
"Beautiful, it's okay. I know what you're feeling. The same thing happens to me, when I see someone's eyes following you, when we're out doing things together, especially if they're the eyes of a man; the important thing is, we understand what we feel, and we work everything out, as we always do, right? We don't let this sort of thing get in the way," Touma spoke, softly, and comfortingly. Misaki nuzzled her husband, as Accelerator watched on. He rolled his eyes, and then looked down to his phone, which he tugged out from his pocket. Internally, a part of him enjoyed the display; it was that harmony of theirs in action.
"Right, my love. That is right," Misaki responded. "That is oh so right. You always know just what to say. I trust you so much." The facial expression that had brought out some primal, instinctual terror in Accelerator's heart faded, as Touma gently rubbed his nose against his giggling wife's. The storm, as quickly as it had come, passed.
"I get it, too, fifth ranked. I get what you're saying. It's not that you want to fucking deprive the person, or people you love, of their life, or lives, it's… protectiveness, I guess. Fuck, listen to me," Accelerator stated, motioning towards the married couple. "I'm blaming this soft shit on you two."
Touma craned his neck, and turned his head in Accelerator's direction. He wore a facial expression of seriousness. "Accel, man, yeah… that's what it's about. You'd never want to stop the person, or, people, you love from living their lives, or from making friends. Misaki's got plenty of guy friends, and I've got plenty of girl friends, you know, friends who are girls. I imagine Last Order and Worst have guy friends, even though that's a different situation." Misaki nodded in agreement, smiling warmly.
Accelerator clicked his tongue, as he pocketed his phone. "Goddamn hero. You're going to make me talk about this shit, aren't you? Fucking…"
"I'm sure you fucking do, hero. If you don't mind… there's actually something that… fucked me up, that happened earlier." Accelerator craned his neck, and looked to the entranceway to the stars, that lead to the condo's second floor. With a sigh, he grumbled to himself. Touma couldn't really make out any coherent words, in particular, but Accelerator's grumbling was filled with a tone of rather sudden frustration.
Both Kamijou Misaki and Kamijou Touma faced Accelerator, expectant looks on their respective faces. Touma set himself into a more neutral position; a single arm remained around his wife's shoulders. She snuggled close to him, and brought her feet up to the couch's seat. Othinus slid, falling gently to the soft, leathery seat below. With a shake of her head, she curled herself back into a golden and pink little ball.
"I am listening, Accelerator-san, as always," Misaki spoke.
"Same, Accel. What's up? Everything good?" Touma inquired, not long after his wife's offer was vocalized.
"Yeah, I'm fucking fine. Some fucked up shit's been happening," Accelerator lowered his voice, and, with his vision gazing down at his lap, he produced a grunt. "Haven't really talked about this shit before. I'm not a 'talk it out' kind of person, but, I want to be. Holding this shit in is doing more harm than good. It's… about the goddamn brats. Getting older.
"I've been feeling fucked up things, things I shouldn't be fucking feeling towards them. Worst's always fucking throwing herself at me, teasing me, trying to get my goddamn goat. Last Order doesn't do any of that shit, but, she's… she's just… she's older, and now, she's getting… fuck. She looks, in a way, I guess…"
"Attractive?" Touma inquired, helping Accelerator find the word he'd been looking for. In line with Accelerator's, Touma's own voice had quieted.
Accelerator started, but didn't look away from his lap. He felt like an awkward, shy little child, confessing to some offense they'd committed. "Y-y… yeah. No, I mean, no. Not fucking attractive, not like that. Fuck, Touma, this shit's killing me. I… we fucking kissed, this morning. The bigger brat fucking egged her on, and she fucking kissed me. I-I didn't try to stop it. I'm sick, I fucking enjoyed it."
"You… kissed Last Order? Worst was responsible for setting this up? Doesn't really surprise me, Worst is, well… she's Worst," Touma mumbled. "That's, well, I can't really relate." Touma looked to his wife for support. Offering Misaki an awkward smile, he stated, "Misaki, you're a better talker than me."
"Please, do not sell yourself short; you have great communication skills, Touma," Misaki responded, before she began to answer her husband's call for aid.
"I think, Accelerator-san, this encounter might have felt bad, or, you may have felt guilty, because, that is the thought process you are applying to this situation. Your relationship with Last Order, and with Worst has always been moulded to be a certain way, originally by your once-guardians, and, then, as you began to grow with Last Order, and then with Worst, you began to apply this mould yourself.
"However; as you clearly realize, the three of you are growing, and changing. You are adults, now, with adult bodies; bodies that have certain cravings, which, I believe, you have locked away in a proverbial vault. Accelerator-san, do you feel that, if you were to "release" these cravings, that something bad would happen? To you, or to Last Order, or Worst, or between yourself, Last Order, or Worst?"
Accelerator nodded weakly. Misaki frowned, slightly. To Kamijou Misaki, it was an odd movement to see the normally confident, and, to an extent, even cocky "top dog" of Academy City making. "I don't… I don't want to destroy what I've built, with these brats. It's just safer to think of them as kids, even if, even if they're not fucking kids. Even if they're the farthest thing from it, even if I s-sometimes have these… sick, fucked up feelings for them. I'm frustrated, and… these brats are the only women besides Yomikawa and Yoshikawa that I've had any sort of physical contact with, I guess. It's all fucked."
"Accel, you ever consider hooking up with someone? Someone outside your circle?"
The inquiry made Accelerator chuckle, for a moment. "Fucking hero. Who would I "hook up" with? That dumbass necromancer? The nitrogen brat, or the foreign beret brat? The bigger one? I'm not a "hook up" type of guy, hero, and I know you're not, either. You never were, Touma. Always the loverboy… heh."
Misaki looked up, as if she'd thought of something important. Though Touma could see no lightbulb floating above her, he knew his wife's facial expressions well enough. "My husband's heart is in the right place, as it always is, but, Accelerator-san, when it comes to relationships, there has to be love there. Lust has its purposes, but lust alone can only get you so far, when you are involved with another. I think this is… something that you, Last Order, and Worst need to speak about at length, before you take any further steps, in any direction."
Accelerator smirked. Then, as the married couple looked on, he smiled. For the couple, it was a sign of Accelerator's growth. Even if he would continue to grow, and continue to change, the fact that he could openly smile served as a reminder of the changing times around them.
"Yeah. I know. The other brat's got some stupid fucking trick up her sleeve, I'm goddamn sure of it. I'll sit the two ass-pains down, and we'll… we'll fucking talk, I guess. I want to do the right thing for them, make them both happy," Accelerator spoke. "Let's talk about something lighter. Talked to the other fucking hero? Not the seventh ranked. Hamazura."
Touma didn't particularly mind the tonal shift; he felt oddly helpless. Accelerator was obviously distressed, and, yet there wasn't a lot he could do to alleviate that. As if she had some unknown sixth sense that linked her to her husband's thoughts and feelings, Misaki placed a hand on her husband's available hand, and smiled warmly at him. Touma returned the gesture, before he swiftly kissed her on the forehead.
"Shiage's doing good, as far as I know; a little on the busy side, we don't really talk all that much, but, when we do, always good times. Rikou and the kids are good, too. You know that Fremea's studying to become a teacher?" Touma responded, returning his attention to Accelerator.
"Heh… maybe she'll replace the teacher brat you two had, she'd probably cry a lot less," Accelerator scoffed.
"Komoe-sensei was… sensitive, but, she was, and still is, such a lovely person. Her heart is so full of love, for everyone and everything around her. If only all teachers were as dedicated to their jobs, and to their students, as Komoe-sensei was," Misaki remarked. "I am certain that, should Fremea pursue a career in education, she will be the same."
Touma stifled a chuckle, as he took a sip of his drink. Placing the beverage back down onto the safety of the table, he allowed the vocalization to escape. "Hey, beautiful," Touma spoke, turning his attention to his wife, "my dear little "Kamijou-chan."
Misaki giggled, as she reminisced. "Precious "Shokuhou-Sama". Oh, what a unique individual Komoe-sensei was. It was a shame that she had to put up with those two dolts."
"Aogami and Tsuchimikado? Yeah, but, it wasn't like she was alone; Fukiyose-sensei was on Komoe-sensei's side," Touma responded.
"Seiri? Black-haired girl, no nonsense? Miss her. One of your few friends that I could fucking tolerate, hero, fifth ranked," Accelerator remarked.
Touma's lips parted, before he shook his head from side to side, slightly taken aback. Misaki didn't seem to be quite as flabbergasted as her husband, but, she was looking at Accelerator with an eyebrow raised, and a small grin on her face. She'd hatched something of an idea. "Those two always did have a certain chemistry."
"Are you… interested… in Fukiyose-san, Accelerator-san?" Misaki inquired. Touma was quick to clue in.
"Don't really know all that much about this situation with Last Order. Don't really know if Seiri is, uh… free, either. He always did seem fond of her, though. Gotta admit. Misaki knows what she's doing."
"Interested, as in, interested? Dunno. She's cute, I guess. Never really thought about it. I know it was always fun to watch her kick the shit out of those fucking morons," Accelerator answered nonchalantly.
"Accel-chan called a woman cute; breaking news!" Touma exclaimed. Accelerator cringed slightly, as he thought of the implications; Last Order could hear, despite the thumping of her music from upstairs, and then, his life would get even more complicated.
"Fucking… hero," Accelerator grumbled. "Fifth ranked, get a fucking grip on him, would you?"
Misaki nodded, and, with a wink aimed in the "top dog's" direction, she rose up. Misaki placed her lips next to her husband's ear, which garnered his attention. Touma's eyes shifted to his wife's direction, as she began to softly whisper.
"Behave yourself, and you'll get another reward. I quite enjoy this 'system' of ours, if I do say so myself; be a good boy, Kamijou Touma, and, on our way home, we can run again. I will get myself all… sweaty… for you. Give you something to lick off, especially from this lower body of mine that you, enjoy oh so much. Maybe, you can go lower, beyond "just" these legs of mine… I will let you clean my whole body, with that tongue of yours."
Touma leaned forward, in an attempt to hide his tightening pants, and, with a nod, he piped down.
"Tch. Good work, fifth ranked. At least someone's got the hero on a fucking leash," Accelerator commented. There was a series of three short beeps that followed his statement. "Stupid choker's done charging. Fucking finally. Pisses me off… wish they'd fix my fucking brain, all the way." Accelerator, rising up, reached for his crutch. With it, he arose form the couch, and hobbled in the choker's direction.
Misaki grinned, as she placed her index finger to her chin. Tapping it, her starry eyes looked to the ceiling. "All the way?" Misaki inquired. "By the way, please, do not give me any ideas, Accelerator-san. I quite like the idea of that; a nice, long leash…"
"… so that I can make this handsome, perfect man of mine beg for me. I like the sound of that. Lots, and lots of begging. Unnff. I want you to beg for the right to touch me, my prince… Ah! Get your head out of the gutter!"
Touma's eyes widened, slightly, and he could feel his pants becoming even tighter. "E-eh?! What's this about leashes? I'm no fetishist… well, I guess I can't really say that, can I?"
Kamijou Misaki placed a finger to the tip of Kamijou Touma's nose, and, blushing slightly, she returned her lips to her husband's ear. "Be a good boy, and we can try all sort of things out; only if you are comfortable, of course."
Chuckling, Touma placed his available hand on Misaki's thigh, and gently stroked, from the top of her thigh, to her ankle. A part of him wanted to go just a little bit lower, to feel the foreign extremities that laid just beyond, those smooth, silky appendages that his manhood had been between more than once, but anything more than that felt like it would be far too weird to him, and, more importantly, to his beloved. That was something that fell in the realm of true fetishists, like Aogami, or Musujime; both Musujimes, in fact. Misaki raised an eyebrow, as Touma awkwardly seemed to freeze up in place, hand wrapped around her ankle. As Touma rose back up, almost nervously, Misaki leaned in, and, after kissing her husband's cheek, she whispered, "baby? Everything okay?"
With Accelerator's back momentarily turned, Touma was, at least free from any potential ridicule that could've come from his awkwardness. "Y-yeah, beautiful, I'm great. Talk, later? No big deal, just, uh, nothing important, I promise. Eheheh."
Misaki nodded, before she smiled warmly, and kissed her husband again. "Of course, Touma. As soon as the chance presents itself, I will give you my undivided attention," she softly, lovingly whispered.
"Have I not explained this shit before, fifth ranked?" Accelerator spoke; the married couple could hear the welcomed mirth in the "top dog's" voice. "Augmentative surgery. Cybernetics, or some shit. I can talk without it. Can't really walk without it, unless I have this fucking piece of shit under my arm, City probably doesn't trust me. Heh," Accelerator remarked. "Can't they see how much of a pussy you fucking heroes have turned me into to?"
"Ah, yes, I do vaguely recall such an explanation; not that I was not listening, Accelerator-san! Things are so busy, during the week, some retained information simply…" Misaki began to explain, but Accelerator, having hooked his choker back into the wires that dangled from the back of his head, snapped it around his neck, and flicked it on. Letting his crutch fall, he shrugged his shoulders. "I was fucking with you, fifth ranked. It's fine. I get it, you and the hero have a life. No need to explain yourself."
Accelerator sat himself down on his end of the couch, and grabbed his beverage from his coffee table. Taking a sip, he held it tightly in his right hand, and, placing it on his knee, he shook his bangs from his face.
"So, what the fuck are we doing? You just dropping the nun off so you can go home and fuck?" Accelerator inquired, as he grinned malevolently, almost knowingly. For the married couple, it was as if Misaka Worst was looking at them.
"Can't say that was the plan, Worst, but, I don't mind the idea of that, to be honest," Touma spoke, as he turned his attention to his wife. Blushing, she shook her head from side to side in mock-disapproval.
"Eyes on the prize, hm, Kamijou Touma?" Misaki inquired. "In all seriousness, however, for my family and I, what, exactly, we are going to do today is up in the air. We are easy with just about anything. We would welcome you to join us, of course, Accelerator-san."
Accelerator grunted, before he took another sip of his drink. "Worst"? I look like a brat to you? Brats don't have to come with us, I guess. Everyone knows better than to come within a hundred feet of this place. We can figure something out, some sort of stupid shit to do."
"Like hooking you up with Fukiyose?" Touma teasingly pried; Misaki failed to stifle a giggle, as she gently, and softly smacked her husband's right cheek. Touma responded by removing his arm from around his wife, and softly pinching both of her cheeks.
"Tch. Fuck off, goddamn hero," Accelerator laughed. "Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea. Would be more fucking normal than doing anything with… them. Seiri always was kind of cute… fun…? To talk to. Goddamn fucking heroes. Making me soft like this."
Index, with her hands on her hips, stood tall before Last Order, who had laid herself out on her bed's comforter. "So, let me get this straight. Just, to summarize; you kissed Accelerator, and, then you realized you liked it – you realized you wanted more – and, now, you don't quite know what you've gotten yourself into. Is that it? Do I have the basics?"
Last Order nodded in confirmation. "That's right, MISAKA MISAKA says, confirming that her friend's summary of the morning's events is correct."
Index gave a nod, and then sat herself down on the edge of Last Order's bed. Index's vision met Last Order's, and, with a deep breath, Index prepared herself. Switching gears, she entered 'lecture mode'.
"Last Order, if this is what you want, you need to go after it! Don't let it slip between your fingers, babe! If you know that you love Accelerator, in this way, in the way that would take your relationship with him to new technical heights, you need to make him yours!
"When you two first met, things were different, right? Very, very different. Darker. You're both older, now, smarter, your bodies need certain things! Aside from not really being able to see you with anyone else, if I can be honest, I think Accelerator is just confused. I think you need to have a chitchat!"
Last Order nodded, somewhat weakly. Her facial expression wasn't betraying any sort of internal strife. If anything, since she'd began talking to Index, Last Order was, in fact, feeling a lot better about everything that had occurred in the morning, prior to her arrival.
"MISAKA agrees; MISAKA doesn't want anyone else. MISAKA is… is, in love with Accelerator. MISAKA has been, for a long, long time. MISAKA assumes it was the inferior unit's push that drove MISAKA to take the actions that she took. MISAKA doesn't know what the inferior unit's planning, but, MISAKA knows that the inferior unit knows that she can gain something from this, MISAKA MISAKA explains, hoping that she doesn't sound long-winded."
"Oh, no, not at all, Last Order; I'm glad you're talking to me about this. You seemed pretty eaten up over it, when we first started talking. You're one of my best friends, and all I want to do is help you feel better!" Index said happily, as she ruffled Last Order's chestnut brown hair. "Trust me, I think you need to go for it. I think Accelerator feels the same way, but, he doesn't want to let go of the past. I can imagine why, there's… there's a lot in his past that he feels that he needs to keep close to his heart. I get that, Last Order, I really, really do. But you can't dwell in the past forever. You have to make new experiences. You can't forget the past, but you can't be consumed by it."
Last Order's eyes shifted back towards her friend's. With an awkward smile, Last Order gently rose up from her bed, and took her friend into her arms. Index quickly returned the friendly embrace, as locks of her silver hair brushed against Last Order's chestnut brown locks.
"T-thank you, Index. You always make so much sense! You just know these things… MISAKA wishes she had all the answers, but MISAKA doesn't. MISAKA needs to help Accelerator let go of, but always remember what happened when he was in… the Dark. The Dark will always be here, but, MISAKA can help Accelerator beat it, just like she did before. MISAKA and Accelerator can overcome the Dark, MISAKA MISAKA says, as she feels like she is filled with determination."
Index pulled away, but kept her hands on her friend's shoulders, as she blushed. "A-ah! I don't know e-everything about everything! I kind of have an unfair advantage, in that regard. Watching Touma and Misaki love each other has given me a lot of knowledge about this sort of thing, about, understanding, and talking things out."
"The Saviors do have a harmony beyond measurement, don't they? MISAKA MISAKA rhetorically asks, not expecting her dear friend to have an answer to MISAKA's inquiry," Last Order replied.
Index smiled, as she stood up from the bed, and folded her arms. "I think you and Accelerator would have something similar. Accelerator's a little bit… rougher, around the edges, than Touma is, but it's way too easy to see that he adores you, and you're so easy to please, and easygoing, and pretty much just one of the best people to be around, ever."
It was Last Order's turn to stand up from her bed. Stretching her back, and holding her hands high above her head, fingers interlocked with one another, she groaned in relief as she did so. "MISAKA is f-flattered! MISAKA MISAKA exclaims, lightly blushing due to her dear friend's kind words."
Last Order faced Index, as she fiddled with her phone, for a moment, before she stuffed it into her pants pocket. "How have the Saviors been? What about the Redeemed One? MISAKA MISAKA inquires, asking a second time, as, now, MISAKA feels that it is less of a formality."
"Great, and great! Touma and Misaki always kind of are, though… when Touma's not working, and when Misaki's not doing stuff with the City, they're constantly together, always so… so positive, and loving! It's crazy; I don't really know how they do it. I guess that's just their love," Index explained. "Othinus has just been doing Othinus things. Being little and playing video games, mostly Bloody Fist, lately. Fighting with people on the Internet, you know how it is… speaking of Touma and Misaki, though, now that we're together, there's something we have to go over."
Last Order raised an eyebrow, but didn't interrupt.
"Like I said in my text, we might just need to resurrect PROTECT; Birdway-san, not Patricia, the other one, is, apparently, still a threat. I don't know if she's been disarmed, but I think, or, at least, I hope that she's not like… the Problem, anymore," Index stated.
"The Problem… is it in Academy City? MISAKA MISAKA inquires, preparing herself for a potential worst case scenario," Last Order responded, as she titled her head to one side. Stray locks of hair from Last Order's bun fell, as her head tilted.
Index shrugged. "I don't know. I might have to ask Hyouka to keep an eye open; she can get around quicker than you or I can, and, if she spots the Problem, she can get the drop on it; she's aware that we might have to bring PROTECT back, but we haven't really gotten anywhere, in terms of planning. I'm willing to bet that Fremea might be able to persuade Teitoku to watch for the Problem. I'd rather be safe than sorry."
"We could call Kazakiri-san, or text her, if you're worried about it, MISAKA MISAKA suggests, as to potentially catch the Problem red-handed," Last Order said, as she began to pace. She quietly muttered to herself, as she went over possible means of 'trapping' the Problem.
"I don't see why not; here, for the sake of convenience, I'll just call, and put her on speakerphone. I could call Fremea, too, maybe Ruiko. If the Problem is here, or if Birdway-san decides to show up, all five of us might be needed," Index explained; she extended her hand. Last Order understood the gesture, and placed her phone in Index's hand without hesitation. Index quickly navigated to Kazakiri Hyouka's contact information, and, from the Last Order's phone's contacts app, Index initiated a call.
Last Order's phone produced it's soft, buzz-like 'connecting' tone, for a few moments, before the receiver of the call answered. Apparently, Hyouka wasn't out prowling. Index pressed her thumb against the speakerphone option, and offered the device back to Last Order, who shrugged indifferently. Index turned it back towards her being.
"Last Order! Hello!" The voice of Kazakiri Hyouka said, happily. "I sincerely apologize for not being able to…"
"Aaaah, shaddap!" Index exclaimed; Hyouka began to laugh, with what sounded like a mix of surprise, and glee in the vocalization. "Hello, Index! I didn't expect to hear from you! This is so pleasant, but, why wasn't I invited to the party? Are you, by any chance, plotting some evil scheme?"
"MISAKA isn't the inferior unit, MISAKA MISAKA says, attempting to remind her dear friend that she is not a troublemaking boob-sprite," Last Order faux-huffed.
"B-boob sprite?!" Hyouka asked between her panting; by this point, she was deep in a laughing fit. "W-what… w-what in the world is a… a boob-sprite?! More importantly, w-why is it so… funny to me?"
Index bit her lip, before a giggle escaped. Then, another – the mental image of Worst in a revealing fairy outfit, wielding a small, plastic wand, with translucent, butterfly-like wings was terrorizing the nun.
"It's what the inferior unit is, MISAKA MISAKA explains, as she holds back an oncoming laugh-fest of her own," Last Order spoke. She'd placed a hand over her mouth, and her eyes were becoming moist.
Hyouka, after some struggling, managed to compose herself. Softly, she cleared her throat, before she began to speak. "So, aside from sending me into hysterics, what's your goal? What's up? Just call to chat? You don't have to have a reason to call! Just curious."
"Actually, Hyouka, we might need to bring PROTECT out of retirement; I discovered that Birdway-san, not the nice one, is still a threat, and, we're concerned about the possibility of the Problem being in Academy City. You weren't there, but it was here a few months back, but, Tsuchimikado-san managed to get it under control," Index stated. She threw herself down on Last Order's bed, her body bouncing for a few seconds, after the initial impact.
"The… problem?" Hyouka inquired, with what sounded like confusion in her tone of voice. Index and Last Order looked to one another, eyebrows raised. Just how far out of the loop was she?
"Lessar, you goose!" Index proclaimed; the vocalization had emerged louder than Index had wanted it to. Regardless, Hyouka didn't seem perturbed.
"Oh! Of course; I should've figured that. Sorry! It's, wow, it's been so long since we've actually had to PROTECT anything," Hyouka stated. On the other end of the call, the brown-haired girl rubbed her neck with her hand, as she awkwardly blushed.
Last Order looked about, nervously. "D-don't say her name too loudly, Index, MISAKA MISAKA warns, afraid of the possibility of the Problem hearing her dear friend's words, and discovering the location of the Saviors!"
"Chill, babe!" Index stated. "This is all just formality, Hyouka. Preparing for what ifs and maybes. With the knowledge that Birdway-san is still a problem, it just, sort of, opens up a whole other can of worms, you know? I'd rather be ready for nothing than not be ready for anything! I'm just going to need you to keep an eye out, let one of us know if you spot anything, or anyone on… the List."
On the other end of the call, what sounded like fingers sifting through paper could be heard, briefly, before Kazakiri Hyouka vocalized a pleased "aha!"
"I can do that; consider my eyes officially open. Do I need to update the List? The most recent entry, here, was… Misaka-san? No, she's crossed out. Old news, hm. Thomson-san was the most recent entry that I have recorded," Hyouka explained.
Index rolled onto her belly, and began to gently kick her legs back and forth, as she contemplated. Tilting her head to one side, the nun searched through the deepest crevices of her mind. "Don't cross out Thomson-san; not yet, at least. Might just be my own paranoia, but, I know she sometimes comes around. Could be a problem, but, Thomson-san is usually pretty reasonable. Oh! What about Fremea's sister? I know she's tried engaging Touma in… er… slightly, more than friendly conversations. Is she on the list?"
"Hmm… Seivelun? Yeah, I do have a "Frenda Seivelun", here. Operative Fremea might be able to give us some 'dirt'!" Hyouka said excitedly; Index giggled, as she imagined Hyouka dressed in full spy apparel, with a pair of night vision goggles over her eyes, lurking about, searching for information.
"That's really about it, for now, Hyouka; whether or not we bring PROTECT together, we really need to get together! Just the five of us! Girls' day out, you feel?" Index spoke. Last Order offered the nun a thumbs' up of approval, as she nodded excitedly. "I might, uh… need some… hm, backup…"
"I'll be free after today, actually! I've been, working, lately, with some friends, in regards to some important matters. It would be great to kick back and relax with you guys!" Hyouka spoke. Index could detect a hint not only of awkwardness, but a little bit of anxiousness in Hyouka's delivery. The nun didn't have to see her friend's face to know that something was wrong. She looked to Last Order, who seemed to be thinking the same thing, as she raised an eyebrow.
"Last Order?" Index inquired, looking to her friend.
"MISAKA should be available, MISAKA MISAKA says, confirming the answer she has to her friend's unvoiced question, since she knows all too well the inner workings of her dear friend's mind," Last Order spoke, as she sat herself down on her chair. Last Order pressed her hand against the edge of her desk, and began to spin herself in her chair.
"Never a dull moment," Hyouka commented, with a small giggle. "Before we get together, I'd like to visit with Touma and Misaki, too, however brief our meeting might be. I miss you all so much! Except Othinus. Rotten little brat."
Index tossed her head back, cackling like a witch, before she rolled onto her back. "Hyouka, thems fightin' words! I guess, it wouldn't be much of a fight, because you could just put a box over Othinus, and she'd be stuck."
"Remind me, Index? I need to bring a box," Hyouka responded, with a small chuckle. "I'll see you two tomorrow, then, I guess? I'll get in touch with Saten-san and Fremea, later; actually going to, work, fairly soon, in fact, or else I'd do it sooner."
"It's cool, babe," Index said nonchalantly. She brushed her silver bangs from her eyes, as Last Order continued to spin herself. As the clone's vision rolled, she marvelled at the spinning room around her, lips parting. Index looked back to her friend, and, witnessing the spectacle, she shook her head. "Let us know what they're saying? I guess, if worst comes to worst, we can figure out something to do, just the three of us."
"You can count on me; seriously! I'm bringing that box!" Hyouka said, as Index giggled. "Goodbye, Index, Last Order! It was so nice to hear from you, and, I'm looking forward to tomorrow! So much! Say "hi" to Touma, and Misaki, Index? Accelerator, Last Order?"
"Bye, babe! I'll try, if they're not sucking face!" Index joked.
"Byeee! MISAKA will do so, as soon as she can, MISAKA MISAKA promises, offering her word to her dear friend so that she can rest easy, knowing that the message will get across," Last Order spoke, her chair's spinning beginning to slow, eyes darting from side to side.
Index ended the call, as she resisted the instinctual urge to stuff Last Order's phone into a pocket that her Walking Church didn't possess.
"Thanks for letting me use your phone, babe," Index said, rising up from the bed. She offered the device back to Last Order, who gently retrieved it, and placed it into her pants pocket.
"No trouble! MISAKA MISAKA responds, hoping that her dear friend knows that MISAKA trusts her with her very life," Last Order replied, as she dizzily stumbled out of her chair, giggling as she began to move about, despite her slowly spinning vision. "MISAKA is curious, though… you said you needed "backup"? What do you mean, backup? Are you talking about… him? MISAKA MISAKA inquires, gripped by curiosity."
Despite herself, Index began to blush. Her cheeks lit up, glowing pink, as her vision was directed to the floor. "I-it's not what you think, you know! I want to get to know him better, even as just a friend! The that he fact… I mean, the fact that he's so… so… handsome, is… is an added bonus!"
"Riiiight, MISAKA MISAKA says sarcastically, vocalizing her lack of belief in her dear, shy friend's words," Last Order remarked. As the clone's vision stabilized, she placed her arm around Index's shoulders, stretched her available arm, and opened her hand, wide, as if she was showing Index some grand display; in Last Order's mind, at least, the many Gekotas that were on the walls of her room were certainly grand enough to be worthy of being displayed for all to see. "Since you've helped MISAKA, today, MISAKA will help you. MISAKA will help you become "friends" with this boy. MISAKA owes you this much, after all, MISAKA MISAKA states, hoping that she isn't coming off as a copycat of the inferior unit."
"Naaah. Worst would be trying to teach me how to… do the do. I'm no prude, but, Worst is into some weird things. To each their own, I guess!"
Last Order nodded sagely. Removing her arm from around the nun's shoulders, she leaned over her desk, grabbed the nearby tablet, and, unlocking it, she put in the passcode that she'd assigned to the device. Setting it up in the center of the desk, she tapped on the "Internet" app, and waved Index over. Sitting herself down in Last Order's chair, the nun peered down at the screen.
"You and MISAKA are going to study up. Boys aren't complicated; they need three things. Food, a smart woman's company, and, lots of attention. Lots. They're actually really needy! You have some knowledge of this from watching the Saviors' interactions, but, we need to put this into action, MISAKA MISAKA explains, taking on the mannerisms of a teacher, so that her knowledge is passed on to her dear friend properly and effectively."
"Alright, let's, get our options laid out, here," Touma spoke, as he placed his phone on the coffee table. It was turned to the side, and the phone's preinstalled notetaking app was open, with a small, point form list.
"We have… Underground mall, Seventh Mist, district six, and district fifteen… and a whole bunch of movie theaters," Touma commented, eyes scanning over the small list. He turned his head to face Accelerator. "Any other ideas, man? Hit us with your best shot."
Academy City's "top dog" gave a shrug, and finished his drink. Placing the empty cup back on the coffee table from where he'd retrieved it, he craned his neck, and looked to the married couple sitting next to him.
"New kiddie park in district six, has that big, fucked up funhouse. Don't really know why they call it a funhouse. Old guy almost had a fucking heart attack in there," Accelerator grumbled. "What's it called? It's on the tip of my tongue."
"Ah, the… the "Citadel of Dread!" Misaki exclaimed. She raised her head proudly, as she produced a mocking "hmph" in Accelerator's direction, before the façade faded, and she giggled, as she adjusted herself on the couch.
"Woo, great job, fifth ranked, you have a working brain," Accelerator responded, grinning.
"Old guy…? Oh, yeah, used to be a funhouse, I think. I remember seeing signs for it all over. Didn't they repurpose it? Don't think it's so much about fun anymore," Touma remarked. "Did it actually give an elderly man a heart attack?"
"Pfffft. Listen to you, hero. "Elderly man". Fifth ranked has rubbed off on you. Yeah, it did. Don't know the details, just know some Judgment girls got him out, he was fine, in the end, by the way. Don't get all fucking teary-eyed on us," Accelerator scoffed.
Misaki's lips curled into an excited grin. "That unfortunate incident aside, I think I would very much enjoy a quick test of my mental, and emotional endurance. What do you say? Touma? Accelerator?"
Accelerator raised an eyebrow, as he yawned, and then leaned against the right arm of the couch. "Quick"? Place is supposed to take fucking hours to get through, one of the biggest in the world. Of course they'd stick it in Academy City, so the faculty can sit around and jerk each other off. I don't care, I'll do whatever. It'll be funny to watch the fucking hero show off."
Touma protectively wrapped his arms around his wife's shoulders, as she smiled up at him. With a wink, she nuzzled him, and sighed contentedly. "Don't worry, Ojou-Sama. I'll protect you from the evil monsters," Touma teased, before he kissed one of Misaki's muscular arms, and then took his arms back. His wife nuzzled him, and Touma took her hand in his.
"Someone's going to have to tell the brats we're getting ready to head out, I guess. I'd do it, but I need to take a fucking piss… feeling a shit coming on, too," Accelerator commented, as he pushed himself up from the couch. Tossing his head to one side, in an attempt to move his bangs away from his eyes, the "top dog" passed by his abandoned crutch and headed in the direction of the bathroom.
Touma grinned, and shook his head. Turning to face Accelerator, he shouted, "tsundere! Disgusting tsundere!"
"Fuck you, hero!" Accelerator called back; he raised his hand, and extended his middle finger, wagging it from side to side until he disappeared into the bathroom. As the door shut, Touma leaned his head back against the soft, leather couch. With a short exhalation, he closed his eyes.
Then, he felt something strange place itself on his crotch. As his body began to relay to his mind what had just happened, he realized that there was not one, but two strange 'somethings' on his crotch. Touma's eyes opened, slowly, as he looked down, and grinned.
"Is this what you were trying to tell me, earlier, husband? You thought me unassuming? Oh, Kamijou Touma, you are an open book to me. I know aaallll about what you like," Misaki whispered. With finely honed skill, and expert precision, Misaki gently massaged the bulge that jutted up from his crotch with her sock-clad feet. "Do you like it, when your sexy little wife gets you off with her thighs, and with her feet? Hmm? Would you be so kind, as to empty yourself all over them both? I know that I enjoy it. I know that I enjoy having you beneath me, serving me, getting all excited for me." Misaki fought back a moan.
Even as adrenaline coursed through Kamijou Touma's veins, he ensured that his interactions with his wife were gentle ones. He reluctantly removed Misaki's feet from his lap, and, and took her into his arms. Misaki's arms were instantly wrapped around her husband's torso, as she looked up at him, big starry eyes looking into his. Touma kissed Misaki's forehead, as he softly stroked the back of her neck with the fingers of his left hand.
"You're actually making me want to take you home, where I can make love to you… have my way with you, in peace," Touma growled, as softly as he could; raw, barely-restrained desire tugged at his mind.
Misaki giggled, as she blushed. Her starry eyes didn't look away; they only looked deeper into her husband's, who, in return, stared back into his wife's. "You are so aroused. How many times must I get you off, before you are ready to leave our home, hmm? How many times must I make you shake, and squirm, and moan for me?"
"Save that enthusiasm," Touma spoke, as he lifted himself, and his wife from the couch. Ensuring that she was placed safely on her feet, he broke away, but quickly took his wife's hand in his own, as if to compensate. "You're going to need it." Touma quickly scooped up the resting form of Othinus, and gently placed her in Misaki's purse.
"Oh? You always deliver on your promises, so I am expecting quite the evening, my prince," Misaki said with a wink. She inhaled deeply, and then slowly exhaled, as she regained her composure. She shook her head, which caused her long, blonde knot of hair to bob from side to side.
Accelerator emerged from the bathroom, and, stuffing his phone back into his pocket, he stopped at the staircase that lead to the condo's second floor. "You fucking heroes didn't have a quickie in my goddamn house, did you?" The "top dog" chuckled, as he massaged his temples with his index finger and thumb. "I'll tell the brats we're heading out, if you're ready, or whatever. They'll be fine."
"Yeah, Accel, you're going to want to clean your couch. We fucked it up pretty bad," Touma joked. Accelerator flipped Touma off, as he began to climb the staircase. "Goddamn hero. Goddamn fifth ranked."
"Hello?! Am I still here? Where did everyone go?! Why is it so dark?! Where am I, even? Touma?! Misaki?! Nun?!" Othinus called out. Rising up, she looked around, somewhat anxiously, until her functioning left eye's vision fell upon the face of Kamijou Touma, which peered down at her. With a sigh, she waved her tiny arms at him, as relief began to wash over Othinus; she was safely tucked away in Misaki's purse.
"We didn't forget you, Othi-chan." Touma said warmly, as he softly rubbed his thumb against the former Magic God's tiny head. Though she resisted, at first, the affection quickly began to feel good. "G-go… pet your… w-wife… dullard," Othinus softly mumbled.
Touma removed his hand, but continued to look into his wife's purse. As he did so, Misaki ran her fingers through her husband's hair, softly, and lovingly. "Actually, Misaki, Accelerator and me are going to this spooktacular haunted house, or funhouse, or something, in district six. Did you want to come? Or do you want to stay here, with Index and Last Order?"
Othinus rubbed her chin, as she produced a soft, contemplative "hmm".
"I don't get out all that often. I think I'll stay with you; besides, it'll be golden to see, or at least hear Misaki tremble in fear at the sight of a dressed-up performer. Heh… then you, the noble hero, can swoop in and protect your betrothed, if you aren't urinating in your own undergarments," Othinus spoke.
Accelerator returned from the second floor of he and his dependants' home. He looked to the two half-empty, and the singular empty cup on the coffee table, and shrugged. "Fuck it, I'll clean up whenever. Get your shit together, heroes. Ready whenever you are. Is the one-eyed brat coming?"
"Yeah, Othi-chan's with us," Touma responded, as he slipped his shoes on. Misaki quickly did the same, as Accelerator moved towards the door. Unlocking the door, he stepped out, as the married couple followed not far behind. Accelerator locked the door with his key, and gave it a series of firm, tough shakes, as if to test its durability.
"So, how are we going to get there? Public transport? Taxi?" Touma inquired, as he took his wife's right hand into his left. Misaki, smiling warmly up at him, interlocked her fingers between her husband's, as they always did, and always would. The trio began to head towards the tube-structure in the center of the circular floor.
Accelerator placed his hands in his pockets, and shrugged. "I could throw you over there, hero. This fucking thing's got a week's worth of power. You want a lift, too, fifth ranked? Seriously speaking, doesn't matter to me. Taxi's going to be faster, and less annoying, retarded ignoramuses in a taxi. I'll only have to deal with four, counting the driver."
"So much tsun!" Misaki said, as she pouted in Accelerator's direction. Though Touma knew it was all in good fun, he kissed the top of his wife's head regardless, once, then twice, and a third time, for good measure.
"We'll get his dere out, beautiful, one way or another," Touma remarked. "Taxi it is, then, I guess!"