Rated PG-13!
Additional note: I don't own Wario.
One morning, Wario got out of bed after a good night's sleep and decided to go for a walk before breakfast. "Ima go walk and get some fresh air." He chuckled to himself, "Maybe while I'm-a at it, I can go steal some mon-ay!"
Putting on his shoes, Wario left his house and headed down the road without waking up Waluigi. Wario was betting that, by the time he got back, Waluigi would already be up and be wondering where he was.
To Wario, it didn't matter as Waluigi was a moron anyway.
As the fat, yellow-purple overall wearing "plumber" walked down the street, Toads yelled in terror and hid behind garbage cans, afraid of Wario. The mustached man chuckled to himself, he loved it when people feared him.
Taking notice to a nearby bank, Mario's rival chuckled, knowing the fun was about to begin. He grabbed some bombs from hammer space and chucked them at the side wall of the bank, hoping the vault was on the other side.
Wario took out a remote control and pressed the red button! KA BOOM, the bombs exploded and the wall crumbled, revealing the vault on the other side which contained a whole ton of cash.
Grabbing a full bag of coins, the infamous thief cackled deviously and made a run for it, hoping to evade the police once again and get away with all of the cash for himself. However, little did he know that this day was going to go south.
Just as Wario turned a street corner, he ran into a group of Bob-Ombs. When they saw him stealing money, they growled and lit their fuses before beginning to pursue him. "WAH!" Wario yelled, "Who cares about bombs?"
He ran faster and climbed a ladder to the roof of a building before the Bob-ombs blew up, damaging part of the building. To Wario's relief, he was safe... or was he?
The plumber thief spotted a giant orb bomb sitting close by, inactive, at least for now.
"Ho ho!" Wario grinned, "I could cause chaos with this."
He set down his sack of stolen cash, ran up and picked up the bomb with all of his strength before throwing it through the air as the fuse lit.
Wario cackled with glee and picked up the cash, watching as the bomb flew 5 meters before landing in the street. But just as it was landing, Wario spotted some words written on the side that read NUCLEAR BOMB and his heart sank...
"Oh no." Wario realized his stupidity too late...
The bomb hit the ground and KA BOOM; the whole area went up in a massive explosion. Wario was caught in the explosion and went hurdling into the air screaming, "WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" As for the money bag and the cash, it all got burned up.
His mustache singed and his overalls smoking, Wario flew three miles through the sky and landed back on the ground in a farm with some hay saving him. However, that was not the end of Wario's troubles...
Wario got to his feet, slowly recovering. But just as he was walking out of the barn, something started to beep. Wario looked down and saw that he stepped on a landmine, his foot had pressed a red button which also activated the others.
"Oh shit!" Wario moaned.
KA BOOM! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Blown up and sent flying again, Wario screamed with rage, why would the owner of a farm set up landmines near his own barn?
Wario landed in a soft dirt patch within a grassy field, he could see smoke in the distance and knew it was from when the bombs went off. Wario rolled his eyes, why was he getting blown up today?
Ping ping ping ping! Wario got up and, when he saw a metal box next to him and looked at it, he screamed. It was another bomb. "Why?" Wario moaned.
BOOOM!
Caught in the explosion, Wario felt more hurt than ever, it hurt more when he was sent flying into the air again and ended up crash landing on something metal. Looking at his surroundings, that's when he saw he'd landed in a Bob-omb warehouse.
At once, a group of Bob-ombs in a box came alive and lit their fuses when they saw Wario. Hundreds more woke up and their fuses lit, the active walking bombs surrounded the crazy fat man before all exploding at once.
The warehouse exploded, leading to Wario receiving more injuries and burns as he was launched into the air before landed in the burning ruins. "I hate this day!" He moaned. To ruin his day even more, a surviving Bob-omb came online along with a few more.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
By the time the dust cleared, Wario felt as though his hands had been burned off and he'd suffered some major brain damage. He got to his feet, struggling to stay conscious. How many times did he have to endure getting blown up today?
Treading carefully around the burning fires, Wario limped away from the ruins of the warehouse, his right leg felt achy and his left leg felt numb, his shirt was torn and his gloves were burned off. Even most of Wario's mustache had burned!
As for his poor hat, which was now in tatters, Wario had to get a new one.
What was Waluigi going to say once he found out?
Knowing it was going to be a long walk home, Wario decided to go home anyway. He needed to heal; this had been the worst walk ever. Hopefully it would blow over in the afternoon or things would get better tomorrow, maybe this was all a dream?
"Yup!" Wario grunted, thinking about that possibility, "All a dream, I'm probably still sleeping and Waluigi's already up. Then again, maybe he's gonna be laughing at me. Well, Wario, prepare to be laughed at by your brother."
As the humiliated plumber thief walked down the street, his legs got more and more tired. Wario had to sit down, maybe he could wait for a bus. That's when he noticed the nearby bus stop and nearby telephone box.
Crossing the street, Wario made it to the phone box and picked up the phone before phoning the bus company and asked for a pick up to his house. Feeling tired, he walked over to a nice, comfy bench and sat down.
That was when it turned out... the bench had ANOTHER BOMB! No sooner than Wario had sat down, the bomb activated, ticking down the seconds until detonation. Wario heard the bomb activating, a look of outrage and horror crossing his face...
"AHHHRRRRRRGH! I HATE BOMBS!" Wario yelled furiously.
KA BOOM! He was launched into the air by the explosion, more smokey than ever before. When Wario came down, he crash landed right through the roof of a bus that happened to conveniently show up at that second.
"Where to, good sir?" The Bus Driver asked.
"Take me home..." Wario moaned.
Off they went, driving around every street until they entered Wah-Wah neighborhood and Wario recognized the large-yellow house just ahead, asking the driver to stop.
Wario disembarked from the bus and limped to the house, finding Waluigi waiting for him. "WARIO!" Waluigi exclaimed, "What-a the heck happened to-a you?"
"Long story!" Wario said, starting to faint, "Let's just say I was unlucky!"
As Wario lost consciousness, Waluigi dragged him into the house and put him to bed, putting an ice bag on his head to help him feel better. Sitting by his brother's bed, all that Waluigi could do was scratch his chin in confusion...
THE END!