Chapter One

"No. It's okay. Really. No need to worry, Tousan." Tsuna assured as he put away the groceries that needs to be stored in the fridge.

"But you resigned and-"

He put the gadget between his ear and shoulder for better assistance in arranging things inside the ref with his both hands. "I have a new job, remember? I already had that for two months. I just told you now so you won't worry. And Hana is here."

"Fine. Just call me when things happen."

"I don't need to do that." Iemitsu was about to protest when he continued on. "You call for almost everyday so I don't need to take away the job from you."

Iemitsu laughed heartily. "You got me there."

"I always do." Tsuna answered before gripping the door of the fridge while he brought his hand back to the phone to clutch it. "So call me later again?"

"Yeah. Good day, Tunafish."

Tsuna's nose wrinkled at the nickname. "Buon giorno, Tousan."

Tsuna brought down the phone to the counter before leaning on the fridge. He tried to breathe out the heavy feeling settling on his heart, but it only made it worse. He looked inside the fridge again, took the carton of milk before closing the door. He went for the glasses to take one, sat on the stool by the island and poured himself some milk. Taking a sip on the cold beverage, he felt relief wash over his system even though it's only temporary.

It doesn't feel right. It's not good feeling lonely after talking with his parent on the phone. He should be grateful that his father is well enough to call him despite his busy schedule. Besides, his father, Iemitsu Sawada, was never the type of person to break promises.

Tsuna shook his head before getting up. He put the glass on the sink, deposited the milk in the fridge again before taking his hoodie from the counter and went out of the apartment.

He walked in the busy street of the city, tugging his long sleeves in place to hide the bandages that covers his arms. He looked up in the gray sky before sighing. The sky is sympathizing with him again.

When his mother, Nana Sawada, was hospitalized with a heart disease, he felt like the world cut off its connection with him. It never occurred to him that his mom will get sick. The woman was a sunshine, always facing him with a beaming smile, talking to him with gentleness, providing him with utmost care and showering him with love since the day he was born till the day she breathed her last breath.

He can still remember the day he cried beside his mother's deathbed. It was painful. Almost as if his heart was forcefully being pulled out from his chest, from its blood vessels, and from its comfortable haven. But what pained him the most was when he told his Father that his wife died. Seeing him cry in front of her picture as they did her wake, seeing him so lifeless and almost good as dead with his fake smiles... It was painful.

Tsuna didn't really meet his father. The man is always away, home once a year and barely in the house for a month. Maybe for a week even. He only met him from his mom's stories and his voice on the phone. In his sixteen years of existence in Earth, he never knew his father nor told him anything about himself.

So imagine the awkward air between them after the wake. Tsuna couldn't even look at the man in his eyes. He felt like his father is a stranger to him. When Iemitsu asked him what's wrong, why is he avoiding him, he told him the reason with honesty. He didn't care if he was being insensitive, rude or harsh. He needs to make the man realize that they're the only ones left in their little family yet they barely know each other. Thankfully, Iemitsu got what he was saying and understood it. So they settled in a little agreement...

Start new and forget their failed past father-son relationship.

The first thing they did was make his Dad leave work for three months. At first Iemitsu was reluctant. He was too. But they need to do it for the sake of their almost gone family, so he did it. And those three months were memorable as they are.

And now, they're closer. It's as if Iemitsu never left home. And for the past six years, they kept in touch with each other. But that didn't stop the gnawing feeling of loneliness he feels.

Living alone for five years since he was sixteen wasn't that good. He kept the feeling of loneliness inside him, bottled and stored. Whenever someone wants to leave his side, he just let goes. He can't do anything about it. He's not their boss nor he can even change their minds. They have their own wills, own thoughts and own decisions to make. And he'll be just there to support them.

Sometimes he thinks that he didn't just inherit his Mom's looks. He wasn't anything like Iemitsu. He was the living male copy of his Mom. Brown hair, brown eyes, even his physique is feminine like. He was small for his age, almost scrawny too. He was bullied for it since he was in elementary until high school.

But like he said, he thinks he also inherited his Mom's personality. The patience she always shows. He wasn't the type to fight back. He doesn't want to hurt others. He was more of the patient one, who wait till everything is over. Some can call it masochism. Maybe his mom was a masochist. Being able to wait so long for his dad to come home under the stabbing pain of everyday realization and negative thoughts that he all know well that will stay forever, his Mom is a strong woman to boot.

And maybe... Just maybe his loneliness is nothing compared to his Mom's loneliness.

Tsuna sighed. It's not just the loneliness he's afraid off, it's the pain. The pain of being alone, abandoned and forgotten. The pain of being lost. Being the odd one of all normal people. For years he has been searching for fellow people who can understand him. And he hasn't found anyone. Maybe he's not bound to find those people who can sympathize with him.

Perhaps... He's destined to be alone.

Thus he already gave up on searching for them, only thinking of himself and those people who care about him too.

Tsuna placed the two bowls of rice on the table before removing his waist apron and put it on the counter. After straightening his clothes, he looked at a specific room that he can view from the kitchen. He sighed before walking towards it, crossing the living room to get there.

It's his housemate's, Hana Kurokawa, room. The said lady is a lawyer for two years already. A woman of dignity and pride. She has this black hair that used to be long but now is shoulder length and curled at its end. She usually hates men, calling them monkey because they're uncontrollable and very 'stupid'. Fortunately, the lady deemed that Tsuna is beyond their average, thus she calls him by his name. They were high school classmates and became housemates when Tsuna offered her home when she was looking for one.

Tsuna stood in front of the door and knocked three times. He heard a faint 'come in' from the other side so he opened the door. A sight greeted him. Hana is packing her things. There are two suitcases already ready and she's putting some clothes in a big bag.

His heart clenched as his head throbbed.

Hana is going somewhere far.

"Hey Tsunayoshi." Hana greeted, glancing at his way.

Tsuna crossed the room, took some of his housemate's clothes and started helping her. "I cooked. Want to eat first before we do this?"

"Hmm?" Hana looked at him, stared for some seconds before nodding. "Sure."

Tsuna smiled.

The two went to the dining room to eat. They did their usual routine: eat while asking the other how's their day, did they saw someone interesting and talk about something not related to their day. They've been doing that since Hana lived in the apartment. Whenever the lady is running late, Tsuna will always be there to give her some food before she can go. Food was mandatory for Tsuna and Hana knows that.

After eating and doing the chores, Tsuna helped Hana with her things. They didn't converse nor brought up any topic. They just did their work in silence. When Hana told him that she got the bathroom things, Tsuna went for the kitchen to cook her something homemade.

Hana glanced at her brunet companion. The twenty-two year old man is sitting on one of her three suitcases, keeping her company as she waits for the car of the firm she's currently working at. She stared ahead, resisting the urge to look at her watch. No. Not to count how many minutes late the car is. She just doesn't want to know how many minutes, even seconds, she has left to be with Tsuna before she leaves. It'll break her heart.

It fascinates her how strong-willed her housemate is. To be able to control himself from asking her where is she going, why is she packing, is she ever coming back and many more... There's so much control. And to be honest with herself, she never saw him loss control of his composure. He's always calm and collected, be it in preparation for something, dealing things during everything, or facing straight on the aftermath of anything.

She always asked herself if Tsuna ever felt sad whenever someone leaves his side. Because she saw him send them off with a smile and a wave. She always sees him just standing there and wait for the car to disappear when it rounded the corner or just straight on with its path. And she never heard him beg for them to stay nor ask them to postpone something. Tsuna was always the supportive one. The everlasting patient man she ever knew.

When she's frustrated, he's there to listen to her rant. When afraid of something, he'll encourage her. When she's disappointed, sad or dejected, he's there to cheer her up. Tsuna was always there... Sympathizing when he knew how it feels and understanding the situation when he doesn't know what really happened. When she's lashing, he'll silently accept them. No complain, no sound.

"Tsunayoshi." Hana called.

"Hmmm?" Tsuna hummed in question.

"Did you ever do something selfish in the past?"

She felt Tsuna look at her. "Why are you asking?"

Hana shrugged.

"Well I did." She looked at him by corner of her eyes. "All of us do." She heard him whispered in addition.

"If I do something selfish today, what will you do?"

Tsuna cupped his chin as he hummed in thought of an answer. "If it's for a good cause, I'll support you. If it's for a bad cause, I'll tell you to stop. But if you don't want to be stopped and you really want to do it, I'll support you."

"What if I decline this promotion and stay instead?"

Tsuna looked at her.

"I got transferred to Osaka with indefinite stay. I don't even know if they'll take me back here. And I don't want to leave you alone in that big room."

"It's okay, Hana." She faced Tsuna who gave her a soft smile. "You love your work. And Japan is not that big. We can always visit each other or meet up in a place for a quick catch up if ever we're in the same place. And you're not being selfish. You're just being true to yourself. Doing what you love and what you want is not selfish. Staying here and wanting to keep me company is not selfish also. But if I were to give you an ultimatum, I'll persuade you to go. I won't die here."

"But Tsunayoshi-"

"Treat me parfait or any delicacies in Osaka next time if ever we meet there." Tsuna said with a bright smile.

Hana stared at him before faking an angry huff as she looked away. She need to be in control of her emotions, just until she's alone in the car with the driver for her to cry her heart out. "Fine."

Tsuna watched the car drove off. He gave a small wave with a smile when he saw his ex-housemate look back to him. Heartclenching but he needs to bear it.

Hana reminded him everything like a mother would have. She told him to take care of himself, never skip meals, clean the house always and stay away from strangers. They hugged for almost two minutes (if he counted right) and assured each other that they'll be fine, that everything will be okay.

Tsuna's hand went limp as the car gets smaller and smaller in his sight. He breathed a heavy sigh and looked down on the ground. He remembered Hana's question awhile ago. About doing something selfish.

He wants to laugh. Really. If being selfish is to be questioned, he's already doing it. He sent her away even though he wants to beg her to stay, but he didn't. How so? Because it's for their own good. No. He's really being selfish. Selfish to the point that he drives every single person out of his life and never ever let them stay, beg even, for his sake. Because he knew everything is temporary.

But not his unbearable pain.

Instead of going inside his apartment building, he started to walk in the street. He doesn't care if it's near midnight. He just doesn't wanna go back to that silent dark room of his for just an hour or so. He wants to have a little breather before he suffocates himself again.

He walked aimlessly. He looked around and estimated the time to be already past midnight. Sighing through his nose, he sat on the pavement as he let himself drown in the cool wind, the silence and the darkness. The street has no people in it and every store is closed. But it's better than his apartment. This place is vast, while inside there felt like a small box.

He combed his hair with both hands and was about to sigh again when he heard some shouting and some flesh beating. His breathe hitched. Standing up, he looked at the alley just three meters away from him. He thought of running but his head throbbed in pain. He groaned low and softly not to be heard by the people fighting just not far away from him.

His head is kind of have this alien thing. He has it since he was five. It's the sole reason how he survived his elementary till college life. It can tell him danger and when something is wrong. Just like how he concluded awhile ago that Hana is going away somewhere far. In some instance, his head will tell him to do things out of whims. Like buying a walking stick. But it has purposes too in the future. Like his mom used the walking stick to walk around when she couldn't even take a step forward.

And now, it's telling him to go and see the fight than run away. He sighed and went with it. He doesn't have any choices, does he?

Tsuna slowly walked towards the side of the alley. He looked inside to see what's happening. His eyes grew big when he saw people surrounding a man in simple black suit. The man in suit has raven black hair and Chinese features. But what really caught Tsuna's eyes are the bruises the man has and the blood running down from his head.

He has to help him.

Tsuna took a deep breath before going out of his hiding place and walked towards them. Calm and confident. He took another deep breath before kicking the back of the knee of the nearest person to him. He punched the other one before knocking out the kneeling guy by giving a chop on his nape. He eyed the people in front of him before gazing at the battered man in suit.

"Either you scram or I'll knock you all out, your choice." He threatened.

All of them chose the former, leaving the two of them in there after taking their fallen companions. Tsuna took note of their identities as they go. He then hurriedly stepped forward to catch the man when the latter tipped towards him. He rubbed the man's back before taking his phone and started contacting a person he knew so well.

"Shamal-san. I need your help."

"How is he?" Tsuna asked in worry.

"He's fine. A little beaten up but fine." Shamal answered before eyeing him. "You're finally searching for guardians?"

Tsuna stared at him in horror. "No! Why would you conclude that?!"

"The guy is a cloud, Tsuna."

Tsuna winced. "I didn't know. Maybe my head sensed it that's why it told me to help him."

"And why are you outside at this kind of hour?"

"I was unwinding. Thank you for the help, Shamal-san. You're a life saver."

The man scoffed. "It's my job, dumbass."

Tsuna just chuckled before entering the room. He stared at the door first before closing it behind him. The room is big and a little colorful. Almost like a room for kids. He walked towards the man on the bed and sat on the stool beside the bed. Reaching out, he removed the hair out of the patient's face and smiled in relief.

He didn't expect the outcome of his night. He really thought he'll go back to his room after his walk. Who would have thought that he'll spend his night in an hospital, looking after a man he took responsible of?

Tsuna is already thanking the heavens for giving him the alien in his head.