Love Struck Delusion

Chapter 132 – Give me something.

Raptor's POV.

Zeta managed to relax after we got our food. I got steak and she got grilled chicken. As for Molly the manager actually got her some ground beef. To be honest I was surprised he did anything at all. I didn't even have to ask. As we ate I kept to myself when it came to conversation. I didn't intend to make her relive her past a few minutes ago. It just happened. But part of me hoped it was good for her. I was sure she wasn't ever around someone who would actually listen to her. But god was I now worried about her life. A global contract. I thought I just had to be worried about the one PMC getting involved. But if it really is common information to know all about her case, then who is to know how many others will come? I would have to be really careful from here on out. Telling anyone would put her in danger. Even Archer can't know. He just can't. No one can. Raze is fine. But anyone without a personal stake is forbidden.

"Raptor?" Looking up at the wolf, I saw she was halfway done eating. As she got my attention she said with a low tone.

"It's okay to ask about what happened. It's not like I can hide it from you. I don't have a right to. Your the only person who has ever given me a chance like this. By now most would have thrown me back out there after getting what they wanted."

Putting down my fork I replied.

"At first this was about getting what I wanted Zeta. I'll be honest with you."

Our eyes locked as I went on to say.

"When I met you I thought you were crazy. Insane even. How you put together that whole trap on our way to the airfield and how you got off on it. I still think your nuts. By the way." I told her as she smiled.

"Along the way you found out the hard way about my past. You've been there. You've listened and you haven't ran off yet so I assume somewhere along the lines you get off on being around equally crazy people."

Again Zeta smiled and with time I went on to say.

"I have thousands of people looking to me for answers. Answers I don't have. I hate not being able to help everyone. If I could I would. Look at what Raze said to me for example. You two are the only people that know about what I am. What I can do. I don't know the extent to how much I heal. I don't know what I am, but if I could I would cure everyone out there. From here to the states. I would. But you saw what it does to me. It nearly knocks me out. Just to seal some wounds. If I could cure diseases I would, but I fear if I try it would kill me. I'm stuck in a place where I feel that no matter what I do I will die. I go to war I could die. I try to help I could die. Hell if I try to just focus on myself I could die. Everyone wants me dead. Or at the very least I want me dead."

"What do you mean?" She questioned as I let out a sigh to lay back in the booth.

"You know what I mean."

"You want to die?" She then asked bluntly as I shut my eyes.

"What's so wrong in saying yes to that question?" I asked her as she calmly replied.

"Its wrong when you still got so much time left. And it's wrong when you got so much left to live for."

"Like?" I wondered as she gave me a look that asked if I was serious about asking that question. But keeping her cool she replied.

"For starters you need to finish dealing with Linnen and Gorgon. Then after all that you need to help this country grow. And after all that don't you want to start over?" She asked me as I immediately questioned.

"Start what over? My personal life? Another family? Zeta after everything that has happened I think starting over is just out of the question."

Now she looked at me with sadness to reply.

"Everything that has happened is because of this stupid war. It has nothing to do with you. It's just the fucked up reality we are forced to live in. Your the one person who is actually able to make things better. So make them better and when the time comes just give it another try. I know it's hard after losing so much. I can't imagine it. But there is still hope. Not just for you. But for someone else to help you through this."

Looking at the wolf I then asked.

"There isn't anyone out here left that would be willing to give me that kind of a chance Zeta. I have nothing to offer. No skills to fall back on. All I know is how to lead soldiers and kill men. Even after this is all over and even if I wanted to start over, there isn't anyone left who is crazy enough to put their future in a man like me."

"What about me?" She then asked as I widened my eyes slightly to go silent. Zeta just smiled now as she saw my reaction. Slowly I forced myself to ask.

"What about you?"

"What if I was crazy enough to trust you with my future? I already am." She stated as I questioned.

"Even if I end this war. When it comes to that time Zeta and I help you with your contract. Don't you just want to go home? Go find your sister? Don't you have family somewhere else? Don't you just want to leave all this senseless running behind and just go live your life?"

"Raptor when it happens. If it happens. If somehow you find me a way out of this contract. I can't imagine any other place I'd want to be other then by your side. My sister...I don't even know if she's alive. And if she is I have no way of finding her. My mother and father died during my time with the army and anyone else who is left is probably long gone and forgotten about me. Going home would just put me in a spot where I wouldn't know what to do with myself. At least with you I feel like we can put one and one together and make something happen. Even if that something is just as crazy as us." She stated with a wide smile as I now just looked at her. What could I say to that response? I asked myself as she just waited for anything to come out of my mouth. Seconds turned into minutes as I tried to think of something to say to her. Zeta continued to eat, but she just watched me patently as I was clearly lost now.

"Zeta I...I don't know what to say."

"I can tell." She replied with her now normal smile as I just faintly gave her one back.

"I know you want to just quit when this is all over. You have more then enough of a reason to. But when it is over; I don't have anywhere else to go. I know you might not want to start over but at least now you know if you ever decided you wanted to, I'll be there for you. Even if it's just a shoulder you need to lean on." She stated as I looked to Molly who was now back to my side of the booth.

Looking back to the wolf I replied.

"Zeta."

Our eyes locked as she urged.

"Don't say shit. Just think about it. Okay?" She urged me as I smiled and just nodded my head to reply.

"Okay."

With things going quiet between us, the manager came back to our table to ask.

"How was the food?"

"Really good." Replied Zeta as I asked.

"Can we get the check?"

Handing me his small notebook he replied.

"Of course. Here you are sir."

Going into my wallet, I pulled out a hundred dollar bill and urged.

"Keep the rest. Consider it a thank you from her." I said as I referred to Molly. The manager immediately smiled and replied.

"Thank you sir! You two take care now!"

Zeta kept her eyes on me as I watched the man leave the table. After he was gone, I looked to her to ask.

"You want to get out of here?"

Nodding she replied.

"Sure. Where do you want to go?"

Grabbing onto Molly to put her back on my shoulder, I replied.

"Let's go get that drink."

That was enough to get the girl moving and in seconds we found ourselves back outside and at the truck. Once ready to go, I got on the road and tried to think about where to go next. Finding a drink wasn't going to be hard. The issue was now how I felt.

Zeta's POV.

Raptor was at the wheel and I could tell if anything I had him rattled. It wasn't my intent, but the truth is the truth. I never had a boyfriend or anything of the sort my whole life. Well...once when I was really young and dumb, but nothing like this. With him I felt different. I really am confident in my choice to say something to him. He made it too perfect not to.

Not to mention he made me feel this way. I ran through a battlefield for him. I held him in my arms in the middle of a sandstorm trapped in a fucking truck that was upside down. I wouldn't even do that for any of the men I had to serve with back home. Hell before this I couldn't even imagine the idea of being trapped with a man. Let alone one like him. Let alone in a place like this. What started out as a contract in my mind now was something more and I liked it.

As we drove I questioned if I should say anything else. I didn't know what else to say other then how I felt. Raze would kill me if she heard what I had said. But regardless this was still our night to have. God knows how long I have left till I'm in danger again.

With silence the only thing going on between us, I looked out the window as Raptor brought us to a stop. Once parked he began to open his door. At which point he said to me.

"Let's do this then."

Smiling I got out with him and followed him into a small store. At which point I found out we were out a place that sold nothing but alcohol. At which point he said.

"Go to town. It's on my tab after all."

This wasn't going to be hard. I knew what I wanted and in minutes I had found it. A large bottle of Russian whiskey. A bottle I haven't had the pleasure of seeing for at least two years. As I grabbed one Raptor asked.

"What's that?"

Showing it to him I replied.

"Detrovski. It's a whiskey that's known to be one of the strongest among the Russian people now days. I use to drink this back when I was still home. Not surprised it's still being sold worldwide. Nothing else compares."

Handing me a hundred dollar bill Raptor then urged.

"Go pay for it then."

Taking the money I asked.

"Since when are you loaded?"

Keeping a straight face he replied.

"It's money Shadow gave me before he died. I only have a few thousand left."

"A few thousand?" I questioned with a chuckle as he nodded.

Giving him a smirk, I made my way over to pay. As soon as I was done Raptor had the door and we left. As we got back outside I asked.

"What now? Back to the capital?"

Looking up at the moon he replied.

"I got a better idea."

"Really? What?" I wondered as we walked back to the truck.

Getting to his side of the truck he replied.

"Just trust me."

Giving him a smile, we got back on the road and as we got driving I began to notice he was heading for the border. In confusion I asked.

"What you planning?"

Raptor just kept silent as we soon neared the gate. I knew he was up to something, but I decided to just let it happen. Stopping at the gate he got out and I followed. Molly kept on his shoulder as some of the soldiers manning the gate began to notice him. No surprise as he stopped at the officer who stood near the gate controls. I kept close as he asked.

"Can you open up?"

"Yes sir." He replied as the officer gave the word to his men. Waiting till the gate was opened, Raptor then looked back at me to urge.

"Come on."

"What are we doing?" I asked him again as he just ignored me and got back in the truck. Taking my seat again, we soon left the gate and were on our way down the road. The road was the only thing left clean. Bodies were still being picked up and more then a few squads of Raptor's men still did their best to wait on the lines in case of another attack. They watched as we drove by and soon outside the city limits, I heard him say.

"Last thing I want to do right now is go back to the capital and deal with the war. While things are settling down between both sides, I want to at least do this once before I lose the chance."

"Do what?" I wondered as he pulled us off the road and into the dunes in a matter of seconds. Bracing myself as we drove directly up and over some hills, I watched and waited as the city soon lost sight on us. I wasn't worried. I was just curious as to what he was thinking. With the full moon and nothing but stars overhead, Raptor soon brought us to a stop. In front of us was another large dune. It had to be the largest around. At least twenty feet taller then most; and opening his door he looked to me to urge.

"Come on."

Grabbing my bottle, I got out to follow the guy. The open ground was nothing short then beautiful. The air was just the right amount of cool and the starlight above made everything look so peace and tranquil. It was clear to me at this point that this is what he wanted to do. The fact became even more clear when Raptor stopped at the very peak of the mound to look up at the sky. Coming to his side I said while looking up with him.

"It's gorgeous."

A smile came over him as he just calmly replied.

"It is. Isn't it?"

Without another word Raptor sat down. I watched him as he laid on his back to just look up.

"Come on. Don't be shy. Take a seat."

I felt a little weird about this moment. In the beginning I wasn't expecting him to do something like this. I knew however this was something he intended to do the second we left the store. Sitting down next to the hedgehog, I put the bottle down between us as Molly got right alongside his head to bark.

"Braf!"

I just smiled as he looked to her to urge.

"Go have fun for a little baby. Just don't wander too far."

"Braf!" We both then watched as Molly ran her way down the dune. I had to sit up as she quickly lost her footing and turned into a small tumble.

"Oh god Molly!" I chuckled as she quickly got back up to keep running. With Raptor back at looking to the stars, I glanced over to him as he wondered.

"Alicia and I use to do this kind of thing back before all this. She always complained how boring I was for never wanting to take her out after we had Ghost. But one night I decided to. Turned out to be one of the best things I ever did with her."

"What about Julie?" I then asked as he kept his smile to reply.

"Kinda the reason I started doing this at all in the first place. We both just came out here to watch the night pass us by. Sometimes we wouldn't say a word to each other. We were just happy to be together. Like that's all that mattered."

I didn't know what else to say as it was clear it was my turn to partake in the cycle. Laying down on my back only a few feet apart, I went on to say.

"I didn't take you for the romantic type to be honest."

Chuckling he replied.

"You ask me I'm not. I just like spending some time away from all the drama. Up till now my focus was on the war and on Gorgon. Now that I got those things on hold for at least tonight, I figure there is no better time then now to enjoy a few minutes in peace among the one thing that makes this desert great."

I now watched the stars with him as he went on to say.

"The view. Reminds me that there are still things worth living to see out here."

"It is worth it." I replied as he nodded.

After some time Raptor asked.

"When we were at that hotel with Hecan. Can I ask you what he said about your situation other then Pepper being alive maybe?"

"What does it matter?" I wondered as he calmly replied.

"After everything you've said about her, I can't believe for even a second that she sold you out. If anything I think she's on the run same as you. Issue is she probably thinks your dead. I mean that would make the most sense."

I went silent as I thought about what he was saying. After a few seconds I said.

"Hecan has a hunch she's still out there. But he doesn't know for certain. All he really does know is that between Tusk, myself, Zeak, and her. We were the only ones to get out. He knows Tusk didn't say anything and he knows I've been on the run since the start. So between her and Zeak it's the only other option into how it all happened. But Hecan is certain Zeak is probably dead. We both know he didn't run the night of the bombing. So that leaves only Pepper who went off the grid not soon after I left Russia to see him in person."

"You think she would do that to you?" He then asked as I gave the question some thought to soon reply.

"I would like to believe that Pepper and I were close. Even if we were sisters battling to be the better in our fields. But same as Hecan I can't turn down the fact that she was the only other person to walk away alive after it all happened."

"I think I know how to find her." He then said as I sat up with wide eyes to questioned what he said with a mix of confusion and utter shock in my tone.

"What? What do you mean?"

Without looking to me Raptor replied.

"When I use to work for G.U.N all those years back. When I killed my family. I didn't just walk out of that trouble. I had help. A man I met only once. He was G.U.N's lead intel officer. Goes by the name Watts. He knew the trouble I was in and he covered for me when the rebellion came around asking questions. I only got out cause of him."

"How do you know him?" I then asked as he quickly replied.

"He was my wife's younger brother. Julie's brother. That's how we met in the first place. He was working with her at the time of my father's passing. He knew she loved me and to be honest I think he only wanted her to be happy. That's why when it all happened he was the first to step up and help me escape what I had done. He knew I made her happy and he knew if I was killed or arrested Julie would be broken. So he helped me all he could and without him I probably would be dead."

Slowly looking to me Raptor went on to say.

"Last I heard from him was when Shadow won the country it's freedom after the first war. I'm sure he's still around. Probably looking for a way to get back at G.U.N for killing his sister."

"He never came to you when it happened?" I questioned as he shook his head.

"I think he lost it when he found out she was killed. Cause last I heard he was hunting down the people responsible. That was well over ten years ago. By now he's probably back to his old ways and is collecting everything he can to put G.U.N in a tight spot."

"You think he can find my sister?" I then asked in a serious tone as he nodded.

"I think if anything he can track down her last location. All we would need to do is find him. That and convince him to help. I'm sure he has a few words for me if he was to see my face again in person. Besides that I would need you to come along. Show him the contract out for your head. Cause I'm willing to bet if your sister is running she probably has one out on her head as well. At the least this is a chance to try. That's if your willing to trust me."

"Raptor I don't know what to say. Other then won't this put you in danger?"

Raptor went silent and without more then a few words he replied.

"We can wait till Linnen is under control. With everything in Pakistan going to shit and him losing Afghanistan I'm sure we have at least enough time to go pay him a visit before another battle breaks out."

"What if he does find her?" I then asked as he looked back to me to reply.

"Then I'll do everything I can to make sure you two are safe. Even if that means I have to go out of my way to make it happen."

"Raptor?" I said with a sad tone as he went silent to look back at the at stars.

I was the one all the sudden rattled. Raptor just kept his eyes up as I gave the idea some thought. After some time I laid back down and he asked.

"So?"

"We might just be wasting our time." I replied as he then said.

"Or you might get your sister back. What's more important to you?"

Letting out a sigh, I focused on that question. Up till now I thought she was dead and I wanted to keep it that way. But what if she was alive? What if she was out there running like me all this time? I don't want her being alone. Looking over to the war torn hedgehog who kept himself staring at the stars I replied.

"Let's try."

Smiling he said with a happy tone.

"Good. I'll have to make some calls but give me till tomorrow. I'll have something for us to go on."

"What do we do till then?" I wondered as he looked to the bottle between us to reply.

"I have an idea."

Smiling I sat back up as he did the same. Taking the bottle Raptor undid the top and gave it a sniff. Immediately he shook his head to say.

"Wow."

"Hehe." I laughed as he gently took a swig. I just watched as he handed me the bottle to swallow. Taking it from his hand, I continued to watch as he clearly felt a burn going down his throat. After which he reopened his eyes to look at me and say.

"That's strong shit. No joke."

"Told you." I replied as he then urged.

"So show me how it's done then wolfy."

Raptor's POV.

Zeta didn't even react to the name. She was just focused on taking her punches and I watched with a smile as she did. Taking two more gulps then what I did, I actually was surprised she could handle that. That drink wasn't a joke. I drank whiskey before but that stuff is definitely Russian in manufacturer. After her gulps, Zeta lowered the bottle and coughed once to say.

"I think it's gotten a bit stronger since I last had it."

"Or maybe your getting old." I replied as she handed me back the bottle.

Looking down the dune as I took it back, I watched as Molly was just running around as fast as she could. If she kept going at that rate she was bound to sleep the whole night away. Taking another sip, I stared up at the stars as the burn slowly made it's way down my throat. After which I handed back the bottle and waited as she took another swig. Zeta was clearly better at this. No surprise. With silence among us as we just focused on the good time, I widened my eyes as I was hit once more with another chunk of pain coming from the back of my head. This time however I bit my tongue and just shut my eyes and looked down at the sand between my legs. Zeta who just continued to drink, soon noticed and asked.

"You okay?"

Opening my eyes, I noticed my vision went blurry all the sudden. After a few seconds it came back to me and I looked over to the wolf to reply with an unsure tone.

"I think so."

"You want to go back?" She wondered as I shook my head to reply.

"No. Not yet. There's still something I want to do." I told her as she gave me a curious look.

mT Shadow.