Love Struck Delusion

Chapter 133 – From one friend to another.

Zeta's POV, An hour later.

With a bottle of whiskey halfway drank and resting between my legs in the truck, I looked back out the window to see Raptor standing motionless in the graveyard.

The world seemed quiet for some reason. Like this was a moment that really mattered. I didn't know what to do however. After our time out in the desert Raptor said this was something he had to do. Part of me understood. But another part of me felt like this was a bad idea. I don't know why. He just shouldn't have to remember this part of his past. If it really was what made him into what he is now. All the memories there for him to recall.

As I sat here in silence I looked to myself in the mirror. I was already well into a good night. The bottle left me feeling halfway drunk and the other half battled to make sense. My hair found itself in my face, covering my left eye. Gently I reached up and moved it aside to look at myself directly.

"Braf!"

Looking over to the drivers seat, I rested my eyes on Molly. Even her face and mood seemed off by this moment. She was concerned. She kept trying to look out the window towards him as I knew this was bothering even her. Looking back to the mirror I got a good look at myself.

To others I was nothing more then another girl. I was simply that to begin with. For once I was out of armor and left vulnerable. I felt like I was missing half of my body without it. That's when I realized I knew I felt safe for once in my life. Ever since this started I never left that armor. Now nearly a week in to meeting this man I found myself a different person. Or at least a girl who feels safe enough to open up. Another thing I wasn't good at. But still Raptor seemed like he understood everything about me. I guess that's why he is always so calm.

Running my fingers along my scar, I let out a sigh and looked back out the window. Raptor still just stood there as I felt my heart sink. I had to do something. This couldn't be healthy. Even for a person like him. Looking to Molly I said.

"Stay here baby. I'll be right back."

Molly just looked at me as I got out of the truck. Shutting the door, I made my way into the cemetery and towards Raptor. Within feet I started to slow down my approach. His eyes just stared at the grave as I stopped carefully along his side. At which point he said.

"I know. I shouldn't be doing this. But I had to at least see him one more time."

Looking to the grave I saw it was Shadow's. Covered in flowers from the people of this country. It goes to show just how many people still love him. Even in death. Looking back to Raptor I listened as he said.

"Alicia said I wasn't ready last time I was here. She was right. I wasn't. And I still am not."

Taking my chance I reached for his hand to urge.

"Come on Raptor."

I tugged him gently as he didn't budge. After which he asked.

"Am I a bad guy?"

His eyes looked over to me as I was stuck at the question. I had no clue what to say as he looked to me for an answer. Shaking my head after some time, I replied.

"No."

Raptor gently smiled as I kept his hand wrapped around mine. Looking back to the grave he said with a sad voice.

"I'm sorry. If I had listened maybe. If I would have just believed you. Maybe you would still believe alive."

Tears began to leave his eyes as I widened mine in shock. He was breaking.

"Raptor please." I begged him as he fell to his knees. My hand was ripped away from the force he dropped himself with and in utter shock I watched as he cried out.

"God damn it! Why didn't I just listen!?"

I had to do something. Quickly getting down on my knees with him, I reached and grabbed him by the shoulder. At which point he shouted to himself.

"You'd still be here if I had just trusted you! You'd be the one doing this! Not me! Not me!"

Sending his fist into the dirt I begged.

"Stop Raptor! Stop please!"

Bending over and putting his head onto the ground, I leaned forward to grab both his shoulders. The only thing that could be heard was his sobs as I was left with utter confusion on what to do now. I could only watch as he was letting it out. Through his tears I heard.

"If I would have just seen him! If I could have helped!"

"See who?" I asked in desperation as he quickly pulled his head up. Dirt covered his forehead as he turned to look at me right in my eyes to reply.

"Death! God damn death!"

I was at a loss for that answer. Slowly I questioned.

"Who?"

Without moving his body Raptor replied.

"Death! He's the reason Shadow killed himself! He wasn't crazy! He was made that way by him!"

I didn't know what he was talking about. Still lost I questioned.

"What are you talking about Raptor?"

"You wouldn't believe me anyway Zeta! It doesn't matter now!"

With my focus now on him I replied.

"I wouldn't believe you? What gives you that kind of idea? You have done more then one thing that I up till this point in my life have believed to be fantasy Raptor. You saving my life being one of them."

Raptor just continued to cry as I begged him.

"You think Shadow is dead because you didn't believe in the things he had to say. Right?"

Raptor nodded his head without another word as I went on to urge.

"Then think about this for a second. What if you kill yourself tomorrow because I did the same thing?"

Raptor widened his eyes at the statement I just made as I reached back for his hand. Letting me take it I brought it to my leg to say.

"Right now I'm trapped between two things. Ether thinking that I'm in some kind of dream and I'm just waiting to wake up. Or that I'm truly trying to convince myself that your some kind of god with the powers you've shown me. The things you've done. Saving my life the way you did wasn't normal Raptor. You are something more then a man stuck in a war. You're something different. And I don't care at this point what that is. I just want to understand how. You have the answers. You're just scared I won't believe them. So do us both a favor and answer me when I ask again for the last time."

Raptor with wide eyes stared right at me as I asked with everything I had.

"What are you?"

Time seemed to stop as Raptor just kept his eyes on me. Tears rolling down his face as I waited for any sort of answer. Slowly he looked back down to his hands. At which point he replied.

"I don't know."

Letting his hand go, I watched as he brought it to his side. Focusing on the dirt now, Raptor went on to say.

"I didn't start out this way. I know that."

"What happened?" I asked as he took a moment to think. Looking around as he took his time. I was glad to see no one else was around for this.

"Do you believe in a higher power Zeta?" I was soon asked as I refocused to see him still staring at the ground. I knew the question he asked and softly I replied.

"I believe that everything in the world happens for a reason."

"But do you believe in gods? Demons?" He asked back as I gave the question some thought. With my answer coming slow, Raptor gently turned his head to look at me. At which point I replied.

"I don't know. Do you?"

No expression was on his face. He was just staring at me blankly. With the night sky above us he replied.

"Demons yes."

I gulped down some of my emotion as he then asked.

"Do you think demons are real Zeta?"

Instantly I replied.

"Like what? The grim reaper?" At that moment his face showed me understanding and replied.

"Yeah. Like the grim reaper. Cloak and all."

I was starting to sense Raptor's voice changing. It was getting cold and dark as I tried to think of what to say next. But before I could he wondered.

"What do you think happened when I killed my family for G.U.N? Did you think I could walk away from that sane? Like I would just be able to go on living with knowing what I did to them?"

I had my mouth shut as he asked.

"I wanted to kill myself Zeta. I wanted too so badly. But after Julie came into my life I gained a purpose to keep living. Then when Julie entered the picture everything started to get better. Do you know what happened though?"

Carefully I replied.

"You still couldn't forget."

Nodding he said with force.

"I begged for someone to help me forget. I screamed to the heavens for someone to help me Zeta. But what I got back was something more. More importantly I got back someone up till that day I thought a myth. I got death. The demon who deals in death and the suffering of others. A pure blooded demon who I thought legend up till he heard my calls and came to help."

I suddenly began to feel chills as Raptor put his hands on my shoulders to ask.

"A demon. Can you believe that?"

I didn't know what to do or what to say. I could only keep listening as he started to cry again. After which he released my shoulders to slump back down into his body. Without a change in his tone he said.

"He spoke to me that night. Told me if I killed Julie for his pleasure he would make me forget all I had done. So I did. That night when G.U.N broke into my home and had her in their arms, I didn't make that choice because I felt there was no other option. I made that choice because I truly wanted to forget."

"So you killed her. For him?"

Raptor nodded to himself. His hazel eyes watching me as I tried to put this all together.

After it was done he came to me again. Said I earned it. Said that our paths would cross again. Cause he believed a mortal like me would some day become a living demon like him. Like...?!

In nothing more then an instant of the sentence being cut off Raptor reached for his eyes. I broke out of my frozen state to watch as he growled with full force behind his voice.

"Aghhhhhhhh!"

Raptor immediately sent his body into the dirt and his head curled into his chest as his hands kept themselves on his eyes. In fear I asked.

"What's wrong Raptor?!"

Trying to get down to see his face, I widened my eyes as I saw blood coming out from under his palms.

His screams then turned into a growl. A growl that brought the shivers back to my body as it sounded like it was coming from a pure bred wolf. I never heard someone growl with that much pain. Placing my hands around his back I asked with a lost voice.

"Raptor what's wrong?! Talk to me!"

His body was cold. I could feel it. Like his skin was ice. With his growls slowing to a halt I began to sense his body calming down. I sat there waiting for any kind of confirmation that he was okay. But with his hands still holding his eyes closed he continued to let out deep breaths.

"Ahhhh...ahhhhh...ahhhhh." He breathed as I saw his hands pulling up.

"Raptor?" I said in fear as he replied.

"Zeta?"

Slowly he began to shake. With his hands falling down, I felt my heart skip at what I saw.

"Zeta I can't see." He stated as his eyes were black. The whole iris was black. His hazel color wiped away and all I saw was black orbs staring at the ground. Blood rolled out from under his eyelids as I was frozen in place.

"Zeta?" He said again as I had no movement in my body. I couldn't speak ether as his blood began to drip.

"Zeta!?" He shouted as his body was shaking beyond anything I could control.

I wasn't able to mutter anything more then some sounds. Sounds I couldn't even describe as I jumped on his shoulders to urge.

"Raptor I'm here! I'm here!"

Raptor at that moment shot his head right to where he heard my voice. His eyes locked on mine. My hands that held his shoulders began to shake as he said again in disarray.

"I can't see you Zeta! Help me!" He begged as I was stuck staring at him. The shivers going down my back were nothing compared to what I felt now as his hands reached for me. Grabbing my arm he shouted.

"Zeta! Help!"

I had to break this frozen state. Snapping back to reality I took his chest to beg.

"Calm down Raptor! Just calm down! Take a deep breath! I'm right here! Okay!?" I asked him as he had his hands on my arms. His grip was so tight but he had more then enough of a reason to be grabbing that hard. Nodding his head he replied.

"Okay! Okay! Don't let go of me!" He begged as I nodded back and replied.

"I got ya! Just breathe!" I urged him again as he started to breathe to himself. His eyes were darting around as he did. I felt powerless to help him as I knew he wasn't able to see anything. He was trying so hard to see something, but right now he had no other way of seeing other then holding onto me. After some quick breaths Raptor's body was shaking less and as calmly as I could I said.

"We need to get you back to the capital Raptor. Okay?"

Raptor nodded as fast as he could as I tried to stand us up. Raptor came up with me as I began to turn us for the truck.

"Just walk with me. Slowly." I urged him as we began to head for the truck.

"Zeta I can't see!" He said again as I felt my heart slipping deeper into a trench.

"I know. I know. One thing at a time Raptor, we need to get you home. Can you do that with me?" I asked him as we reached the truck in due time.

"I can! I can Zeta! Are we at the truck?!" He asked as I nodded and opened the side door.

"Yes. We're here. I got the door open for you. Can you feel your way in?"

Raptor was still bleeding as he attempted to feel for the door. Soon touching the top of the truck he replied while slowly leaning off of me.

"I feel it!"

"Okay good." I replied as I helped him in the seat.

Gently getting him in I said while getting the door.

"I'm going to drive. Okay? Just try to relax. Breathe. Your okay." I tried to tell him as he ran his hands to his eyes. Shutting them as he wiped his face. When I got around to the driver's side and got in he asked.

"Am I bleeding?!"

Molly had no clue what was happening. She was in the backseat this whole time as I got into the truck to reply.

"Stay calm." I replied as he reaching for his vest.

"What are you doing?" I asked him as he fumbled with the straps.

In a panic Raptor undid his vest and began to take off his shirt. With wide eyes I watched as he balled it up and placed it on his eyes.

"Drive!" He ordered me as I did my best to ignore the blood going through his shirt.

I had no other choice right now but to listen. Getting us on the road and on our way back to the capital, I repeatedly looked back at him. He kept his shirt pressed to his face as it was clear he was trying to calm down. I could see him breathing and in concern as we neared the main gates I asked.

"What do I do?"

His body was still shaking as he turned his head my way to reply.

"Get us in there and tell me when your going to park!"

"Okay." I replied as we stopped at the gate. With an officer approaching, I asked sticking my head out the window slightly.

"Can you open up?" Approaching us, the officer looked inside the truck to ask.

"What happened?" His face said it all. There was no hiding it. Raptor's shirt was covered in blood. Looking to the man I was stuck at what to say. With his eyes looking to me, I jumped my head around when Raptor shouted with a scary voice.

"Open the fucking gate!"

The man nearly jumped out of his skin at the tone he was given. It even had me scared slightly. Raptor's voice sounded almost feral as the officer immediately replied.

"Yes sir!"

Molly was now trying to get up front with us as the officer gave the order. In seconds the gate was opened and I drove us through. Pulling into the depot, I got us parked and turned to him to ask.

"Are you okay?"

He only gave me a single nod of his head. Then with what sounded like nothing more then depression he replied.

"I can't see anything Zeta. My eyes feel like they are on fire. And I'm bleeding. No I am not fucking okay!" He shouted out towards the end as I was doing my best to remain calm.

"What do I do? What if someone sees?"

Pulling down his shirt, but keeping his eyes closed. Raptor replied.

"Right now you need to get me to my room. Fuck anyone that sees right now Zeta! Just get me there!" He ordered as I sensed anger setting in his voice. Placing my hand on his shoulder I said with some equal force.

"I'm trying to help you here Raptor. Calm the fuck down."

Raptor quickly settled back down as I got out of my side of the truck to head around to his side. Opening the door I leaned in to order.

"Put your vest on."

Raptor without answering reached for it. Thankfully it was in his lap and with some effort he managed to strap it back on. Once he had the shirt back on his face did I ask.

"Ready?"

"Yeah." He replied as I helped him out. Getting on his feet outside the truck, Raptor urged with a calmer voice.

"Please get me there. Now Zeta."

"Okay." I replied as I began to walk us to the main door. Molly got out and paced herself alongside us as men around the perimeter began to notice what was going on. Raptor wasn't hiding anything. His shirt was covered in blood and some managed to drip all the way down to his neck. His fur was starting to adorn the red tint as we reached the main building in a matter of a minute. Once there I grabbed one side and opened it up to say.

"Careful."

Raptor knew there was a slight step up into the main building and carefully he stepped inside with me at his side. The guards who manned the main door immediately widened their eyes in confusion to what they were seeing and the officer on duty asked.

"What happened? Commander you okay?"

I tried to keep us moving. But it was slow. Slow enough for him to follow us as we made our way further inside. I had no answer, but Raptor tried. As best as he could he replied.

"I'm okay son. Go back to your post."

"Commander you're bleeding. Badly." He stated as he saw the shirt clear as day before him.

"I said go back to your post!" Shouted Raptor back as the man halted. Continuing to guide Raptor to the stairs I widened my eyes as Mason's officer door was opened.

"Shit." I mumbled as Raptor quickly ordered.

"Keep moving. Ignore everyone."

Inside the office was Mason himself. Along with at least twenty other rebellion soldiers. They were talking about something important I would think. But as I hesitated our movement, I soon caught the attention of Mason who broke off his speech to just stand up from his seat. In seconds everyone turned to look our way.

"Move." Ordered Raptor again as I kicked us into high gear. Not to my surprise Mason along with the men soon funneled out of the office. In almost a sprint Mason came around my side to shout.

"What happened!? Raptor!"

I wanted to stop but Raptor kept moving. Mason tried his best to get in the way but reaching around his side Raptor managed to catch Mason's shoulder to order.

"Mason back off!"

Mason knew something was wrong and followed us up till we reached his room. Raptor quickly found his way inside and almost immediately he shut the door. Almost locking me out, I managed to squeeze in just in time to hear him order.

"Lock it."

Doing what I was told, I locked the door and turned to refocus on the poor hedgehog. Stumbling to his bed Raptor sat down and tossed his shirt to the side in anger. I could tell he was getting enraged. The force he used to send the shirt to the other side of the room told me that much. Letting his head slump slightly into his chest, I asked.

"Are you okay?"

Raptor just sat there as I was left to wonder. Molly at his feet looking right up at him as I watched a few small drops of blood dripped down from his chin and onto his pants. I stood there, only feet away as he began to clutch his fists. Soon he began to shake and slowly I lowered my ears. To be honest I was scared. Molly sensed it almost instantly and came over to me. Hiding behind my legs, I kept my focus on Raptor as he brought up his right hand to place it over he right eye. Opening his left eye, I kept still as the black orb looked right at us.

mT Shadow.