AN: Thank you again to everyone who's reading/reviewing/enjoying this story! Your reviews make my day x.
This chapter was edited and re-uploaded on 30/07/2020
Gibbs sat in the cool quiet of his basement and tipped a handful of screws out of a mason jar, only to replace them with a couple of fingers of bourbon. He swirled it around the glass sides of the jar and took a sip. His eyes caught the scan photo Jenny had left him the week before and he slid it towards himself. He was going to be a father again and it didn't feel real. He ran his thumb over the monochrome image as he tried to get a handle on his emotions. Part of him was happy, he knew that much, it just happened to be mixed with fear and a side helping of turmoil as it rubbed against his past, and despite the early stage, he could feel himself getting attached. More than once he'd caught himself eyeing the pile of timber he had stacked neatly in the corner and mentally assembling it into a crib.
And then there was Jen. Working with her had been testing his resolve both physically and mentally, and between furtive glances and occasional touching they'd been avoiding their relationship entirely, even though the easy intimacy they'd shared still lurked below the surface. He could feel it and could tell she did too. DiNozzo had been watching them like a hawk. The fact that she looked so damn good wasn't helping either. Jen always looked good, a fact which played no small part in getting them where they were today, but he'd noticed changes. Her hair had started to grow out of the sleek bob she had cut it into by the end of their mission, and her face was just that little bit fuller and cheeks pinker. The fabled pregnancy glow suited her well, and as blindsided as he'd been by her announcement, there was a part of him that was feeling incredibly self-satisfied at being the one to do this to her. He smirked at the thought.
He'd been wracking his brain trying to remember how Shannon had been with Kelly but being a Marine on active duty had meant that he'd missed out on a lot.
Jen's proximity wasn't something he took for granted, but the idea that this time around would be full of firsts that he'd missed with Kelly felt bittersweet.
The currently undefined nature of his relationship with Jenny bothered him. That night she'd brought over the scan photo there'd been the distinct feeling that he could have pushed things further but had held himself back, and the fact that she left him still stuck in his craw. She'd caught him off guard in Paris, said things about feelings he'd been trying to ignore, and any adequate reply had got stuck in his throat. It was his fault she'd left, and he could see her face falling all over again in his mind's eye.
He swigged a mouthful of drink.
He wanted to protect her and keep her close, now more than ever. They were going to be a family.
He downed what was left of his drink and placed the jar loudly on the workbench, all thoughts of the 'f' word dredging up old cobwebs and dread.
He reached for the bottle and poured another measure into the jar.
But no matter what, whatever it took, he was going to be there, for all of this.
Tony strolled into the lab looking for his fellow recently acquired employee. He was bursting to talk to someone about the nature of Jenny's existence and other than Abby he had limited choices.
The woman in question would probably order his execution if he asked what he wanted to know, and knowing Gibbs she'd get it, and he'd be the one to carry it out. That left Pacci, but Pacci had laughed and told him to ask Gibbs. Then there was Ducky, who had flat out refused to elaborate further, which only left Abby, their recently acquired, domesticated goth and forensic scientist.
"Hey Abby," Tony called as he looked around the lab trying to locate her.
Abby's head popped up from behind her desk in an unnervingly perky fashion that clashed with her appearance. "What can I do for you, Tony?"
He walked over to her looking more than a little shifty and unable to shake the feeling that Gibbs might magically appear. "You hear about our new team member?" He asked, trying for nonchalance.
Abby gave him a calculating look. "Oh yeah, I've met her, she seems nice."
Tony scoffed. "Nice, she is not nice. I mean, how can someone be that doe-eyed and scary at the same time? But there's something weird going on there, don't you think?" he said, determined to persist with his line of inquiry.
Abby narrowed her eyes as she tried to gauge his angle. "Define weird."
"Well let's see. She's on our team yet she's basically assigned to desk duty, came with us to a crime scene the other day but looked like she was going to barf, and then Gibbs told her to go wait in the car! Can you believe that? He never lets anyone stay in the car. Then there's the fact that he's always checking up on her, he looks at his desk more often than he glares at me, and that's saying something. And it's really obvious, what with her desk being beside his, not across from it. Oh, and bathroom breaks, she's always wandering off in that direction, and the weirdest part of all is that Gibbs is just putting up with it like nothing is happening.
Abby's face split into a wide grin.
"What?" Tony asked, perturbed that she'd got something from his spiel that he'd missed.
"You're saying that you can't think of anything that would cause all of those symptoms?"
Tony frowned. "Symptoms? What symptoms" Realisation dawned across his face. "Ohhhh, symptoms." He grinned triumphantly. "I thought she was a little pudgy around the middle for someone that slim!"
"Don't let her hear you say that," Abby said, looking pointedly at the door.
"Well then that begs the question as to why she's even on our team if she's knocked up."
"Well for that you'd have to ask the question as to who did the knocking up."
Another grin spread across his face as the pieces slid into place in ways that seemed obvious now that he knew. "Oh that makes sense. They were on some kind of mission together in Europe before this, that must have been how it happened. It's kinda odd isn't it? I mean, I haven't known the guy long, but he really doesn't seem to be the kind of guy to do that."
"It's not that strange, he'll make a great dad."
"Yeah, but to get his partner pregnant. I'm just trying to think of my partner at Baltimore as a woman, eurgh," he said, making a face of disgust.
"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked sharply, having appeared silently in the doorway to the lab.
Tony flinched. "Yes boss, shutting up boss! I'll just...go and run down those plates Jenny found and stay out of her way, boss!"
Abby stood, beaming at Gibbs as Tony scarpered.
Gibbs sighed quietly. "What?" He asked, even though he knew, and If possible, her smile grew even wider. "Congratulations, Gibbs!" The goth said, throwing her arms awkwardly around him. He patted her on the back before attempting to extricate himself. "How exciting! You tell Agent Shepard that if she ever needs to take a break, she's always welcome in my lab!"
He gave her a half smile. "I'll tell her, Abs."
"Abs," she said, pondering the shortened name he'd just called her, "I like it. is it a boy or a girl?"
"Don't know."
"When's she due?
"August. The case, Abby," he said in a semi-futile attempt to get her off of his back.
"Of course," she said and turned back to her computer with a smile.
Gibbs looked at the time at the bottom of his monitor before shooting Jenny a pointed look, which she promptly ignored.
"Go home, Jen," he said and swivelled his chair to face her. It was 7pm, DiNozzo had left an hour ago, and as far as he was concerned, she should be eating or sleeping or something self-care related, and working overtime wasn't that.
"Only if you take your own advice," she shot back.
Gibbs looked at her balefully before standing up and grabbing his coat. He wasn't sure what her game was and quite frankly, he didn't care. "Walk to your car?" he offered.
Jenny pursed her lips as if she were considering arguing, but instead pushed herself away from her desk and stood up. "I take it the expression DiNozzo's had on his face all afternoon means he's figured it out?"
"Yup."
"Great," Jenny said, her voice and expression deadpan as she donned her coat. "How long until everyone in the building knows?"
"Oh, I give it until lunch time tomorrow," Gibbs commented dryly as they headed for the elevator. He jabbed the call button.
Jenny shook her head and smiled. "That guy is more Burley than Stan could ever hope to be." She said and smiled wryly, which in turn elicited a soft chuckle from Gibbs.
"Think we can fool DiNozzo into doing something scandalous so that no one notices us?" she asked, only half serious.
"Like what, Jen? They've been taking bets on us since before we left for Europe. Abby's excited."
"Well I'm glad someone is," she said as the elevator arrived.
Gibbs looked at her sharply, surprised by her statement. He'd expected her to have some reservations but hearing her actually say it had him somewhat taken aback.
She looked up at him with a weary expression and sighed. "It's all too uncertain for me to be excited, Jethro."
He put a hand on her shoulder and gave it what he hoped was a comforting squeeze. She held his gaze, but her expression remained uncertain. "How are we going to do this anyway?" She asked.
"What, have a baby?"
She scoffed. "Pretty sure we've got that part sorted. I meant more what are we going to do with it when it gets here."
"We love it, we take care of it."
"But what about us, are we together or apart in this?" Jenny said, charting a course straight into the elephant in the room.
"That's up to you."
"Is it?"
A rush of conflicting emotions rushed through him, jamming on exit. "You left!" He blurted too loudly as the elevator reached its destination and the doors opened, and the hurt at what had felt like betrayal was as fresh as ever.
"Can you blame me, Jethro? I confessed having feelings for you and you threw them back in my face. At that point, my career was looking more solid than anything you had to offer!" She hissed as they made for the exit of the building, attracting the stares of the security guards and a few fellow agents.
"Then why are you here, Jen?"
She whirled to face him; her cheeks flushed against the cool evening air. "You had a right to know, and I'm not going to deprive it of its father! I grew up with one parent, and I don't want the same for our child. My father meant everything to me. I also meant what I said in Paris, and that hasn't magically gone away because I got out," she hissed at him, her voice laced with venom.
"Got out! What does that make me, a mission that went bad?" he shouted as they neared her car.
"You know what I mean!"
He did, he just didn't want to. Gibbs ran a hand roughly down the bottom half of his face. He didn't so much blame her, but he was angry at her for forcing some of his most glaring flaws to the surface for examination. "It's hard, Jen," he ground out.
"You think it isn't for me?" she demanded; her voice dangerously low.
"It's not the same!"
"And how do you know? My father died, Jethro. He was all I had in the whole world, and he was framed as a criminal and then murdered. He gave his life to the army, he worked hard for the respect he deserved, and they threw him out like trash! It might not be exactly the same as losing a wife and daughter, but you're not the only person on this planet who's lost someone!" She was shouting at him now. "You're not the only one who hurts."
Her voice wavered, and he saw her tears a moment before they started to fall. "C'mere, Jen," he murmured as he did the only thing he could at that point and swiftly pulled her to his chest. He tangled his fingers in her hair and cradled her head, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he reeled from the shots she'd just fired, uncomfortable pieces falling into place.
'You're not the only one who hurts.' Her words reverberated through his head. At least one ex-wife had yelled something similar at him before, but never to such an effect. He'd just dismissed them outright and waited for the marriage to die of natural causes and avoided dealing with it altogether, but this was different and infinitely more complicated. Jen was under his skin to the point of no return and it was starting to converge uncomfortably with the past.
He wasn't afraid of falling for her. Attraction coupled with a natural affinity for each other had made affection a natural progression, then time and intimacy had turned that into what could only be described as love. He loved her, it was as simple as that, and as much as he'd tried to avoid looking at it head on for fear of getting burnt, he was in the middle of it and it wasn't going anywhere.