Disclaimer: I have nothing against furries, please don't vore me.
"Hendery, sweetie, stop playing in the mud and come here! And bring your friend!", Xiaojun yells from inside the house.
Hendery and Yangyang get up from the puddle they just spent their last hour in and hurry away.
"We're here, mom, wassup?", he asks with a bright smile.
Xiaojun's face changes in disgust. "Oh my god! You better clean yourselves up right now and get ready, you're going to Grandmas' house today", he says and shoves them into the bathroom.
"Can you wash my back, Junjun?", Yangyang purrs seductively.
Xiaojun just replies by smacking his wrist. "Get your homie under control, Hendery, or he can't come to play anymore."
Hendery frowns. "We're not playing, mom, we're planning world domination."
Xiaojun laughs out loud. "World domination, huh? Maybe dominate the dishes first, young man, then you can plot something bigger."
Half an hour later, the two boys are bathed (without Xiaojun's help) and well-dressed in their finest Sunday attire.
"Why do we have to wear dresses, mom?", Hendery whines and lifts his a little to walk more easily.
"Because you look adorable in them", Xiaojun replies and that's all the answers they're gonna get. "Now hurry, boys, your grandmas are waiting for you! And take these gift baskets, I put in some delicious donuts with jam in the middle."
"Yum!", Yangyang cheers, but Xiaojun clarifies that it's not for them with a death stare.
Hendery puts on his red bandana and ties it under his chin.
The boys decide it's best not to anger Xiaojun any further and get on their way through the forest. After crossing a field of corn, they come to a rather swampy area.
"Your mom is so hot", Yangyang says and squishes his cheeks.
"Oh my god, dude! Ew!", Hendery exclaims in shock.
"What? He's sooo pretty, and handsome, and his eyebrows are just... perfection!"
"No, not your weird crush on my mom! There's a frog over there!!", Hendery screams and hides behind his homie.
"Oh, so you'd be... cool if I became your new dad?", Yangyang asks, visibly surprised.
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, get it off the road!!"
"And you'd also be okay with me, you know, getting you a sibling?"
"He's adopted and you know that", another voice suddenly says, "And there's no way two guys could have biological child, dumbass."
The two boys look to their left and see-
"Sicheng! Oh my god, good to see ya here!", Yangyang says cheerfully.
Sicheng smiles and greets them appropiately, then he steps towards the frog, carefully picks it up and yeets it into the muddy water.
"Phew, thanks, man!", Hendery says and hugs Sicheng. The older boy flinches a little.
"Wanna come to my grandmas' house with us?", Hendery asks his friend, but Sicheng shakes his head.
"They baby me more than they baby you, I hate it."
The other two just shrug and continue their journey.
"This reminds me of your mom", Yangyang says and holds up a huge corn, "Wanna know why?"
Hendery shakes his head. "No thanks, I want my last three braincells to remain alive, please."
They make their way through the swamp and enter a flower field.
"Aww, flowers! So pretty!", Yangyang exclaims happily, "just like your mom!"
Hendery slaps him with some kimchi from the gift basket.
"You ruined my dress, dude!"
"Stop thirsting over my mom, bro! He's been through some bad relationships and has enough trouble as a single mom everyday!", Hendery scolds his friend.
"I'd do literally anything for him tho. I'm working three jobs AND plotting world domination with you to have enough queso to finance a nice life together with him! I even bought him a necklace for his birthday!"
"Oh my god, dude", Hendery says, "you're sooo fucking whipped for him, but he doesn't want anything to do with you! Face it, man! The age difference is just too much."
"Age difference?! He's one year older than me!"
"Yes- wait, what?? I thought he was like thirty..."
"Seriously?! You were adopted at age 19, dude, he must've told you his age!"
"I probably forgot", Hendery says, a little embarrassed.
Yangyang shakes his head in disbelief and five minutes later, they're deep into a rock-paper-scissors-tournament.
"Immer zuerst den guten alten Stein nehmen", Yangyang says triumphantly after his tenth win.
"...wHAT?", Hendery asks completely confused.
"Oh, I mean, always play rock first. It's a traditional German proverb... from a YouTuber, but that doesn't matter right now cuz ya boy won!"
Hendery high fives him, when suddenly an insanely handsome man stumbles in their way.
"Oh, hi there! Do you two ladies know where the next hotel is?", he asks with a beautiful smile.
"L-ladies...?", Hendery stutters. The other boy doesn't realize and continues: "I kinda got lost and can't find my way back home-"
"Wait, aren't you 'Big Bad Wolf'?", Yangyang suddenly exclaims, "I've seen you on TikTok! Your real name is Lucas, I think!"
"Oh, cool! But-"
"You're a fucking furry!"
"What?! No!"
"Yes you are", Yangyang insists, "I've seen you, on TikTok, in your fursuit!"
Lucas blinks. "That...that's literally my dog... I made a TikTok account for her, hence the name. I'm only in a few videos."
"Hmmm", Yangyang says skeptically, "then how come I've never seen you and your dog in the same room?"
"I don't know, because I made TikToks together with her where we are both visible!"
"PROOF!", Yangyang yells.
Lucas whips out his phone and tries to open the app. "Dammit", he groans, "I have no internet... No wonder, we're in the middle of the woods!"
"Thought so, FURRY", Yangyang says snappily and he shoves Lucas out of the way.
"The next hotel is that way", he adds, suddenly remembering why Lucas talked to them in the first place.
Lucas thanks him reluctantly and turns to Hendery. "Any chance I could get your number, my lady?"
"I- what."
"You're super cute, let's go out some time! It'll be fun, I promise!", he says with a sweet smile.
Hendery's heart jumps a little and he's tempted to whip out his phone to exchange numbers, but then he remembers:
"Sorry, I don't date furries."
And they leave a dumbfounded Lucas standing in the middle of the path. "I'm not a furry, lady!", he yells but Hendery and Yangyang don't bother to turn around.
"The delusion", Yangyang says with an eyeroll.
"I dunno, I thought he was pretty cute", Hendery says, "Okay, I thought he was SUPER HOT. But since he's...ya know."
Yangyang nods understandingly and they continue their road trip by foot.
About half an hour later, they pass a small house. In the yard sit seven small men and a regular girl who are apparently drinking coffee and eating cake.
"Ugh, thats Snow White, my grandmas' neighbor. She's such a bitch", Hendery groans.
Snow White notices them and waves.
"Hiiii!", Hendery and Yangyang screech in unison and wave back with the fakest smilesever.
"Such. A. Bitch," Yangyang agrees and shakes his head.
A bit later, they arrive at Hendery's grandmas' small hut.
"I'm hyped as fuck, man!", he says, "grandmas are the best."
Yangyang tilts his head. "Actually, your mom is the best."
"Simp."
Hendery knocks on the wooden door, expecting grandma Ten to rush outside and hug him, but instead he just hears: "Come in!"
"Weird", he says and Yangyang raises an eyebrow in suspicion.
They open the door and enter. The smell of pie is coming from the kitchen, but his grandmas are nowhere to be seen.
"Granny Kun? Granny Ten?", Hendery calls out, "you here?"
Silence, then: "In the bedroom, dear!"
Hendery and Yangyang look at each other. "Do we want to go in or, like, no?", his homie asks.
"I dunno, I don't wanna walk in on some weird shit."
They hesitate for a minute, giving Kun and Ten time to wrap up WHATEVER they're doing, then Hendery knocks on the door.
"Come on in already!"
"Hello, granny Kun and granny Ten- wait what the fuck?!", Hendery exclaims in shock.
"Hi", the stranger in a wig, make-up and grandma Ten's nightgown says and smiles.
"W-w-w-who the hell are you??", Hendery yells and pulls his switchblade out from under his skirt.
"Jesus, calm down!"
"No way! Where are my grandmas?!"
"Wait-"
"TELL ME!"
"CALM THE FUCK DOWN!", the weird man yells and the room falls silent. "They're fine, no worries. They actually put me up to this... I was supposed to get your number, but...well."
Hendery lowers his knife. "What do you mean, 'they put you up to this'? Who even are you?"
"Are you kidding. It's me, Lucas!", he replies and rips the shitty wig off.
"Ach du heilige Scheiße", Yangyang gasps, "I didn't recognize you, like, for real!" Hendery nods in agreement.
"But didn't you want to find a hotel? Why are you at my grandmas' place?", he asks and skeptically raises an eyebrow.
"Well, I tried. I went the way you showed me, but then I fell into a hole. Then, two handsome young boys - your grandmas - came by because they heard me scream for help and saved me from the hole." He pauses and takes off Ten's nightgown.
"I gotta say, Kun must be a damn athlete, he lifted me up all by himself! Well anyways, they brought me here and then I kinda told them my whole life story because they were so gentle and understanding, and I mentioned you guys-", he points to Yangyang and Hendery and sighs.
"That's when they realized WHO I was talking about and since they know I'm not a furry, they said they'd help me get your number. So, yeah."
Speechless, Hendery and Yangyang look at each other.
"So you're not a furry?", Hendery asks happily.
"No! I told you guys! Here", Lucas says and whips out his phone, "since your grandmas, who are in the backyard sipping cocktails by the way, have lightning fast internet, I can show you video proof."
Hendery and Yangyang lean in while Lucas shows them his TikTok account.
"Okay then!", Hendery smiles, "oh, by the way: I'm a dude. Just sayin before you call me 'lady' again."
"Iss okay, man", Lucas grins, "When it comes to love, gender doesn't matter."
Hendery laughs happily and they head outside to join Kun and Ten in the garden. Lucas waits in the door while Hendery and Yangyang hurry outside.
Hendery's grandmas are sipping Piña Coladas and eating fruit salad. When they notice Hendery and his boys, they jump up and hurry over to them.
"Hiii, Hendery! And I see you brought Yangyang as well! Good to see you", Ten greets them. Hendery gives them both a hug and Yangyang hands them the gift basket.
"Hmm, Skittles!", Kun exclaims, "And donuts with jam in the middle, my favorites! Ooh, Oreo marshmallows! Thanks, darling."
Lucas steps outside as well and Ten squeals with joy. "Does this mean that he gave you a chance?", he asks the tall boy.
Lucas nods happily and lifts Hendery up princess-style.
"Well, it seems like our super weird plan worked out after all", Kun says and he and Ten high five.
"It WAS a super weird plan", Yangyang remarks, "how in the everloving fuck did you come up with that?"
Kun and Ten look at each other, then Yangyang, and say in unison: "Trade secret."
Thanks to everyone who read this piece of shit, both of you mean a lot to me 3