Two Butts and a Chair

Characters: Sting/Rogue

Genre: Romance-ish/Friendship/Humor, K+

Summary: That chair was just too small for both of their butts.

Two Butts and a Chair

Ok, so maybe becoming Sabertooth's Master was not the best idea he had ever had.

It was so tiresome. And the work never ended. There was always a piece of bureaucracy here, a bill to pay there and the damn apologies he had to write every time some member of the guild destroyed something. Seriously, was that hard not to make buildings collapse, Orga?!

(Let's just say he didn't envy Makarov. He had about twenty Orgas to deal with.)

That day was just as any other else: boring stuff to handle, damage calculations to make. Sting sighed while entering the guild, dragging his feet with fatigue towards The Chair, an old piece of wood covered in ragged velvet that was kept on a corner of the hall.

The Chair was there since the creation of the guild, but he had never seen anyone use it before – maybe because it smelled like mold and other sorts of gruesome things. After he assumed the job of Master, The Chair became some kind of refugee inside the guild for him, since no one approached that corner of the hall and he could get some peace between signing compensation checks and negotiating debts with liquor suppliers.

The blond Dragon Slayer could almost feel the sensation of his butt fitting the cushion seat as just as they were made especially for each other when the vision of another butt sitting on his sanctuary made him choke.

"Rogue!" He yelled, clenching his teeth. "This is my spot! Mine! Get the hell out of it!"

Said dark-haired mage barely took his eyes off the book he was reading, though.

"I don't see your name on it." Rogue calmly replied, turning the page of his book, which made Sting huff.

"Still, it's mine and you know it." He angrily insisted, tightening his fists. "Where's Frosh, anyway? Shouldn't you be keeping that dork from getting lost again?"

"Frosch is not a dork." A vein popped in the Shadow Dragon Slayer's forehead, but he didn't raise his head. Instead, he just turned another page. "And Frosch is playing with Lector, who you abandoned."

"What?! I did not abandon Lector!" Sting snorted with disbelief. "I left him here because every time I have to negotiate our debts with our suppliers, he steals fish and the old man gets harder to deal with."

"Whatever."

"Don't whatever me, you bastard. Get out of my spot!"

"No, I will not."

"Yes, you will!"

"No, I will not."

Sting's patience reached its limit and the blond growled, throwing himself on Rogue. The book flew with the impact of the two bodies and both mages started to exchange punches and kicks. The rest of the guild members only ignored – much to Yukino's dismay, for the girl didn't like to see those two fighting – as quarrels between them were actually pretty common.

The old chair creaked with each blow struck, but that didn't stop both young men from pinching each other's cheeks.

"Give me back my spot!"

"It's not yours to take!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it isn't!"

"I'm your Master, you should obey me!"

"Wow, that's pretty low of you to bring the Master thing when you have been such a lousy friend!"

"I have not-" Sting stopped his arm mid-air, blinking with surprise at his friend's words. "wait, what?"

"That's right." The Shadow Dragon Slayer shot him a cold look before continuing. "You have been behaving like an old man, Sting. All grumpy and crusty, you don't talk to anyone and you don't have fun with us anymore. Heavens, you have even cursed at Yukino when she offered you cookies last week!"

The blond furrowed his brows at his friend's accusations, then took some time to recall the events from the past few days. Realization hit him hard like he had just been punched in the stomach.

Yes, he had been really grumpy. He was always tired and gloomy and every time he went to the guild, he isolated himself from others to sulk alone, hissing at anyone who would dare to approach. That person… it wasn't him. He was the clown of the group, the one that was always laughing and making others laugh with him, the one that was always trying to make Rogue drunk or Yukino to talk more.

His friends missed him and he understood their worry right away, because he missed his true self too.

"Dude, I-I…" Sting babbled, but was unable to go further. Rogue's expression softened, though, as he understood that the White Dragon Slayer was trying to apologize.

"You don't need to do everything alone, you know? We are here for you, idiot." The dark-haired mage smiled reassuringly. Sting couldn't help but smirk back and they both exchanged a friendly look before finally realizing the position they were in.

Rogue was still sitting in the chair, but somehow during the fight Sting managed to not only sit on Rogue's lap, but also entangle one of his legs with his friend's. Sting felt embarrassed at first, but at the sight of the shadow mage's face turning red like a tomato, he grinned devilishly at the young man.

"Well well, maybe we can share after all." He chanted, while accommodating himself above Rogue. Said mage only turned his face away, swallowing hard.

"Fine, it's not like I was actually reading or something." Was his reply, which made Sting's grin wider.

"Yeah, I know you are a slow reader, there's no way you could turn pages that fast." The blond answered, hiding his face in the crook of Rogue's neck.

He would finally get those five minutes of rest.

A/N: I'm currently taking requests through reviews or Tumblr (username: ika-thy)!