I do not own the Ah! Megami sama / Oh! My Goddess series
Morning had finally arrived, and the residents of the Morisato household were eagerly looking forward to greet the first day of the new year. All, except for one, who was furiously trying to swat the infernal torture device that stood next to her futon and desperately tried to wake her up.
"Ugh! Enough already!"
Missing the alarm clock for the fifth time, Urd wasn't in the mood to play games anymore and began to prepare one of her bolts. She just wouldn't admit defeat and get out of her bed, given that the aforementioned device was deliberately placed beyond her reach, in case she turned it off and then fall asleep once more. Before she could fire the ball of lightning, the alarm clock suddenly stopped ringing, making her wonder what happened.
Normally, the half goddess didn't even use that particular device, but, given her temporary job at Whirlwind, it became a necessity. Today, Chihiro had invited them to the raffle that was offering the bike that they've worked so hard to prepare, and given the fact that the event would mention their shop's name, it was a great opportunity for some extra exposure for them.
Dissipating the spell, she opened her eyes to see if the thing had finally broken down after the last couple of days. Almost immediately, she noticed a figure crouched next to it, and for a moment she was about to form another bolt, before she realized that there was another person living in her room now.
"So... That's your new look?" asked the sleepy goddess, as she rubbed her eyes.
"Yes, that's correct. I've spend some time overnight to create this appearance all by myself." Excalibur had assumed a male form that appeared to be nearly as tall as her, with an athletic build, but still slender frame. He almost seemed to be normal, if not generic, except the grey eyes and hair that weren't extremely common features for most mortals of his apparent age. Thankfully, this time he hadn't forgotten the clothes, so, he had a very similar outfit to Keiichi's, only it was primarily gray as well.
"Not bad... Although, everything on you are various shades of the same basic color. You almost seem like a character straight out of a black-and-white TV," said Urd, as she gave him a closer look.
"That's technically incorrect, given that those monitors are essentially utilizing a greyscale palette. Also, according to information that I've gathered from the mortal world, it's preferable for someone to choose colors that express them the best. I do find that this particular shade of gunmetal grey is the one that I mostly approve," explained the shape-shifter.
"Look... It's not bad for your hair and eye color if you actually prefer them to be like that, but, try some variety on your clothes at least. You kind of stand out like a sore thumb as you are right now," said the half goddess. "Maybe blue or black jeans... and perhaps a white t-shirt could work better with your current appearance..."
Thinking for a second, the artificial entity did as she suggested and changed the configuration of his outfit to the same specifications that his roommate had suggested; a pair of black jeans, with a matching jacket and a white t-shirt. "Is that more preferable?"
"Hm... I guess, so. Now, I'll have to get ready," said the Norn of the past, staring him for a while.
It took Excalibur a couple of seconds to realize that there was a meaning behind that look. "Is there something wrong?"
"Yes. I need my privacy to change," answered the half goddess, trying to sound as normal as she could, while explaining an extremely simple matter.
"You had done that before, during my first days in this house," said the curious shape-shifter, tilting his head as an indication of confusion.
"To begin with, I wasn't aware that you were anything more than a simple sword. And right now, you decided to be a guy. Which means that you'll have to make all the necessary adjustments to your behavioral patterns," explained Urd in the same way she would for a young child. "Now, get out of here!"
Nodding, Excalibur simply did as she instructed him and left. After all, it also had to reintroduce himself to the others, now that he had a new appearance.
'What a pain... And it's only the first day... Oh well... Let's get ready, before everyone leaves.'
XXX
"There! That should look better on you, dear."
Fidgeting a bit, Keiichi wasn't entirely sure about getting dressed for the occasion. Sure, he had worn a suit before, during that ill fated job interview he had in the past. Even though he technically passed, fate had other ideas for him, when he realized that he still had another foreign language class, until he was totally done with NIT.
If nothing else, it seemed like a bad omen. Plus, Keiichi was a much more casual person, and suits weren't exactly his most typical kind of attire; especially ties. For the love of his life, he couldn't understand why people found wearing a health hazard around their necks to be fashionable. All it needed was a strong yank and it could end up really badly for him. Not to mention, that he had no idea how to properly make the knot, which was the reason why his wife had taken that role.
"Is it really necessary? A lot of guys just wear the shirt without a tie, Bell..." In all honesty, he knew that trying to talk her out of it, was futile. Whenever the goddess of the present set her mind on something, she would make it into a reality. But, he had to try just in case she felt a bit easier to convince, now that they were married.
"Please stop being so difficult, Keiichi. I'm fully aware that it clashes with your tastes, but, this is for the sake of making you presentable for the occasion. There will be even the local press, there. I want you to leave a good impression," said Belldandy, as she readjusted her husband's tie for the tenth time, until she was happy. "That's much better. How do you feel?"
"A bit more comfortable, actually. At least, it's nowhere as bad at it was before," said Keiichi, inspecting his reflection on the mirror.
"Then, it'll have to do for now, "said Belldandy, checking the clock on the wall. "Let's not waste any more time and see if the others are ready, as well."
"It's not that much of a big deal, really..." said Keiichi in an attempt to convince his wife to take this a bit less seriously. "We're hardly going to be a huge part of the raffle. So, I don't think why..."
"Not a word, dear! It's not good to trivialize your own work. Instead, you should take pride for your achievements and share them with others." The fierce look of determination left no room for negotiations in this matter, making the mechanic lower his head a bit.
"Yes, Belldandy..." It wasn't a case of low esteem that made him have second thoughts; far from it. The fact that every goddess in the house would attend the raffle was more than enough to make him panic. Only yesterday, a simple picnic under the starry sky had turned into a scene of carnage, as the newest addition to the household had successfully 'neutralized' one of Skuld's bombs.
The idea of having an unexplained incident in front of a crowd was a really scary one. The last time that happened was when the Lord of Terror had possessed Urd and went on a rampage. 'Well... at least it wasn't as bad as it could've been. Nobody was injured and there was no footage of anything magical shown on the TV. Still, that event had gotten some attention from the media and even today there are a few people trying to solve that mystery.'
Standing in front of him, his wife had a concerned expression, trying to figure out what the problem was with him. "Are you okay, Keiichi? You look awfully worried..."
"I'm... Okay... I'll admit that I'm rather nervous with so many goddesses in such a public event." He was a bit uncomfortable saying this, given that it could've been taken in the wrong way. At no point in his life, the young mortal had considered the others that lived with them to be a liability and he didn't want to give his wife that impression.
"Oh! Is that all? That's a relief!" said Belldandy with a sigh. "You shouldn't worry that much, dear. Everything's gonna be fine this time; you'll see."
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Keiichi put a big grin on, trying to be optimistic. "Sure thing, Bell!"
This was a new day, and hopefully all would go as planned. Opening the door of his room, he decided to check if the others were ready, as well. His smile disappeared the moment he almost run into a grey haired young man he hadn't seen before. "H-Hello? Do I know you?"
"Yes, I'm Excalibur," was the almost silent reply.
"Oh... right... I almost forgot... Your new appearance..." said Keiichi, feeling his short lived optimism already gone by now. 'There goes that idea... I swear, it's always one thing after another...'
"Is there anything wrong with the way I look?" asked the shape-shifter. "My emotional analysis algorithms indicate a potential 73,47% chance of negative feelings."
"No, that's not it! I'm a little stressed today," said Keiichi with a chuckle. "Nothing more than that."
"Understood."
XXX
At an abandoned arcade, a different, yet eerily similar sort of preparation was taken place.
"Absolutely not! Use your head, Ma-chan! Who would present herself in such a manner?"
Blinking for a moment to check her current attire, the blonde demoness couldn't see what was wrong with it. "But... Hild-sama..."
"I won't hear a word! This is a joke!" stomping her foot on the barren floor of their makeshift base, the childlike version of the Daimakaicho huffed in annoyance. "You're a demoness and as such, you should present us in a more fashionable manner. What's with that casual dress?"
"That's what I wear on that damn... I mean... pretty darn good part time job that I've got!" Wincing a bit, knowing all too well that her real boss wouldn't buy her excuses nearly as easily as her mortal one, Mara prepared for the worst.
"This is different, Ma-chan. Why don't you put that nice red dress you had the other day, when you decided to hand out with Urd-chan?" suggested the frustrated leader of the demons.
"Eh?" Thinking about it for a few moments, the blonde decided to summon that outfit. "Oh, you mean, this one?"
Checking her underling's appearance, Hild offered a nod. "Yes. What's wrong with it? It looks perfect for the occasion."
"Well... I sort of forgot about it..." Laughed Mara, scratching her head. "I've got tons of dresses like this, so, I find it a bit hard to keep track on all of them..."
Pinching the bridge of her nose, in annoyance, the Daimakaicho couldn't believe that blonde at times. "Okay... Now that we've got that covered, why don't you get moving?"
"Isn't it a bit early?..." asked Mara, before she noticed the look on her superior's face. Hild wasn't pleased at all, but for the love of her life, she couldn't remember annoying her at any point in the recent past. Even this current fashion argument was somewhat unjustified. 'Perhaps she's pissed about something else... She's the Daimakaicho after all, and even now, her main body is dealing with all sorts of things, over at the capitol.'
"No worries, ma'am! I'll be there, right away!" Not wanting to become another problem in her leader's list, the blonde quickly gave her boss a salute and disappeared in a puff of dark smoke.
As soon as Hild was left alone, she frowned. For the last couple of days, demonic activity in Nekomi had skyrocketed and it was a miracle that the goddesses hadn't noticed the change. That wasn't the problem, though; not by far. It was the fact that it was primarily caused by Ratatoskr, the armed department of her Intelligence Sector, and the worst part was that she wasn't fully informed about their agenda.
Undeniably, the presence of so many goddesses in a single location, demanded some attention by Bergelmir and his subordinates. However, when Mara and Urd had gone to that bar, she couldn't help but spy them a bit. Hild's original idea to keep Mara close to the couple, had presented another opportunity, when her daughter decided to work at Whirlwind for a certain period of time. Having her interact with the blonde demoness was ideal, as it could let them act like friends once again and hopefully help her daughter see past the various stereotypes that she became familiar with, from all the time she'd spent as a goddess. Perhaps, that could eventually prove to be something beneficial for her, but, apparently she wasn't the only one who took interest in Urd's private life.
That day, she had clearly seen a member of Ratatoskr take photos of her daughter and Mara. And apparently there was a rumor that those were given to certain annoying individual who kept intruding into Urd's life. There was no telling why such a thing was necessary for her Intelligence Sector, but whatever the reason was, Skrymir must've been behind it for sure.
Bergelmir's boss was known for being a rather crafty demon and sometimes difficult to predict. He had already involved himself in that Gate fiasco a short amount of time ago, and by the looks of it, that didn't deter him from starting a new plot already. Of course, that's what was to be expecting from someone in his position, as schemes were necessary to give the demons the upper hand in a wide variety of cases. Still, she wasn't thrilled by the fact that, Urd was also involved.
There was one reason why she hadn't called him and ask for explanations, the other affected party in this situation. It was no secret that she didn't like that earth spirit at all, but given her daughter's past relationship with him, she was rather reluctant to teach that fool the lesson that he truly deserved. In the long run, Urd would've just used that as a reason to dislike her, no matter how justified some retribution was.
Every demoness had a fair bit of pride, and Hild was no exception to that rule. Unlike some others, though, she had been less blunt about it, brushing a few things aside from time to time. Insignificant matters had no place in the grand scheme of things and as such, she could easily ignore them for the most part. Still, she had to remind others of her status, and certain insults couldn't be forgiven that easily.
The actual question was what that earth spirit's role was in this and why Skrymir was interested in him. However, before she made any serious decisions, she needed to take a personal look into the matter. If it worked in her favor, then she could simply go along with it and deny any personal involvement, in case Urd wanted an explanation.
'So... Let's go and see what happens...' Extending her arm, she formed a small portal, summoning her personal broom. "Glühendes Herz!"
"Yes, Hild-sama?" asked the fastest broom in Niflheim.
"We've got places to go!"
XXX
Waiting patiently in the living room, the group of seven goddesses was almost ready. A few minutes ago, Keiichi and a very different looking Excalibur had walked into the room, trying to check their progress.
While some of them were interested in the sentient weapon's choice of appearance, the really important thing right now was to attend the event that they were invited in. Actually, they were split into two groups, with one of them consisting of those who worked at Whirlwind, and the rest were merely there for moral support.
This meant that, Keiichi and the three Norns were going to meet up with Chihiro at the mall, right before the event started. Perhaps Mara could be there, too, as she was also one of Whirlwind's employees. The remaining four goddesses were going to mingle with the crowd and watch from a slight distance, which also worked fine for everyone, given that they had to teleport there. Additionally, they were dressed in a more casual manner compared to the first group, since they were mere spectators.
"The only remaining issue is our transportation..." said Urd, scratching her chin.
"I can ride the bike, right behind Keiichi, and you can sit in the sidecar," suggested Belldandy.
"Yeah, and I've got my own scooter," added Skuld.
"I... guess that it'll have to do..." said Urd with a sigh. "It feels a bit strange, though... Sitting in the sidecar, I mean."
"Providing that you even fit there," said Skuld with a playful grin.
"How rude! Of course I can do that!" protested the goddess of the past. "I'm sexy, not fat! Thank you very much!"
"Don't worry, neesan! There are no problems with you sitting there!" said Belldandy in an attempt to keep them focused on their current agenda and avoid any unnecessary distractions.
Stepping in, Frigg was about to do the same thing, reminding her granddaughters that they didn't had all day. "Belldandy is right, Urd-chan. I recommend you to start moving, though. The event will start in an hour, and you'll b late if you stay here for much longer. Especially if you don't take into account the frozen road."
Nodding, Keiichi checked everything, before he turned the engine of his BMW on, as the two of the Norns got on the bike, too, while the third deployed her own scooter. Thankfully, the road wasn't completely covered in snow or anything like that. It had been already cleared properly, but, there were a few problematic spots left where some of the remaining snow had turned into ice, which was a potential hazard for any careless driver.
Watching the two vehicles drive away from the temple, made Frigg smile a bit. Turning towards the three other goddesses that were gathered, she quickly checked their attires and noticed that there was a distinctive difference in styles. While the younger ones were dressed in more casual way, with pants, short sleeved blouses and jackets, she was wearing a rather conservative and simple dress.
"This won't do..." mused the green eyed goddess, not wanting to stick out like a sore thumb. After all, she wasn't physically older than any of them, at least from a mortal's perspective.
Looking at Frigg with some concern, Peorth was a little worried what might've been the issue here. Elder goddesses were often preoccupied with serious matters of great importance, most of the time and she didn't want any of that to interrupt today's plans. "Is there something wrong, Frigg-sama?"
"Yes. I can't show up like this! I look just like a mortal lady from a couple of decades ago. In this time and age, that's too old fashioned," replied the head of the Goddess Relief Office. After a few seconds of consideration, she summoned a different outfit, this time a lot closer to the one that her juniors were wearing; and much tighter, too. The last fact caused a few jaws to nearly drop, as the seemingly ladylike and reserved goddess, seemed to have no qualms to try more revealing kind of clothes.
"Excuse me, but I have an inquiry. Shouldn't we depart as well?" Ignorant to the others' incredulous looks at Frigg's sudden change of style, Excalibur was primarily focused on schedules. And his internal clock indicated that they should be moving as well, given that teleportation would've been easier at the moment, before too many mortals were gathered at their destination.
The four goddesses stared each other, not sure how to reply. After the stunt that the shape-shifter had pulled yesterday, nobody was really confident to bring the sentient weapon in the middle of a human crowd. It wasn't just the issue of accidentally revealing their natures, he was a walking force of destruction. One that could potentially wreck more havoc in Japan, than a certain gigantic lizard from those old shows on the TV.
Looking at her juniors, Frigg tried to get someone else to tell the sentient weapon the bad news. Leaning towards Peorth, the elder goddess put some effort to keep her voice as low as she possibly could. "Would you be so kind to tell him that we can't take him with us?"
"Me? But..." Trying to avoid being the one that had to do that, Peorth turned to the blonde goddess that was standing next to her. "Laguz! You know him, right? Why don't yo do it, instead?"
The Goddess of the Lake didn't seem to be very enthusiastic at that idea, either. "Wouldn't that make things worse? I mean, it's not nice when a friend tells you that you're not invited to some event that everyone else is going to attend..."
Shaking her head, the Valkyrie decided that enough was enough and the others were just being silly. Walking towards Excalibur, the warrior stood in front of him and addressed the shape-shifter in a similar manner to her sisters in arms. "Today you're on guard duty. So, make sure that the house will remain safe during our absence."
Nodding his head, the sentient weapon had apparently no problems following that command. "Understood. I'll patrol the area and make sure that no intruders will infiltrate the perimeter."
"That's good. I'll leave the task to you, then," said the Valkyrie with a tiny smile. "Oh... By the way, Belldandy told me that she wishes you to stop attacking that demonic cat, Welsper. He's already been here for a few years, and it's kind of impolite to keep him out in the cold."
"Acknowledged. Any further instructions?" requested the shape-shifter.
"None. You're dismissed." Watching Excalibur turn around and walk towards the house, the warrior was pleased with his ability to take orders that well. Despite his long absence from Asgard, the sword was still obedient and those were great news, indeed. Perhaps the rest were a bit too cautious about him for no particular reason.
"Boy... You're rather ruthless," commented Peorth, after witnessing that short exchange. "I'm glad you're not my boss..."
"True words... I would've never allowed you to show off your body as much as you do," said Lind with a slow nod, earning a stare from the rose goddess.
"There we go again..." grumbled Peorth, crossing her arms.
Clapping her hands, Frigg tried to grab their attention. "Let's not get into a pointless argument, ladies. We might as well use our time in a more constructive manner and go check that mall, instead."
Getting a nod from the three of them, she extended her hand to create a small portal on the ground, in order to travel to their destination on an instant. One after the other, the goddesses stepped on the magic circle, disappearing from the temple. As the last person to leave, Frigg gave a last look behind her, hoping that everything would go well in their absence.
XXX
"Hm... So, that's a mall? It greatly resembles Asgard's market complex. Only that everything here are a lot more cramped together," commented Lind as she looked around. Hallways went in every direction, with numerous stores framing them, one next to the other.
"Yes, I've been here on a few rare occasions," admitted Peorth. "Most of the time, everyone goes to the smaller stores downtown, instead of coming here."
"Um... Why's that?" asked the curious Goddess of the Lake.
"Well, Keiichi's primarily interested to buy food supplies and while there are several places to eat here, there aren't enough grocery stores, unlike downtown where they're all over the place," explained Peorth. "Additionally, those are typically cheaper, too. And if you haven't noticed yet, our mortal friend isn't very affluent."
"Oh, I know that. I was merely curious, though," said Laguz. "We should have some time before the event starts. Any ideas what we should do?"
"It's not a bad thing to admit that you want to take a look around, dear," said Frigg. "Since we came here, we might as well make the best of it, right?"
"That's true, although we don't have any money," said Lind.
Shaking her head, the green eyed goddess of the group, extended her hand, revealing a small plastic item. "I'm on official vacations, and as such, I've got this."
"Oh!... That's... Asgard's platinum card! I've always wanted to get something more than the basic one..." Staring at the credit card with wide eyes, Peorth couldn't stop herself from smiling. However as she was about to reach for the coveted object, Frigg pulled her arm away from her reach.
"No! A first class goddess shouldn't display such avarice!" Tucking the card back to her outfit, Frigg gave her junior a cautious look. "That's among the basics! Shame on you!"
"I-I'm terribly sorry! It's just that... I never had the chance to buy anything nice while I was here," explained Peorth. "Most of the time, I only grab a couple of souvenirs for the sysops back at the Yggdrasil command center."
"Well, I don't want to sound so strict, so... I'll let you girls to enjoy some shopping," said Frigg, smiling at the sight of two excited goddesses, and a thoroughly confused one.
"I thought that we were supposed to attend the event," said Lind, trying to remind them of their original goal here.
"Indeed. But, once the raffle is over, we can spend some time for ourselves, right? There's no need to rush back at the house," countered the elder goddess, much to the others' delight.
"Very well," agreed the warrior, wondering what she could get during this shopping trip.
"Excellent! Then let's not waste more time. I believe I saw several people gathering over there," said Frigg, as she pointed at the crowd in the distance.
XXX
Meanwhile, closer to the malls' entrance, Keiichi and the three Norns were looking everywhere for Chihiro. Instead of her, though, they only managed to find their demonic coworker. None of them was exactly certain that she would've appeared, given that the demoness was far from an enthusiastic about her part time job as a shop assistant at Whirlwind.
"Hey, Mara! I wasn't expecting you!" Feeling a bit more familiar with her, Urd decided to check her friend's mood. At the back of her head, the half goddess wouldn't rule out the possibility that the blonde was merely following the Daimakaicho's orders, and had no desire to be here.
"Finally! You sure took your sweet time, Urd! It's been pretty boring standing here, you know..." said Mara, as she approached the group.
"Sorry... We didn't know if you'd show up or not," admitted Urd, before she paused and checked her friend's attire. "My my... Aren't we flashy, today?"
"Look who's talking..." said Mara behind narrowed eyes, inspecting the half goddess' long, black dress. In many ways it reminded her of the official goddess clothes that the Norn normally wore, although, it lacked her cape and the front part wasn't nearly as revealing. Still, being herself, Urd couldn't help but add a triangle shaped cut at the base of her neck, showing a bit of skin. "You sure didn't wear anything too casual."
"Of course not! I'm not known for being too modest when it comes to fashion," boasted Urd. "But, enough of that. Have you seen Chihiro?"
"Nope. And since you're asking me, it's safe to guess that neither did you," said Mara, with a frown. "Don't tell me that she forgot..."
"There's no way she would've done that," said Keiichi. Before he could any further, he noticed his boss running towards them.
"Hey, everyone! Am I too late?" asked the businesswoman, trying to catch her breath.
"No, not really," said Keiichi. "Something happened?"
"Yeah... The worst traffic jam you could possibly imagine." Checking her clothes to make sure that nothing was out of place, while she hurried towards the mall, Chihiro took a moment to remember what caused all that mess. "They closed a road when someone reported that there was a man on top of a high building, and possibly planning to jump. We got a bit of everything there, police, paramedics and the fire brigade. But in the end, it was either a prank or a mirage, as there was nobody on top of the building when the got there."
"Strange..." said Keiichi. The students of NIT were responsible for a great deal of pranks, although, they typically avoided anything that would've gotten them in serious trouble. And faking an emergency was one of them.
"Anyways! Let's forget about that, and focus on our agenda." Regaining her cool, Chihiro was once more back into her usual self. "We'll have to meet with the organizers and see what they've got in their minds. So, let's..."
At that moment, a rather familiar woman, approached the group, interrupting their boss. "Oh, I see that you're all here."
"Sayoko?!" asked the surprised Keiichi, while the others stared at the rich lady, trying to figure out what she wanted from them this time around.
"Why do you seem that startled, Keiichi? Didn't you know that my family actually owns this mall?" asked the brunette.
"Then.. You're in charge here?" countered Chihiro.
"Of course. And I was one that suggested to give this last minute job to you, as well. But, why don't we get inside and talk about the details?" offered the Mishima heiress.
Keiichi blinked at that last statement. In the past, Sayoko had been nothing but trouble. Sure, she was nowhere as bad as her rotten cousin, Aoshima, but, she had her own share of encounters with them. "Hold on... Why had you offered this job to us?"
Sayoko paused for a while, trying to find the best way to explain this. "Well... It was a last minute change of plans and half of the stores wanted too much money, while the rest, were a bit concerned about the deadline. So... I've decided that you were the best candidate."
"In other words, we were cheap and available..." said Mara in a way that made everyone cringe.
Meanwhile, Sayoko was trying to recall where she had seen that blonde. She could've sworn that they've met before, but, for some unknown reason she had extreme trouble to remember any of the details. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, the rich woman decided to get this over with, instead of standing here all day long. "I would've put it in a different way, but... whatever makes you happy, I guess. Still, we have some details to go through, so, this way please."
Not having other options, the group silently followed the heiress of the Mishima family.
XXX
High above the skyline of Nekomi, a man was observing the world below him. Humans were fascinating creatures in many ways, running all over the place without stop that made him wonder what they getting out of this. If they spent their limited lives on such mundane tasks, then they were a lot more unfortunate and tragic beings than he had originally expected.
Still, he had no time to ponder on such insignificant matters. Flying from one building to another, the plum tree spirit and the golden nightingale that followed him, were heading towards one specific destination, a temple at the outskirts of the city. He had been there at one point in the past, during the quest to acquire his current companion, and it hadn't been a particularly good experience.
'Gr... That damned shorty!... He seems to be luring more and more goddesses with his fake charms. Rumor has it that he's got twice as many as he had back then. Unforgivable! How... how does that pervert get away with his cheap tricks?'
But the problem this time had nothing to do with that mortal and his aspirations to form a harem. No, it was actually even worse, given the solid evidence that he managed to get his hands on. Urd was apparently dating a most unsuitable individual, who was likely toying with her feelings. She had to, as demons were known for being selfish and cruel.
'How could she fall for such an unsightly blonde... Hadn't she realized that this must be a trick? That demoness only wants to exploit her, I'm sure of it!...'
Troubadour's original intention was to storm right at the fiend's lair and deal with her directly. However, she had a most formidable ally, as the very ruler of Niflheim was living with her, making such an attempt foolish. There was simply no way he could deal with both of them, which only left him with a single option; convince Urd to break up with her.
'I'm pretty sure that my darling Urd would realize her tragic mistake and dump that seductress.'
Landing in the middle of the snow covered temple grounds, the tree spirit immediately noticed a rather peculiar looking robot that headed towards his direction. Holding a small wooden staff, the roundish automaton stood in front of him, as it made a series of beeping sounds that greatly confused him.
"What are you?" Getting more incomprehensible sounds in response, Troubadour decided that there was no point to attempt talking to it. Stepping aside, he was just about to head towards the house, only to get blocked once again. "Begone. This doesn't concern you."
However, the robot firmly stood its ground, pointing the wooden staff towards the intruder. Soon, a second, humanoid looking machine joined the first one, much to Troubadour's annoyance.
"What's wrong, Banpei? Oh! We've got a visitor!" Sigel wasn't aware of that person's identity and therefore attempted to greet him as any other visitor. "Hello, I'm Skuld-sama's assistant, Sigel. Pleased to meet you."
The tree spirit stared at the robot and after some thought, he dismissed it as a mere toy that Urd's sister had constructed, offering no reply. Instead, he pointedly walked around them and headed for the house's front door, eager to meet the charming goddess of the past.
"Urd darling, it's me!" Getting no response from anyone, the tree spirit simply walked inside.
Meanwhile, Excalibur returned from his short trip to the nearby forest, carrying a rather unhappy cat with him.
"Unhand me, right away! I may not look like it, but, I'm a proud demon!" A couple of minutes ago, the shape-shifter showed up under his tree and informed him about the residents' desire for his return. As such, Welsper was a bit more confident now, since he knew that the sentient weapon wouldn't harm him.
Letting go of the cat, Excalibur noticed Skuld's two robots standing in front of the house and decided to see what was going on. Even more, there was an oversized bird that rested on a nearby tree. "Status report?"
Turning to him, Sigel pointed towards the Morisato residence, frowning a bit. "A strange earth spirit walked right inside. He didn't even state his name or any other information about himself."
For the briefest of moments, the sentient weapon's face registered a rather noticeable emotion; anger. He was tasked to keep the house safe and apparently in the short amount of time that was busy retrieving the demonic cat, someone had successfully managed to infiltrate the very area he was supposed to guard. That was simply unacceptable and he had no intention to let this person continue with their suspicious actions.
"Remain here. I'll handle this individual." Not waiting for a reply, the shape-shifter headed inside, following his sensor's readings. The intruder was located in Urd's room, although, there were signs that he must've searched the entire house, given that the rest of doors were left wide open.
"Oh what a cruel turn of events! Where might you be, Urd?" Standing in the middle of the half goddess' room, the plum tree spirit was posing melodramatically, as his search had proven to be utterly fruitless. Not only he was apparently talking to himself, but, he hadn't noticed the rapidly approaching weapon who had no intention to let him go on like that.
Grabbing him by the shoulder, Excalibur spun the tree spirit around with little care, demanding his attention. "Identify yourself."
Startled, Troubadour took a few moments to observe the man who simply appeared out of nowhere. He wasn't the same short guy that he met the last time, but, it made little difference for him. "That should be my line! Who are you and what are you doing in my darling Urd's room? Don't tell me that you're yet another male that lives under the same roof as her!"
"Who I may be is irrelevant. This is my room and you're trespassing my roommate's personal space. Furthermore, you have no business in this property, and I demand an explanation of your actions, before you are forcefully removed from the scene." Excalibur watched the initially puzzled intruder who visibly got rather agitated at his words.
"Roommate?!" shouted the horrified earth spirit, realizing the implications of such a word. "You're telling me that you're sleeping on the same room with... with Urd?!"
"Affirmative."
At this point, Troubadour was seething with anger, barely capable of doing more than shaking an accusatory finger towards the insolent man that stood before him. "Why you!... I was under the impression that my darling was seduced by a demoness. But... You're added in the list, too? U-Unforgivable! I won't stand this!"
The sentient weapon observed the tree spirit as he summoned a harp and prepared to play some kind of bizarre tune. 'Caution: curse detected. Analysis: creature summoning within affected target. Threat assessment: Ineffective against unit. Potentially harmful and painful towards immortals. Positively lethal for mortals.'
"By the time that this song will end, so will your existence!" bragged the somewhat confident Troubadour, strumming the harp as he cast his trademark curse. "Bugs... bugs.. creepy bugs on the march..."
If that individual had any chance to get out of this unscathed, he had just denied himself of that. Excalibur wasn't planning to use escalated level of force against a peaceful intruder, regardless of his rude behavior. An attack of any nature changed things, however, justifying a violent countermeasure.
The plum tree spirit's confidence started to weaver by the second, wondering what was wrong. By all means, the grey eyed man should've been in extreme pain by now and creaming in pure agony. Instead, he appeared to be fine and even worse, there was something terribly off with him. Troubadour could notice the same scent of power that was present in every earth spirit, even if he couldn't sense anything before. 'Surely a human wouldn't be able to...'
His thoughts were interrupted when he saw the man's fingers stretch, growing longer, while their tips transforming into a series of vicious looking blades. "H-Hold on a minute... You're not a human..."
There was no reply from his opponent, only silence as he stared back at him with the same look of apathy. However, all that changed in milliseconds, the exact amount of time that it took the earth spirit to blink. On moment the man was there, and the next was right in front of him, his knee coming into contact with Troubadour's chest, knocking the wind out of him.
"I'm not," was the delayed reply. "And you've just made a terrible error. You should've cooperated when you still had the chance."
XXX
At that very moment, at the other side of the city, Keiichi stood anxiously next to Chihiro and the rest of Whirlwind's employees, waiting for the event to end. He still wasn't totally convinced that the Mishima heiress wasn't going to pull any nasty trick on them, despite her rather polite manners. Letting out a sigh, he tried to remind himself not to be so negative. It was true that they had to deal with a few unexpected circumstances recently, but, getting paranoid wasn't a good thing.
After all, it's been a long while since Sayoko tried to mess around with them. So, it was probably going to be fine.
"What's wrong, Keiichi?" asked his wife, noticing his troubled expression.
"Nothing, Belldandy. I guess it's a bit strange that, Sayoko isn't looking for trouble," answered Keiichi.
"You shouldn't be so suspicious of others, or you'll eventually drive yourself away from everyone. Besides, she had been rather friendly on certain occasions, even in the past," said the brunette goddess trying to remind him of those incidents. "Not only she had gotten our tickets, but, she even spent some time with us, during the first New Year's day when we first came here."
Blinking, the young mortal tried to remember that day, a few years ago, when Sayoko, Megumi and most of the Motor Club decided to hang around the temple for most of the day. "Oh... Yes, we played that board game, too. I kinda forgot about it."
"You did?" asked the disappointed goddess of present. "We had even kissed towards the end of that game..."
Keiichi decided to remain as silent as possible, not wanting to further upset her. It was true that at the first year of her arrival they had a few rare kisses, but, for the reminder of her stay, things had gotten very slow. Actually, there were a couple of times that he even wondered why that was the case, since he knew nothing of the libido limiter. "Hm... Maybe I did forget that for a reason..."
Furrowing her eyebrows, Belldandy was momentarily confused, before she started to realize what he probably meant. It was possible that certain memories were somewhat suppressed for the sake of keeping his advances from getting too bold. In all honesty, she wasn't fully aware of the way that the limiter worked, other than its general purpose. "I see... I'm sorry to bring it up then..."
"It's not your fault, Belldandy. Besides, I kind of enjoy thinking about those incidents now," said Keiichi with a smile. "You know... some of my reactions back then were really funny!"
"Yes, I remember that, too." Giggling, the goddess was relieved that her husband was so kindhearted. Most people in his position would've held a grudge against her and Asgard for putting them in that situation. Humans in particular were very touchy when it came to restrictions, unlike immortals who were a bit more used to them, due to their licensing system.
The couple turned their attention back to the event after the winning number was announced. Looking around the gathered crowd, they searched for the lucky winner. Of course, it was entirely possible that it might've been someone that wasn't present right now and in that case they would've to end the event and wait for that person to claim their reward later.
Suddenly a surprised voice could be heard from amidst the crowd. "That's my number!"
Holding the winning coupon as high as she could, the mousy woman tried to make herself noticeable.
"Hold on... that's..." started Keiichi, before his wife finished that sentence for him.
"It's Hasegawa!" smiling widely, she joined the others as they all waived towards the current head of NIT's Motor Club.
"Not bad, Sora! You did it!" added Chihiro, who was more than happy that she was the winner.
As the young woman tried to get closer to the event's organizers in order to claim the prize, another person further back in the gathered crowd was also looking very excited.
"Can we go, now?" asked Peorth.
"Don't be so hasty! It's not done yet!" said Frigg, giving the rose goddess a pointed look. She was fully aware that the other brunette was eager to go shopping, but, she had to be patient. After all, that wasn't the reason why they came here in the first place.
"Aw... Oh well... I suppose it's only fair," admitted the goddess of the roses, as she tried to focus her attention back to the event, while Lind shook her head.
"Congratulations miss Hasegawa! You won our number one prize! A fully customized Yamaha FZR1000!"
XXX
High above the temple, Hild and her broom, Glühendes Herz, hovered leisurely while watching the events that were unfolding below. She had just arrived moments ago, after she took her time to give that earth spirit his chance to hopefully annoy her former mother-in-law to the point where she would give him a piece of her mind.
Unfortunately, that never came to be, as they had all gone and attended that raffle, leaving the temple completely empty save for Skuld's robots. Or so she thought, when a screaming plum tree spirit was hurled out of the front door with enough force that would've killed a human.
Smashing against the perimeter wall with a sickening crack, the beaten and utterly horrified being, struggled to get back on his feet, in a desperate effort to distance himself from the monster that was slowly making its way towards him. There was little left of his previous human appearance, as he was now a fully mechanical beast, tall enough that even its hunched and sickeningly thin form was scraping the ceiling of the house. His clothes were also gone, replaced by a couple of surprisingly flexible armor plates, with the rest of his exposed 'skin' being a type of highly reinforced scale-mail fabric, hiding its synthetic muscles which gave him an eerily natural way of movement.
Ducking under the entrance, in order to fit out of the door, the mechanical beast straightened up, now that he wasn't confined by the tiny interior of the house, before he turned towards his shaking opponent. With six optical sensors and four set of antennae surrounding the sharp angled and featureless metallic head, there was little to indicate its intentions. Of course given the otherwise menacing looks of this armored machine, there was no doubt that he wasn't there to make friends.
"S-Stay a-away f-from m-me freak of n-nature!" managed Troubadour, as he slipped back to the ground after an unsuccessful attempt to get up. What started out as a wonderful day was now a living nightmare. Urd was nowhere to be found, let alone talked out of her relationship, and this... thing was apparently unconcerned whether he killed him or not. He had tossed him around like a rag doll, without the slightest sign of doubt, hesitation, or even mercy. It looked as if he was merely planning to continue attacking him until he finally ceased to move.
Despite having no visible mouth, the entity decided to answer with a much deeper and electronic voice, that was probably designed as part of its psychological warfare algorithms. It wasn't just meant for communication, but also to instill fear to his opponent.
"You had demonstrated a complete lack of compassion when you were under the assumption that I was a human, planning to kill me for a petty reason. It is within my programming and authority given to me as part of Artificial Intelligence Squadron of Asgard to counter such action with an equal type of response. Your attempt to use lethal force will have its consequences. You'll be exterminated."
Watching from above, Hild was thoroughly enjoying herself. This was one of the few elusive items that she wanted to get her hands on, and she was lucky enough not only to run into it, but, see it in action. Excalibur, the latest model of Asgard's AI Squad, a unit specifically created to deal with the most troublesome situations that the celestials had to face. Of course, those synthetics weren't meant to fight against demons, as they lacked the sheer strength to do so. Instead, they were primarily tasked to engage all sorts of beings that her people had created and used, as well as earth spirits and even mortals.
In fact, it was a bit of a secret that earth spirits might've actually been their primary targets, even though, none of the members of the Fighting Wings wanted to admit it. Those immortal beings were supposed to stay out of their conflicts supporting neither gods nor demons, maintaining a neutral stance. Still, several individuals of their species often made it clear that they had their own preferences and involved into matters that they normally shouldn't have. For that reason, sometimes either sides had to deal with those who opposed them or simply assisted their enemies, although, the circumstances were occasionally problematic.
It was one thing to attack a rampaging monster and another to do the same to a peaceful individual who simply sympathized with your opponents. While demons didn't have such reservations, gods were another matter altogether and the truth behind the AI Squad was that they could carry out orders without the burden of a conscience. So, if a mortal made himself into a problem by forming a troublesome contract with a demon, there was a possibility that he or she would've one of those shape-shifters after them.
However, the fate of the squad was sealed when the latest unit was added to their ranks. In an ever increasing demand for power and new capabilities, their creator had decided to utilize low level earth spirits to make his greatest masterpiece. Ironically his grand success was his downfall, as he had never fully disclosed the exact nature of those spirits. More importantly, the members of the Councils were under the impression that those were non-sentient spirits, but, when the truth was revealed, they were appalled by his actions. Every single one of the entities used in Excalibur's creation had been self aware, and their personalities were irrevocably lost in the process of unifying them into a single hive mind.
There wasn't even a trial for that god, when the newly appointed Daitenkaicho, Tyr, ordered the Fighting Wings to storm his laboratory and use lethal force regardless of the circumstances. A rare case by all means, given the typical attitude of the celestials, but a reminder to those who decided to cross certain lines. Interestingly, the actual schematics of Excalibur were never recovered and given that the one who had originally exposed that scandal was Loki, Hild couldn't avoid wondering if he had somehow stolen them prior to that operation.
The sword itself was eventually kept away from sight for a long time, while the rest of the squad members were rarely used in any of the Fighting Wing's activities. Last time she heard about it, Excalibur was left in the mortal realm, but, quickly disappeared after a couple of years.
'I can't believe that it's right there! I want to get it, although...' There were a couple of issues with obtaining the sword for herself, no matter how much she would've loved that. Without the schematics, it was dangerous to attempt a full system reprogramming to follow her orders. The slightest mistake could render the unit inoperable and repairing it would be hard, too. Especially if the damage was significant.
Even more importantly, she was intrigued as to why it was currently at the temple. Additionally, it was about to give that pest the treatment he deserved for toying with her girl's feelings. And the best part was that nobody was going to held her responsible for that idiot's demise.
'Good riddance, I'd say...'
Indeed, on the ground the situation was turning even worse for the tree spirit, when the mechanical giant reached forward and formed a blade from his own body. It wasn't a common one, though, as the cutting edge was replaced by a series of teeth like indents that suddenly started to move along its length with blinding speed. Even more, the noise that it produced was a haunting one for any tree spirit; it was the sound of a chainsaw.
"Stop! I'll leave! I'll leave!" pleaded Troubadour, finally on his feet and attempting to find a way out of his predicament. The thing was already walking towards his direction and he still couldn't fly, and by the looks of it, time was running out.
"Oh, stop whining and take it like a man!" grumbled Hild, unhappy to see someone whimper before their end. It took all the pleasure away from a fight when they groveled and begged for their lives. Still, she seemed curious when the shape-shifter had actually stopped dead on his tracks. She was sure that the synthetic wasn't suddenly touched by Troubadour's attempt to save himself, and Hild was proven right when the mechanical behemoth turned his head upwards, staring at her. 'Oops... I should've remained quiet. Oh, that sucks!...'
Giving the newcomer a much higher priority, Excalibur was uninterested to deal with the noisy tree spirit. This demoness was an extremely dangerous one, even in her current reduced form. He wasn't designed for direct combat against demons, especially when they utilized their true strength. According to his analysis, the possibility of survival after an encounter with her was a flat 0%. As such, an alternative approach was much needed.
Melting back into his human form, Excalibur hoped that he could successfully use diplomacy and avoid certain death during a forceful confrontation with her. Perhaps he could use the fact that he was her daughter's roommate to appease her, before the situation deteriorated to an unrecoverable state.
"Greetings." After a brief evaluation of his approach, the shape-shifter was certain that this wasn't the most appropriate way to address the newcomer. However, it was too late to correct himself and try again, so, he waited for the Daimakaicho's response.
As her position was compromised, the demoness instructed her broom to lower their altitude, in order to have a more comfortable conversation with the divine weapon. "Hello there! Nice to meet you!"
"Likewise. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance," said Excalibur, looking at the childish demoness that hovered at his eye level. After some thought, he extended his hand towards her in a friendly gesture.
"My my... Aren't we polite... I'm impressed! Especially after you previous display of violence," said Hild with a warm smile, shaking his hand. "You seem like a smart individual who knows how to pick his targets. Although... your previous one is running away..."
Turning his head, he spotted the limping tree spirit, who had managed to get to the temple's staircase while he wasn't paying attention to him. As Troubadour noticed them staring at him, he hurried to escape, only to end up slipping on the ice and taking a tumble down the stairs.
"Are you gonna let him go just like that?" asked Hild, pointing towards the earth spirit's direction.
"I see no reason to pursue him. In the event he returns, I'd be more than happy to welcome him in a most suitable manner," replied Excalibur. Realizing that his attempt at using humor had no immediately observable result, he added a mental note that he needed to exercise his abilities at utilizing jokes.
"Great..." grumbled Hild, before she shook her head, smiling at the sentient weapon once again. "So... What are you doing here? I mean, isn't this a bit of an unlikely place for someone like you?"
"I must admit that it is. However, the same can be said about all the goddesses that currently reside in this house." Curiously, the shape-shifter watched Hild giggle, despite the fact that he was serious. 'I need to invest more time at analyzing humor.'
"Oh well... I guess that you're a more efficient guard than those two," said Hild, pointing at Skuld's robots that observed the scene from a distance. "Keiichi-kun must be lucky to have you here."
"That's incorrect. I'm currently living with your daughter. At least as far as the sleeping arrangements are considered." It was becoming more and more peculiar for Excalibur, as his comments were getting a very different response from what he anticipated. Hild was laughing so hard at the moment, that she nearly fell off her broom.
"Y-You're killing me! Do you even have any idea how hilarious you sound?" asked Hild, struggling to stay on Glühendes Herz. "That's almost like you're dating Urd!"
Excalibur tilted his head in confusion, and even after a few seconds of processing, he couldn't figure how his statement had led to that conclusion. Verbal communication was a much more difficult task than originally anticipated, considering that it was a mix of emotions, jokes, lies, sarcasm, and words that had various meanings under different contexts. He personally preferred direct digital transfer, as it was significantly easier to understand. Sadly he was one of the few who could converse in such sane method, forcing him to adapt into the majority's way of communication.
"I did not intend to give that impression. To begin with, dating someone is an activity outside of my primary functions. Furthermore, in that event I should've been considerably more cordial towards your person, given your association with Urd. According to Asgard's official statistics, it is extremely important for any potential suitor to make a good impression to their romantic interest's mother, as well as other females of her family; particularly the elder ones. Failure to comply to that unwritten rule typically leads to regret, broken relationships and on certain occasions, physical injury," explained the shape-shifter, having to crane his neck lower, as Hild was now dangling upside down the broom, while laughing hysterically.
After a few moments, she was once more in an upright position and giving the shape-shifter a pat on the head, she smiled. "Urd can keep you if she wants. You seem to be a funny individual, after all. Oh... and tell her I said hi."
Accelerating, the broom shot up in the sky heading towards Hild's base of operation on the mortal realm. Looking at the departing leader of the demons, Excalibur was uncertain what to make of the whole situation. The intruder had escaped death, although, the sentient weapon was fairly confident that he wasn't going to come back any time soon. As for Hild... the sword was unsuccessful at making total sense of her reactions.
'According to estimates based on behavioral models, there is a 59% probability that she was positive towards this unit. However, with the potential margin of error at 45%, this is a very uncertain conclusion.'
Turning around, he noticed the damaged spot of the perimeter wall, where he had thrown Troubadour and without any other pending tasks, he decided to fix the damage before the rest of the residents complained about it once again.
'Afterward, I need to prioritize my revaluation of social interaction. The current performance was deemed abysmal by 98,1% of my runtimes...'
XXX
Castle Utgard, Jotunheim
Sitting at his desk while holding the headset of the only phone in the room, Skrymir was listening to the report of one of his agents.
"Understood... There's no need for you to stay around that area, anymore. Report back immediately and wait for your next assignment." Ending the call, the red haired demons couldn't avoid smirking a bit, despite his otherwise stoic attitude.
Standing next to him with hands folded behind his back, Bergelmir noticed his boss' expression. "I suppose that everything went well, sir?"
"More or less. It wasn't exactly what we were expecting to happen, but, it was a very positive outcome nonetheless," said Skrymir, turning his attention to the hooded person who waited patiently in front of his desk. "This is where you come in, Vidarr. Do you understand your task?"
The white clad god nodded slowly, staring at the data cylinder that he got moments ago. This was going to be the most dangerous operation that he had ever attempted, and for a moment he felt tempted to simply decline and forget about it. After all, as a god he was outside of their jurisdiction and therefore, they couldn't just order him to do anything. Still, he wasn't going to turn tail in fear, so, he nodded back at the head of the demonic Intelligence Sector.
"Yes, I know what to do," said the god. "Although, it's not going to be an easy task..."
"Believe me, I'm fully aware of that fact," said Skrymir. "That's exactly the reason why we need a god to do this. Just infiltrating the mainframe is very difficult for a demon, let alone complete the job. Once you arrive at Asgard, seek assistance from our contact there. You know who I'm talking about."
"I do." Tucking the cylinder in his uniform, the god let out a sigh, before he turned towards the door. "If there's nothing more, I'd like to start with my assignment."
"No, that's all. Just make sure that you won't get caught." The red haired demon watched the god depart, while he considered his next move. So far, the variation in this particular plan was of no consequence to them. With minor adjustments, everything would be fine and he would have to make sure that this was the case; one fiasco in his entire career was more than enough for him.
As soon as they were alone, Skrymir turned to his subordinate. "Bergelmir."
"Yes, sir?"
"Contact Surt and offer him a detailed description of what took place in the mortal realm. It may be a bit soon, but, I want no errors this time," said the head of the Intelligence Sector. "Also, try to make sure that he's going to show restrain... I want a clean operation, not a massacre."
"Understood. With your permission, I'll do that, right away," said Bergelmir.
"You're free to go," said Skrymir. Watching his subordinate as he headed towards the gate room, the head of the Intelligence Sector was finally alone in his almost empty office.
'Soon... Very soon, we're going to show them the true meaning of being helpless.'
AN: I would like to thank everyone that has offered their feedback and support both here and on the Goddess Relief site.
There are a few things that I'd like to note for this chapter.
The credit card that, Frigg shows in this chapter is merely something that she got for her vacation only. Neither gods nor demons have an actual currency, as explained in previous chapters. That's just for the sake of covering some expenses for their vacations on the mortal realm.
Excalibur is described as a 'he' in this story, given the synthetic's decision to assume a male form. Of course, a few characters that aren't aware about that, may still call him 'it' given that they consider the intelligent sword to be a thing. That happened when Hild first saw him, and it's not just an error on my part. Of course, this doesn't meant that, Excalibur cannot assume other forms at will (including female ones). That's merely his 'default' one when he interacts with others, while his actual form remains that of the sword.
The photo that was mentioned in this chapter was the one taken when they headed in that bar. Even if there's absolutely nothing there to indicate that they're in a relationship, Troubadour is enough of a jealous and paranoid person to take anything out of proportions and get his own conclusions. Just like he did with Keiichi, when he first met him.
Speaking of the plum tree spirit, there are no indications in the series as to what Hild thought about him. After all, he appeared a lot sooner than her, and Urd's past relationships were never brought back after that point. My assumption is that she wouldn't have liked him, but, given her shaky relationship with her daughter, it would've been hard to do anything about him.