Love Struck Delusion

Chapter 150 – Where to go from here.

Raptor's POV.

As I walked I kept Zeta's rifle in my right hand and at my side. Held it by the barrel as I looked up at the moon and continued my walk back home. The sky was dark. The moon was bright and whole. My whole body felt numb and I had no reason to believe this would be the end of it. All this power? I knew I was changing. I felt cold back there talking to Ness. I had the instant urge to kill him. But for some reason I wanted to do more. I wanted to taste him. Bite his fucking throat out the second he hit her the way he did. I don't know why I felt this way. I've always been cold and a killer, but that felt like something more. Reminded me when I shoved Smoke through that plane turbine way back when. I just wanted to kill him. Maybe I was reverting back to the old Raptor. Or maybe it was something else.

As I shut my eyes I instantly felt a presence along my left side. I knew who it was and to be honest I was happy he was here. Hearing another set of footprints in the sand alongside me, I reopened my eyes as he wondered.

"You seem calm. Dare I ask why?"

Just keeping my eyes ahead I replied.

"I have faith Pierce and his men will bring her back. My focus now is on Syria and the rebellion from here after."

"Hey hold up a second Raptor." Stopping my roll, I turned to match eyes with the black fox. His height was my own and his eyes were something else. I grew curious as I saw his were actually green. Green with the same white haze mine now had. Giving me a small chuckle Marcus said with a happy tone.

"Motherfucker why are you so lucky?"

"Cause of you." I replied with a small laugh as he reached out to push me gently with his right hand.

"Shut up. You get purple. That's the one color I always wanted. But as you can see now...I got green."

Growing curious I wondered.

"What are you talking about? Didn't you do this?"

Keeping a straight face Marcus replied while getting a foot closer.

"Not how it works I'm afraid."

"So how does it work then?" I wondered as he quickly replied while putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Not the way I wanted it too. Let's just say that."

With his touch matching the same temperature my body had, I then had to ask as he got a good look at my eyes for himself.

"Did you come for something? Or is this just another social visit?"

With that Marcus released his hand on me to just reply with a lost look on his face.

"Can't I just check in once in a while?"

"No." I replied as he rolled his eyes to the response to reply back.

"I have a right to watch. After all you wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for me."

"Ya that reminds me. Fuck you for that." I told him as I turned to start slowly walking. Getting a foot or two ahead of him, Marcus remind where he was to shout.

"Excuse me!? Fuck you too! Up till a few nights ago I was content keeping my ass in the dark! Then you went ahead and had me help you save a fucking puppy!"

I just smiled as it was clear I hit a nerve. In seconds Marcus ran back to my side to go on his rant.

"I kill people Raptor! Saving lives isn't my job here! Putting all this trust in you as a mortal means I'm expecting more lives to be taken!"

"That how this works?" I asked him as he went on to reply.

"That's how it always worked! When I helped Shadow all those years back, yes I fucked with him and drove him insane! But he got more people killed! Which made me happy! It's always how it works out Raptor! Keeping you alive is going to net me more death! Don't you understand that by now with all you've been through!?"

Nodding my head I replied.

"I didn't need a god to tell me I was the one responsible for more people getting killed. I knew that well before it became your quota as my guardian."

"Okay now you're making it sound like I like you." He stated as I quickly questioned.

"You don't?"

Instantly Marcus widened his eyes to reply.

"I mean I do and I don't. I do cause you get people killed. I don't cause what's the point in me being who I am if I liked you?"

Stopping in my tracks to look at him, I replied with a sense of confusion to my voice.

"I think that's bullshit Marcus."

Instantly he said back.

"Okay hold on a second. Don't call me that. It sounds weird."

"Sounds weird? You serious?"

Nodding he replied.

"Your the first person to know my name! Of course it's weird! I'm the god of death! The puppet master who bends life from the shadows! I'm not real! I don't exist!"

"You just never got close enough to anyone you fucked with. Especially the guys who already know their fucking insane. Like me." Marcus just had wide eyes as I went on to say.

"Shadow was scared of you. For good fucking reason too. But I gave up on being scared the night I shot Ghost and Midnight. I know I'm lost as fuck in this world. I already know my soul is in your hands after I die, so what the fuck do I have to be scared of? A fox like you? Nah Marcus. If anything, since I'm not scared I get to be the first guy to ask you questions. How long has it been since you had someone who actually gave a fuck about how you were feeling?"

In utter loss of words Marcus struggled but replied.

"I'm...I'm the god of death Raptor. What the fuck does it matter how I'm feeling?"

Smiling at him I replied.

"Cause somewhere deep down in that cold heart you have. I know you were someone at one point in time. Maybe not like me, but you were for sure as shit someone. That means you have a past. That means you had people you grew to know and trust...maybe love." I stated as he widened his eyes to my words. Reaching out I pointed at his heart.

"Somewhere and at some point you were someone. In there you were once a person. Maybe thousands of years ago sure. But you were someone and somehow you became this. A god. Color me curious, but it sounds like a good story to hear. So?"

Looking to the finger I had placed on his chest, Marcus gently pushed my hand aside to reply.

"So what?"

Sighing to his response I replied.

"If you wanted me dead I'd be dead. If you were only interested in me getting people killed and had faith, you would have remained on the sidelines after that night with Molly. You wouldn't be standing here now if for some reason you weren't interested in talking. You have feelings and you have spent probably so long in the dark that you forgot what it was like to be someone. To just talk with someone. I think since this all started and you saw I was capable of handling your power, that you grew fond of me and maybe you think I'm worth the time to get to know. Cause clearly your not trying to drive me mad with anymore of your games. You're right here! In the flesh!" I stated as Marcus was just staring at me in disbelief to what I was saying.

Keeping a smile on my face I went on to say.

"I think I'm your friend Marcus. I think you like me. I also think you have a lot to say. A lot to tell and a lot to get off your chest. I think me and you can actually work out as a thing."

"A thing?" He questioned as I nodded.

"I'm not about to be your boyfriend Raptor. I still remember when you kissed Shadow. I know you have a bi side in ya."

Instantly I begged.

"Don't! Remind me of that please!" Marcus just chuckled as I finished what I was trying to say.

"I just basically think we're friends. You just don't know how to really say it or express it. Probably because you've been alone for so long. Talking to someone in a serious manner has probably faded on you."

Marcus just looked away as I pushed it a step forward by wondering.

"Just look at me right now. After all this shit you've put me through. After all the shit I've done to get to this point. Don't you think I'm worth a second of your time?"

Looking back to me with a look that said it all, Marcus replied.

"I think you're clearly something else. You're far from being normal and you're actually aware of how crazy you are. Everyone else in the world who would be in your shoes would be scared to death of me. Just because of who and what I am. I think your fucking insane but on a whole other level. You really think I'm your friend?"

"I find it hard to believe you would be here now asking that question if I already wasn't." I said with a smile as he widened his eyes to go absolutely silent.

Approaching the fox, I said while putting my hand around his shoulder.

"I'm not asking for an answer. Just trying to see if you still have a heart in there somewhere. At the least answer me this. Do you like me?"

We began to slowly walk as he replied.

"In a weird sort of way ya."

Pushing him to the side I shouted.

"Thank you! That's all I wanted to hear!"

Catching his footing, he replied with equal force in his voice.

"That doesn't mean we're friends!"

I knew he was lying. Fucking guy.

With things calming down between us and soon our footsteps being the only noise around. I looked over to him to see he was staring right up at the moon. Keeping my tone light and relaxed I wondered.

"Is there anything else I need to be worried about?"

"About what?" He replied as I restated.

"About this. What I am now. I know I'm no longer normal. I'm pretty much a demigod Marcus. The power I have, the vision I have, the thoughts I have, the ability to read minds and feelings, and the power over life and death. I'm turning into something else. Slowly and very painfully I am. I just want to ask now since I don't know when I'll see you next after this. But is there anything else coming?"

Looking to me as we walked side by side he asked.

"Can you phase walk? Have you tried?"

In confusion I replied.

"Not that I know of. What is that?"

Reaching over to stop me, Marcus replied while grabbing onto my shoulders.

"Stand still. I'll show you."

With that I remained stationary and watched with a careful stare as Marcus took a step into my body. Instantly I felt cold inside as he went all the way through. Once behind me he said.

"That's phase walking. The ability to walk through solid matter. It's natural once you achieve the powers you have. But you'll never know till you try." The way he said that made me feel like I could actually preform such an act. Turning around to face him directly he urged.

"Give it a shot."

"Should I be trying to do something?" I asked unsure as he quickly replied while shaking his head.

"Nothing more then you already do. Just focus on what it is your trying to go through and relax your body. Just breathe and go. Try it on me. Worst outcome; you'll just bump into me."

Nodding my head I just went for it. Stepping forward I focused right on him. Marcus just smiled as I felt my body go light. It was hard to describe what exactly I was feeling. Like one second I could feel my mass then the next it was gone. The second I touched his body I just felt everything in my head go dark. It wasn't the same feeling I had when I was first healing Molly. It was more like I just zoned out and the second I ended up behind him it all came back. Like a very weird blink. Marcus on the other hand smiled and asked.

"So? How was it? Weird right?"

I was at a loss to be honest. This shit was unreal. Marcus however just waited for my answer as I took my care in coming up with the words to respond with.

"Yeah that's one way to put it."

Nodding Marcus replied.

"You'll get use to it. Takes some time but it'll happen."

Refocusing on my own mind I asked.

"You got anything to say about this?" Pointing to my chest Marcus looked at me in confusion to question.

"What?"

Letting out a sigh, I replied while lowering my hand.

"My heart?"

"Oh." He then said as I had to ask bluntly.

"I'm dead. Is that just some sort of side effect to all this? Cause I need some sort of understanding here Marcus. The further this goes the more I really do believe this is all some bad dream."

Nodding Marcus then replied while beginning to walk around me.

"You already know the answer. You said it already Raptor. Your demi. You gave up on being a true mortal the second we signed our agreement. But I'll be honest, I thought you were going to die way sooner." He stated as I followed him with my eyes only.

"Your powers are basically mine. I still hold some things over you of course, but regardless you have all the tools. Your body had to stop to be able to keep up with it all."

"Won't I decay or something?" I asked still not really following. Stopping in front of me he replied.

"That would be crazy Raptor. Fantasy really. Hehe."

I just gave him a smirk as it was clear he was enjoying this now.

"Think of it like this. Your body just stopped. It's not getting any older and it's not getting any younger. It's like you're frozen and it will stay that way so long as you maintain your strength."

"How do I do that?" I then asked as he looked into my eyes to reply.

Probably by doing the same thing I do. Kill. Meditate. Relax."

With that everything went silent. Marcus looked for a reaction as I just turned to start walking. In confusion Marcus asked.

"Where you going?"

"Home."

"Wait your done asking me questions?" He then asked in disbelief as I shook my head to reply.

"Everything I ask I already seem to know the answer to. So what's the point?" I asked him as he ran back to my side to reply.

"Oh come on, don't be like that."

Stopping once again, I turned to put full focus on the fox. Placing his hand on my left shoulder he urged.

"Just relax for a second. It takes more then a few sentences to explain what is going on with you now."

Smiling I then wondered.

"Oh yeah?"

Nodding Marcus replied.

"Yeah. Just let me try to explain at least. You can't pretend like your not curious."

He was right. I was curious to say the least. Staring at one another I then stated.

"What else is there to explain? You just said it yourself. I'm dead and that's cause I'm a demigod and my body needed to stop so I could maintain the power. Having organs like a heart probably isn't good when my body has to go into overdrive all the time."

Nodding Marcus then added.

"You're in this weird spot right now Raptor. You're body is still adapting clearly. But you're more or less what I never expected you to be. Your turning into a demon. I never would have guessed your body could undergo the mutations the way it did. It's impressive to say the least."

"Well you never tried it on another mortal right? Guess there was a lot of hope involved." I said with a small smile as he nodded once to reply.

"Right now you need to focus on your powers. Make sure you can keep going. Cause as you saw with me that night; I nearly passed out on you. Even myself has limits. You still being new to the whole idea has to mean something."

"I think I'll be fine." I told him as I tried to take another step towards the city. Marcus instantly grabbed my arm to beg.

"Listen to me for a second Raptor."

Matching eyes with the fox, I listened as he said with a careful tone.

"You're doing things I never expected you to do. Your putting me in a weird place cause I'm pretty sure I'd get my ass chewed out if someone found out about our little deal. And like it or not I know you're starting to open up with people around you. That stunt you pulled earlier today? How do you explain that?"

"I don't have too. I plan to keep it all to myself, but rule with an iron fist. My men and women are scared of me Marcus. But a good scared. They respect me and they trust me."

"What if you draw too much attention?" He then asked I let out a sigh to think.

"I don't care what you do. Just don't go overboard. Okay?"

Smiling I then wondered.

"You sure your not my boyfriend? You sound quite concerned."

Releasing my arm Marcus replied.

"What are you talking about? This is my job right now. Watching after you I mean."

Taking a step closer to the fox, I leaned in close to whisper.

"Who would have thought the god of death would be so...worried? You know...under all this you might actually be...a nice guy."

Marcus widened his eyes as it was clear what I was trying to do now to him. His face was utterly speechless and not a sound left his mouth as I kept close. I was probably the same distance I held Zeta at with him. Keeping my voice soft I went on to say.

"Just look at me."

Shutting his mouth, Marcus just continued to stare me down in disbelief to what was happening. Just smiling I went on further to wonder.

"You don't have to say it. I already know. I mean...how couldn't I?" Giving the fox a wink of my right eye, I pulled off and just chuckled. Instantly he stated with a very scared tone.

"That's not funny Raptor."

Breaking out into an actual laugh I replied.

"But it really is. Haha."

Starting my walk one more time, Marcus remained where he was. His voice gone and his thoughts stationary as I soon stopped to ask.

"You coming?"

At that moment it seemed to me like I actually broke his train of thought for once. Cause instantly he replied.

"What?"

"Are you coming?" I asked again as he again questioned.

"What are you talking about?"

Stopping to look back at him I replied.

"You haven't left yet. That means you must have something else to say. That or...you want to tag along."

Immediately Marcus defended himself.

"You just basically flirted with me you deranged fuck! I'm sorry but I'm still trying to get myself together here!"

All I could do was give him a frown as he went on to say still holding a defensive tone.

"Even if I wanted to come; I can't. We'd cause too much trouble together. I'm sure of it."

"No your not." I replied as he growled to add on.

"There isn't anything I want to do! Especially with you Raptor!"

This guy was actually crumbling before me. The god of death. I had a god at a standstill. For the first time in my life knowing this demon I had him in a complete loss for what to say or do next. He was panicking as I just continued to smile at him. After another moment he said with a faltering voice.

"I'm serious."

It was at that moment I grew absolutely curious of this question. I had to ask and he had to have picked up on my next thought cause his face went red as I asked with interest in my voice.

"You want to go hang out for a bit? I have time."

Marcus instantly broke out into a mash up of sounds and unreadable words as I just smiled at him one more time. After a few failed attempts to answer me, I pushed it a step further to ask.

"How long has it been since you actually did something in the physical realm? Years? Stop being a tough guy for two seconds and just answer me honestly."

Marcus shutter slightly but replied.

"Try a hundred."

Giving him an offer of my hand I then urged.

"Well time to break the dry streak. Let's go do something. You look real enough, so just put on something a bit more...rebellion and maybe we can make something work. You changed appearance all the time before so do it now."

Marcus was very slow to respond, but with my eyes watching over him I watched as he suddenly formed a new set of cloths. He actually copied Shadow's old look. To be honest though the look went across more then just him. Everyone in the army kept to the same type of cloths. It's hot a fuck all the time so Marcus got himself a brown tank top and a pair of brown combat cargos matching my own. However on top of his shirt was a vest. One that brought back memories. Enough memories that I didn't have to ask why he chose that vest above all the others. Only difference is it held my old rank as a Major on it's patches, but it was the same vest I wore. We looked like two clones almost. Only difference besides him being a fox and me being a hedgehog was that Marcus actually for some reason came off as a nice guy at first glance. I was convinced he was, but to others who have never seen him; I get the feeling they might be concerned. Too bad for anyone who was concerned, I didn't plan on getting anyone else involved in this little date. This was going to be the first time I actually had the chance to be in the same place with him and not have him asking me questions or reading my mind. Maybe if I was lucky I'd be the one asking the questions. My owner or not, I still wanted to know more about it. As I gave his outfit a good look he soon asked.

"So?"

Smiling I replied.

"I think you'll be fine. Anyone asks just let me do the talking. God of death or not I don't want you getting anyone suspicious. If there is one thing I'm good at it's bullshitting."

Marcus nodded his head and as I turned to walk he wondered.

"You sure about this?"

Keeping my smile as he got to my side, I replied with a sure tone.

"One hundred percent. Just trust me. Nothing crazy will happen this time."

"I doubt that." He said back as I let out another laugh. Marcus actually smiled to my response as I looked over to his green eyes to reply.

"Let's just get back already. We have time before Juper and the others attack and come back with Zeta. So till then...enjoy the silence."

mT Shadow.