Mapleshade held the panting down, sealing her mouth shut. She stalked quietly through the dense brush, thorns and nettles tearing at her already torn pelt, like claws. Pricking undergrowth surrounded her on all sides, like enclosing green cave, dim dreams of light narrowly breaking through the tiny slits among the ceiling of leaves. Beyond the leafy cover, the loud gushing loud of rushing water as she followed the gorge river. Spreading her weight evenly across her paws, she slipped under another bracken brach, trying to not make a sound. Her were tufted ears pricked and nostrils flared at every heartbeat, always on edge from the hoovering danger of a Riverclan patrol, feeling like helpless prey. Yet her fear was unwarranted, she'd was far past any Riverclan scent marks.
She shouldn't have put it past Appledusk to be hoovering around his old home like a pestering fly. Even after everything his clanmates had to do to him and his kits, the daft tom still flocked to the rivers, letting native nostalgia blind him. Her son and old mate's stale scent had brought her far up the gorge river. This far north up its banks meant it wasn't really inside a gorge anymore, instead the banks were more like small pebbly beaches, allowing the river to stretch out, now much wider. Yet somehow, it was much deader than further upstream as it burrowed it's way into Riverclan territory. The current was dragged along even faster as it approached the sheer drop off a tall cliff, to create a mighty waterfall. Which Mapleshade stared at in astonishment.
The torment of flowing water must have been height of the tallest of pines, endless foam and bubbles hissing at its base. And the roar it made was deafening. Despite wanting to wonder at it some more like a kit, she forced herself on, she came here for a far more important reason then sightseeing. If Bloomheart hadn't gone for Petal to avenge his mate, then that only left Patchkit and Appledusk. Luckily for her, smooth slabs on stone lay on the cliffside, making for an easy way up. Though annoyingly, it seemed to have been carved by Twolegs, that same shiny stone used to silver poles at the edge of each slab, probably so no overexcited twoleg kit went careening off the side. But Mapleshade reluctantly accepted the help of their structure, in a race against time.
As she stumbled the last of the way, up to the top, a small woodland come into view, wide spaces between the stumpy trees. Yet somehow, despite it being leafbare, the grass still glowed a bright green. Thick hedges bordered this sides of the field, not enough undergrowth for a flushing Thunderclan cat. Deciding to remain safe, she entered the maze of the jagged stones that lined the river's edge, smooth under the paw and creamy in colour. At last, the burden woodland made way for a long stretching patch of reeds, dead logs sticking out the ground like brown fangs. The tree surrenders to marshes, filled with dried bracken and moss covering the stony ground. Like a mix of Windclan and Riverclan territory. Finally the first sign of life, serval old fish bones scattered by the water's edge. Relief flooded over her, when scents lingering in the air were familiar, a strange mix of Thunderclan and Riverclan, even a bit of rouge forming.
Hissing to herself, Mapleshade considered ways to stop their pure scents from being corrupted, Petal was already a lost cause, unsure if she felt guilty or happy after ripping out her eye. The only one left was Patchkit, to fulfil her dreams of becoming the ultimate Clan cats. There were plenty of useless lumps of fur to kill off pests like mice and birds, but where was the pest control for cats? They would be the predators of cats, killing anyone who dared threatened them.
Following the trial, the signs of life only continued to grow, more bones and more scents, fresh and old alike. "Dad!", a familiar voice suddenly whaled out. Instantly, Mapleshade's head flung from the ground, searching the nearby shorelines. Sure enough, there was a large crashing of water as two cats plummeted into the deep waters.
Then relief flooded over her as the two cats resurfaced, a pale brown and Calcio head bobbing in the water, both failing to notice her yet from behind the wall of reeds. Irritation made her whiskers twitch, on how far they'd fallen since their days with her. They shouldn't let their guard ever, she hadn't even disguised her scent. If she were Bloomheart, then she could have easily snatched up Patchkit in the blink of an eye. The kit scrambled up the protruding stones, his pelt drooping with water, making him look like a long-hair cat. He perched on a narrow ledge, shelving, feeling sorry for himself. Without shouting, any words were impossible to make out from this distance, as the father and son continued to joke and laugh with each other.
Having enough, she strolled out of the reeds, walking alongside the bank towards them. The first to spot her was Patchkit, with Appledusk quickly following. Their faces twisting with a whole storm of emotions. Then Appledusk plunged out of the river with a massive splash, standing his ground, hissing, "Go away!", he ordered. Mapleshade should of expected this from her mousebrained former mate. Mapleshade taking another step closer anyway. Yet, Patchkit joined his father's side, tail flaring up like a fern branch. "Leave before someone gets hurt!".
Mapleshade halted, gasping. Confusion swirling her mind, blurring her vision. How could they treat her like this? "I'm your mother, Patchkit!", she exclaimed loudly, a tree-length between them, "Or have you forgotten that?".
Patchkit's eyes widen, seemly unable to answer, shuffling serval paces back, nervous. Was the kit just confused? Before she starts to approach again, Appledusk placed a tail between her and Patchkit, hissing twice as loud as before. Mapleshade's claws scraped against the bare rock, making a sharp screeching noise. Appledusk couldn't do this! "Patchkit my son as well, Appledusk. You can't keep me away from him!".
"His name is Patchpaw now and Yes I can.", the bitter tom retorted, "If you're willing to kill me, then I can't trust you with our kits either.". There was a pause, as his green eyes flicked wildly among the landscape, as if desperately searching for something. "Where's Larchkit?", he demanded.
Mapleshade flinched, her weakness threatening to be exposed, that she hadn't been able to control her last obedient son. "He's joined Shadowclan.", she finally forced herself to admit. Patchpaw and Appledusk shared weary glances, all too aware of the treatment the Clans gave to half-clan cats. Eventually, Appledusk shrugged, "Well-.", he muttered, "At least he's finally away from you.". Mapleshade felt like her whole body was freezing over, slowly turning to ice, in complete disbelief. Each that came out of Appledusk's mouth was like a sharp icicle, stabbing her. Where those really cats she'd once knew? The cat she'd once loved and the cat she'd given birth to? She felt hollow inside. Not realizing, she still hadn't done what she comes to do.
"Have you seen Bloomheart recently?", she mumbled, half-heartedly. From on top of the rocks, Appledusk immediately stiffen up, "Him again?", he growled, "What's he doing now?". From behind him, Patchpaw shrivelled up like a rotting berry, probably getting haunting flashbacks to the cat the had tried to kill each one of his siblings, him being the only one that had yet to get his teeth around.
"I think he's going after us again after I killed his mate.", she replied, almost whispering.
At those words, Appledusk's burst into a fit of snarling and clawing the earth under his paws, like a raging badger. But that was nothing compared to the utter hatred that exploded in the innocent Patchpaw. Tearing Appledusk's tail aside like a piece of frail grass, he stampeded towards her, fur blazing like a wildfire and eyes narrowed to a snake's. Mapleshade shook in her pelt. Who was this cat? "Murderer!", he howled, snapping her. Mapleshade stumbled back, shaking. "Get out! Just leave, we don't want you here!". Mapleshade's heart turned to stone, motionless like stone, in absolute horror.
In the background, Appledusk casually dipped his head, "You heard the kit - Leave.".
She stumbled aimlessly, into trees, maybe some bushes as well, covered in thick sheets of shadow, frantic.
Wildly, she began to pace around the narrow clearing, her mind reeling.
Movement in corners of her fierce red eyes.
Were the trees growing around her, were they enclosing on in on her?
Halting, she twisted, growling, expecting someone to be there. A flicker of light. Was that someone? Rearing up onto her hind legs, she brought down her whole weight onto the bush, pounding it with all her might. Yet, the leaves just rustled. Nothing. There wasn't anyone there? There had to be someone there.
No, there wasn't. Was there? There couldn't be. Why would anyone want to go after this worthless lump of bones and flesh? A stain. Only taking up space, it that was she was?
No one- Nobody- Not even the moles that burrow beneath the mud and diet would want her. She was below it. Wasn't she?
Was that they thought of her, a piece of crow-food to be buried under the earth, to be forgotten? Everything and everyone has done that to her! Even the Siamese rouge. Why hadn't he killed her? Wasn't she worthy prey? Was she not worth his time? Why hadn't he gone after her kits yet?
A presence hooved above her, just out of reach. A green den, filled with warm light, birds singing, cosy soft moss, three bundles of homeless fur at her swollen belly, the sweetest of scents. Their round young faces, filled with wonder as they explored the big wide world, so ignorant to the nightmares that lay within.
But those weren't their faces. They weren't the kits she knew.
Their faces were enraged, bitter, blank, pity, terrified-
Not her kits. Those weren't her kits. Her kits were the ones that wouldn't judge her, the ones that would see the spark of light in her no matter what she did. No matter how many times her paws were stained red.
Strangely, she didn't seem to move anymore. Not standing anymore either. Laying down?
What is she doing now? What was it she felt? Hopeless? Hollow? Was she just going to stay here, die and rot away?
Her Heartbeat pounding- beating of a crow's tattered wings as it set off into the black skies- Wind rustling the dead leaves- snuffling as a mouse under a withered bush searched in vain for a life-giving nut - a kit's voice- his voice - Patchkit's younger voice like honey - "I never want to leave you."
Split like toxic venom drilled down the side of her hanging mouth. You'd leave me, you said... Liar! Snakeheart! Traitor!
Those things weren't her kits anymore. She was their mother. She created them. She gave them flesh and bone, She gave them the right to live and she should have the right to take it away.
They should have drowned back in that raging river all those moons ago! At least, then, they'd still be hers. They'd be her kits, no one else's.
She twisted around. If she lost those ones, no matter. She'd get a new one. A new, fresh start.
A gentle pattern of leaves, like raindrops, dripped onto the forest floor. Rain. Water. Streams. Rivers.
Riverclan.
Now she knew exactly where to get a new one.