Love Struck Delusion

Chapter 200 - Down to business.

Raptor's POV, an hour later.

Everything was out there now in the open for my old team to understand. I got an equal amount of questions back during that time and once it was all said and done I knew I could trust them. Roz and the others were sticking to my old code. You can fuck with me. You can fuck with my men. But never fuck with my motives. They knew if this was what I thought was best then it had to be the best option. With Archer and the city in a downhill twist, they were ready and able to help me. For that I could never pay them back for. To stay by my side even after hearing all that? I couldn't ask for better friends. Char who among them all was probably the closest person I could see filling someone like Shadow's shoes. Problem was he didn't see that yet. One day he will but he has my hand through any trouble he may find along the way. But for now all that would have to wait. We can't risk drawing too much attention, so after hearing what I had to say they decided it was best to get going. I'd work with them soon and I told them such. For now they're orders were to collect me any intel on just about anything. I need to know what's going on and Char and the others are inside and in the best spots to do it. With they're help I'll get a fighting chance in the days to come. Now I was left to my own. Sitting in the same spot in my living room. Cody and Blitz were in charge of watch for tonight. The trucks were gone so as long as we keep quiet no one will know any better. However my two…...bodyguards were doing just that. Just standing there looking at me in silence as I was thinking. Not just about the problems I now faced, and they could see it. Looking up to them I urged.

"I'm okay." My voice was low and sad. It's hard to be happy and calm when you are surrounded by memories of your recently deceased kids and wife. I could still see Ghost sitting on that couch telling me he didn't want to go to the movies. I could see Midnight in the kitchen tossing around a box of mashed potatoes. I could feel Alicia with her hand over my shoulder just telling me things would get better. At this point I could feel my claws digging into my knees as I had them firmly clasped. With both their masks on Zeta asked.

"You sure?"

I didn't respond. I just cuffed my words and stood up. The two of them remained where they were as I began to walk towards them. Neither of them thought I would keep coming so I just tapped into my power and walked right through. Half through Zeta and half through Pepper I went. Almost instantly they jumped a foot back as I proceeded to walk upstairs. Surprisingly they followed along as I stopped at the top of the stairs to look around. My room was first on my right. Then a guest room and another smaller bedroom. On the left was the bathroom, a closet where we kept a washer and dryer and at the very end of the hall was Ghost's and Midnight's room. I stared at it for a few seconds before stepping towards my bedroom. However before I could enter I stopped one more time. My whole being paused as I stared at a framed family photo just left of my door.

Zeta's POV.

Pepper and I held back on the step just under the top of the stairs and we watched in silence as Raptor stood there shaking slightly. Pepper and I might not have known his family but we both understood that reaction he was having right now to seeing them. My heart was breaking under all this armor and looking over to my sister I watched as her focus for once was completely on him. Then I saw her shaking. As my eyes went back to Raptor I watched as he clutched his fist. Stepping forward in fear he was going to punch it in half, I went to speak when he suddenly released his stance and his clutch. Pepper remained back as he slowly walked away and into the room. Slowly I walked after and found him standing in front of a big bed. His eyes and head began to pan the room. I even saw tears in his eyes and once one of them fell down his face, I reached up to lift up my mask and say in sadness.

"Raptor?"

He just stood there. Now he looked directly down as Pepper came in finally to see for herself just why I was getting emotional. Her mask came up next as she was still shaking. I took a moment to look back at her. Her face said it all. I couldn't help but now try and say something.

"Raptor…...please just…..?"

"Just what?" He asked me. My eyes widened. I wasn't expecting him to answer. But he went on further to ask us as we now committed ourselves to helping him.

"Just try not to think about it? Just try not to see their faces roaming the halls?" Raptor looked back to us to just wait for an answer. All I could manage to do was mutter the first part of my sentence back in an attempt to respond.

"I…..I…..you…?" Soon he asked me.

"You want me to pretend like I didn't love them? Pretend like I didn't have a wife? Pretend that I didn't sit on this bed and bottle feed my baby boy Zeta?"

I was collapsing. Everything I wanted to say was leaving me the more depressed he made this on me. But just as things were quieting down Pepper urged him.

"What she's trying to say Raptor is….just…...just don't forget them."

I widened my eyes and looked back at her as Raptor now looked past me to listen.

"It hurts to forget. Remember all you can. It's easier to accept the past then run from it."

"Pep?" I muttered while stunned she even decided to say anything. She had no right to. She didn't understand, but neither did I if you ask anyone watching from the sidelines. No one has the right to tell this man how he should feel. Not with something like this. But she couldn't have said it better. It's what I wanted to say but couldn't. I was more concerned with helping him feel better. Not giving him the hard truth. Raptor took a moment to wipe his eyes as my sister remained by the door concerned with what might come from saying something like that. Concerned for any backlass I tried to say to Raptor as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Raptor we only want to help. Please don't be upset."

The hedgehog before me ignored me now as his focus was on the ground under his feet. He shut his eyes and my sister and I listened as he just breathed. After a second or two the room got colder and I knew it was from something else. With the tension too thick to cut I told my only remaining friend.

"We'll leave you alone. If you need anything…...please come see us. We're here."

Raptor slowly nodded his head once and with that I gave him this frown and backed up into my sister who I urged with a hand to her wrist.

"Come on."

She came without a problem and once out in the hallway I shut the door. With my eyes soon leaving the door, I looked back to her face to see a single tear rolling down her left eye. Pepper quickly wiped her face as I felt this warmth entering my heart. Stunned to my core I asked her very quietly.

"What's wrong?"

Backing up another foot to head more towards the stairs she replied.

"It's just…it's just something….something I can feel. The way he…...I understand what he's going through Zeta."

She had me concerned for her health. She's never emotional like this. At least it's something I've never seen. Not for a long time. Still stunned I said to her directly.

"You're not the only one. I miss them too. I walked through that house. I know what he's thinking too."

Nodding once Pepper then replied while taking a step down backwards.

"Then you know what he needs. Come on. Let's leave him alone. It's getting late."

I took a chance to look back at the room. I knew I couldn't do anything and that she was right. He needed the time to cope.

Pulling my mask back down over my face, I lifted back up my M4 and proceeded to listen to her. We headed back down together. Side by side we knew we just had to let this happen. How he turns out after is a completely different thing.

Marcus's POV.

Raptor was at a point where he needed to think. I stood there as the two wolves left his side to just watch him. At a point he looked over to me to question.

"How long did it take you to get over your loss?" Widening my eyes, I replied somewhat confused by the question.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Your loss? You said you got your powers after losing everything. You had to have lost someone important to you. You don't have to tell me the story Marcus, but how did you cope?"

"Ahhhh…..?" I was unable to come up with the words while thinking back to her. Maybe a minute or two passed with me walking around the room before I finally replied.

"To be honest…...I think I just did my best to look forward and ignore it. I knew I had the power to get what I wanted at that point in time and I think knowing that drove me forward. After it was done and everything was over? I think I remember wandering for a few years; trying to find a new purpose."

"Why not let go and rest?" He then asked as I calmly replied while facing him directly.

"Cause I knew I had a chance to do things different. I might not be real to everyone, but I still could change the world. By making things happen. Now don't think otherwise Raptor, I'm a very bad person. Doing the right things and the good things to make people live happier and better; just wasn't in my blood or my thoughts till meeting you and that dog. I killed a lot of people just cause I wanted and as fucked up as it sounds I loved hurting people. I loved seeing the reactions others had towards the same losses I had in my life. See how they cope. Like Shadow."

Raptor was just staring at me as I admitted.

"When his brother Dark shot his kid? I loved every second of it. Loved how he broke. When Amy died? When he killed Ghost? I got to enjoy it all first hand and as you know I fucked with him every step of the way where I could. In the very end, he thought he was crazy. That I didn't exist and the whole time it was just his mind playing tricks. He killed himself not because of what I did. He killed himself because when it was all said and done; he thought truly that he caused everything to play out the way it did. He couldn't cope with thinking such things. I mean who can blame him? He did a lot of bad."

Keeping his head on straight through this conversation, I kept my focus as he then questioned.

"I got to talk to him one night about you. That night he asked me to kill him on that fucking roof. He told me everything he did and why he believed he had to do it. I know the truth now, but let me ask you something. Shadow told me you put him to work. Him and Ghost. With these tests? Does that ring any bells?"

I couldn't help but crack a small smile and reply.

"Yeah it does. Those tests are bullshit. I played both of them. Played them till they were in graves deep enough to bury themselves and the ones they loved in."

Raptor was just listening as I told him this. I sensed no anger from him. He was just listening. Hearing and learning the truth how bad of a person I really was. Keeping it up I finished what I was saying.

"It was all a game to me. I told Shadow I'd let him be with his wife and kids in death if he played along. Which he did. He never had to do those tests. He didn't have to kill anyone. I would have been more impressed if he was more like you."

"How so?" Raptor then asked as I replied while looking out his window.

"You have balls. You question me and you disobey. You don't just listen like a good boy should. You give me a battle to get what I want and so far it's been turning out better than anyone before. Shadow just sucked my dick and did whatever I told him to do. It was boring."

Raptor surprised me by chuckling for a moment. I looked back to him to listen as he asked.

"So did you give him what he wanted?"

Our eyes locked and we just stared at one another. Raptor lost his smile as I breathed. I sensed his mind changing about the situation as he realized for himself the answer to that very question. But he had to ask me again.

"DId you let him live with Amy and his kids in death?"

With a sense of absolute chills in the air, I replied directly to the hedgehog before me.

"No. I didn't."

Raptor's whole face changed at that very moment before me. I nodded my head and looked back out the window as he couldn't help but keep on staring at me. I couldn't tell if it was anger he was feeling for my answer or if he was trying to comprehend why it happened the way it did. I planned to not say anything more but I couldn't help myself. I had to clear this up. Even though it would make me look more evil then I truly was. Looking back at the man I stated.

"Up till you I never gave anyone what they wanted. No matter who they were or what they did for me. It was fun screwing people like him over. It was a joy watching his world burn and watching what happened to me happen to him. I got nothing when I died. Nothing!"

My voice went up on its own as I caught myself off guard with the sudden anger I showed him. I caught my tongue as Raptor was stunned a little by it as well. Doing my best to calm I finished by saying with a tad bit less rage applied.

"Fuck him. I got nothing, so why should anyone else?"

Raptor stood up slowly as I shut my eyes to question my next move. I was getting worked up now and I think he knew it. So I just had to listen as he asked.

"Are you okay?"

"Just…...drop this subject. No I didn't give Shadow peace in death. In fact I'm not too sure what happened to him after he died. And right now Raptor I don't want to think about it. So do me a favor and just…...just stop."

Raptor remained by the bed as I reopened my eyes to look back outside. I had no place left here for conversation. So after a moment I urged him.

"I'm not a good person. I've done a lot of bad shit. Shadow is just a start to one of those things. I can't fix that now. So just leave it be. It's over and he's dead. So…...yeah. Just let me be."

"I'm not trying to piss you off." He replied as I nodded and turned around to face him. Our eyes locked as I took a step closer to match his height. Once in his face I replied back whisper tight.

"You're not. It's just not something I enjoy thinking about. I don't enjoy getting emotional. Not over the things I've done in the past. You want to talk about Shadow? I'll go find him wherever he is and let you do the honors."

I watched as he began to laugh. I was confused as he laughed at me.

"You can't do that."

"I can." I replied back being dead serious. Raptor stopped his laughing and just widened his eyes as I nodded.

"I can. You want to know what was happening and what he was feeling during that time? You can ask him yourself. I'm sure he's just wandering around, looking for anyone. Hoping it's just another test he has yet to pass. So go on and laugh again Raptor. Do it." I ordered him as his expression went cold. I knew from there I had him hooked on the idea. He didn't even have to say anything. I took a foot back slowly as I decided to apply what I just threatened him with. His eyes lost their anger as I urged him.

"Take your time and relax. I'll go find him for ya." Almost immediately he replied.

"Don't you dare. That's the last thing I need right now. Seeing him."

"It might clear the air between you two." I told him as he quickly replied.

"There isn't air to clear. We ended on a good note. I want to keep it that way."

"You gonna fight him?" I then questioned him as he shouted.

"For doing what he did and leaving me like this!? Yes!"

His voice was louder then mine now and we both knew attention would be drawn. Keeping our eyes locked on one another I took a moment to think it over. Raptor was dead set on staring me down the whole time and once I was a foot or two back I said to him.

"We'll talk another time."

"Don't fucking test me Marcus." He urged me as I questioned how to take that response. Giving him a show of my hands I replied.

"I'll do whatever I want. So fuck you."

With that I phased myself out.

Zeta's POV.

I was creeping up the stairs slowly with my sister. Raptor could be heard screaming from on the first floor. All I caught before he went quiet was something along the lines of him yelling that someone left him. I had no idea what was going on in that room but it was loud enough for both Pepper and I to question just who he was talking too. I had a theory as to who but I was almost convinced it couldn't be true. So one at the top of the stairs I asked carefully with a loud enough tone to pierce through the door.

"Raptor? Are you okay?"

He remained quiet now leaving both Pepper and I to wonder what happened. Grabbing me by the hand Pepper pulled back and whispered.

"Let's go back down. Come on."

I was stuck in place for a second but slowly followed her backwards and down onto the first floor again. I was worried for him. He was going insane by himself and I had no idea where to start with helping him cope. How do you help someone who is a god like him? Dragging me back into the living room, Pepper released my hand at that point and whispered.

"He's venting."

Shaking my head I replied.

"I don't think so."

She looked confused by my answer and as I lowered my rifle I listened as she reverted to asking.

"You want to sleep? I'll take watch?"

"Cody and Blitz have the watch for the night. Don't strain yourself. Sleep with me."

We both still had our masks on and after a small huff and a puff she replied while putting down her rifle.

"Okay fine. I guess you're right."

Giving her a very small smile back, I laid back on the couch while stretching my legs out. Pepper chuckled as I curled up and decided it was best for her to switch to the recliner. The second she laid back I heard her let out this sigh of relief and not a moment later did she whisper.

"Oh this isn't good for my health."

"Shut up." I replied as we both laughed and soon fell back into our own dreamworlds.

mT Shadow.