When Jack woke next he was still laying on the Doctor's chest with the Doctor's long coat pulled over his body like a blanket. The Doctor had his arms wrapped around him holding him close as he ran a hand slowly along Jack's spine. It was comfortable and Jack was tempted to close his eyes again. Only he knew that he should move. They were supposed to be working on their friendship while rebuilding trust between the two of them not falling into old habits between the sheets. It would be hard as he had always used sex in order to relax, take out anger, relieve frustration, show his love, or just because he felt like a quick romp. He could always go to a bar and pick someone up for a quick lay but he couldn't do that to the Doctor until he knew for sure where their relationship was heading and that it was truly over. Until then, he would do his best not to hurt the man who was holding him so tightly. He sighed knowing he should head to the couch but not ready to move.
"Doc," Jack started.
"Please, don't say it," the Doctor interrupted his voice barely above a whisper. Jack nodded his understanding as he continued to allow the Doctor to hold him. It had been a long time since anyone had held and comforted him this way and he had to admit it felt nice to be on the receiving end for a change. Even if it couldn't last. Glancing at the clock he noticed that it was still early. There was no point getting up and just for the night, they could continue the illusion they had created. Leaning up he pressed his lips back to the Doctor's kissing him softly as he nudged his legs apart. The Doctor opened them willingly allowing Jack to fall between them again as Jack thrust softly against him. The Doctor thrust back against him just as slowly allowing Jack to take charge like normal. Jack hardened between them and reached for the lube they always kept on hand. He applied it to himself before checking to make sure the Doctor's body was ready. The Doctor was still slick from their earlier lovemaking with both Jack's release and lube. Not breaking the kiss, Jack positioned himself. He lifted the Doctor's hips enough to allow him entry into the Time Lord's body before pressing in slowly.
"Jack," the Doctor whimpered into his mouth.
"I've got you," Jack reassured him. Once again there was no hurry in their movements as their bodies slowly moved as one. The Doctor bit back the tears that threatened to fall as Jack made him remember and feel everything that he loved about the man that he had now lost. Come morning they would go back to trying to be friends again as there was too much pain in the relationship he desperately wanted. He wasn't sure how he managed not to start crying as Jack moved slowly inside of his body never hitting his prostate for long as he concentrated on drawing it out as long as possible. By the time the Doctor fell over the edge from the rubbing of their bodies against his member he was sore and knew that he would feel the fact Jack had been inside of him for the next couple of days. His body clenched around Jack finally pushing him over the edge as well and his release filled the Doctor for a second time. He pulled out slowly causing the Doctor to wince due to being oversensitized. Their eyes both closed this time as they drifted off to sleep together but even before the Doctor opened his eyes in the morning he knew that he was once more alone.
He opened his eyes into the empty room. The sun was up but the curtains blocked most of the harsh light allowing him to see without the brightness blinding him. He had been covered with a blanket and his coat laid on the chair. His clothing had been picked up and he saw no trace that Jack had ever been in the room last night. In fact, he could have believed that it was just a dream that Jack came to him if it wasn't for the fact that he could still feel the sticky soreness of his arse from their lovemaking the night before. He felt empty and thought briefly about rolling over in order to reclaim the darkness of sleep. His own sense of time told him that wouldn't be possible as they had to leave for Torchwood soon and Jack still didn't trust him enough to leave him at home alone. Sighing he got carefully out of bed and taking his clothes with him headed to the shower. He took a long hot shower allowing it to soothe his aching body but it did nothing to calm to his mind.
"Are you okay in there, Doc?" Jack called through the door. He wasn't sure how long he had been standing under the water at that point and a part of him didn't care.
"Yeah," the Doctor sighed before calling out louder. "I'll be out in a minute." He finished washing off the soap then stepped out of the water. Drying, he shaved before dressing in his suit. Staring in the mirror, he could see hallow brown eyes staring back out of him. The pain in his eyes was clear but he made his face as blank as possible as he opened the medicine cabinet. From the top shelf, marked with the red tape, he took a couple of pain pills to help with the ache in his body. He replaced the bottle and didn't think about what he was doing as he reached to a bottle on a lower shelf. He opened the bottle and deposited a half dozen of them in his hand. Returning the bottle to its the rightful place he didn't bother to look at the pills as he put them in his pocket.
"Hurry up or your tea is going to get cold," Jack yelled up to him.
"Coming," he called back. Looking at himself one last time in the mirror, he made sure he had all the shaving cream off of his face before stopping off to retrieve his coat then heading down the stairs. Together they ate their breakfast in silence and the Doctor drank his tea. The routine continued like normal only as he walked by Jack's office on the way to the front door he noticed that Jack's clothing was sitting in an open box on his desk. He didn't say anything about the box on the way to Torchwood. He also chose to ignore Martha who was waiting for them by the edge of the stairs to Jack's office. He pushed past her heading to the safety of his TARDIS but thanks to his Time Lord hearing still heard Jack stop to talk to her.
"How was Emily last night?" Jack inquired.
"She was a little confused but overall very well behaved," Martha answered. "Did you two manage to talk?"
"We did and we both decided to try being friends," Jack informed her. The Doctor didn't continue to listen as he went straight through Jack's office onto his TARDIS. He didn't stop walking until he came to one of the many gardens hidden among her corridors. This one had the red grass of his home and the silver trees that he loved so dearly in his childhood. Closing himself in the room, he could almost pretend that he was back on the planet that he had once called home. He reached into his pocket pulling out the small handful of pills the spread his coat out on the red grass. Laying back upon it he stared up at the simulation of the red suns as they made their way higher into the sky.
He had lost everyone he loved that fateful day that he decided to save the universe. He thought parts of him were gone forever after that but he had learned to love again with Rose and then Jack. Rose was gone forever in another universe and now he had lost Jack as well. He had also lost Emily the day he decided to run rather than actually raise her. He would always be her daddy but now she had a papa as well who he knew loved her more than anything else in the universe. She would be sad for a while but she would be all right in the end. He apologized silently that he never said goodbye as he brought the first pill to his mouth.