Arcee POV
When you entered the room, I felt my optics travel up your formidable frame until my gaze rested upon your face. Those piercing blue optics shone down upon me with such kindness and compassion, it was hard to believe this was the same mech who just moments ago rained punishing blows down upon Megatron allowing us to escape with our lives.
As you stood before me, a red and blue tower of immense strength and courage, I felt my processor rapidly sift through memories of you. Though each memory was as fleeting as the blink of an optic, they were indelibly engraved into my spark. I recalled watching you engage in numerous battles with Megatron and his minions, the way you fiercely engaged with your opponents, often taking on several at once. Your massive frame moving more swiftly and deftly than one would believe possible. Your powerful servos and arms, delivering blow upon blow, rending apart metal and expertly aiming your cannon. Your keen optics locking onto your opponent as you decisively took them down. A fierce and determined warrior without equal.
I recalled those same servos reaching out to gently help raise me to my pedes in the desolate, frozen wasteland of the Arctic. The way they tenderly and carefully grasped my own diminutive servos, holding them protectively as we both prepared to face our demise. In that moment as I weakly gazed upon our entwined servos, something was awoken inside of me. Something I was too scared to dwell on. Feelings I knew could never be voiced.
I recalled that time you contracted the Cybonic Plague exploring that crashed Autobot ship. You were so sick, your life in the balance, yet you were more concerned about our welfare than your own, our safety than yours. Always putting others before yourself. I was terrified we would lose you. But you survived. You always seem to defy death, no matter how tightly it seems to grasp you in its talons. You seem to be indestructible.
Your baritone voice rumbling its confusion over the Decepticon insignia on your left shoulder, momentarily snaps me out of my silent reveries and I feel a slight shudder run over my frame. I recalled that moment you glanced from Megatron towards us, your family, and did not recognise us – recognise me. I nearly drove myself insane in my desperation to find my way to you, to bring you back to us. Rachet had never spoken truer words when he had said it had been our darkest hour without you. My spark throbbed painfully for a moment as utter confusion, anger and loss once again course through me and it is all I can do to stifle a moan of sorrow.
You must sense my turmoil as I feel a pair of concerned and kind optics focus upon me as you enter the room and come to stand before us. Once again, my optics travel up your imposing figure, noticing the many dents, scratches and gouges that adorn your chassis. At last my optics come to rest upon your handsome face and I feel that faint fluttering in my spark as you allow a small smile to spread across your face.
I feel my servo start to reach towards you involuntarily, as if trying to ascertain it is indeed you standing before me. I so very much want to feel that it is you, to regain that warmth of connection we once shared in a frozen land, in a moment frozen in time. Yet, I willingly force my servo to still, placing it on my hip instead. You are not mine to touch. Never will be.
For a moment, a fleeting shadow flickers across your noble visage, barely perceptible before that familiar smile returns and your optics shine with joy at being reunited with those you care deeply for – those you have come to love. You nod your helm towards me, and I return the gesture, closing my optics for a moment to hide the deep sense of regret and longing that burns through me.
When you entered the room just now, alive and well and one of us again, it was all I ever wanted and yet - it will never be enough. When you entered the room, I was reminded that all I ever wanted or needed, was someone I could never have.