A/N: So sorry for the delay! I accidentally deleted this chapter after finishing it and was unable to retrieve it. That with everything going on in the world and me returning to work just made a perfect storm for no updates. Apologies!

Alex nodded, "That's pretty big of you." Jo smiled in acknowledgement as he continued, "But I did get to get close with my kids and even if it hurts you to hear, I can't say I would trade that time with them for anything. I'd do it all over again for them."

Jo nodded sadly as she looked at her buzzing phone, "I would too for mine." She glanced back up for them to share a look of mutual understanding before Jo held her phone in the air, "Mattie's asking for me. Go ahead and drink your beer, I'll see you in the morning."

Alex motioned for his assigned intern and quickly walked towards Mattie's room. Today he felt lighter, more at ease, feeling as if his talks with Jo were slowly melting the ice. It felt good to clear the air with her and get some things out in the open even if he kept tripping up and not finding quite the right words for what he truly wanted to convey to her. Each time he spoke to Jo, he spent too much time afterwards dissecting every single thing that was said and wishing he could have a do-over on the things that came out wrong. He rubbed his hands together as Taylor caught up to him, "You ready for a big day?"

"I think so," the blonde beamed, "I've been studying all the scans and I feel I'm ready."

Alex grinned at her as he reached Mattie's room, "Good, I am too." He walked in still smiling before looking around in confusion. Jo and Hayes were nowhere to be found. The oldest son was staring at his cell phone in the corner while the other two boys sat together in the sleeper chair seemingly watching youtube videos. An older woman sat on the other side of the room reciting a poem with a thick Irish accent to Mattie as the young girl stared at her completely captivated. "Good Morning," Alex started, still wary that Jo was missing, "I haven't met you before, you are?"

The older woman looked up in surprise, "Me?"

The oldest looked up from his phone and gave an annoyed look, "That's Nana."

Alex smiled as politely as he could while turning back to their grandmother, "Great, I'm glad you are here. Where are Mattie's parents?"

"Umm, what did they call it? A stand-by room?"

"On-Call room, Nana," the oldest corrected as he put his earbud back in, clearly done with the conversation, "They should be back any time now."

The older woman smiled at Alex, "I told them to get some sleep while I was here to keep an eye on things since Mattie was resting. They must be getting a good nap in. Much deserved."

Alex nodded before starting a quick exam. Mattie looking up at him sadly, "They're probably fighting. They always go somewhere else to fight."

Alex froze, unsure of how to respond when the middle boy spoke up, "They're not fighting about you, Matt. Stop worrying about them, they always fight. You know that."

Alex blinked a couple of time, digesting that piece of information especially after they seemed so happy last night. "He's right you know," Alex affirmed as he restarted his exam. "All parents argue from time to time, but it's never your fault." Mattie gave him a small smile and he returned it with a small wink. After he finished examining her, he turned to the intern to take the tablet and started punching in notes, "Well everything looks great." He then handed the tablet back and looked down at Mattie, "Looks like we are a go for today, kid." Alex then joined in a special handshake they had developed yesterday while Jo was in surgery, causing the little girl to smile for the first time since he had entered the room, "I'll find them and bring them up to speed and then we'll head down in a half hour or so."

He and the intern stepped out of the room, Taylor jumping slightly ahead of him, "Do you want me to find the Chief?"

Alex stopped in his tracks and looked at her questioningly, "Why would we need Bailey?"

Her cheeks flushed red, "I'm sorry, I meant the Peds Chief. Just trying to be helpful."

Alex frowned, suddenly not in the mood for her chirpiness, "I'll find them. Go check on the other patients and make sure there's nothing they need before we go down."

The blonde nodded eagerly before scurrying off back towards the nurses' station. Alex sighed and decided Jo would have never gone far and was probably in the on-call room at the end of the hall. He walked to the room and tapped quietly giving anyone inside a chance to call out before entering. What he upon entering saw stopped him in his tracks. Hayes was lying on his back shirtless with Jo's head resting on top of his chest, their legs intertwined. Alex stared for a moment in a trance as Jo's hand ran along Hayes' ribs causing the man to moan slightly. With this, Jo seemed to start to stir making a noise he remembered from their years together that meant she was relaxed and content.

He felt his chest tighten as his breathing became more rapid, confused that he seemed to be having such a physical reaction to seeing them together so intimately. Alex started to back out of the room when Hayes turned more towards Jo, his arm immediately going around her waist as Jo hummed, "Mac."

The sound of another man's name on her lips was the final straw, Alex retreating out of the room and closing the door as quietly as possible. He stood against the wall and leaned his head back, confused by how he was feeling. Why would he feel so jealous? He certainly had no right. He had been honest last night when he told Jo he did not regret leaving Seattle for his kids, but he did regret leaving her. She was undoubtedly the love of his life. And he loved her too much to have drug her into his new drama with Izzie and the kids. He had never wanted her to give up so much for him and moving to Kansas would have been a huge sacrifice. One he wasn't willing to allow her to make. So he had wanted her to move on and be happy.

So why was he having such a hard time accepting it?

Alex sighed and considered the dilemma at hand. He needed to talk to them before taking Mattie down for surgery, but knocking now would be embarrassing. He was sure they hadn't seen him but what if they had? And he certainly didn't want a second dose of what he had just seen. Asking the intern to go in would also not be ideal. How would he explain where he had been and why he had been unable to locate them? Alex pulled out his phone and paged both of them, deciding to walk halfway up the hall so he could intercept them before the intern could see.

As he started back up the hall, he heard banging sounds from the room, most likely in response to his page. He also heard voices that were louder than regular talking, but not loud enough for him to make out. It almost sounded like they were arguing. Alex had started back down to see if he could interpret what was being said when they both rushed out of the room surprised to see him. Jo was trying to put her hair up in a ponytail as Hayes put on his shirt, "Karev, you paged?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah, just wanted let you know everything is a go for today."

"Any last minute changes?"

Alex looked at Jo with concern, the worry in her voice and eyes affecting him greatly as always, "No. We're proceeding as planned. Everything looks fine so we'll take her down shortly." They walked ahead of him and scurried into the room, Hayes' hand in the small of Jo's back, both immediately beaming at the kids. Alex shook his head, deciding maybe he had misinterpreted the commotion before, but the young boy's voice still rang in his ears: they always fight, you know that.

Alex shook his head trying to get focused for the surgery, and made his way down the hall so he could prepare. His mind raced as he tried to imagine how Jo must be feeling. He could not even begin to guess how he would be handling everything if it was Eli or Alexis about to have such a major surgery, thinking back to how badly he worried when they had their tonsils removed not too long after he had arrived in Kansas. He was damn near inconsolable despite it being such a minor procedure.

He put on his scrub cap and looked at himself in the mirror. He had changed so much since he last walked these halls. The creases around his eyes were more pronounced, and worry lines now etched his face. His hair had some grey that seemed to be multiplying daily. Alex leaned on the sink and bowed up his back to stretch, again trying to clear his mind in preparation for one of the most important surgeries of his career. All week he had tried not to think about the outcome if he was unsuccessful, but now the worry was making him nauseous.

Washing his hands he once again looked at his face in the mirror and took a deep breath to steady his nerves. He then walked quickly out and back up to Mattie's room, noting the oncology team and his intern at the desk. Alex motioned to them all while never breaking stride, finally feeling his confidence return. But upon entering the room, his guts dropped again. Jo was sitting on the bedside doing a hand routine with Mattie that was common with young girls, their hands going faster and faster as their rhyming chant sped up. Their hands ended up in a slapping mess and Jo reached up to hold Mattie's head as they both laughed with matching dried tears streaking their face. Hayes was pacing the floor holding Ian, seemingly trying to calm him as well. Alex cleared his throat, "Everything okay?"

Everyone in the room looked at him with anxiety as Hayes answered, "About as okay as it is going to be until Matt gets out of surgery. We're all just a little on edge."

Alex nodded with understanding, "Well, let's get it started then." He looked at Mattie, "The sooner we get you down there the sooner you'll be back up here with your family."

He felt Jo's eyes on him as he again did the handshake with Mattie they had developed yesterday. She beamed up at him as they were done, "Let's do it."

The adults in the room laughed as Alex and the intern worked to disconnect everything in preparation of moving Mattie. Her grandmother and a few others who hadn't been in the room earlier came over to say their goodbyes and well wishes as Alex carefully put the disposable surgical cap on his patient, "It's time everyone."

Ian motioned to Jo that he wanted to be held again and she picked him up, the young boy immediately laying his head on her shoulder. Hayes stood next to Mattie and held her hand as the breaks were dislodged and the bed started to move. He continued to have one hand on the rail and the other in Mattie's hand the whole way down as Jo walked on the other side when the hallway was wide enough, at times falling back to where the two older boys walked behind solemnly. When she was behind him, Alex could hear her quietly saying things to the boys making them laugh occasionally. Alex slowed the bed to a stop outside the surgical theater, "Sorry folks, this is as far as you can go."

Jo stepped forward again, this time with Austin's hand in hers as Liam stepped to the other side beside his father. Hayes reached up to rub his head before bending down, "We love you, sweetheart. Everything is going to be just fine." Alex noticed the oldest son rubbing his father's back comfortingly, "You fight hard in there."

"Daddy, I'll be asleep," the young girl pointed out causing all of them to laugh.

Jo bent down to let Ian hug her and then placed a kiss on her cheek, "Then you slay dragons in your sleep, baby. And we'll see you soon."

"With ice cream?"

Hayes and Jo laughed at her excited tone as Liam leaned down to kiss her cheek, "Any flavor you want."

"And popcicles," Austin added as he bumped fists with her, his eyes beginning to water. Jo immediately noticed and reached up to rub his shoulders and then run her fingers through his hair comfortingly as Ian began sucking his thumb, his head still on Jo's shoulder.

Alex waited a beat, making sure no one had anything else to say, "Okay, let's go." He took two steps then allowed the rest of the team to maneuver the bed through the double doors. He turned back to the family, unable to meet any of their eyes, "We'll send out updates every hour."

He sensed Hayes nod and started to turn back towards the OR when he heard Jo, "Kick ass, Alex. Please."

Alex stopped and gave a small half grin before turning and entering the restricted area.