Love Struck Delusion

Chapter 242 - Say goodbye.

Cody's POV.

This was about as cold as I could imagine this getting. I was watching what my boss Jessup would call "tying up loose ends". I had no feelings towards it to be honest. My job was to support him. To trust him. Raptor knew what he was doing and even though it sucked and was fucked up, it was the only way to make sure the future remained safe for himself. These G.U.N turncoats he had on his payroll were saps to not question the outcome. What did they expect? This is the middle east. This option was always on the table and to make sure matters stay hush hush; this was the only way to ensure it happened right.

I had myself just sitting on the hood to our truck with Peek a few inches behind me watching with his body leaning along the grill. We kept our mouths shut. This wasn't our business to question. It sucked like I said, but it's the way the world worked.

Peek's POV.

Cody knew about as well as I did. This wasn't our place to get involved. I had no issues watching this kind of thing. I used to work for a G.U.N wetwork team. Shit like this happened all the time. It was the easiest solution on how to make sure nothing bad came after the operation was complete. You just snuff out the witnesses. The people who know too much. However my concern was with the man we were being paid to protect. I'm afraid I jumped the gun in giving him that juice back then. I had no clue what it was doing to his body, but he was clearly aggressive. The red eyes gave it away yet no one was in a place to stop and ask him how he was really feeling. Jessup would kill me if he knew I gave someone that experimental shot. That shit was meant for me because of my new adaptation to the venom. At least I didn't have to question the man's metal. He was a survivor and damn sure could take a lot of torture. That stuff ate me alive when I took it and I'm trained. I'd hate to be him. He's probably crying inside while he closes out business.

Letting out a sigh as the guy he just shot fell back like a stiff board into the pitfall of a canyon, I listened along with everyone as the body could be heard snapping and breaking all the way down to the very bottom. Part of me wanted to look and see just how deep it was, but I think I'll pass.

Pepper's POV.

Zeta and I were holding near the back of the other truck. She was planted along the driver side door while I was maybe two feet behind her watching as Raptor showed me just how far he was willing to go to make sure loose ends got buried. To be honest, by this point of my life I was growing used to this kind of death. I'm just happy for once it wasn't me on the end of that gun.

"Hey?" I whispered as I gently reached out to grab Zeta by the very base of her tail.

She looked back at me as Raptor lowered his gun. He just stood there and looked down into the pit as Linnen was just enjoying his smoke.

Keeping my tone whisper tight I asked her.

"You okay with this?"

Nodding she replied.

"It's not our business. We're here to have his back."

I still held her tail as I asked in concern we weren't on the same page.

"Even with shit like this?"

Zeta held strong and replied.

"Even with shit like this. You got a problem with what he's doing? You don't understand why they're doing it?"

Shaking my head and letting her go, I told her directly.

"No I do. I was just making sure you were okay. I know how you feel about him. Shit like this can change people. I don't want this getting between you guys."

Zeta looked back to the show to reply.

"It's not going to get between us at all. I'm more concerned with his health right now over anything."

She was right. Raptor was acting differently. I wanted to know just what that was because it wasn't like him to be so angry all the sudden. Even being the way he normally is, I knew by his eyes it was the venom that bird gave him. When this is all said and done I'm gonna have to sit down and have a talk with him and hopefully Zeta could get Raptor to stand still. Regardless of how he feels; that venom was different Peek said. Experimental. I want to know how.

Zeta on the other hand went on to say.

"It sucks but shit like this needs to happen. It won't be the last time it happens either, I'd be willing to bet. We just need to control him after we're all done here. Something about him smells off."

"You smell it too?" I wondered as I thought it was just me.

She nodded and together we just shut our mouths and refocused as Raptor turned to look at Black.

Raptor's POV.

Black was intent on never taking his eyes off me again. I was surprised he said nothing after I just killed his friend in cold blood, but I had more than enough to believe I understood why. I was in his place many times before. Only difference is he won't go on to suffer with the memories.

As things were silent and Drake let out a long cloud of smoke; he lowered the cigar and asked me.

"I sense some personal matters need to be settled Voltz. You want to clear the air to Black here about something before he checks out?"

Putting my gun away I replied.

"Yeah. Do you mind?"

Giving me a small chuckle he replied.

"Not at all. Be my guest. I have something I need to tell him to before we decide who gets the honors."

Nodding my head, I took my time to slowly approach Black. The whole time he just had this look of pure anger on his face. Upon taking a knee in front of him did I ask.

"Nothing you want to say? You earned some last words Major."

For a few moments he just kept staring at me, but then he asked.

"What are you going to tell Hunter? You gonna be honest and tell her you had me and my men put down like some sick dogs? Tell her you had us thrown away and buried along with any more evidence that could stack up against you and that face you put on for the people who support you?"

Keeping my tone sincere I replied.

"She's been through enough to get here. She doesn't need to know. It's not her place and trust me Black, but not knowing will do more good than bed for a woman in her position."

"She loves you. You know that?" He asked me as I widened my eyes slightly.

"She loves you more than anything else in this fucked up world we find ourselves living in. She wanted to hate you when you left, but I stood by you and told her you had a plan for it all. A plan for us. A plan for her. I told her to trust you and god damn it if it wasn't the biggest mistake of my life."

I could sense the truth behind his words. I knew this whole time how Hunter felt about me. How she felt about this. Yet now all I could think about was how wrong I might have been for my past.

My eyes left Black's for a moment to look at Zeta. The wolf was standing up straight now and staring right at me. It was almost too perfect of a setup for Black to wonder.

"Do you even love her back? Can you find that feeling anymore Raptor? Can you?"

My eyes were still locked on Zeta, but in time I dragged them back down to Black to reply in an unsure tone.

"I don't know Black. A man like me? A person like me? No…..love isn't something I can feel anymore. Not willingly."

"She's gonna find out what happened. She's gonna learn the truth." Black told me as I nodded and replied.

"Yeah…...she will. One way or the other."

"Are you gonna kill her too?" He then asked as I took a moment to wonder the answer that question held. Black soon just nodded to himself and urged me.

"Just do me a favor. When the moment comes just make sure you don't lie to her. She doesn't deserve it. She's a sweet girl. Just lost in all this. Okay?"

I couldn't respond. Black was shedding a tear as his time was nearing. As it rolled down his face I asked him.

"Do you remember what you said to me back when you shot Ruby?"

In confusion the hedgehog stared at me. Unsure of what that was. Standing back up I said with a sad tone.

"War can break even the strongest friendships."

WIth wide eyes Black stared at me in a stunned awe of reality coming full circle. Turning my back to him, I said as my last sentence to his ears.

"I wanted things to work out. I really did. I wanted to help you go home. I wanted to keep you away from this. I tried my best Black. So did you I'm sure of it. I never wanted to kill you. Believe me I didn't. I had the same level of faith and trust in you as I did your sister. In fact at a point I considered you family. I'm sorry this had to happen. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise to you, but…...just promise me when you get to where you're going; you'll stop and think about what I'm doing. What I'm trying to accomplish. Then I want you to see Amy. I want you to see her and tell her I'm sorry I couldn't save her husband. Tell her I love her and I love him and….and….I know I have no right to say it doing this now, but I love you too."

Black had his eyes glued to my back. In shock he replied almost at a loss for words.

"Raptor?"

Nothing came after. Just my name and that was enough. It was all I could handle listening to. Looking over to Drake I urged him.

"Get it over with."

The wolf finished the cigar during the time it took me to say all I needed to say. His emotions towards what was just said was to be expected. He had not much care for it. His only concern was ending what needed to be ended. I could not blame him. For we are the same.

Approaching me, Drake put a hand on my shoulder and asked me.

"You want to step aside?"

His question felt like a suggestion and that I ignored. I wanted to watch this to its end. No matter how much it pained me. So I just kept my mouth shut and proceeded to walk to the very edge of the pit to look down. It was so dark down there I could barely see the bottom. But I could make out Tap and Leo. All broken and splattered. However what made my mind lose its grip on reality was that I could see dogs down there eating what remained. Fighting over arms and legs and for a moment I asked myself if that could have been me years prior. Then I felt my legs jolt forward. It was for a split second but it got my eyes to open wide. I wanted to just jump and I didn't understand why. Was this it? Was this what Shadow really felt the day he took his life? Is this what wanting to end it all really felt like? Were all those feelings I felt before all this shit just fake? Was this the real deal now? I wasn't able to focus on anything else. I just kept looking down.

Zeta's POV.

Raptor was breaking my heart with his words. I had no idea just what he was thinking. No idea what he was really feeling inside, but I knew he was hurting. Pepper knew it too. Like me she was equal. We felt every emotion and we kept our mouths shut and our eyes locked as Raptor turned to urge Linnen in a fed up voice.

"Get it over with."

Drake came over to put his hand on his shoulder and asked him.

"You want to step aside?"

Raptor however didn't answer. Pepper took a hold over my tail again as he just walked towards the very edge of the cliff. All those feelings of sadness we were feeling were snuffed out the second we saw the look in his eyes change. His body lost it's normal stance and out came this jitter in his legs. At first I was confused, but then his body took a jump forward about an inch. It was so quick you almost didn't see it. You'd have to be watching him to notice at all. But Pepper and I were both watching and when it happened I felt my body move on it's own. Yet my sister held me in place as Raptor stopped moving.

From that moment on almost every thought I had was a question. A question asking myself what that small leap meant that he almost took. He had no reason to do that unless he was trying to fight his own body for control. It wanted to jump. He wanted to kill himself and right there it almost happened and Pepper prevented me from saving him if he really tried.

From the angle I had Raptor's eyes were still red. Was the venom he took making him question his life? It had to be. In fact I knew it had to be. There just wasn't a way in hell he really wanted to do that on his own accord. I refused to believe it.

With my eyes unable to leave Raptor, I listened as Linnen said to Black.

"You were one of the best. I never got to tell you that."

Black had his eyes still looking to Raptor as Linnen admitted.

"I'm sorry I lied to you about Amy. I am but it was needed to keep you away from this kind of ugly. You were meant to serve your country Black. Not betray it."

Black's voice was cut but he still managed to question.

"Is it considered betrayal if you two are now on the same side?"

Linnen gave the question some thought. In fact he didn't answer that. Instead he just asked him.

"Are you ready?"

Black shut his eyes and looked down at the sand. Drake gave him a few moments to breathe and after he was done Black reopened his eyes to reply.

"Yeah."

Raptor's POV.

The order came next. All I heard behind me was the sound of sand being moved. Feet approaching and soon I felt someone standing next to me. My eyes didn't have to look to know it was Black. Drake lined him up right next to me and with a small gust of wind rolling over our bodies, I looked back up to lock eyes with the man. The man I committed to this fate.

Looking into my eyes as Drake raised his gun, Black begged me with tears rolling off his chin

"Just…...just promise me you'll keep her safe."

I heard Drake cock the hammer back to his magnum and I couldn't muster what I knew he wanted to hear. I was stuck trying to find other words, but that all came to an end when it happened.

"BANG!"

My ears went down as blood splashed my face. I saw the light leave his eyes and without much to hold him there much longer, I watched as Black slowly fell back and off the cliff. I made myself watch the whole thing. His body…...his…..?

Drake came to my side and took a look down for himself. At which point he put his gun away in its holster and said to me.

"Guess that's that then."

I took a moment to just keep looking. The dogs got to work and the second one of them began to bite into his arm; I pulled my eyes back and up to Drake. The wolf gave me what he had left by stating.

"Now that this is over with we can get back to business. I should have word coming down from Hecan tomorrow about the status of my reinforcements and at which point we can all get together to both go public and come up with a solution to Afghanistan.

I nodded and my eyes went still as the man suddenly began to sniff me. For a second I questioned why, but soon he whispered to me in concern for my health.

"You're not holding up well. I don't know what happened, but I know that smell better than anyone. I'm shocked you haven't gone feral with all that juice in your aura. Here."

Drake sensed I was concerned but kept straight with me to urge as he handed over Black's dog tag.

"Take my advice. Let one of your friends drive you back home. During that time you need to let some of that bad blood out. Otherwise the longer it's allowed to stay in your body, the closer and harder it will be to resist the urges to go feral. Take a knife. Cut something easily mended. Like your finger. Just get a vein open and let it drip out slowly. Too fast and you'll pass out. It needs to be slow. You hear me?"

I nodded and turned back around fully to face my friends. At which point Drake patted my back and ordered his men.

"Let's pack this show up and get out of here. Raptor? I'll be in contact."

"Okay." I replied as I made my way back to the trucks. Cody and Peek got up from where they were sitting and looking to those two I ordered them.

"Get their gear up and loaded into the truck. We're not wasting anything. Dump Gabe too. They all deserve to be buried together."

Peek nodded and Cody came by to pat my arm. I nodded and soon found myself back with Zeta and Pepper who were both more than concerned about me. They knew I almost jumped back there and together I knew both of them had the same noses Drake had. It became apparent when Pepper asked me.

"Want me to drive?"

I nodded and got in the back seat. Zeta was the hardest thing to get moving, but in time got up in the passenger's seat; and as soon as we were ready we began the long drive back to Iraq. My hand went for my knife as the wolves up front both looked back at me as I contemplated what Linnen suggested. For a few moments I sat there and questioned if it was something I should really do, but decided against it. I could handle this. So I had no idea what to do other than try and meditate after. Hopefully I could focus, but how can I when all I see is death.

mT Shadow.