Love Struck Delusion
Chapter 247 - How can I focus on reality?
Raptor's POV, an hour later.
Marcus was still content with hanging out despite the situation. Zeta was still standing there motionless. It was creepy to all hell if you were looking through my eyes. She's been a damn statue since this happened and I had no way of knowing when she would be back to me. Yet Marcus was just for some reason staying by my side tonight. He hasn't said more than a handful of words to me since he explained what was going on and I'd assume at this point he was waiting on her. I pray she's okay, but if she's with Raze right now I can only assume the best.
During the passing time, I was very focused on my own well being. I knew something was still going on despite my rest. My body felt jittery and the more I thought about it the more I wondered what that venom was I was given. Even with all my powers I could fall prone to it taking control. My anger was first and foremost to hit, but I had confidence I could hold it back now.
As I began to look over Zeta one more time from where I was seated on the bed, Marcus asked me curiously.
"How do you feel about the future Raptor? You haven't said much to me about what you have planned for the middle east after this is all over. What's going on in that mind of yours? You gonna settle down? Again?"
I looked over to the fox as he asked that question. Giving him my truthful answer back as he was playing with his nails.
"I don't know about that yet. A lot depends on how things play out with Hecan Moore and the states. If I can get the country to run itself without me, then maybe. But that's only part of the issue."
"Hm?" Marcus muttered as I informed him.
"Zeta and Pepper still have unfinished business. I haven't talked to them about it ever since I got them their freedom, but the man that sold them out could still be a threat. Neither of them have said anything yet, but I can't imagine Pepper or Zeta even wanting to settle down till all their loose ends have been tied off."
"Zeak right?" Marcus wondered as I nodded and questioned.
"You know him?"
Marcus began to laugh. Shortly after he replied.
"Hell no. But my job is to know everyone in this realm of existence. I don't know the man, but I know the man. If that makes any sense to you."
"Hehe….no it doesn't."
Stopping what he was doing with his nails, Marcus turned to face me to restate his answer.
"I know every single soul in this world. It's my job. Every soul that passes I'm aware of. It's not something I can easily explain to you. But I'll put it to you this way. In the short amount of time since you woke up, over twelve hundred people have either passed away or have been killed in the states. Five hundred in the middle east within the last hour. Over half of them were by Archer's hands."
I kept my eyes on the fox as he went on to say.
"It's not something you have any business understanding while you're still a demi. If you were me you'd understand why it's not something I can explain with words. But this Zeak? I know where he is right now. I can tell you where anyone is at any time if you wanted. For example…..you and me are here. Hecan Moore is across the other side of the world giving a practice speech at the white house before he goes live on TV. Archer is currently asleep in his room in the capital."
I could only hum as he went on to urge me.
"Name a person."
"Where's Zeak?" I asked him as he simply replied.
"Where you would expect him to be. He's still in China. What he's doing I don't know. I'd have to go out of my way to figure that out."
"If the time comes can you help me help them? I don't know what they plan to do after this is all over, but if they decide they need to do this….can you help?"
Marcus for a moment went silent. He was smiling and very quickly his focus shifted back to his nails. After a few moments he replied.
"I could, but at what cost? What would chasing that man gain them Raptor? Instead of going head first into another war, you should ask yourself what's more important. These two girls have no business throwing away what you've given them. If I were you I wouldn't even bother mentioning the man again. You'll fill them with ideas and I know you better than anyone. You can't afford to lose…..well her." He stated as he looked at Zeta.
I went quiet. He was right. Ten fold he was. He knew just from my thoughts that I was already seeing reason, but regardless he knew I was still going to look for my answer. So he replied.
"If that's something that needs to happen, I can help you. But do us both a favor and if they decide to go after Zeak, you need to stay here and look out for number one. Even after you kill Archer and liberate Afghanistan; the world will still need Raptor Voltz alive and available."
"I know." I replied as he nodded and went on to change the subject.
"The bird downstairs. Peek? You know he's the one who killed Gabe right?"
Widening my eyes slightly I questioned.
"What?"
Nodding Marcus replied.
"Blew him apart with one of his pipe bombs. Nasty way to go. Now Raptor can you see the problem with knowing that?"
My whole body was still as he saw my reaction coming up. Nodding his head Marcus muttered with a tone of interest.
"You don't know this, but Hunter was good pals with the bear before he died. She may have seen someone leave the scene of the crime. That could be a big issue for you if she pieces things together. Or if she simply just sees the bird."
"Shit." I mumbled as he went on to tell me.
"I shouldn't have to tell you, but after what you did to Black and his friends? If that girl learns anything about what you've been doing she'll become a problem."
Shaking my head I replied.
"She's not going to become a problem Marcus. Hunter isn't dumb enough to try something like that. If she sees Peek…..I need to get that man out of uniform."
"He's the only bird in the middle east Raptor. You know as well as I do that it won't matter how you dress him up. She'll question you and she'll probably try to kill the bird if given the chance. You've done your best to keep things under control; and with Black gone that made your life a hell of a lot easier, but this isn't something you can avoid forever. You need to make a choice. Get rid of the bird….or her. Before it gets worse. And do it as soon as you can and quietly. Last thing you need is her going off in the middle of your office."
Marcus had my number. Yet I wasn't ready to make that choice. Hunter might understand if I just open up and be honest with her. I know her. She isn't dumb. She handled Archer, so she can handle this. She barely knew Gabe. She would have to be better. I don't just wana sell her sort. Not yet.
"Raptor?" Marcus said my name and after a second of thinking I looked to him to watch as his gaze redirected itself to Zeta. I was lost up until he told me.
"You should catch her."
Widening my eyes, I jumped up to open my arms. Zeta was slowly shutting her eyes and almost instantly her legs gave out from under her. I caught her by her side and gently brought her onto the bed to whisper.
"Zeta?"
It took some time but her eyes reopened and at first they looked glossed over. Then she realized I was right on top of her. In confusion she replied.
"Raptor? What….?"
Shutting her eyes again, the wolf took a moment to breathe. During which Marcus scooted a foot closer to say.
"Take a minute or two to rest. Your mind needs to readjust. Did you see her?"
Zeta reopened her eyes to look at me for a second. During which she replied.
"I don't know what happened. One second I was here, then the next I was….? I don't know. Was that real?"
Nodding Marcus simply replied.
"As real as yourself."
"What happened?" I quickly asked the wolf as she slowly tried to sit up. I helped her by taking her shoulders and giving her a gentle push and as she sat right up between us she replied.
"I saw Raze. I…...I…..we talked. She had no idea what was going on Raptor, but she was there and she could see me. We talked and I swear it was forever. It felt like hours."
"It's been about an hour." Marcus informed her as she looked back over to the fox who calmly stood up to fix his shirt.
Zeta was utterly spent. She had no idea how to form more sentences. In fact she tried to say something to the fox, but I had to cut her off as she was clearly beginning to cry a little. She wasn't upset. She was just overwhelmed. Marcus kept himself close to us and as Zeta started to cry he said.
"I'm sorry if doing that to you was not something you wanted, but I know from watching you that you really….really cared about the girl. I know you didn't get to say goodbye. I just figured it would be a good way to help you get closure. Closure you needed. Take some time and rest. You're going to feel lightheaded for a while. Sleep it off. And Raptor? I'll see you another time."
I nodded as Zeta looked to the fox to question.
"Are you leaving?"
Marcus nodded and replied.
"I got something that I gotta look into. For Raptor's sake. I'll stop by again so don't fret. Just remember what I told you Zeta."
I took a moment to look at Zeta as she nodded and said back.
"I….Marcus I…...ughhhhh….thank you."
Marcus took that for what it was and I could only assume he wasn't used to hearing it. He gave no response. Zeta shut her eyes and by the time she opened them back up he was gone and left with me. I knew she was fucked up mentailly right now. She still couldn't really speak and as she tried to say something to me; I took her back down to the bed and urged her softly.
"Don't talk. Just rest. You need to sleep."
The wolf nodded and I watched from there as her right hand struggled to reach up and undo her cloak. Gently grabbing her hand and taking it down to her hips, I told her with care.
"Stop moving. I got you."
Zeta was halfway to passing out so I just got to work getting her gear off. It took some time but I had her cloak, vest, and belt all off and to the side. As I placed it all down my eyes came to lock onto something unexpected. I stopped all movement as Zeta reached out to grab me by the back of my pants. I regained the ability to think and turned back to see her looking at me. With almost no voice she asked me.
"Are you okay?"
Smiling, I replied.
"I'm okay."
The girl smiled and shut her eyes to whisper.
"Okay."
It didn't take more than a few seconds for her to pass out leaving me with more than enough to think about. Starting with questioning what Marcus might have said to her while I was out. It had to be important ,but I wouldn't know with her out cold and him gone.
The next issue was what sat just a foot away. Looking down to it again, I found Shadow's vest laid against the edge of the bed. Very slowly I reached back down to grab it. The second I did I was hit with emotion. Old emotion. The vest still had his blood on it. It aged with the fabric itself and every one of his patches remained. From the old rebellion insignia to his squad patch when he was partnered up with Ghost back during the first war. His rank was there over where his heart would be and together it made me question my past.
The vest itself was still plated inside, but like it's age there was nothing more to it. No pouches for spare magazines. No knife holster. Just a thick plate. One that I pulled out to look over for a few seconds. It was so old there was dust and sand inside the holder for it to rest in.
All I could do was stare at it for a bit longer before standing up and taking it towards my closet. I managed to put it away along with some of my clothes before looking back to Zeta who was sleeping like a baby now. Giving myself the time needed to think, I slowly had myself ready to focus on something else. What that was I didn't know. Everyone was asleep and time was going by slow. It was late into the night already and without a way to distract myself from the time, I decided to lay back down with Zeta. I wasn't all that sleepy but maybe I could use this time to practice with my powers. I wanted to keep getting better. Starting with what put me out the first time I did it. With Marcus gone and Zeta unable to help if I fucked up, I really shifted my focus into it. Crossing my fingers I'd be okay enough to quickly meditate after. Regardless of what, I'd fall asleep somehow I guess.
Hunter's POV.
I've tried three times to call Black, but each time I was met with his phone going right to voicemail. After my last failed attempt I put my phone down on my nightstand and questioned what to do tomorrow. I didn't know how to go on now that I was back home. I didn't have a lot of friends and part of me wanted to try and not be useless. I signed up with Raptor because I wanted to make a difference. Having him send me home the way he did made me feel like I was useless. I still needed to know what happened the night I last saw him. He had his reasons for it I'm sure, but I need to know what they were. His whole outlook on the war took a turn and everyone looks to him like he's our only hope.
Truth be told, he was, but there was still something going on. Like the matter of that wolf he had with him when he came back to the capital. I trusted him, but I just needed to know what was going on. I just want to know he still cares enough to talk to me. Hopefully he still trusted me after all this. He had to know it wasn't a choice.
All I could do was keep myself in bed. It was late and I knew tomorrow I could take a chance and go back to the capital and talk to him. I could ask the questions I needed answers to, and at the same time I could try and make myself useful. Hopefully get the chance to make things better and not just for the war effort.
Shutting my eyes and focusing on my breathing, I did my best to fall asleep fast. Yet all my thoughts were running wild. It was going to be my main delay, but in the morning I'd make things right. It was going to be worth it.
mT Shadow.