CHAPTER 9 - I must see him again

The days passed quite simply. Sometimes lazily, but more often quickly because of the enormity of responsibilities. Oscar's work did not allow her to get bored or have too much time to ponder. At least not during the day. It was worse in the evenings, but she coped with it thanks to the reliable help of the contents of the cellars of the de Jarjayes Manor.

On December 19, the Queen gave birth to her first child, Princess Maria Theresa, which kept her at the palace for a while. Oscar had fewer responsibilities, which she didn't like at all.

Winter holidays came, and her birthday, but she did not celebrate them in any special way, like every year.

Fersen appeared in mid-January. He arrived just in time for dinner and it was not appropriate not to invite him. They ate together and then trained with the sword as they were used to. It did not last long, however, because it started to fall in dense snow. So they went back inside and sat down in the living room with a bottle of fine cognac. All this time, Fersen was polite and friendly, and never mentioned his proposal from last time. Until then, at least.

- It was a very nice afternoon - he began, pouring her cognac - It's great to be back in the presence of someone who is as natural as you are. A nice change after a few numb and boring visits.

Oscar looked at him for a moment, then returned to contemplating her glass, without saying a word

- Won't you ask me how it was? - he asked, looking at her attentively.

- I'm sure you will tell me about it - she replied in a resigned voice.

- I will not marry any of them - Fersen replied bluntly - If you do not agree to be my wife, I am not going to marry at all.

Oscar sighed heavily. She didn't like this conversation at all.

- Have you thought about my proposal? - the count continued, unmoved by her silence.

- I did - she replied dryly after a moment - But I can't give you any answer yet.

- I see - Fersen nodded, then smiled happily - Good actually! I thought you would refuse me on the spot. Your words give me hope.

Oscar sighed again and took a deep sip of the cognac. The alcohol tickled her throat pleasantly, and she felt reassured

- You look different.. - the man added, watching her carefully.

Oscar gave him a quick, frightened look and cursed mentally. She should hide her feelings better. When she was alone, she could allow herself moments of weakness, but among others, caution was required.

- I'm just tired, Fersen - she replied, standing up, letting him know that the evening was over.

- Of course, I am really sorry, Mademoiselle - he replied - Good night! - he bid farewell and left.

...

January passed, then also February. March came with the first faint signs of spring. The Queen, thriving as a young mother, fell into a frenzy of all sorts of ideas. Additionally, she seemed to be encouraged by the fact that her beloved Fersen had suspended marriage plans. Rumors said they were meeting secretly in the gardens of Versailles.

In March and April there were a series of sumptuous balls and concerts, which later also moved to the fresh air. The opera was also working very dynamic, with singers and instrumentalists invited from all over Europe. In the Queen's chambers, there was a queue of Parisian modists, who constantly offered her new dresses, wigs and decorations.

Oscar felt more and more tired. All this glamour irritated her. On the one hand, she was used to it, serving at Versailles for years and years. On the other hand, personally she didn't need glamour to be happy. She never liked too fancy clothes and didn't need gold dripping rooms. A tasty meal, a comfortable bed to sleep on, wood burning in the fireplace and warm water for washing, all in all, it was enough for her everyday life. And maybe a little bit of wine, her only extravagance. And there was also work. The most important starting point.

All these months, she thought a lot about the meeting in November. Firstly, with a little bit of longing. Later, this heart pain started to dull, disappear. The confusion of everyday life made her no longer feel regret and life began to flow along the way. Only sometimes the memory of the emerald eyes would come over her suddenly, causing a strange twinge in her heart. She forced those thoughts away and returned to her daily routine.

Oscar's holidays were slowly approaching. This year it was scheduled for July. After her return, Girodelle was to rest. Oscar usually spent that time in Arras, and it was supposed to be like that this year as well. Feverish preparations had already started in June in Arras.

Oscar had mixed feelings about this trip. On the one hand, she was looking forward to a bit of free time to spend on rides, reading, and walking. On the other hand, this two or three weeks was always too long for her. She was not used to such inactivity.

All the time she thought that she promised something to someone a few months earlier. However, such a trip would simply not be good for her. She had dealt with that feeling already, and it would be foolish to stir it up again. Anyway, he seemed to have forgotten it long ago. Oscar knew that letters were coming from him. Often to the nanny, sometimes to Rosalie too. Several times she caught the girl reading secretly with a blush on her face. When she noticed Oscar, she jumped up abruptly and tried to hide the letter in a naive way. But Oscar never asked anything.

A few days before leaving for Arras, however, something unexpected happened.

Oscar, as usual in the afternoon, came home with Jerome. As they drove into the manor, something new caught their eye. Claude was standing in front of the stables, clutching the reins of a magnificent, ebony-black horse. The animal was well-built and slender, with a shiny, velvety coat and a long mane. Oscar stepped closer and handed the horse a sugar cube, then lightly stroked his nose.

- What is this horse come from, Claude? - she asked the groom standing next to him.

- This is a new horse for the master, Madmoiselle - he said - His Orion is quite old now and should be retiring slowly.

- It's true - Oscar agreed, stroking the animal on the jet-black mane - It is beautiful - she added delighted.

- His name is Tempete / fr. storm /, mademoiselle - smiled Claude - It's a Selle Français, a Cob Normand horse. He came straight from Etretat today.

Oscar felt her heart begin to pound.

- From Normandy? - she asked weakly - Has Monsier Grandier brought him?

- No, no - the boy said - Monsier Grandier has sent his grooms. He hardly ever comes himself.

- Got it, thank you, Claude - she said. She stroked the horse's soft mane again and ran away with a painful frustration.

...

- I'm not going to Arras this year – Oscar said with certain voice, as she had dinner with her father that evening.

General looked at her in surprise.

- What are you talking about? - he said with a hint of irritation in his voice - Everything is already settled. You have an appointment and you cannot cancel it! - he added in a tone that hated opposition.

- You received a new, beautiful horse today - she continued, undeterred by his words - He came from our breeding in Normandy. I want to see it.

- You've never been interested in Normandy, Oscar - her father looked at her attentively - What's changed?

- I want to see this breeding, that's all. - Oscar cut in - I'll go anyway.

General sighed heavily. She was so much like him. When she insisted on something, it was hard to talk her out of it. And to make matters worse, he himself could not refuse her anything. He had a special weakness for the latter, youngest daughter. And now this daughter was all grown up and he couldn't control her all the time. The day he had feared for so long would have finally come.

- Please, go to Arras for at least one week. You will meet Count de Novion and the stewards. You will visit the vineyards. And then you can spend the rest of your vacation in Normandy - her father suggested

- Well then, Father - the woman nodded. Her heart was pounding so hard that she was afraid that General sitting opposite might hear it.

It was pure madness, but she didn't care. She just had to see him again.