James had brought her back to Potter Manor, where an elf met them at the door with a distressed look.
"Mistress left!" the elf yelped. "She was gone before we could call for you."
"What are you talking about?" James demanded, putting Lily down. "Where is my mother?"
Lily's mouth went dry as she shrugged James's dark, blood-covered cloak from her shoulders.
"We are sorry Master James but she is dead."
Lily opened her mouth to speak but froze when she saw Broderick Flint standing in the entrance hall, wearing an auror's badge. She narrowed her gaze at him, realizing that her uncle must have appointed new aurors.
Lily soon learned that shortly after she left Potter Manor, Euphemia followed her out of the grounds. Only she'd gone into London, ready to help out at Mungos and gotten stuck in the crossfire of an attack in London, killed by a group of inferi Voldemort sent to rid the city of any muggles.
There were no remains.
Only bloodstains of James's mother on a street in London, according to Flint's report.
James left her, going to London to the site where she died. Lily showered, watching blood and dirt circle the drain. Her hand came to her abdomen as she wondered how the stress and mayhem of the day didn't trigger a miscarriage. When she came out of the shower, clutching a towel to her body, James stood in the bedroom, a healer to his side.
"You need to be examined," he said gruffly. She nodded, swallowing and trying to find the words to say to him but none came. After the healer examined her and the baby, leaving after once again advising James and her that she was to remain on bed rest, James left her.
Lily waited for him all night to return but he didn't.
She woke the next morning and waited again for him to return.
But he didn't.
Four days went by and Lily remained on edge the entire time. The wards were back up and she didn't bother trying to leave the manor, seeing the elves trailing her every so often. She found herself spending time in the library, trying to work the broken radio there to catch any word on the world outside.
When she wasn't in the library, Lily found herself staring out the window at the wicked winter before her. She heard the elves saying that the storm had lasted for days, and knew it had to be a magically-induced one.
Finally, on the fifth night, after James disappeared, Lily found herself staring at her reflection where the smallest bump had appeared on her abdomen. She'd cleared twelve weeks, it being New Year's Eve.
"You're showing."
She turned, nightgown falling from her hands as she stared at James. He stood in the doorway to the bathroom, eyes on her. He was covered in dirt and grime, scruff beginning to take place on his face.
"You're back," she breathed, moving towards him. James crossed his arms, nodding as she stopped in front of him. "I'm so sorry about your mum."
"Are you?" he demanded, pulling away from her.
"James?" she said in confusion. His jaw locked as he shook his head.
"You left her," he hissed. "You encouraged her to leave and fight and now she's dead."
"Inferi killed her," Lily returned. "I didn't do anything."
"No of course not," James scoffed. "Because you're always blameless— Lovely Lily who can do no wrong."
"Your mother just died. I don't want to fight anymore."
James tore a hand through his hair, looking younger than she'd seen him in years. He was biting his lower lip and Lily swallowed.
"You left her," he said again. "She would've stayed."
She could see that he was blinking back tears, staring at her with raw grief in his gaze.
"James," she said quietly, trying to move towards him. Lily froze as he grabbed her by the shoulders, pushing her into the wall.
"She would've stayed for you," he said again. "My mum is dead because of you."
Shock pooled in Lily's mind as James's body shook as he pinned her. She could smell the blood and sweat on his body, see the streaks of mud against his cheeks, and the cracks on the frames of his glasses.
"She's dead," he repeated, over and over, voice going hoarse. Lily finally brought her arms around him, James collapsing against her. She swallowed, stroking his back as he cried against her. "My mother is dead."
"I'm so sorry James," she said. He brought his head up, eyes bloodshot, and held her face before leaning in and brutally kissing her. Lily broke it, shaking her head and trying to escape James's grip.
"I can't do this," she protested. "You're killing so many innocent people— children James."
His eyes narrowed and he pulled away, giving Lily the room to cross her arms over her chest.
"We can't keep having the same argument."
"People are dying and you expect me to be complacent."
"I expect you to love me," he answered.
"You hardly know what love is," she scoffed.
"I've waited for you my entire life Lily— taken care of you, devoted myself to you!"
"I wish you hadn't," she said, blinking back tears. James's jaw locked and he nodded, tearing a hand through his hair.
"I was so angry," he said through clenched teeth. "Angry that you disobeyed me when I tried over and over to protect you. But I'm done indulging you; things are going to be different from now on."
"James," she said in a warning voice. "You've stripped me of all autonomy a—"
"You've done that to yourself," he spat. "I would have let you returned to teach or work again. But after you decided to come to the final battle carrying my child, I've learned my lesson."
Lily was silent and he looked down at her, a grim expression on his face.
"I'm on a mission for the next few days," he said. "The elves have specific orders for you. If you try anything, I'll have them confine you to this room."
Lily's heart thumped hard in her chest.
"You're leaving me here alone?" she asked, frowning at him.
"If my mum was alive then I suppose you wouldn't be alone," James replied coldly. "Take this time to think about how you'll behave in the coming months."
"We need to talk," she protested.
"I have nothing else to say to you," he answered. "Your life was forfeit the moment you decided to go to Hogwarts."
"Don't do this," she beseeched.
"I need to shower and then return to work," he replied, turning towards the shower. Lily swallowed, knowing that he'd effectively dismissed her. She sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for James to come out.
"Where's my wand?" she asked as he appeared, towel around his waist. He looked at her with a tight stare.
" No Lily-my-Lily— you'll be going quite some time without magic."
He stopped in front of her, Lily looking up into his eyes with fury.
"Keeping me trapped here is one thing but magically neutering me is not in your domain,' she responded. "I have a right to wield magic."
James ignored her, bringing his gaze to her body. Lily flushed in rage, moving back from him, only for James to move between her legs, pushing her down into the bed.
"Answer me."
"You're my wife," he said firmly, bringing his hand up her side and taking her hand where the engagement ring and the Potter family sat.
"James," she whined. He ignored her, kissing her lips lightly and moving down her body as his fingers lithely tugged her nightgown's strings open. Lily shivered as he brought his mouth to her barely visible bump, kissing it.
"I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and this baby alive," he vowed, moving back up to hold her face. "Even if that means you'll hate me for it."
"I'll go mad," she breathed. He smiled wryly at her, kissing her again, this time deeper and more demanding.
"Happy New Year's Lily," he said, letting go of her. "I'll be back in a few days."
James rose off her and Lily was filled with a sudden feeling of coldness, fighting the urge to lift her arms and pull him back to her. She watched as he went to the closet, coming out dressed in dark robes. He nodded at her before leaving.
Over the next few days, Lily was visited by various maternity healers and advisors, forced to sit in droll meetings to discuss the logistics of a risky pregnancy she was too well aware of. When she wasn't in meetings, the elves had decided that as James's wife she was the new mistress of the manor and led her through training of her expected duties.
She wasn't allowed to leave the Manor, unable to open many of the doors to her frustration. And as no news came from the outside world, she was growing more and more restless.
Finally, James returned on the day that it finally stopped snowing. Lily had finished boredly overseeing the elves dust the china collections and had settled in the library, trying to break into the locked door of the study she was sure belonged to James.
"What are you doing?"
Lily jumped in surprise, whirling around to see James standing by the doorway to the library watching her in amusement.
"The elves aren't letting me have copies of the prophet," she replied, dropping the knife she'd nicked from the table to try and unlock the door. "They're leaving them in your study."
"You're not allowed in there."
"It's been over a week," she said. "James, I need to know what's happening— are my friends alive?"
He walked to her, stopping in front of Lily and lifting her face. She froze as his lips came down to hers.
"You're covered in blood," she protested, pulling back and staring at his ragged form. "James please."
"I'll shower."
"Are Alice and Frank alive? And Marlene— what's happened to her?"
He swallowed, looking down at her with a dark expression.
"Your only focus for the next seven months should be our child," he replied. His words brought immediate frustration to Lily's mind, reminding her of the way her cousin and sister had been treated by their husbands.
"It doesn't matter," she snapped. "I'm going to lose the baby. The odds-"
"Fuck the odds," James interrupted. "Can you take a bloody chance and hope that this will work out?"
She shook her head, feeling nausea pool from her gut into her throat. Lily's mind returned to their lost child, to the many years of her youth waiting in anticipation of a niece or nephew who never came, and to Bellatrix's warning all those years ago.
"James I can't do this alone— I need my family and my friends."
"I'm your family now," he answered rigidly, bringing his hand to her waist. She stared up at him desperately, pleading with her eyes as he let go, running a hand through his hair and letting out a gruff laugh. "I haven't slept in days Lily. Let's have this argument later."
"No," she insisted. "You can't seriously expect me to stay cooped up inside for the next seven months."
"You're supposed to be on bed rest," James retorted. "You're lucky I'm even allowing you to leave our bedroom."
"Let me go into the grounds," she pleaded. "Just one walk outside. I'm going mad James."
He opened his mouth to argue but shook his head.
"I'm staying the night. If you behave properly I'll consider it."
With that, James left her in the library. Later that night, Lily frowned at the sight of him in her bed, poking him awake.
"What?" he said in annoyance, turning and pressing his face into the pillows.
"I'm not sleeping in the same bed as you," she hissed. "Get up."
"We're married," he said, voice muffled into the pillow.
"In name alone," Lily replied. "Move."
James sat up, turning over to her and she froze at the sight of the deep shadows visible under his eyes. He yawned, the blanket falling down his abdomen and Lily's eyes flickering down to his toned body.
"What happened?" she asked, bringing her hand to a healing wound on his stomach. Lily swallowed as James cringed against her touch.
"You know I can't tell you."
She brought her hand back and James reached for his glasses on the table, but Lily blocked him. Before he could protest, she moved over him, straddling his waist. She brought her hand to his chest, running it back down to his wound.
"Lily," he said in warning. She ignored him, leaning forward to bring her lips flush against his. James was frozen for a moment before letting go, wrenching his hand into her hair and pulling her flush against his chest.
As James began to tug at the ties of her nightgown, Lily pressed him down back into the pillows, him letting out a noise of approval. With James distracted, she moved her left hand to his bed stand, grasping for his wand.
Before Lily could wrap her fingers around it, he reached for her arms, pinning them together and flipping them over so she was under him. Lily squirmed against him and James laughed, his teeth visible in the faint moonlight.
"Didn't think you'd be so treacherous," he noted, leaning down to kiss her. Lily thrashed against him and James let go, reaching for his wand. He chanted the binding spell, Lily's wrists confining themselves with invisible ties.
"What are you doing?" she demanded when James dropped his wand and moved back next to her. He moved her to her side, pulling her body into his arms.
"Sleeping with my wife," James answered, wrapping one arm over her hip. He kissed her neck, letting out a satisfied sound as he relaxed behind her.
"James," she warned.
"Just sleeping," he clarified. "Stay Lily— give me tonight and I'll let you go into the gardens tomorrow morning."
She swallowed, allowing herself to relax against James's familiar body and the warmth spreading from him. His hand moved to rest against her bump and he nuzzled her neck.
"Any name ideas?"
Lily's mouth went dry and she was silent.
"Petunia used to have a name book but she burned it after losing the third child," she said after a moment. James didn't answer.
The next morning, she bundled into the thickest cloak she could find, standing eagerly at the door to the gardens as James finished his breakfast and came to her.
"It's cold outside," he warned.
"There's fresh air out there," she replied, practically rocking on her heels with eagerness. He chuckled, finally removing the spells and walking Lily out into the snow-covered gardens. A winter breeze hit her as she stared at the ice and snow.
"This can't be natural."
"It's induced," James replied. Lily frowned, observing the rugged state of the frozen gardens. Why would they induce such an intense winter?
"Good for keeping people inside," she noted, running her hands along the icy railing towards the ever-lasting roses. Lily paused, turning to look at him. "And for killing anyone who might not have a place to go."
James was silent, meeting her gaze firmly and she shook her head.
"Whose idea was this?" she demanded, looking up into the still-grey sky. "To create a snowfall spell that could last this long with this much accumulation you'd need a charms master, one who-"
"Lily," he warned.
"It couldn't be one wizard," she realized. "What is he doing with all of the Order members who didn't pledge their allegiance?"
"You're too smart for your good," James said quietly. Lily gaped at him, shaking her head.
"Whose idea was it?" she demanded.
"That's not rel-"
"Who?" she shouted. "Who did this to my friends— our classmates!"
James didn't answer her and she shook her head, crossing her arms.
"I can't believe you," she huffed, storming off towards the grounds.
"Lily get back here right now," he ordered.
"Piss off," she spat, ignoring him.
"Do not defy me!"
She ignored him and upon hearing his steps crunching into the snow, took off. She yelped as one of her delicate flats fell from her foot but kept going. Lily tore towards the woods, sprinting as hard as she could. Pain lanced through her foot as she hit a jagged rock and she could hear James behind her.
"Lily you're only making this harder for yourself," he yelled. She didn't dare to look behind. "Just stop— you're bleeding all over the snow!."
She continued on, ignoring the painful sensation in her lungs and the thumping of her heart. Lily was ridiculously out of shape, no longer in the prime seasoned state of being an auror. Catching her cloak on a root, Lily stopped suddenly, tripping and falling onto her face. Before she could scramble up, she felt James reach her, pinning her into the snow and restraining her arms.
"Stop."
She squirmed under him as he took his wand out and spelled her arms together, wrenching them out above her head and turning her. Fury was coated over his eyes as he caught his breath over her.
"You've scratched up your face," he said tightly.
"Let go of me," she exclaimed, continuing to struggle.
"Calm down."
She responded by growling at him as he finished binding her legs. Lily fumed, feeling her skin flush as James moved up, pulling her into his lap.
"What has gotten in you?" he demanded, tearing her cloak up to look at her bleeding foot
"I think my behavior is pretty tamed for someone who's been kidnapped and held against her will."
"Don't be dramatic," James answered, healing her foot. "There's no scenario that would have kept us from being together."
He hoisted her up into his arms and Lily felt her body jostle against him.
"You're not acting in the best interest of our child."
She ignored him and James walked through the woods back towards the Manor.
"Lily talk to me."
"We don't have a child," she finally said. "We have false hope."
James didn't answer her, continuing on back towards her prison.
R&R-Rin