March

By the end of March, Lily was exhausted.

On top of school grading and assignments ramping up, her work with the Order had drastically increased. She helped Severus with decoding messages, brewing healing potions, and even took occlumency lessons with him. Those were perhaps the hardest of her new tasks, leaving Lily dizzy and covered in a layer of sweat.

But she felt alive for the first time in months. Lily hadn't considered her work to have so much impact since she'd been an auror and she knew that her friends would be proud of her now.

The Order members often stopped into the room of requirement (as she learned the name the room Snape took her to was called) in between their missions to grab supplies, report news, or be healed.

As Lily tromped into the room one evening, she was greeted by the sight of Fabian Prewitt, dripping blood all over a spectacular tapestry of a griffin. His eyes narrowed at the sight of her as she rushed over.

"Merlin what happened?" she asked, stopping by his side to look at the huge wound on his side.

"Your husband happened," he said in a low hiss. "Caught me and Doc helping a group to the portkey on the coast and sent a bombardo at us."

She bit back bile at the sight of splinters and dirt in his flesh.

"We need Severus," she said, pushing him towards a long table. "I can't treat this."

"Snape's on a mission," Fabian gritted. She nodded hesitantly, looking to the bag of healing equipment. "Get Montague."

"Grant?" she asked in surprise. Fabian shut his eyes.

"He healed Amelia Bones last week," he grunted. "Go get him."

"Is he in the Order?"

"I'm bleeding out Ever— Potter!"

She responded quickly, tossing a blood replenishing potion into his mouth and hurrying out of the room towards the chambers where many of the death eaters assigned to the castle were staying. Lily stopped in front of Grant's room, recalling Remus pointing it out once with distaste, and knocked on it hard until he opened.

"Wha— Lily?"

He was in his sleeping robes and Lily caught her breath.

"Fabian sent me," she said in a whisper. "He's hurt."

Grant's expression turned grim as he moved past her, taking off towards the seventh floor. Lily followed, barely able to keep up, and felt sweat trickle down her back when they finally reached the room.

Grant paced in front, wrenching the door open and hurrying to Fabian. Lily watched in amazement as he began to heal him.

"How do you know healing magic?"

Grant glanced at her for a moment as he cleaned the wound.

"I worked with ancient ruins and nasty spells— it's a prerequisite for curse-breaking."

"Right," Lily said, moving the healing potions to him as he worked. She watched in amazement as he cleaned and began to heal the wound. She watched as Fabian spoke to Grant, unable to hear his words from the low tone. Within an hour, it was wrapped and Fabian asleep thanks to a dreamless sleep potion. She was cleaning the blood from the area as Grant watched her.

"Does Potter know about your extracurricular activities?"

She looked up at him as she finished the last of the bloodstains from the ground.

"No," Lily replied in a whisper. "I didn't know you were involved."

Grant scoffed.

"I've been involved since our seventh year," he replied coldly. "It's more of a shock that Lovely Lily is here."

She bristled at his abrasive tone, clearing the healing supplies from Fabian and draping a blanket over him.

"I was an auror," she reminded. Grant was silent, staring at her as she continued to clear the area. "What's your problem?"

"Do you know what they do to traitors?"

She turned to face him, flinching at the icy expression Grant wore.

"It's torture for days," he explained. "Hours of the cruciatus spell and slicing jinxes to get you to crack. If you're lucky they'll kill you after they're done. But they also hand people off to Greyback or the dementors."

"I know the risks," she replied coldly.

"Do you?" he demanded. "Because that's what they'll do to my sisters if you decide to slip up your mental wards and your husband uses legimency to see what you've been up to and finds me here."

Lily's stomach twisted painfully.

"James wouldn't do that," she insisted.

"You really don't know him at all," he mused, crossing his arms and looking at her with pity. "He killed Gideon Prewitt you know."

Lily's stomach plummeted and Grant nodded.

"Took days to do it when they captured him. Tortured him for bloody hours all because of you."

"We went on one date," Lily protested. But Grant wasn't done.

"He's psychotic. Left pieces of Gideon plastered to the walls for the elves to clean."

"Stop," Lily begged.

"He did keep one piece of him," Grant continued. "Had it sent right to Molly Weasley. I'm sure you can guess what that was."

She was silent, blinking back tears and Grant nodded.

"I told you years ago what he was and you didn't listen to me. It's too late to save yourself so do me a favor and obliviate yourself so my family doesn't need to die too."

He turned, leaving without another word.

March 27th rolled around soon enough to Lily's dismay. She hadn't forgotten Grant's words, holding them for the days after his revelation and waiting in dread for James to appear in her chambers.

On the morning of his birthday, she woke feeling nauseous at the thought of facing him. But as the hours went back, James never appeared. By midnight, Lily was in bed, anxious and waiting for him.

He never came.

Over the next few days, her worry continued to grow as she debated whether to ask Remus about James's whereabouts. He informed her he'd be off mission by the end of Spring but it had been over a week since then.

On the last day of March, Lily found herself unable to sleep or think, consumed by thoughts of whether he was alive or dead. By midnight, she decided to find Remus, changing into her robes and preparing to storm to his office and demand he reveal where James was.

As she walked from her room to the sitting room, Lily yelped as the fire lit up in green light and James stepped through.

"Dammit James," she exclaimed, leaning against the wall as her heart raced. Her hand came to her larger bump and she stared at him in annoyance.

"I was hoping for a more enthusiastic greeting," he returned, smiling at her, before frowning at her attire. "Going somewhere?"

"To Remus's office," she huffed, dodging his lips as he came over and attempted to kiss her. "Where have you been? You told me you'd been done with assignment nearly ten days ago!"

"It ran longer," he answered smoothly, shrugging his own robes off. "I'm done now, no need to stress Lily-my-Lily."

She batted his hand away as he attempted to bring it to her face.

"You're infuriating," she retorted. "I asked for transparency— I thought you were dead in the bloody woods this whole time. I couldn't sle-"

She froze upon hearing her words and could feel James's heavy gaze on her.

Her concern was no longer over what was happening in the world around them nor for her own security. No, her worry and anxiety stemmed from something else.

As she met James's gaze, she knew that he'd realized the same thing and was holding back a smile.

"I won't do it again," he said solemnly. "Let me take you to bed and you can lecture at me all morning."

She felt a heavy emotion overwhelm her as she struggled for words. He was calm and collected, glee dancing in his eyes as he smiled at her indulgently.

Despite all he'd done and would continue to do, her affinity and concern for him were all from one twisted reason— she loved James.

As the weeks went by, Lily adjusted to James's reassignment, bringing him in more contact with her than ever before. He'd visit multiple times a week, her receiving letters in the morning informing her when he'd stop by rather than his previously unexpected visits.

The change in their communication enabled her to know when to perform work for the Order, Lily knowing that if she wasn't in her classroom or chambers when he arrived, he could just pull out that map his friends had made years ago and see where she was.

By mid-April, Lily was teaching a group of third years only for Madison Fawley to open the door and meet her gaze.

"Professor Slughorn sent me to bring you to his office," she said, holding out a letter. Lily frowned, moving to the girl and taking the letter. She peered at the contents and bit back a curse, dismissing the class and walking off towards the Headmaster's makeshift office.

"Lily?"

She looked to her left to see Remus standing by a window, watching her with a frown.

"Petunia's gone into early labor," she explained, continuing to walk on. She heard him catch up to her with ease and frowned, glancing at her now protruding waist with slight annoyance.

"Wasn't she due in August?'

"Yes," Lily managed, storming down the stairs to Slughorn's study. "She's four months early."

She hurried inside the office, taking the Professor's look of pity and flooing directly to Mungos. As Lily arrived she could see reporters in the waiting area and scoffed as lights flashed in her direction. Quickly, a nurse directed her to the maternity ward and she made her way to Petunia's room, expecting the worst.

As she reached the hall, Lily froze upon seeing her aunt clutching a napkin and crying.

"Oh Lily," Druscilla sighed, wiping her eyes. "It's a miracle— the boy's made it. But tonight's all that matters!"

"Her baby's alive?" Lily asked in shock.

Her aunt nodded vigorously.

"Four months early but he's got a strong heart. The healers think if he makes it through the night he'll live."

Lily nodded, before going into the room and seeing her sister asleep with Rabastian sitting by her side, stroking her hair back. He looked up at her, his eyes collapsing with exhaustion as a sad smile stretched on his lips.

"She's the most brilliant thing on this planet," he said in a low voice. Lily caught his expression and was struck by the devotion of a man she'd never considered to regard her sister more than a breeding machine.

"Don't ever ask for another," she warned. "Petunia's suffered enough."

He was silent and she opened her mouth to threaten him only for Rodolphus Lestrange to enter the room. Lily's mind came to a halt as she stared at the gaunt shadow of a man, locking eyes with his brown irises.

Immediately, she thought of her dead cousin and felt ill, hand coming to her stomach in an attempt to protect her child from the ghost of Bellatrix.

"I need to go," she muttered, pushing past Rodolphus and moving into the maternity ward hallway. She tried to catch her breath but all she could see was the misery Bellatrix had inflected onto her family. Between Narcissa and Petunia trying for six collective years, there were nearly ten failed pregnancies.

Lily shook her head before the grief could consumer her, tromping down the hall to distract herself. As she walked, she froze, seeing a familiar head of blonde hair.

"Marls," she called, voice getting raspy. Marlene McKinnon turned, her blue eyes widening at the sight of Lily.

"Lily," she said in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"My sister's given birth," she said numbly. "You didn't write."

Marlene's eyes flickered.

"Neither did you," she said back.

"James had me on lockdown for over a month," Lily answered.

"Sirius doesn't let me out of the bloody townhouse without a chaperone," Marlene answered. "Not since the battle— his mother's coming from the gift shop."

Lily grimaced at the thought of seeing her aunt and Marlene laughed bitterly.

"Imagine living with that harpy," she said spitefully. "Nearly got her to finally end me once."

Lily's mind filled with sadness at her friend's words and Marlene shook her head.

"I'm not allowed to ask about our friends let alone write people," she admitted.

"I thought you didn't want me at the wedding," Lily replied.

"The wedding?" Marlene said in disgust. "You mean that farce Sirius had to imperio me down the aisle to go to."

"Why did he take you?" Lily asked in confusion. "On the day of the battle."

Marlene's eyes softened, flashing with emotions and she shook her head.

"It doesn't matter now," she said softly. "But look at you! You're what four months?"

"Five," Lily said with a smile. "I'll have a son by August."

"That's brilliant," Marlene declared. "And you're happy with Potter?"

"Happiness is hard now."

Marlene nodded, looking sad and Lily bit her lip, glancing around the walls.

"What are you doing here?" she asked

"Excuse me?"

"In Mungos," she clarified. Marlene looked like a deer caught in headlights as she swallowed.

"Three months."

Lily blinked at her in confusion before it hit her.

"Oh," she gasped. "And how do you feel?"

"Trapped," Marlene said immediately. "Sirius is thrilled— knocked me up nearly weeks after I got to the townhouse."

"Marls," Lily murmured, bringing her arms around her friend. She could feel Marlene's heartbeat as she sniffled.

"It's just you and me Lily left… They're executing Frank and Alice the moment their baby is born."

Marlene's words crashed down on her.

"We'll have our children," Lily answered.

"They'll be death eaters," Marlene snapped bitterly. "Killing before they're adults: just like their fathers."

Her words shook Lily to her core.

"James wouldn'.. well he.. I-"

"Don't be naive Lily. This is what he wants— a new generation is a new army."

Nausea pooled in Lily's gut at the thought of her son bearing the dark mark.

"We're giving birth to soldiers, not children," Marlene declared bitterly.

After seeing Petunia that night, an elf from Potter Manor appeared, informing Lily that James didn't want her spending the night waiting and to wait at the Manor for him. She found herself back in their bedroom in the Manor, struggling to get one of her old nightgowns on that night before finally grabbing one of James's old shirts and throwing it on.

"I haven't seen that in years."

She looked at James, sprawled on their shared bed looking exhausted. Looking down at her shirt, Lily rolled her eyes realizing it was one of his old Quidditch shirts.

"It's the only thing that will fit me," she replied. "I'm officially huge."

"You're pregnant," James scoffed, leaning over to kiss her firmly. "How's your sister doing?"

Lily snuggled into his arms, moving her legs between his before shrugging.

"She's thrilled it's a boy. The healers think the baby will live but she wasn't thrilled when I asked her to get a permanent contraceptive charm."

"Why would you do that?"

Lily frowned, looking over at him.

"She nearly died every time," she explained. "This suffering isn't worth it."

"Bellatrix is dead and if Rabastian and her want mor-"

"James she could have died this time," Lily protested. "She's my sister, not a breeding horse."

He looked at her with sharp eyes and she huffed, pulling from his arms.

"We need to repopulate the wizarding population of England," he finally said. Lily snorted at that, ready to say a quip about why they needed to do that in the first place but froze at his tone.

"I don't want another baby," she quickly said. "Not at least for a few years. I want to work and I need time to get certified with the Charms Committee."

"That's not up to you," James replied firmly. "We can't make James II an only child— trust me he'll be ruined."

"I trust you— you're a grand exhibit in only children being spoiled brats," Lily replied as he rolled his eyes. "But I'm not doing this again. James, we're so young we have so much time."

"No."

Lily's eyes narrowed at him.

"I'm not a horse that you can breed at bloody will," she protested. "I'm a human James and this pregnancy is awful. I'm vomiting all the bloody time and can barely walk up a flight of stairs and."

She stopped, feeling tears of frustration in her eyes. Lily sniffed, furiously wiping them as James brought his hands to her shoulders.

"Oh Merlin- don't cry Lily," he soothed. "I'm being a cad and you-"

"I'm not upset," she exclaimed, flushing. "I'm pregnant and hormonal and if you look at me like that any longer I'll hex you."

He looked at her in shock and she crossed her arms with a huff.

"I'm going to sleep," she declared, turning over and snapping the lights off.

The baby lived and Lily rolled her eyes at the bizarre name they'd given him.

"Rickon Dudley Lestrange," she repeated to James one night in Mid-April. He'd come to the castle for the night and was reading a work briefing that Lily had been glancing at when he was distracted.

"Dudley?" he asked in shock.

"Some atrocious name from one of Petunia's lists," she replied. "Rickon for his father of course but they want him to go by Dudley."

"Do they want him to be bullied?"

Lily shook her head at him, a smile coming on her face.

"Is that somehow better than your ideas?"

He looked up from the paper and laughed.

"James II and Elvendork are perfectly respectable names— I had a great uncle named Elvendork."

"Your great uncle was born in 1850," Lily protested. "And I'm not naming our son after you— that's ridiculous."

"Blimey, and Herbert is better?"

"It was just an idea," she replied, flushing. "Besides Herbert is a respectable name."

"For a Potions professor," he matched. "I'd bully our son if his name was Herbert."

Lily shook her head, biting back a laugh.

"We have months to decide," she answered, smiling at him as he brought an arm over her shoulder.

While she and James were getting along better than ever, Lily couldn't help but feel dread over the future. Her work with the Order was getting more demanding as they worked around the clock to free people from the camps.

As the weeks went on, the Order was growing. Voldemort's oppressive regime was sending more people looking for a way to help, bringing resources and people to their group. Lily didn't see the new numbers but did hear from Severus that they were saving more people than ever before.

"The only problem is that he's caught on. They're instituting a curfew up North so Dementors can patrol. They're allowed to feast on anyone they find."

Lily shuddered at his words, seeing some of the Dementors lurking beyond the wards of Hogwarts one day on a walk with Remus.

"They can't come in right?"

"As long as the wards are up we're fine," he replied. "Montague's got them covered."

"Why him?"

"He's the best curse breaker in a century— took down the old wards and kept these new ones up," Remus explained. "Besides he can't slip up. The Dark Lord's got his sisters here and Carrow will kill one if he makes one mistake."

Lily struggled with the grim stakes, waking up some nights to dreams of dementors and others to a nameless child with her eyes holding a wand with a vicious light emerging. She'd wake in a panic before she could see him use the killing curse.

As April ended, she received more news, James strolling into the Great Hall one evening.

"What are you doing here so early?" she asked, smiling at him. Students and professors were watching him alike as he smiled at her. He was plastered on covers of the Prophet, often leading debriefings in the mornings.

"Got off work early with some news I thought I'd bring to you," he explained, sitting beside her. "Narcissa's given birth— a son that's quite healthy."

"That's marvelous," Lily answered, feeling immediate joy for her cousin who'd waited so long for this. "Have they named him?"

"Some awful name for Lucius's family's tradition," James replied, snagging a treacle tart. "Merlin I forgot how good the food is here. I need to stop eating dinner at work and just come here."

Lily rolled her eyes as he began to pile his plate. More people entered the hall, including Severus who looked extremely distressed. He was walking towards her but stopped upon seeing James.

"What are you doing here Potter?" he sneered. Lily looked at James, who'd been engrossed in conversation with Remus who just arrived at the hall as well.

"Eating dinner with my wife Snivellius," he replied coolly. Lily frowned at his diminutive address to Severus as Snape looked at her with urgency.

"The felix filicus we've been brewing is ready," he said. Lily's mind lit up at his words, recalling the code they'd made weeks ago. "We should go and add the final dragon's tears to it."

"I think you'll have to go without me," she replied, knowing that James could whip out that map and see that they would not be in the dungeons but rather the seventh floor. "I don't get to see James terribly often."

"I insist you come," Severus added. "This step needs your expert eye."

She swallowed, feeling panic in her as James scoffed.

"She said no," he hissed. "Besides that, Lily is nearly six months pregnant and I don't want her anywhere near a volatile potions brewing session."

Lily looked at Severus apologetically as his eyes turned icy and he whirled around turning. That night, as she was preparing to bed, James was studying a report.

"Surprised you and Snape are so chummy."

"He lets me practice brewing in the dungeons sometimes," she said, unclasping her jewelry. "We've gotten along."

"He's a git," James said immaturely.

"You sound like a child," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"He outed Remus to the Dark Lord's circles," James explained. "And he nearly got Regulus killed on his first mission. I'm not inclined to be cordial to him."

Lily frowned at the latter statement, joining James on the bed.

"Let's not argue," she said. "I've got a better idea of how we can spend tonight."

Loved all the reviews on the last chapter!

R&R