Epilogue

three weeks later

"What do you mean I can't come in?" he demanded.

James's eyes narrowed up at the man sitting at the entrance to the Wizengamot Court.

"Only those on trial are allowed-"

"I'm her husband," he snapped, anger flushing through him. "I'm James Potter."

"No exceptions," the man said, looking at him fearful as James practically snarled.

He was exhausted, having spent the past three weeks barely sleeping and in constant fear of this day. Despite being born early, their son had managed perfectly thanks to the excellant care from the healers at Mungos. Lily had recovered quickly from the early birth, returning with him to Potter Manor within a week.

She was behind him, holding their son as he continued to argue with the attendant.

"James it's alright."

He turned to her, the attendant taking the opportunity to duck inside of the Court. James's eyes immediately soften as he met the sight of his wife and son. Lily was dressed in emerald robes, looking beautiful with her bright eyes and startling hair. Staring back at him was his son, having the same matching emerald eyes as his mother.

"You shouldn't go in alone," he said gruffly, walking closer to her. Her face remained still, eyes flickering down to their son.

Over the past three weeks, they tiptoed around this inevitable appointment, which had been pushed back at his insistence to give Lily more time to recover. He hadn't mentioned a word of it, watching her constantly when he thought she wasn't looking.

He couldn't bring himself to say the words, to beg her to stay and choose him. James was defeated, lost in the realization from that night that he'd never choose this war or the Dark Lord over Lily— that he'd nearly lost her for hesitating on it.

She was his world and had been for years.

"I'm ready," she answered, looking up into his eyes as he stopped before her. "Take him."

She moved to pass their son to him and immediately his face scrunched up. Lily smiled at him, leaning down as she brought him into James's arms.

"It's alright darling," she murmured. "I love you Harry."

His mouth went dry.

"I'm sorry," James blurted. Lily frowned at him and he shifted Harry in his arms, longing to grab her and stop her from entering that room.

"I'm sorry for ruining us."

Lily shook her head, giving him a sad smile as she leaned up, over their son to kiss him. He tried to memorize the feeling of her, the warmth of her lips against his.

"I love you," she said sweetly.

James's throat bobbled as he swallowed.

"Lily I-"

"No," she said, shaking her head again. "There's nothing to say."

She leaned down and kissed Harry's forehead; James remained powerless.

"Be good for your dad," she whispered. James's heart panged and he remained wordless. There was nothing to say. That night three weeks ago, he'd turned into the very monster he hated— a machine that killed without question.

"Lily," he said again. She held his gaze and he sighed. "You're my entire world."

"Harry," she answered. "He's my world."

He nodded, watching as she turned to the door to the court. She looked back at him once, eyes flush with emotion before facing the entrance and leaving. James remained rooted to the spot until the attendant returned and escorted him out of the hall. He found Sirius and Remus waiting outside.

"They didn't let you in?"

"No," he managed, clutching his son as they waited. Minutes ticked by and James paced, holding Harry.

"Did she say anything before?"

"No," he answered brusquely. "I couldn't even ask?"

"Why?" Remus asked in confusion.

"Her patronus is a doe."

They were soulmates.

That feeling in his heart he felt his whole life when around her was not chance. It was written in his blood to love Lily.

"She wouldn't leave her child," Sirius assured. "Trust me I've seen Marlene and she's only pregnant."

"I ruined everything," James said hoarsely.

"Yes."

His heart shuttered to a stop and he turned, seeing Lily standing in front of him with a tired expression. She moved in front of him, hands coming around his neck to press herself against him and Harry.

"Lily," he breathed, realizing what she'd done, what she'd given up.

"But I choose you."

AN: While this story leaves a lot up in the air, it comes to the original conclusion I'd wanted for it- a not so happy, happy ending. Lily's ability to have agency is constantly limited over and over again. However, she gets the ultimate choice in the end, choosing James of her own volition. While her reasoning and judgement is largely obscured, I felt that this paid her the ultimate tribute- giving her decision the independent privacy she was not afforded throughout this story.

I never thought I'd finish this story but thanks to some lovely encouragement from all the readers, I was able to nip this one in the bud. I'm grateful for all the thoughtful reviews and PMs. I know some were disappointed by the abruptness to this ending but I will say I have another story in the wires, inspired by both this one as well as my previous one "In the Dark."

R&R