Comfort/Sorrow

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

Summary: Rivetra Week 2017 Prompt Day 7

He noticed her every Saturday at the cemetery, sitting, staring glumly at the headstone.

She would see him at the same grave with the same saddened look on his face.

Neither ever acknowledged the other.

Until one evening when the sky opened and rain began to fall harshly.

Petra winced, walking through the muddy grass, praying she wouldn't slip. She quickly left the cemetery and walked until she reached a nearby cafe, where she could hide from the downpour and get a hot cup of coffee. She was drenched by the time she reached for the handle and entered the lovely shop. Water dripped from her coat and she quickly removed it, hanging it by the door. The bell jingled behind her when someone came in as she stood before the register, placing her order.

When the barista rang up the order, Petra cursed herself and the rain. Her heart fell and she felt mild panic. "I'm sorry I—"

"Excuse me." Levi held out her small purse.

"Oh. Thank you," she said, relieved. "Can I buy you something?" She blurted and he stopped, body half turned away. "I think it's the least I can do for returning this. It means a lot to me." Her phone, license, keys, credit cards, a huge chunk of her life was in the baby blue purse. And the purse itself held great sentimental value for her.

Levi was soaked. Some of the rain had gone through and the cold was setting in. He decided he could use something hot and sweet. "Sure." They moved to the side as they waited. She watched him walk toward the door, momentarily confused thinking he was leaving. Instead, he shrugged off his jacket and hung it alongside hers.

"The rain sure came out of nowhere."

"Yeah." He would have brought a proper coat if he had known. "Didn't think it was going to rain today."

She nodded.

The barista called out their orders. They moved to a window table seating two. Silence fell as they sipped their beverages.

"So, who do you visit?" Levi finally spoke.

"My husband."

He nodded.

"You?"

"My wife."

"I'm sorry." Her eyes were full of sadness and compassion. "I can imagine how hard that must be."

Levi didn't feel the same anger he usually did when people said those words or something like it to him. For once he was actually talking to someone who really knew what it felt like. She understood, unlike the others. They didn't have any idea what it was like to lose the person you loved the most in the world and sometimes, they said things in their ignorance. He knew they meant well but it didn't keep him from feeling resentful.

"You visit her quite often. I've seen you."

"I see you there, too."

They fell silent again, sipping their coffee. This time, Petra broke the silence first. "How long has it been?"

Levi felt a familiar defensiveness spring up at the question before it disappeared quickly. "Two and a half years."

Petra nodded. "Nearly three."

The following week, they ran into each other as they were leaving the cemetery, falling into an easy conversation and making their way to the same cafe since both hadn't had the chance to eat earlier. He found her to be a great conversationalist unlike most people, and she liked his genuine interest in what she had to say.

He looked out the window. "Do they, do your family and friends ever...?"

"Yeah." Her head bowed, looking upset. "They don't understand." Her slim fingers tightened around the cup.

"No," Levi said bitterly. "They don't."

"My dad told me to see a therapist because it's been so long and I can't move on." Her frustration clear in her voice. "You can't love someone so deeply like that and then stop when a socially appropriate amount of time has passed."

He nodded. "They don't understand it's not the same for everyone. And they look at you like there's something wrong with you for still loving your dead spouse instead of finding someone new."

"Yes, exactly." There was such relief on her face. Finally, someone who truly knew what she was feeling. There was no pity in his eyes, only a deep understanding and empathy. "Why is it so wrong for us to love and remain faithful to people who have passed away? It's not hurting anyone."

Levi agreed. "My family tells me the world moves on, even though it feels like it shouldn't, and I need to as well. But I go to work, hang out with friends, try to be happy—and I am, mostly. It's not like I haven't stopped living my life entirely."

"That's right. If we're meant to find someone, we will. But we can't force our hearts to move on." Petra felt so glad to finally meet someone who understood. Maybe she should have joined a widows group.

The third time they met, they discussed their partners' most endearing and most irritating habits. It felt good to be able to talk about their deceased spouses without overthinking how the listener would interpret their words.

On their fourth meeting, they talked about their friends and family and work.

By the seventh time, they knew each other's preferences in food, music, and literature, along with their goals and fears and their little quirks and mannerisms.

They didn't feel so lonely in each other's company and grew to look forward to every Saturday.

As the weeks turned into months, they found themselves thinking about the other person on a daily basis. Petra would imagine how he would react to something that happened at work or what he would think about something she heard or saw. Levi would think about how she would have loved the play his family dragged him to or what she would think when he and his friends were having a discussion.

Petra buttoned up her coat all the way as the wind whipped her. The sky was full of ominous clouds and the trees around the edge of the cemetery shook wildly. She stuck her purse under her arm and attempted to grab the end of her scarf that was flying to the side and tie it up. The gust knocked her cap off. Her purse fell when she attempted to reach for the cap. Cursing, trying to keep the hair out of her face, she picked up the cap.

"Here." Levi was holding her purse, reminding her for a second about the first time they met.

Dusting her cap and forcing her hair back, she pulled it on and accepted her purse. "Thanks."

"I don't think we should be out here." Levi took out his phone and swiped a few times. "The wind advisory is in effect."

Petra glanced at her husband's headstone before nodding. "Let's go."

The wind practically shoved them as they left.

When they reached the street the cafe was on, the gusts hit them straight on.

Levi took her hand without thinking, and worried for a second she might not like that. But Petra stuck closer to him.

"Oh thank goodness," Petra said when they made it. The place was fairly empty aside from three customers sitting apart and two baristas behind the registers.

"Take a seat. I'll go and make our orders." Levi didn't even have to say a word when he reached the counter. The girl, Historia, placed the order before he had a chance and asked for confirmation. "How did you know?"

"I see you and your wife every Saturday," she replied, smiling brightly. "It's so cute you take her on a date once a week."

Levi eyed the wedding band he had begun debating taking off. He should have corrected the barista but he figured the only other conclusion she'd come to was they were both cheating on their spouses. So he simply nodded and paid. He glanced at Petra as he waited. Unconsciously, he found himself smiling at her. After the frustrating week he'd had, he found just the sight of her soothing. He couldn't wait to talk to her.

Unknown to him, she was gazing out the window, relaxed and happy, thinking about everything she wanted to share with him. She was pulled out of her thoughts when he placed the brown and white cup before her. "Here's your latte. And don't worry, I didn't forget the extra whipped cream."

"Thanks." She accepted graciously and took a sip.

"Maybe we should try something new." Levi took a sip of his own coffee. "I didn't even have to say anything, she already knew what I'd order."

"We've been coming here for nearly four months now, right?"

"They seem to think we're a married couple." Levi didn't know why he told her that. "Probably because of these," he gestured to her left hand with his.

Her eyes fell to her ring. She had been considering taking it off for a week now.

"I'm sorry," Levi apologized, looking a little awkward.

Petra looked up, confused by his words. What did he have to apologize for?

"I should have corrected her. I was just thinking I didn't want them thinking we were cheating and—"

"No, it's okay." She smiled quickly. "It's fine. So," she changed the topic, "anything interesting happen this week? I have a story I think you'll love..."

Levi smiled affectionately at her. "What happened?"

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