CHAPTER 22 - Honesty and lust
At the appointed time, Andre showed up at the same place as the day before. Oscar was already sitting and waiting, tightly wrapped in her cloak. When she saw him, she got up and took his hand.
- Come on, the sun's almost set - she said simply and led him up to the tower. They still managed to see the last rays lick the trees, and then everything went into purple, and then black.
- It's cold, let's go inside - she suggested.
Right next to the tower was a room filled to the brim with hunting artifacts, with a small sofa and large fireplace over which several weapons hung.
- It was my grandfather's favorite room - Oscar explained, seeing him look around - My father hates hunting, just like me. Nobody comes in here. So we can talk in peace - she smiled slightly.
They lit the fireplace and sat side by side on the soft carpet. Soon flames warmed their cold hands and illuminated their faces, a bit embarrassed.
- Did Rosalie.. today..? - Oscar began hesitantly, she didn't know how to finish her question.
- She did figure it out - he confirmed.
- I am really sorry..
- You have no reason to apologize - he replied firmly.
- Andre, I know you and she.. - she started again, confused.
- It used to be. It's over for me now - he said.
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and made no comment.
- You were weird today. Did something happen? - she decided to change the subject.
- It's Grandma. She had a handful of good advice for me - he said, staring at the flames.
- About what? - asked the woman.
- About you, Oscar. She asked me to leave you alone..
- You're not serious, are you?! - she exclaimed in surprise.
- I am absolutely serious. These are her words. The worst thing about it all, Oscar, is that.. - he hesitated - If you think about it, she's absolutely right. It would be better for both of us if I left immediately.
- What are you talking about, Andre? - she whispered, grabbing his arm, completely confused.
- Oscar, listen to me - he looked at her attentively - You are an amazing person. I.. I have never met anyone as wonderful as you - he grabbed her hands - And I adore you.. So much that you couldn't even imagine. But.. but I'm just a servant, Oscar.. I can't give you anything, provide nothing. I couldn't even marry you if you ever.. - he broke off, confused but then continued - Look at yourself, Oscar. You are noble born. You command the Royal Guards and protect the Queen of France herself. You are.. you are the most beautiful in the world - he touched her cheek gently - And I.. I am nobody, Oscar.. - he concluded, his voice breaking.
Oscar felt her eyes water with tears as emotions began to flood her heart like stormy waves. She took his face in her hands and placed a tender, slow kiss on his lips. Then she looked him in the eye and said seriously:
- You are a wise and intelligent man. Strong and hardworking. Brave. Funny - she smiled - And very handsome too. Don't try to deny it and don't laugh, Andre, because I'm not the only one who notices it! - she added, seeing that he is trying to oppose - You are a valuable man and I absolutely forbid you to talk about yourself as you did a moment ago. The value of a man is not measured by what family he is born into, but by who he really is. Especially since none of us can choose our place of birth. Neither I nor you chose that. Although I have no influence on the world we live in, I make my choices and decisions in this life. And I'm not going to give up on you, Andre! - she finished with a voice broken with emotion.
- Oscar.. - he whispered, grabbing her in his arms and pressing her vigorously against him, and she curled up and pressed her cheek to his chest, trying to contain her tears - Don't cry, Oscar.. - he added after a moment.
She made a muffled sound, something between sobbing and laughing.
- I'm not crying - she said, sniffling – I am a soldier.
He laughed and hugged her even tighter.
- But one thing worries me .. - she sighed.
- Tell me, cherie - he replied, gently pushing the hair back from her face and sinking his fingers into it.
- I'm not an ordinary woman, Andre.. - she said in a sad voice - I have a strange job. I dress like a man. I don't know if I will ever be able to live the life of a normal woman. To give birth to a child.. You deserve to have a real family, Andre. I may never be able to give it to you - she raised her head and looked at his face.
- Oscar - he replied seriously - I will not lie to you that I did not dream of having a family, wife, children. It's so natural to have such desires. However.. I can't imagine my life without you anymore, Oscar. And it scares me.
- It scares you? - she asked surprised.
- Indeed, I am scared and confused – he admitted honestly - I knew from the beginning that what started between us has no future. We should have stopped it earlier. Additionally, my grandmother made me realize that our relationship is simply dangerous for you. And I don't want anything to happen to you, Oscar! And I start to wondering..
Oscar suddenly became scared of what she might still hear. She didn't want to know it.
- Shut up, Grandier! - she hissed, then whispered close to his ear - I don't want to hear a single word anymore.
Andre didn't even have time to protest when she closed his mouth with a fiery kiss. Then she pushed the fabric of his shirt back a little and kissed his bare skin. With trembling fingers, she undid the first button on his shirt, then the second. She looked at him furtively through eyelashes. His gaze darkened, and his chest rose to the beat of his ever-faster breathing. She unfastened one more button, then another. When she finished, her fingers traveled to his shoulders and began to slowly slide the fabric down. He locked her wrists with a sudden gesture.
- Oscar.. what are you doing? - he said breathlessly.
- I want to see you, Andre - she whispered pleading - Please let me do it..
He released her hands and let her do what she wanted, and the shirt was soon placed on the floor. Oscar ran her fingertips over the skin on his arms, then thoughtfully examined the muscles that writhed on his chest and stomach with her fingers.
- As I thought. You are really beautiful - she said, fascinated.
She moved closer to him and did something she had fantasized about for so long. She grabbed the tape that was holding his hair and shook it off, then slipped her fingers into his dark curls, pulled him close, and kissed him very passionately again. At that moment, she felt his hands running down her back, under her shirt. A thrill of pleasure gripped her stomach as those strong, rough fingers caressed her bare skin. Nobody has ever touched her like that.
His hands reached the bands wrapped around her breasts and stopped. Andre moved back a little and looked at the woman's face with a surprised look. She lowered her eyes, embarrassed. His hands moved to the front of his shirt and began to slowly untie the strings. In a moment, Oscar's shirt joined his shirt on the floor, and Andre stared in consternation at the bands pressed tightly against her chest. He said nothing, however, and began methodically untangling them until they fell around her waist. He looked at her with a delighted look, but she didn't see it because unexpectedly she felt embarrassed. This part of her body, the most degraded, hidden, as if having it was the biggest mistake. Unable to help herself, she folded her arms over her chest, covering herself. She felt strange.
Andre immediately sensed her confusion. He picked her shirt off the floor and covered her with it, then hugged her to him.
- Don't be afraid, Oscar - he whispered - I won't do anything you don't want.
He pulled her behind him and lay down on the carpet with her head pressed against his chest. They stayed that long without saying anything.
- I'm sorry, Andre - Oscar said quietly after a moment - The bands.. These bands were meant to give me the illusion that I could be someone who I am not. And so I got used to them that they are like a second skin. When you took them off, I felt naked.. Not on the body but I felt as if you had revealed my soul and I got scared - she moved closer to his face and ran her fingers over his cheek, chin, neck - Do you still want me?
Her fingers traced his chest and stomach. Then she took off her shirt, and pressed her breasts against his bare skin.
- Oscar.. - he sighed heavily - We shouldn't be doing this.. Please.. Be reasonable..
He felt her fingertips stroking the skin on the edge of his pants, and then her hand crept under the fabric. He groaned when he felt her gentle touch on his manhood - Oscar, if you still touch me like that.. I.. - he let out a choked wail and grabbed her hand to stop her. He wrapped his other hand around her back and swung them away with one swift movement. Now she was stretched out on the carpet, and she looked even more enticing with her flushed face and disheveled hair. Unable to help himself, he kissed her passionately, his hands stroking her breasts for the very first time. Then the touch of his hands turned to the heat of his lips, and she let out a soft sob as he ran his tongue over her nipple. The chills in her stomach intensified with every stroke of his tongue, every touch of his fingers. She knew she wanted him like crazy now. The desire to have him inside was stronger than her common sense.
Andre held back with the last of his strength. Her sighs, groans, her touch lit him red, and that thoughtful part of his mind was slowly turning cloudy. The principles he had followed for so long were in ruins. But he was a man, damn it! And she laid there, so submissive, willing and attractive.
However..
He broke away from her, breathing heavily, and sat down beside her.
- Is something wrong, Andre? - she asked, getting up and staring attentively at his face
- Oscar, this is crazy! - he said, trying to make his voice hard, although it was not easy, because lust was still burning inside him like fire - I don't want you to regret something you haven't fully thought through. So that we both don't regret losing control.
The woman sighed and started picking up the shirt from the floor.
- How do you know I'll regret it? - she asked sarcastically - But it might not make sense if we both don't want the same thing.
He stopped her, squeezing her arm.
- You got me wrong, Oscar - he sighed - Are you angry?
- No, I'm not - she shook her head - Maybe a little disappointed. Are you always so perfect?
She smiled and kissed him softly.
- That doesn't sound like a compliment, Oscar - he replied, but laughed.
- I'm bad at these things, honey - she said and gave him a mischievous smile - Come here! - she added and helped him finished buttoning his shirt.
- I think you're pretty good at these things, Oscar - he purred.
She laughed, a little embarrassed.
- Our dinner is surely cold by now - said Andre, glancing at the clock on the mantelpiece - Grandma is going to kill me.
- I left my bedroom window ajar. I'll go over the balcony and pretend to fall asleep - Oscar chuckled - And you'll have to come up with another excuse.
- You cunning beast! - the man lifted her up and kissed her - Then run, I'll be down in a few minutes.
- See you later!
- See you, cherie!