Fantasy

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

Summary: Rivetra Week 2018 Day 4 Prompt

The castle was completely quiet around her and she found herself moving without making any sound, not wanting to disturb the stillness. She could see candlelight as she neared her destination, curious to see who was still awake at this hour. Aside from me.

Levi sat at the table, a steaming cup of tea in front of him. "Petra."

"Captain. Why are you up at this hour, sir?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I felt restless." After a moment of hesitancy, she joined him.

Levi regarded her carefully. "Most people are like that the night before an expedition, not after." She shrugged. "Are you going to be here a while?"

"I'm sorry. If I'm disturbing you, I can leave—"

"That's not what I meant." He stood and went to the cupboards.

"Oh, thank you." Petra placed her fingers around the cup he placed before her, letting the hot tea warm her hands. "You couldn't sleep either?"

"Not tonight."

There was a strange look in his eyes. But she didn't pry, only nodded. She had seen the same expression on other Scouts' faces before. It was a death anniversary. She wondered who he had lost, who he was mourning. They didn't talk for a few minutes after that. It was comfortable. Simply being in his presence was soothing to her. And she wondered if he also felt the same way.

"Have you ever lost anyone? After joining the Corps," Levi clarified.

"Some friends, yes."

"Do you ever regret joining?"

"I've had moments of weakness," she admitted. "When fear or despair was too much and I wondered if I'd made the right choice." Petra was expecting disappoint or disapproval. But his answer took her by surprise.

"So have I."

Her eyes widened. It shouldn't be that surprised. She thought. "Well, we're only human."

Levi sipped his tea. "So, when did you know this was what you wanted?"

"When we were in school and we were learning about Titans," Petra answered, the memory clear in her mind. "I always knew they existed. Everybody did. But it was the first time we really talked about them, you know? And all the misery they've caused."

She could still see herself sitting in class, thinking about the military and all the responsibility, and the self-sacrifice and courage of the soldiers.

"Everything the Titans took from us," she continued, "it was stuck in my head the entire day but the next day, I couldn't believe the other children. They were so...indifferent. They didn't want to see it, didn't want to think about it. They were happy to ignore it and pretend the problem didn't exist. And I realized the adults were the same. But I knew I couldn't live in a fantasy world like them where everything was fine and our very existence wasn't under threat."

Levi stared down into his cup, face blank. "I would have been like those kids when I was their age. Or, I wouldn't have pushed it out of my mind entirely, but jumping into action to eradicate the Titans wouldn't have been my first thought. Or second." He paused, gauging at her. "You don't look surprised."

"A lot of Scouts didn't always know they would end up here."

"They aren't all Humanity's Strongest Soldier."

Petra smiled and said, "No, but." She wondered if she should bring it up. "I heard some rumors about you. About where you're from. I didn't dismiss them but I don't entirely believe them either." She didn't put much stock in gossip. Especially about someone as private as Levi. It was easy to make up things about people when you don't know anything about them.

"What rumors? That I'm from the Underground city below Sina?" Levi said impassively.

"And some about your reputation as a thug." She knew he preferred honesty and likely he wouldn't care much what she thought of him anyway. "And how you challenged the commander's authority when you first joined."

"And that surprises you."

"I'll admit, it does."

"It's true." Levi finished his tea.

"As much as I respect and admire Commander Erwin," she said, grinning, "I think I would have liked to see the look on his face. And you being a rebel," she said almost teasingly. It was almost ludicrous, the idea of her stiff, strict captain refusing to follow orders and annoying the commander.

Levi snorted. Pushing his chair back, he stood. "Clean the cups and go to bed soon. You have chores in the morning."

"Goodnight, Captain." She felt a lot better after talking to him.

Maybe it was her imagination, but she thought she heard him whisper a quiet thank you as he left.

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