BUILDING BRIDGES

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National Eating Disorders Association Helpline: 1-800-931-2237

(Monday-Thursday 9am-9pm, Friday 9am-5pm. All EST time)

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Song of the Chapter: Lookout Low by Twin Peaks

Nothing given matches what I owe you
So rare a joy to be held in your eye
And if on some sudden night I lost you
I'll always be a light of yours in mine

When Annabeth woke up the next morning she spent a very long time staring at her ceiling, watching its color slowly fade from the dark gray of the early morning into yellow as the sun's rays slid into her room. She took a deep breath, thinking through the events of the past day: the dance. Luke. Drew. The Stoll brothers and the hash pen. And Piper and Percy. Percy.

Her heart drummed just at the thought of him, but it was probably just nerves. He was probably still angry at her for the shit she had pulled last night, running off and not telling anyone else where she was. No… Annabeth couldn't like Percy. Even if he made her laugh, if it felt like he had known her longer and better than anyone else, even if she cared so much about his opinion that it made her freak out. No, Annabeth couldn't like Percy. She'd gone on a date with Luke last night, for gods' sake!

Annabeth let out a deep sigh as the thought of Luke crossed her mind. He had texted her at some point after the dance, but she hadn't bothered to look at her phone or reply last night. But she wasn't too worried about what had happened to him, if anything that Drew had said to her last night was any indication.

It surprised Annabeth. She should've been more hurt that Luke had invited her to make Drew jealous. Annoyed and a little angry at being used like that? Definitely. But if the same thing had happened a year ago, maybe even a month ago, Annabeth would have been absolutely heartbroken. If she could say one thing she had learned last night, it was that she did not like Luke at all anymore. Maybe she had liked the boy she had grown up with, but Luke wasn't like that anymore. Now he was the kind of person who liked Drew Tanaka, out of all people.

But Annabeth had greater problems on her mind right now, namely the pancakes from last night. She hated touching her body most of the time, but she held her stomach right now if only to feel how heavy and full the pancakes had made her, if only so she could feel the inevitable ramifications of what she had done last night. Their added weight was something that would live with her forever, unless…

Annabeth didn't need to check the gym schedule, but she did it anyway. She knew there was an hour long HIIT class with Ares this morning at 9 AM, and she also knew that she would be there. Checking the clock, Annabeth got up and began dressing, already thinking about everything that she wasn't going to eat for breakfast.

With each stroke of the bike pedal, Annabeth thought about burning off all that she had eaten last night. But the ride felt unusually difficult today, even though it was the exact same workout she was used to. Her stomach and legs roared at her to stop, but Annabeth did her best trying to keep up with Ares' pace. But it didn't work. Her body couldn't handle the high levels of resistance and fast leg speed, and she barely made it through the second half of the workout.

Annabeth was still angry with herself as she walked home, but she now also had to think about the inevitable questioning her father and Helen were soon to give her about the dance. They had wanted to this morning but she had left so quickly for her spin class they didn't have the chance.

And there was more. She had done so many stupid, stupid things, and today she had to work on patching each of them up. For one, Annabeth still had to figure out what to say to Piper at coffee later, and figure out if Percy would ever talk to her again. And she needed to apologize to Thalia and Leo for being a terrible friend.

But as Annabeth took the stairs double time, she had to set off all those problems and deal with the inevitable Helen assault that would happen as soon as she walked in. And it was worse than she had imagined.

They were having family breakfast. Her dad, Helen, Annabeth, Matthew, and Bobby, all gathered around their little dining room table. Her dad was humming as he made scrambled eggs and flipped pancakes. Annabeth's stomach growled and constricted simultaneously, and for a moment she could've sworn that she was about to vomit, even if the only thing that would've come up was bile.

Helen gave her a huge smile from where she was setting the table. "Annabeth! Wanna get cleaned up and sit down for breakfast?"

Annabeth's voice was barely a croak. "Sure."

Helen gave her a grin. "Awesome. I can't wait to hear about the dance!"

Annabeth nodded and stumbled to her bathroom before cranking up the hot water and stepping into the shower. She could have lasted through their interrogation if it hadn't been like quite this, but now that there was actual food and a real meal in the works… Annabeth took a deep breath and focused on yanking her unruly hair out of its ponytail.

That was something else she had always disliked— her hair. She liked the blonde color, but all she wanted was it to be a little wavy like Piper's, instead of so curly and hard to care for. When Annabeth got out of the shower, with her wet hair clinging to her back, and her dark gray eyes sharp against her skin— pale from the New York winter— she felt like an alien. If only she had been tan.

But Annabeth couldn't delay the inevitable, so she got dressed in loose athletic pants and a blue sweater and went to sit down. They had all been serving themselves, something that Annabeth thanked the gods for. Now she wouldn't have to worry about her father forcing her to eat a pancake.

Annabeth took a huge serving of fruit and a helping of eggs before pouring herself a steaming cup of coffee. Her dad raised his eyebrow. "Sure you don't want a pancake? They're your favorite!"

Annabeth gulped down the 'yes' that wanted to rise out of her. "Uh, I'm OK. I had a snack on my way home from the gym so I'm not super hungry."

Her dad didn't respond with anything more than a quick raise of his eyebrows, but he didn't mention it as Annabeth sat down to eat. Helen chattered away, talking about how beautiful the sun look against the buildings. Annabeth looked out glumly across the street at the old brick buildings surrounding them. She had been so excited when they had moved here because of how beautiful the architecture was, but she didn't like it nearly as much anymore.

Helen was still talking, this time laughing at Matthew as he tried to wipe off maple syrup from where it had dribbled onto his chin. Even her dad was smiling. A beautiful family scene, Annabeth thought, and me on the outside of it.

"So Annabeth," Helen cast her gaze over, "Tell me about the dance last night."

Annabeth wanted to grimace, but she held it back and steeled her features into a calm, vaguely neutral expression. "It was pretty fun."

"Tell me about it! How was Luke?"

Helen wouldn't let up until Annabeth told her at least something. "Well, dinner was OK. I'm not really friends with Luke's friends, but it was still fine. Then we went to the dance and Luke and I danced for a little bit. Then Luke invited me to an afterparty, but I didn't want to go so I got something to eat with Piper, her date Jason, and Percy Jackson. The one I used to go to camp with. Then they dropped me back here." Not a complete lie, but not the whole truth. Annabeth didn't want to know how her dad would have reacted if she casually mentioned hanging out with the Stoll brothers and their hash pen over his morning coffee.

"Oh, Percy Jackson? I remember him," her dad said thoughtfully. "Dark hair?"

Of course, that's the only thing her father picked up on from her entire story. "Yeah. We were friends in middle school."

"Oh, that's nice. Is he still swimming?"

"Yeah."

Helen leaned in closer. "Isn't he really good?"

Annabeth nodded. "Yeah. He's getting recruited by all the top swimming schools. Berkeley, UT Austin, that sort of thing."

"Are you still interested in Berkeley, Annabeth?"

Annabeth's mouth went dry. "I don't know."

"I thought you liked Stanford now," Helen mused, ruffling her eyebrows. "Do they have a good architecture program?"

Alright, Annabeth couldn't have this conversation anymore. Not when it stressed her out so badly she wanted to lock herself up in her room and not come out until her next spin class. Time to change the subject, and quick. "I'm also actually tutoring Percy. In math."

The second Annabeth said it, she regretted it. She wasn't sure why she was hiding things from Helen and her father… but she was, and there were things that she didn't feel they needed to know— Percy being one of them.

"Oh," Helen raised an eyebrow. "How's that going?"

"Good." It would be better if Percy wasn't angry at her.

"That's nice. He was always a sweet kid," her dad mused. "I always thought he had a crush on you."

"Dad!"

"What?" He threw his hands up in mock surrender. "I just like to guess. I always liked him more than Luke, anyway."

"Frederick," Helen hissed.

He looked incredulously at his wife. "What? I'm being honest."

Annabeth bit her lip to stop from laughing. "It's okay Dad. I don't like Luke too much anyway."

Helen raised her eyebrows in interest. "Really?"

Annabeth shrugged. "We're different people. Percy is easier to be friends with," she said, emphasizing the friends part.

Helen leaned back and took a sip of her coffee, eyes flashing. "Alright. Whatever you say."

Breakfast ended quickly enough, and Annabeth was then forced to think about Piper, Percy, and pancakes. Three P's, Annabeth thought. P for Problems.

Piper texted her and they decided to meet up at Blue Hill, a small coffee shop near Goode. When Annabeth got off the subway and walked over, she could already see Piper in the window waving at her. Annabeth tried to smile back, but she was torn between excitement at seeing her friend again and not wanting to lie to her.

Annabeth got an iced tea while Piper was already drinking a hot chocolate and pecking away at a poppy seed muffin. She waved her over to two comfy armchairs with a table between them, and hopped up to hug her before she sat down.

Annabeth gave her a real smile before sitting down and sipping slowly at her drink. Best to drink it slowly so it would last as long as possible. It wasn't long before Piper had started to chatter away about Jason, but Annabeth knew her friend was just trying to make her feel comfortable before she started asking her questions.

"Jason is great," Piper's eyes lit up. "He's really nice, and respectful. He won't do anything unless I tell him it's alright," Piper's eyes flashed with the hidden meaning, "and even then he's really sweet about it. If only he wasn't swimming all the time."

Annabeth grinned. "It's so nice to see you with him instead of one of those dicks like Dylan."

Piper rolled her eyes. "Don't even get me started. I can't believe I actually went on a date with Dylan."

"It was freshman year. Don't be too hard on yourself."

Piper grimaced. "Are you kidding me? Annabeth, you yourself told me it was a bad idea when it happened, and I didn't believe you. Served me right."

Annabeth shrugged. "I am always right about these things, aren't I?"

Piper playfully hit her. "Don't you dare go getting a big head."

They were left with a comfortable silence, but Piper shifted in her seat and leaned in. "Annabeth—"

Annabeth cut her off before she could finish the sentence. "I know. I'll tell you everything," she said, taking a deep breath, preparing herself for the cold, hard lie she was about to tell her best friend. "First of all, I'm really sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry."

"But I am. Thalia was right. I haven't treated you guys very well. I didn't want to agree with what Thalia was saying, so I cut her off. And I haven't seen Leo in weeks. And I wasn't very nice to you either."

Piper leaned back. "We aren't angry about that."

"Thalia is."

Piper sighed. "Maybe, but I know she misses you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Annabeth smiled, relief flooding through her. "Okay. Well, basically what's been happening is—"

Annabeth paused, looking at Piper, who was nodding at her earnestly through sips of her drink. Was she really about to do this? Annabeth could feel the truth hovering at the tip of her tongue.

All I think about is food and exercise and being skinny. And I don't know if it's too much or what's going on at all or if it's too much, but I know that I'm scared.

"My mom has been putting a lot of pressure on me about school and college." As she said this, Annabeth's stomach rumbled. "She's been coming into the city more for business and I always see her and she just constantly reminds me to get my grades up and everything like that."

Piper nodded, and a rush of guilt hit Annabeth. "I'm so sorry, Beth. How's she putting pressure on you?"

Annabeth knew that Piper would have sat there for hours with her, teasing out each and every part of the fake story about her mother. And while it was technically true, it wasn't the real reason. That much Annabeth could admit. So while she answered Piper's questions for a little bit, she changed the subject when she could.

"Is Percy angry at me?"

Piper looked down. Uh oh, Annabeth thought. "Well, I wouldn't say angry." Piper bit her lip and stared right over Annabeth's head. "I mean, I don't really know what's going on in his head besides the stormy expression that's on his face all the time, and Jason won't tell me anything, but I'm pretty in tune with emotions— you know that— and I didn't get the vibe from Percy that he was really angry. More worried. I think he just came across that way."

Piper stopped, looking a little uncomfortable, but Annabeth was hungry to know more. "He was worried about me?"

"Annabeth, when I found him after I saw you in the bathroom and I told him where you went, I've never seen anyone freak out like that. His face, like, turned to stone and he grabbed me and Jason to come help find you. Percy's always kind of scary, Jason teases him that he has resting bitch face— but that's not the point. Sorry. What I'm trying to say is that he probably came across mad, and maybe he was a little angry, but I think that Percy was just really, really worried."

Annabeth furrowed her eyebrows. "But why?"

Piper cast her a look. "Annabeth…"

"What?"

"You were off alone. High for the first time ever late at night in New York. Percy felt responsible for letting that happen."

"He shouldn't. He's not responsible for me."

"I know that Annabeth, and Percy does too, but I don't think he really feels that way," Piper responded, gripping her hot chocolate. "It's just really unlike you, Annabeth. You're not the kind of person to do stuff like that, and I think it scared him."

Annabeth could remember last night. The only reason she'd gotten high in the first place was because Percy didn't want her to. She wanted to be that person, at least for a little bit— the one who got high at the school dance and walked through New York alone because they could. Because maybe that was the kind of person Percy liked to hang out with— someone spontaneous and funny and skinny. But Piper was right. Annabeth wasn't that person. "You're right. That's not who I am," Annabeth said quietly.

Piper was looking at her intently. "Do you know why you did it?"

Annabeth's mouth opened. I'm not who I normally am, Piper. This thing that's going on inside me is changing me. "I wanted to piss off Percy."

Piper smiled. "It worked."

Annabeth spent Sunday doing next to nothing besides homework and a quick online exercise video. If she thought too much about Percy and everything that Piper had said yesterday Annabeth would freak out, so instead she focused on the little things like doing her homework and having a cordial conversation with her father.

The next day at school, Annabeth was horrified at the thought of having to see Percy again. Despite what Piper had said, deep down Annabeth felt like he was angry at her for ruining his Snow Ball, so she planned on avoiding him as much as possible. The other person she really didn't want to see was Luke, since she had forgotten to respond to his text and didn't want to have any conversation with him at all.

But she did need to find two people, namely Thalia and Leo. She owed both of them an apology.

Leo was easy. All Annabeth had to do was ask if he wanted to do homework after school, and he nodded. Even though Annabeth felt awful, Leo wasn't the kind of person to hold a grudge. Thalia, however, would be more difficult.

Eventually during lunch Annabeth found her hanging out with Bianca and Phoebe on the back side of school. Bianca and Phoebe gave her cool glances, but Thalia ignored her completely as Annabeth walked up. Annabeth could have sworn her knees were shaking but she swallowed her fear and walked up to Thalia. "Can I talk to you?"

Thalia gave her a quick once-over. "Sure."

Annabeth gave a quick glance to Bianca and Phoebe, but it was clear they weren't planning on leaving. Alright, fine. "I'm sorry." Best to just get it out there, right?
Thalia raised an eyebrow. "You are." It wasn't a question.

Annabeth nodded. "I'm really, truly sorry. For everything. You're right. I was a bad friend and I wasn't telling you guys everything that was going on. I didn't want to admit it when you told me."

"Alright."

Annabeth's heart dropped. She had been stupid to hope for anything better. Thalia wouldn't forgive or forget. She nodded and turned around, shrugging her shoulders down.

"I'm sorry too."

Annabeth spun around, her eyes wide. No way. "What?"

Thalia grinned. "I'm sorry, Chase."

"You never say sorry."

"I missed you. I'll make an exception.:

Something warm began to form in Annabeth's chest. She couldn't stop the smile from stretching across her face. "Does this mean I'll see you in physics again?"

Thalia frowned. "I forgot I go to that class."

"Well, I better see you there tomorrow morning."

Thalia flashed her a small smile. "Bright and early."

It was all Annabeth could do not to run over to her friend and hug her, but she restrained herself. She gave Thalia a nod. "I'll see you soon."

"Bye Chase."

Annabeth couldn't stop the wide grin stretching across her face as she walked back through the building. She had done it. She had gotten Thalia of all people to forgive her. She'd had to swallow her pride to do it, but maybe that meant… that all this could be fixed. That all she had done wasn't so much of a disaster after all.

Annabeth felt this way for about five seconds before she opened the door, only to see Percy and Rachel Dare coming around the corner, laughing together. Rachel Dare. His ex-girlfriend. His ex-girlfriend who he'd once had a very serious relationship with, now back at their school after she had disappeared for eight months. Dear gods.

Any success Annabeth had just felt leached out of her as she watched them walk towards her down the long hallway. Rachel hadn't noticed her yet, but when Percy did… Annabeth could have sworn his hands tightened into fists and his mouth tightened into a straight line. Percy could hide absolutely nothing when it came to his face, usually. He was just a dead giveaway. And right now he looked absolutely furious— at Annabeth.

All the things that Piper had told her had been a lie. No, Percy just hated Annabeth for ruining his Snow Ball and sending him on a wild goose chase throughout New York City. And now he was back with Rachel, his beautiful ex-girlfriend who everyone loved, and they were probably going to get back together and get married. Or at least that's what Annabeth thought.

Annabeth was about to turn back around, but at that moment Rachel saw her. "Hey Annabeth!" Rachel said brightly, changing the course of her path so Percy had no choice but to follow her, his eyes flashing at Annabeth.

Annabeth put on a neutral expression. "Oh, hey Rachel."

"How are you?"

Annabeth smiled. "I'm fine, Rachel. What are you doing back?"

Rachel waved a hand. "Oh, I'm not coming back. My father pulled me out of Goode and sent me to this awful finishing school called Clarion… but that's not the point. I had a long weekend and I wanted to come back and see how everyone was doing! I asked Percy to show me around." She gave Percy a smile that he didn't return, as he was now staring straight at a spot several feet to Annabeth's left.

"Oh, that's nice," Annabeth said. She couldn't stop the wave of relief that had come over her when Rachel had said she wasn't coming back to Goode, but it barely mattered if Percy hated her. Rachel or no Rachel wouldn't change his feelings about her. Percy probably wasn't looking at her because he was so disgusted.

Just as Rachel was going to say something else, an enormous crowd of freshmen poured through the front door, laughing amongst themselves. Annabeth let herself get swept up, calling out an apology and goodbye to Rachel as she walked down the hallway, pressing her hand over her heart and taking a deep breath. Dear gods.

Annabeth and Leo sat in Whole Foods after school, laughing while Leo tried to make different things out of his plate and utensils. Their homework long cast aside, they had been hanging out for over an hour. Leo had waved on Annabeth's apology the moment she'd tried to tell him, saying that he didn't like to focus on that and Annabeth had been forgiven the moment she had paid for his pizza. Annabeth, of course, had only gotten a black coffee and an apple, which she had long ago nibbled down to its core.

Even though Annabeth felt like Leo had always been closer with Piper, she always enjoyed herself with Leo.

"Don't lie to me Chase. I heard from some very special sources what you spent your Snow Ball doing, and it definitely wasn't cuddling with Castellan under the mistletoe."

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you're happy to know that I wasn't spending all my time cuddling up to Luke."

"I don't care who you cuddle with, Bethie," Leo grinned. "I just happen to hate Castellan. And Piper told me that you and Percy have been having some more interesting interactions."

Damn Piper. Now that she wasn't going to pester Annabeth about dating Percy, she'd gotten someone else to do it for her. "And what exactly did Piper tell you?"

"Piper told me some things. But I think you'll be more interested in knowing what I heard from Percy."

Annabeth sent Leo a look. "What?"

Leo shrugged. "The boys on the swim team talk. It's a locker room thing."

What Annabeth would give to hear one of those conversations... "Percy talks about me?"

Leo grinned. "Did I say that?"

"Leo, you better tell me or I swear to the gods—"

"Maybe I'll tell you if you buy me another piece of pizza."

The thought of having to look at Leo eating pizza again made Annabeth's stomach twist with hunger. "You liar. Quit blackmailing me."

Leo shrugged. "Worth a try."

"Will you please, please tell me?"

"If you answer one question."

"Shoot."

"Okay," Leo said thoughtfully. "Who's the sexiest on the boys swim team?"

And this was the kind of moment where Annabeth wanted to throttle Leo. "That's so easy. Leo Valdez, obviously. Now tell me what Percy says about me."

Leo grinned. "Not so fast. I know I happen to be extremely attractive, but you just told me the wrong answer and we both know it."

"Leo Valdez saying someone is hotter than him? Impossible."

Leo shrugged. "Let's just say I've set aside my superior physical qualities for a brief moment in the interest of a friend."

"What do you want me to say, Leo?"

"I just want to know if you like Jackson or not."

Annabeth recoiled. "What kind of a question is that?"

Leo's face was no longer joking. "Do you?"

Annabeth tried to smile. "How could I like Percy if you're the sexiest boy on the Goode High men's swim team?"

Leo studied her for a moment longer, but he dropped the serious act quickly enough. "Good point, Chase."

Leo walked her to her subway station, where Annabeth gave him a hug. "Thanks Leo. I really am sorry."

"Don't be."

"But I am. I feel like I dropped off the face of the earth without an explanation."

Leo gave her a small smile. Even though he was all jokes on the surface, Annabeth knew what lay underneath. "It's alright Chase. I'm a big boy. I can take it."

Annabeth squeezed his hand. "Bye Leo."

"Bye Bethie."

She wanted to yell at him for that ridiculous nickname, but she didn't, watching him as he turned and walked down the street, disappearing into the masses of people.

If you need help, please contact the following:

National Eating Disorders Association Helpline: 1-800-931-2237

(Monday-Thursday 9am-9pm, Friday 9am-5pm. All EST time)

where-do-i-start-0

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you so much for reading! This is the longest chapter yet, coming in somewhere over 4,000 words. I hope you all are enjoying the development of the story! Thoughts on what Annabeth told Piper? And what's going on with Percy?

I also finally finished out planning the story, and I'm really excited for where it's going to end up. There's definitely a lot more that's about to happen and I hope that you all keep reading to find out:)

Please leave a review or favorite if you enjoyed reading! I would really appreciate it!

Emily