A/N Happy Veteran's Day! I actually have this chapter up at a decent time, that makes me happy. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
I don't wanna die alone, but I don't wanna die at all
-All's Well That Ends, Rainbow Kitten Surprise
Hermione was on her back in the grass, staring up at the night sky. Her fingers traced the constellations she could remember. The grass was soft underneath her and tickled the back of her neck. It was cool despite the heat of the air and she ran the blades through her other hand. Her bare feet slid through the grass in a back and forth motion. She was restless but didn't want to get up. The ground was soft but firm under her and reminded her of her time on the run. It hadn't been the most pleasant time of her life but she had found she enjoyed the ground at her back. She lingered over Orion, tracing the constellation a few times. Orion contained the star Bellatrix was named after, the witch she was currently fascinated with. It was almost an obsession, really. Her thoughts were mostly occupied by the dark witch in some form, she always craved the possessive nearness. Bellatrix's noise quieted her own, made things more bearable. As if summoned by her thoughts, Bellatrix appeared by the reservoir with a crack, looking around before her eyes settled on Hermione's form. A wicked smile appeared on her face as she observed the younger witch quietly. Hermione let her arm fall to the ground next to her, craning her neck to see the ex-Death Eater.
"Is it time?" she asked, trace amounts of hope lacing her words.
"Soon. There's some business we have to take care of first."
"What is it?"
"The entire Wizarding World is wondering what happened. I want you to tell them." Hermione blinked at Bellatrix, mouth set in a tight line. "Don't give me that face, pup."
"Why can't I just tell you?"
"Because I want the world to know that you are mine. Not to worry, I'll be with you the whole time." Bellatrix crouched, gripping Hermione's chin tightly. Her nails made half-moons on the young witch's flesh. It was a move of dominance, but she also needed to cause pain in that moment. Hermione understood better than anyone else, welcomed the pain.
"No. It isn't for them to know." Defiance glittered in Hermione's eyes alongside darkness. She didn't want the world to find out Bellatrix was still alive, was planning to overthrow the Ministry. She would be taken away and Hermione would once again be left to drift in a vast sea of nothingness, craving life but searching for death. She wouldn't go back to that.
"You will tell them what they wish to know," Bellatrix hissed, nails digging harder into Hermione's chin. Her dark eyes were filled with anger and her lip was curled in a snarl.
"They'll take you away if they find out you're still here," Hermione gasped. She wouldn't back down from this, not when it meant her life, too. Just like with Harry and Ron, she had one, and this time, she wouldn't let go so easily. She could feel blood welling where Bellatrix's nails were piercing her chin but she didn't move to wipe it away.
"What are you so afraid of?" Bellatrix asked, eyes searching Hermione's. Her voice was oddly soft and it gave both of them pause. Hermione's hazel eyes swirled with pain, not the good kind, not the kind Bellatrix gave. It was the kind of pain that rotted someone from the inside, that ate away any sense of being. It was the pain that drove Hermione to search for death when she desperately wanted to live. The pain Bellatrix drove away, as Harry and Ron had done before they died. Bellatrix's grip loosened on Hermione's chin as she recognized the pain of being utterly alone, having no one to catch you as you spiraled nearer to Death even as you reached for Life's hands. She had felt it in Azkaban, retreated into insanity to escape the clutches of Death. They both had settled on the edge of a cliff, sheer and high, torn between the siren song of Death and the lullaby of Life. No matter how hard they struggled to reach the embrace of Life, a force drove them away, toward the bottom of the cliff. They were both afraid one day it would be too much and they would let the force carry them away.
"Hermione, I won't let it happen. I'll be the raven perched on your shoulder as you answer their questions," Bellatrix whispered. Her nails were fully removed from Hermione's skin and her hand was resting on her cheek. She had adopted a kneeling position next to the young witch's shoulder, leaning slightly as she looked into Hermione's eyes.
"You used my name."
"Don't get used to it."
"I like it."
"When do you return?" Bellatrix asked, evading the topic. She couldn't explain why she had used Hermione's name, didn't want to think about it too much.
"When I'm better." Hermione wanted to hear her name fall from Bellatrix's lips again, marveled at the effect it had. An immediate calm had settled over her and the noise had stopped the moment Bellatrix said it.
"Let's get you better, then."
"You're staying?" Hermione's tone once again had traces of hope.
"Yes. I can help you more than those soul healers can. They don't understand you like I do." Bellatrix ran her thumb over the nail marks on Hermione's chin. It would have been a loving gesture, had it not been born of a more possessive nature. To Hermione, it was the equivalent. Bellatrix showed emotion differently than other people. She was more vicious in her affections. Hermione recognized it all the same. She belonged to Bellatrix, was reassured of this through bruises, scratches, bite marks. It was exactly what they both needed to embrace their insanity.
Minerva sat in her office, head cradled in her hands. Predawn light shone through the window, illuminating the room in faint streaks. She stared blankly at the desk, at the papers in an organized scatter across it. The repairs to the school were progressing faster than she anticipated and she had been trying to find teachers. Most of the previous ones had returned and she had filled all but one of the empty positions. She also had to appoint a new head of Gryffindor house seeing as she was now permanent Headmistress and could not preside over a house. She wanted to wait until the teaching staff was fully assembled before deciding. It was harder than she thought to fill a position everyone thought cursed. Nearby, the portrait of Albus Dumbledore observed his long-time friend. He placed a jelly bean in his mouth, chewing satisfactorily at the not unpleasant flavor.
"I don't know how you did it, Albus. No one wants to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. I can't just get rid of the course, it's necessary for the students to learn. You filled it every year without fail and I can't even find one person," Minerva lamented, looking to the portrait of her predecessor.
Albus chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "There is always someone, Minerva. You are not asking the right person."
"Well, it would be a lot easier if I knew who the 'right person' was!" Irritation seeped into her tone. She had been struggling to find the last teacher before the repairs were finished and had, so far, come up empty.
"Nonsense, Minerva. You know exactly who she is. You've been debating it for several days now." Albus pulled another jelly bean out of the box, putting it in his mouth and promptly spitting it out. He mumbled something Minerva didn't hear, but she wasn't paying attention to his jelly bean habits.
"I just don't know if she's ready. You should've seen her, Albus. It was heartbreaking."
"I think she's more ready than you realize. You can at least ask her. If she declines, try someone else. Give her a chance, it might be the thing she needs to make the final push to wellness."
"I can't imagine it would be such a thing. That position has been no good for every professor that had it. Maybe I should do away with it." Minerva leaned back in her chair, eyes settling on Albus. He could see the concern swimming in the bright green eyes.
"It is a new age, Minerva. There have been a great many changes in the past year alone. Voldemort and his Death Eaters have been defeated. If anyone can handle it, Hermione can."
"I just don't know, Albus. She's been through so much, I don't want to push her to the breaking point."
"Hermione is not as fragile as you think. You know this, deep down. She is stronger than all of us, I think. I cannot make the decision for you, but I can advise you to at least extend the offer. Everyone knows she is qualified to teach the class even without her N.E.W.T.s." At these times, Albus wished he were still alive so he could better comfort his friend. Words could only help so much. He watched as Minerva nodded slowly, resigned to her option. There were people that would fill the position if Hermione didn't, but he knew it had to be her. He didn't know why, never really did, but he trusted his instincts. Hermione belonged at Hogwarts, always had.
"I hope you're right," she sighed, standing and turning on her heel.
"Me too, Minerva. Me too," he whispered to the empty room.
Minerva appeared on the porch of her island home with a crack. She wasn't positive Hermione would be awake and wanted to respect her boundaries. She knew the young witch needed space and didn't want to intrude, especially if she was still asleep. She knocked on the door soundly, loud enough to wake Hermione if she was asleep but not so loud as to be obnoxious if she wasn't. Minerva stood at the door, waiting for it to open. With every moment it stayed closed, she felt a growing sense of worry. She raised her hand to knock again, halting the motion when she heard footsteps approaching. Turning, she found Hermione standing at the base of porch steps, grass in her sleep-tousled hair and faint smudges of dirt on her face and clothes. A large black raven was perched on her shoulder, talons poking holes in the fabric of Hermione's shirt but not breaking the skin. There were faint marks on Hermione's chin that Minerva presumed were from the bird.
"Minerva, what are you doing here?" Hermione asked, staring at her mentor. Bellatrix was perched on her shoulder, having shifted when they noticed a figure standing on the porch.
"I came to talk. Where did you get that bird?"
"I found her on my walk. Her wing was injured and she fought me a little but I managed to calm her enough to do some healing," Hermione lied, looking steadily at Minerva.
"That's wonderful, Hermione. Are you going to keep her?"
"Only if she stays. I hope she does, it would be nice to have a companion again. Crookshanks has been missing for a while and it might help me if I have something to care for." Hermione ascended the steps, standing next to the Headmistress. She opened the door, gesturing for Minerva to enter first. They sat at the kitchen table, light filtering through the window and reflecting off the dust motes in the air.
"Do you have a name for her?"
"I was thinking Polaris," Hermione said after a moment. Bellatrix nodded approvingly, moving from Hermione's shoulder to the table.
"That's a wonderful name."
"Would you like anything?"
"No, thank you, Hermione." Minerva smiled gently at Hermione. She was surprised when Hermione gave a small, unsure smile back. There were subtle changes in Hermione, indicative of recovery and Minerva felt more comfortable offering her the DADA position.
"What did you want to talk about?"
Minerva hesitated, struggling to form the words she wanted to say. "I know you value your education and want to take your exams, but I would like to offer you the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and Head of House for the Gryffindors."
"Me? For the upcoming school year? I can't possibly be an option, I haven't taken my N.E.W.T.s." Hermione was stunned, even Bellatrix was looking at Minerva in surprise.
"You, for the upcoming school year. I doubt anyone would object to your lack of exams, you are uniquely qualified to teach the course." It went without saying that Hermione's part in the war and status as a hero would override any need for exams. Kingsley had already offered her a place in the Ministry. Bellatrix perched on Hermione's shoulder again, mind spinning with ideas. The action drew Hermione's attention and Bellatrix nodded subtly but forcefully. She knew it was something Hermione wanted to do, but it would also be a benefit to the plan she didn't have yet. Besides, it would be entertaining to torment the students of Hogwarts again.
"Okay. I'll do it."
Minerva hid her surprise. She had expected Hermione to protest or, at the very least, take a few days to think about it. How well did she really know Hermione anymore? "Excellent. There's just the matter of paperwork, but that can wait. I'll speak to Kingsley and let him know, but do you want it to be public knowledge as well?"
"Not yet. If possible, I'd like to keep it secret until I return, at least. I'd still like to have some quiet."
"Of course, Hermione. I must be going now to oversee repairs but I'll bring the paperwork over in a few days." Minerva stood, placing a hand on the shoulder Bellatrix wasn't occupying.
As she removed her hand and made to Apparate, Hermione whispered, "Minerva. Thank you."
"Of course. You are like a daughter to me, Hermione." Minerva smiled, turning on her heel.
Hermione sat at the table, staring out the window. Her chin was in her hand, fingers tracing the nail marks Bellatrix left. Bellatrix hopped off her shoulder and stood behind her, hands digging into Hermione's shoulders. Her dark eyes gleamed with excitement and she felt energy running through her. Hermione's eyes were unfocused she looked without seeing.
"Bellatrix, do you remember what you said to me that day?" Her free hand traced the scar on her arm over the fabric of her sleeve, the shape and form memorized.
"I said a lot of things that day."
"How did you know?"
"Because you fought so hard. I didn't see that you were already just like me," Bellatrix violently whispered in Hermione's ear, digging her nails into the young witch's skin.