Tony and Steve had stayed up all night for days on end when Natasha had colic, both terrified and as miserable as the baby in their arms as they took turns holding her in the bathroom, steam wafting all around them. Teething broke their hearts every time she cut a new tooth and spent days with fever, in pain, and gnawing at anything within her reach.
The first time she had walked from Steve's arms to Tony's without the aid of a steadying hand had made their stomachs jolt with pride, and they'd had a celebration none of their friends had the heart to say was too dramatic. Natasha was an inquisitive child who kept them both constantly terrified when she figured out how to bypass certain baby-proofing measures or when she found her way into any hidey hole imaginable, only to giggle when they located her after hours (or a couple of minutes that seemed like hours, if not days) of frantic searching. And, rather than help the two men teach the intelligently creative child boundaries, Rhodey and Bruce both laughed at them and showed her even more ways to give Tony and Steve heart attacks.
The time she disappeared at the playground, Tony had imagined the very worse-case scenarios about what had happened to his girl, only to hear her squeal as she came down an enclosed slide and he realised it could take only a half a second for his nightmares to come to pass. Steve must have imagined the same things, because he ran to the toddler, picked her up, hugged her tightly to himself, and suggested they go home immediately. Though it sounded like a great idea to Tony, he looked around at all the amused faces of other parents around them, kissed her head, then took her from Steve's arms and set her down, telling her to go play, but only where they could see her. The two men spent the rest of the hour sitting tensely, watching her like a hawk, until a couple of mothers took pity on them and assured them that they would get used to it eventually.
When Tony taught her how to ride a bike and she'd fallen without him holding on, he was ready to rush her to the hospital then and there, even though she had calmed him down and told him it was just a scraped knee. Steve had caught her when she leaped from the tree she'd climbed, and she had simply shrugged and told him she knew he wouldn't let her fall when he loudly scolded her for it.
In preparing for her first father-daughter dance, Natasha and Tony had giggled and twirled around the penthouse excitedly. Then, she got the resolute look on her face both men knew so well, and she set her shoulders and went up to Steve, placing his hands on her waist, and tried in vain to teach him to move fluidly. When he told her it was fine, he wasn't much of a dancer, she looked up at him with those big green eyes he was so powerless to deny and begged him to go to the dance with her and Tony. He sighed and tried to put his feet where she directed, determined to get this right so he wouldn't embarrass her. He spent the week practicing every moment he got (even asking Sam to practice with him, which his friend vehemently refused to do, but he was kind enough to call his fiancée, and Wanda was happy to come over to help, and only laughed a little). The night of the dance, Natasha spent the night giggling and trading off dances between Tony and Steve, who had improved enough he only stepped on her feet twice.
They'd discovered the magical healing powers of cheeseburgers, ice cream, and hot cocoa when Yelena moved away, and she cried for her best friend.
They filmed recitals and tournaments, clapping louder for her than many other parents, much to her pleased embarrassment, when Natasha joined ballet and judo.
When she had her first week-long summer camp away from home, Bruce and Rhodey intervened and sent Tony to a 5-day conference with Frost Industries and Xavier Enterprises, and Janet Pym signed Steve up as an art teacher at the Tower's day-care centre, to ensure both men were sufficiently distracted.
Her first period was a nerve-wrecking, the two men trying to explain something neither had ever experienced in the most straightforward of terms, until Wanda walked in with Emma Frost, who had brought Kitty over for a sleepover. Emma saw what was happening and stopped both men instantly with a raised eyebrow. When Natasha turned to the women and gave them a look that said, "Isn't it cute they're trying?" Emma smiled in amusement, reached her hand out for Natasha, and with a nod of permission from the smirking Tony and a blushing Steve, the four females walked out of the apartment. Wanda called Maria and Emma called Janet, and they all took Natasha and Kitty for a girls' day so the two of them could get some real-life answers to their questions. Natasha came back with a manicure, her hair styled, and light make-up, and suddenly Tony and Steve's nerves were wrecked for entirely different reasons.
When Happy offered to teach her to drive, both men had insisted on being in the car with her the first few times, until Happy took pity on her and rolled up the privacy divider.
Suffice to say, Tony and Steve had spent the majority of Natasha's life in various degrees of worry, anxiety, and hoping for the best.
But this- this was the most terrifying thing they'd faced yet: a sixteen-year-old boy interested in their sixteen-year-old girl.
They should have expected this when she started talking about the various boys in her class in more and more conversations. But she never seemed focused on any specific one whenever she casually brought up the idea of dating. Like when Tony came back from an extended business trip. Or at the opening of another one of Steve's art exhibits. And at the supper table.
On second thought, they should not have been surprised at all.
But a few days ago, she had come home and sighed, getting a day-dreamy look in her eyes both intuitively knew meant trouble. When she said a boy had asked her to the dance in a week, Steve's eyes went wide with panic, and Tony reflexively said, "Absolutely not."
As Natasha's shock slowly began to morph into anger, Steve hold up a hand and indicates he would talk to him. She storms off, muttering under her breath before slamming the door to her room.
Tony scrubs a hand down his face and says, "Yeah. It just came out."
"Do you not want her to go?"
"Of course I don't want her to go. But of course, I also do," Tony sighs. "I just remember what I was doing when I was 16," he reminisces dejectedly.
"You were halfway through university," Steve reminds him dryly. "Besides, she is not you." He continues quickly, ploughing through any latent feelings that statement brings up. "She also isn't dealing with being the smartest kid in the class who everyone underestimates."
"No, she's dealing with being the smartest kid in class who everyone knows is the smartest kid in class." Tony chuckles, then looked toward her room wistfully. "Whose idea was it to let her grow up anyway?" he muses.
"Definitely not mine," Steve agrees, looking toward the locked room where she is probably brooding. "Besides," he huffs, "If we don't say yes, she'll probably figure out a way to sneak out."
Tony snorts.
"She probably already figured out a dozen the second I said no."
They both chuckle in agreement.
Tony knocks on her door a little while later with a bouquet of long-stem yellow roses and lavender tulips.
"So, turns out I don't like the idea of you growing up so much," he confesses, cautiously offering her the bouquet. She stares him down, not reaching for them.
"Yeah. I deserve that," he admits, laying them on her desk. Then he rolls his eyes, and sighs. "Tell me about this boy."
She assesses him, narrowing her eyes, Pepper's eyes, and making him squirm. Once he's sufficiently uncomfortable, she gets up and grabs the bouquet.
"Only if you promise not to background check him," she offers loftily.
"Scouts honour," he promises.
She raises her voice.
"That means you too, Uncle Steve."
Steve snickers nervously as he opens the closed bedroom door, caught out.
"Wouldn't dream of it, Nat."
"Yes, you would," she replies confidently, studying her flowers. Then she looks sideways at Tony.
"It's really okay?"
"We can go shopping tomorrow, if you want."
Her face lights up, and she nods once, biting her lip.
"Now, about this boy," Steve reminds her, indicating she should speak.
She hugs Bucky Badger to her chest and gives him a squeeze.
"Well, his name is Alexei…"
The big night comes, and the compromises Tony and Steve offer Natasha not to background check her date are:
They both meet him before the dance.
She answers her phone if they call, but they promise not to call more than once except if there's an emergency.
She promises to use her Judo should the need arise.
She promises to be home by the agreed-upon time
It is a relatively short list, and it's pared down drastically from the one Tony and Steve originally tried for.
When the poor boy had made his way all the way up to the heavily-fortified penthouse before standing nervously in front of his date's parents, Tony and Steve assess him, then cross their arms at the same time, presenting a (intimidating) united front.
"So, Alexei. This is what you need to know if you're taking out our girl," Steve starts.
After giving the boy their list of expectations, they ask him a few questions, which fortunately, are simply modified versions of the questions they ask every friend of Natasha's. She only has to give Tony a warning look once before Alexei stands up and offers her his hand.
And after taking a few photos, their Natasha is turning and going out on her very first date.
They both hug her before (sincerely) telling both of the teenagers to have fun.
And they are both exceptionally well-behaved and only text her once to settle an argument about bananas.