Criminal

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

Summary: Rivetra Week 2016 Day 3 Prompt

He had been thinking about it over for a week. Levi knew Petra was aware of his past as a criminal. But she didn't know any of the specifics. Hange had asked him if Petra knew—because of course Hange knew the two were sneaking around—and if she did not, when he would tell her. As much as it scared him, Levi knew Hange was right. He had to tell Petra about his past. It would always be a part of him and she had to know. Not every single detail, but he couldn't hold her at arm's length forever. And she deserved to know the kind of man she was with. It's only right.

That night, he stood in his bathroom and splashed cold water on his face, sorting his thoughts and trying not to feel too frantic. Levi quietly left his room and wandered to the other side of the building.

With Petra as the sole female member of the team, it was safer to go to her room rather than having her come over to the men's side. And Levi had pointed out to her, he never slept the entire night. It was easier for him to get up early and go back to his room.

Petra was already comfortable and in bed when he joined her. He greeted her by giving her a light kiss. "Hey." He hadn't seen her the whole day and missed her terribly. "Long day?"

"Hmm."

She's tired. Maybe he should wait until tomorrow. No. Stop making excuses. Tell her tonight. Levi lay on his back, eyes fixed to the ceiling. "Petra, I have to tell you something." He heard her turn over to face him.

"What is it?"

She waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts. "I've been thinking about it for a while now. And I thought you should know. You need to know."

"Okay," she said softly.

"It's a long story. And I don't think I can tell you everything. At least, not yet. Maybe you will know everything one day. I don't know. It was hard enough to decide to tell you this now. Hange said—she knows by the way. I don't know how though. I thought we were being careful but I guess not. That Four-Eyes, she's pretty damn observational." He had to stop droning on and get back on topic. "Anyway, I should stop rambling and get right to the point I guess."

This was it. Levi's heart began to beat faster. He had to tell her now. He knew he'd never feel more prepared. The kind of closeness he desired to have with her couldn't be achieved unless he opened up. He swallowed with difficulty and began.

"You know I was a criminal. And I'm sure you know some of the things I've done. Or you have some idea. I don't want secrets between us. I have to tell you about my past. You have a right to know who I am and what I've done so you know exactly what you're getting into. I guess I should start at the beginning..."

Levi kept going, explaining as much as he could. Sometimes the memories and the emotions choked him but Petra never said a word, letting him say everything he needed to.

It was terrifying for him, making himself so vulnerable to her. But it also took a huge burden off his chest. If she still chose to stay with him after learning about his sordid past, he couldn't even begin to imagine his happiness. And if she didn't, as painful as it would be, he knew in his heart he would one day feel good and proud of the decision, knowing he did the right thing.

Levi didn't know how long it took. He continued until the end of his first expedition.

Then silence fell in the room. His could hear his heart beating against his ribcage.

"Petra?" Levi called out softly, unable to face her. He didn't want to see her look at him with anything but love and acceptance in her eyes. It'd break him if she couldn't.

She kept silent.

"Petra?" Stomach full of butterflies, he turned his head to look at her.

Petra was fast asleep.

It took Levi's brain a few seconds to register the sight before him. He pushed off the bed, leaning on his elbow and taking a closer look at her. Levi couldn't help it. He gaped, mouth hanging slightly open. "Petra?" He waved his hand over her face. "Are you awake?"

Nope. She was out like a light.

"...Are you serious?"

He had opened himself up to her, purposefully leaving himself vulnerable, something he had never done with anyone else. It had not been easy but he had done it, for her. For himself. For them and the future he wanted together. And while he had been pouring his heart out to her, she was off in the land of dreams, completely oblivious.

"When did you fall asleep?"

The unconscious woman gave no reply.

How long had she been out? Levi squinted, thinking. The last thing Petra said was "Okay." He stared at her face. Did she even hear a word I said? Had his ramblings put her to sleep before he even got to the point? With a sigh, he fell back, incredulous. Unbelievable.

Forget saying a word, she hadn't made a sound, he realized. Despite him talking on and on, she hadn't stirred at all. She must have been exhausted.

Petra continued to doze peacefully while he felt incredibly stupid for not noticing. Levi shook his head. He turned to face her completely, moving closer, touching her forehead with his and throwing an arm across her waist. At least it was good practice. After brushing his lips against hers, giving her a light kiss, Levi closed his eyes. But he was still going to get her back for falling asleep on him while he poured his heart and secrets out to her.

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