THREE TIMES THE CONFESSIONAL

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Song of the Chapter: Andromeda by Weyes Blood

Stop calling, it's time to let me be

If you think you can save me

I'd dare you to try

There are a lot of wounds that a woman accumulates (…) That's really hard to bring into a relationship—that is a total relationship killer. It's a lot to ask somebody, of a man especially, to be like, can you please draw me out of my hardened shell and make me soft again?

- Natalie Mering, AKA Weyes Blood, in an interview for for Believer Magazine, talking about the song "Andromeda"

"Do you think she fought with— ah— him?" Leo was whispering to Piper behind his palms, sending discrete looks at Annabeth from across the Whole Foods table.

Snort. Piper, on the other hand, was not trying to be stealthy. "No shit, Sherlock."

"It needed to be said!"

"You already said that. Like, ten times today."

Annabeth sent Piper and Leo a reproachful glare from across the table. "I can hear you, you know."

"Funny you can hear when we're talking about you, but you can't hear when we're talking about Percy." Leo grinned but Annabeth sensed a real interest underneath his lighthearted words. She gave him a look and turned back to her computer, desperately trying to finish up her English essay before the lunch period ended.

Sensing that Annabeth wasn't going to respond, Piper quickly changed the subject. "What're you doing, Annabeth?"

"English essay," Annabeth groaned. "King Lear."

"Isn't that due today? In like, an hour?"

"Yes, and be quiet so I can finish it."

Leo and Piper sent each other another look, and Annabeth finally slammed her computer shut. "What is it?"

"Bethie—"

"Leo."
"I got this, Leo," Piper cut in. "Well, we're just a little worried. You've been acting kinda weird and it's super obvious that something happened between you and Percy," she said gently. "We just wanna know what's going on. Plus, you're obviously stressed, because you always get your assignments done way before their due."

"So insightful," Annabeth said as she opened her laptop back up. "I appreciate the concern guys, I really do. Sorry if I've made you worry." Annabeth paused, trying to think of an appropriate lie— something quicker and simpler than what she told Rachel, that would slide all the missing puzzle pieces from the last several days into place. "Some stuff came up on our date, and we both decided that we aren't really in a place where we can be with someone right now." Annabeth nearly cringed. Could she have seemed any more robotic?

Piper, luckily, forever emotionally in-tune with Annabeth, knew that it was time to move on. "Sorry about that. I get if you don't wanna talk about it, but Leo and I are here, alright?" She gave Leo a quick look, clearly poking him to agree with her.

But Leo wasn't going to give in that easily. He gave Annabeth a once over with unusually serious eyes before he went back to trying to steal Piper's pizza. Annabeth couldn't prevent the sigh of relief when her friends finally gave up. Just a single mention of Percy caused her stomach to twist uncontrollably. But hopefully they had just bought her lie… just like how she had been lying for months on end before.

Maybe, Annabeth thought as she slid into her desk in APUSH, I should have considered a career as an actress. She certainly did a decent job hiding the powerful emotions that swept through her every time she saw Percy in the hallway. If he was talking to Jason or opening his locker or (god forbid) talking to some other pretty girl, Annabeth was swept with such a feeling of guilt she had to turn away from him as quickly as possible.

After her conversation with Rachel, Annabeth had known what she needed to do: apologize to Percy. She didn't know what she was going to do about the rules. She had gotten rid of them and shoved any other evidence of her "habits" (as she now referred to them) far underneath her bed. But beyond the things she wasn't ready to think about, she knew that she needed to lose the pride and say sorry, at least as a first step. She had walked back into Goode on the Monday after visiting the Met with a well-written out plan, terrified but ready to say sorry. It was the first step to redemption, even if Annabeth wasn't ready to think about what redemption looked like yet.

But the moment she saw him in the hallway, all of that fell apart.

With just one look at him against a wall, that dark look on his face and headphones stuffed in his ears, Annabeth was back in her room, and Percy was clutching the rules high above her head, accusing her of things she could barely say aloud. Annabeth's stomach and lungs seized up, and she let out a shaky breath.

No. No. No. She sprinted into the nearest bathroom and didn't leave until the passing period ended and she was several minutes late to Physics. Thalia, luckily, didn't ask questions because she didn't even show up to class, so Annabeth spent the entire period shakily writing down notes and blinking back the tears peppering her eyes.

He made her freeze. Part of it was the complete disregard he now seemed to hold for her. Anger or hate would've been preferable to this new distance created between them. She hadn't seen him once on the subway, and he now walked straight through the hallways, refusing to look at Annabeth. Precious time in Annabeth's head that should've been devoted to calorie counts and meal plans was taken up by thoughts of Percy and her failed apologies.

Barely paying attention to her teacher, Annabeth held her hand up in front of her face, only to see it slightly shaking. She hadn't eaten enough at lunch and she knew it. If only Percy could see it… she could hear him in her head at every meal time, chastising her for her choices and portions. Annabeth wanted to chase away her guilt at what she had said, but dealing with food? She didn't know if she was ready.

Annabeth had never been emotional, and she felt almost more surprised than sad at the single tear rolling down her face as Percy flit into her head.

On Thursday, Annabeth and Piper had plans to hang out after school. While Annabeth waited for Piper to say goodbye to Jason, she sat on a bench at the front of school and watched the wind whip trash down the street in front of Goode High. Headphones in her ears, she wasn't paying much attention to anything until Piper and Jason walked over.

Annabeth pulled her headphones out, pausing the song on her phone. "Ready to get going?"

"Yes… in a minute. Annabeth, Jason's mom is out of town tomorrow and he's having some people over at his place. You'll come, right?"

Annabeth was a little surprised, because Jason Grace had never been the type to throw parties. "Sure. Who all will be there?"

Piper cast a quick glance towards Jason. "Uh, some of Jason's friends. Leo, Thalia, that sort of thing."

Annabeth didn't need the awkward look from Piper to understand that Percy would definitely be invited. Despite the twinge in her stomach, she smiled anyway, looking into Piper's eyes, clearly begging her to be there tomorrow night. "I'll be there."

"Annabeth, your mother is coming into town this weekend, and she made dinner reservations for the two of you tomorrow night," her father said as he pulled the roast chicken and brussels sprouts from the oven. "Seven PM."

Annabeth looked up from her book. "Oh." The thought of seeing her mother twisted her stomach slightly, and Percy's words once again echoed in her head. "Piper's boyfriend is having a party and I was planning on going."

Her dad raised his eyebrows at her. "I don't think she can reschedule, honey."

"I know."

"So I'll tell her you'll be there."

"Whatever," Annabeth said, standing up and walking to her room. She heard her dad sigh, and Helen's soothing words, and Annabeth slammed her door.

When she walked into the Italian restaurant Athena had selected, Annabeth wasn't surprised to see her mother sitting at a window table for two, in a classic work dress and heels. She was looking at her phone, but Annabeth noticed all of the waiters in white button ups gave the table a wide berth.

Subconsciously tucking a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear, Annabeth wished she had put slightly more effort into her outfit. Her typical black dress had a stain on the collar, so Annabeth had kept her high waisted jeans on and changed her Goode High sweatshirt for a gray sweater. She was the only person in denim in the entire restaurant.

"Hey, Mom," Annabeth walked quickly over to Athena's table.

Athena looked up from her phone a second after sending a text. "Hey, honey." She cast a quick glance over Annabeth's outfit and Annabeth watched Athena's eyebrows raise for a split second. "Thanks for coming tonight. I know your father said you had a party you wanted to go to."

The bitterness that had been lingering in Annabeth's mouth threatened to lash out at her mother, but she held it back as she took her seat. "It's not a big deal. I don't get to see you very often, so…"

Athena smiled at Annabeth, but showed no teeth. "How's school?"

And it just circles back around to this again.

The waiter finally interrupted them during Athena's long winded explanation of a conference she had just attended in Zurich. Disinterested as Annabeth wanted to be, she couldn't deny she was a little jealous of her mother's high-powered, albeit lonely, corporate life.

"So on the third day— oh, do you know what you want to eat honey?"

Annabeth had not yet looked at the menu. Percy was once again whispering in her head, daring her to order the meals she knew she would find: spaghetti and meatballs, carbonara, chicken parmesan. "Um, just one second."

"Sure. I'll have the Seasonal Salad with the dressing on the side," Athena said, without smiling at the waiter, and nodding imperceptibly towards Annabeth to hurry up and get her order in, so the dinner could be over sooner for both of them.

But Annabeth's head was already caught up calculating the caloric values and nutritional quality of each item scattering the two page menu, while her voice and Percy's voice waged a war in her head.

Get the spaghetti. Who cares?

I care, because it's probably well over a thousand calories and mostly butter.

You never eat spaghetti and meatballs.

I just told you why!

"Annabeth? What do you want, sweetheart?"

Annabeth wished Athena would shut up with the pet names. She only used them to bridge the gap of their shattered relationship. Hurriedly scanning the menu, Annabeth picked the first thing that wasn't a salad. "I'll take the margherita pizza, thank you."

Athena once again raised her eyebrows while she sipped at her water, but Annabeth didn't care. For once, the voice of Percy in her head was finally pleased, even though Annabeth was already swimming in regret. But for once, a pleased feeling swept her body. Had she just ordered something she actually wanted, instead of what she thought she should eat?

Her brief feeling of satisfaction left her with a single glance at her mother: Athena's thin, perfect wrist delicately holding her glass of red wine, her lithe legs neatly tucked beneath her chair, her graceful neck inclined towards the window. Even then, the Percy in her head muttered for her to shut up. Annabeth took a deep breath and tried to smile.

"Do you still talk to Luke, Annabeth?"

"Luke Castellan? Oh. Not much," Annabeth muttered. "We went to a dance together but nothing really happened."

As expected, her mother cared little for this fact. "Does he know where he's going to college?"

"I don't know. We don't really talk." It came out more aggressive than Annabeth intended, but she didn't really care. It was so easy to be annoyed by everything about her mother: her perfect hair, outfit, and diet, the way she always chose the right restaurant and only talked about herself or Annabeth's college plans.

Once again, her mother raised her eyebrows. "Something happen at the dance?"

The memory of the Snow Ball felt so far away to Annabeth, but whenever she thought about it, it was not of Luke but of seeing Percy behind the school. He had been so angry at her that night— but likely nowhere near as angry as he was now. "Not really. We just aren't right for each other. Plus," she shrugged, "He's going to college, so he's leaving soon anyway."

Athena nodded. "Any more thoughts on college for you, Annabeth?"

"Uh. No, not really."

"You know, I think you might really like Stanford."

I know you think that. You tell me every time I see you. "Really? Why?'

"Well, it's close to me. You could come home whenever you want. Plus, I have connections at their Architectural Design program, and I'm sure they'd be happy to help you out."

"Oh."

Athena frowned. "Why are you so passive about this Annabeth? I thought you would be more excited. Stanford is your dream school."

Annabeth refused to let any of her angry words escape her, so she clenched her hands and tried to neutralize her face. "I don't know. I haven't been thinking about college too much. I've been pretty focused on stuff… here."

Athena pursed her lips. "I want to talk to you about that, Annabeth. Every time I see you, you seem quite distracted. I know we both agree that it's important to stay focused on your studies and your college plans, and I want to open up an option for you."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't mentioned this to your father, because I think it would be best if he heard it from you. Annabeth, I think you should consider moving back to California for your senior year of high school."

Her mouth wide open, Annabeth could hear the blood pumping in her head. Was her mother honestly this delusional? How could she possibly think Annabeth wanted to return to San Francisco and relive the worst year of her entire life? "I… what?" she said stupidly.

Athena seemed to take Annabeth's confusion as excitement, and suddenly started speaking very quickly. "Well, you would move in with me, obviously. And go to the same school that you did in eighth grade. It's a little hard to get in so late, but I know they would make an exception for my name. Annabeth, you'd have access to top college counselors, essay writers, test prep! Any class you want, top internships, opportunities for international study! You name it, you would get it. Plus, you wouldn't have to deal with everything that's going on in New York, with your father and Helen and her boys."

Annabeth's shock had suddenly been replaced by anger. How could her mother possibly think that she wanted to return to San Francisco? Return to that awful school and those awful girls, and the private driver, and the diet plans? How could she? Her life in New York certainly wasn't ideal, but at least she had a measure of freedom compared to the military watch of her mother she'd feel in San Francisco.

But as Annabeth started to think through it, a pit formed deep in her stomach. Without trying, she had started to replicate her mother's life anyway. She didn't need her mother's diet plans because she ate that way anyways. She pushed away all her close friends and family. Her life was based on a materialistic goal, to lose the weight, or get straight As, or snag the promotion, rather than to love and be loved by those around her. Annabeth drew in a shaky breath.

She would never, ever return to San Francisco. She wouldn't let her mother change who she was. This person, obsessed with weight and calories and ingredients, wasn't who she was.

But just as Annabeth opened her mouth to respond, to tell her mother just exactly why she would never return to San Francisco, the waiter arrived with their food. "Here is the salad and margherita pizza, will you ladies be needing anything else thus far?"

"No, thank you," Athena said smoothly, and watched the waiter go before she picked up the dressing she had requested on the side. With a quick glance at the oil glistening on the surface of Annabeth's pizza, Athena carefully poured a small drizzle of dressing onto her salad. "You must be careful at restaurants like this, Annabeth. You never really know what they put in their food, especially fatty things like dressing." She let out at a small laugh. "So, what do you think about coming to San Francisco?"

But at the word fatty, Annabeth's entire demeanor changed. The cool clarity she had felt about not returning to San Francisco had turned into a sharp, concentrated anger. "No."

Athena looked at Annabeth with surprise. "Excuse me?"

"No. I'm not going to San Francisco."

Athena set down her fork and straightened up in her seat. "Annabeth—"

"No. For once in my life, let me talk!" Annabeth's voice cracked, but she refused to let Athena see any semblance of her weakness. "I'm not going back there. I'm not going back to where you made me like— like this! Obsessed with calories and ingredients and my weight! I can't look at anything without wondering how fat it will make me in my head!" Annabeth let out a sharp gasp of air. She knew her voice was steadily rising and that she was drawing attention from surrounding tables, but she couldn't care less. All that mattered was the look of shock on her mother's face and the feeling in Annabeth's body when she realized she was finally telling the truth.

"I'm not going there! I'm not going back to your diet and your personal trainer and your private driver. That isn't who I want to be. That isn't who I should be. And you did this to me! YOU DID THIS!" Annabeth knew she was shouting, but she didn't care. "How could you do this to me?"

Before Athena could see her cry, Annabeth took a slice of pizza, grabbed her jacket, and ran out of the restaurant.

She knew she was crying but barely felt it against the cool night air. She knew she was attracting looks from the New Yorkers on the street but Annabeth charged right past them, never looking back at the door of the restaurant swinging shut or the single tear on Athena's cheek, or the fifty dollar bill she slammed on the table before running out after her daughter. But Annabeth had already disappeared into the nearest subway station, and Athena was left searching in a crowded, dark night.

Annabeth had always been good with directions, but even she was surprised that she managed to make it to Jason's apartment. She had drawn a few curious looks on the subway ride over, but there were always more interesting things than crying teenage girls to look at in New York City and she had been left alone.

The Grace siblings lived close to Central Park in a gorgeous high-rise apartment, funded entirely by their wealthy, distant father. Annabeth had only visited once before as a freshman, but she had been struck by the declining state of Beryl Grace, former TV starlet, even then. If the offhanded comments of Thalia were anything to go off of, she had only gotten worse. Annabeth knew both Thalia and Jason lived for the weekends that their mother was out of town, but she was still surprised that Jason Grace, ever Mr. Perfect, had agreed to host a party. But Annabeth didn't care. She didn't want to go home and see her father, and she certainly didn't want to go back to the restaurant. She had been ignoring the calls her parents had been sending to her phone. Luckily, she had somewhere to be.

The subway stop was a few blocks away from Thalia's building, and when Annabeth emerged from the underground system she found New York in a near-downpour. Annabeth barely cared as she marched through the streets towards their home. When she turned the corner she called Piper to buzz her in.

"Annabeth?" Piper's voice was loud, and Annabeth could hear voices and music through the call. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm outside. Can you get someone to buzz me in?"

"I thought you were at dinner with your mom!"

"I was. Something happened."

"I'll be right down."

Piper ended the call immediately and Annabeth sagged against the side of the window. She wasn't sure if coming here had been a good idea at all, but it was certainly preferable to seeing her mother. Even if Percy was probably inside.

Fuck. Percy. The little voice of Percy had been quiet inside her head ever since she had left the restaurant, but Annabeth felt its cool "I told you so." But before she could dwell too much on her former fling, Piper stepped outside.

"Oh my God, Annabeth, let's get you inside. You're drenched. Did you come here through the sewers or something?"

Annabeth let out a breathy laugh. "Something like that."

"What happened?"
Annabeth shook her head. "I'll tell you later. Kinda just wanna distract myself right now."

Piper looked suspicious but didn't say anything as she led Annabeth up to Jason's floor.

Annabeth was very grateful for Thalia, who never asked questions. She had taken one look at Annabeth dripping water in her apartment and immediately grabbed her some clothes to change into. Normally, Annabeth would have felt uncomfortable in just a tank top and denim shorts, but Piper insisted she wear her knit cardigan to warm up. With her hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, Annabeth tried to calm herself down as she sat on the counter in Thalia's kitchen and sipped on a spiked seltzer.

It was a fair mix of kids from Goode— swimmers from Jason's team, some of Thalia's friends, and lots of other people Annabeth knew. Luckily, none of Luke or his friends, but Annabeth knew that Percy was in the living room sipping a beer and laughing with the Stoll brothers. She had glimpsed him from her spot in the kitchen, but she doubted he knew of her arrival. The Percy-in-her-head had gone silent with the proximity of the real thing, but Annabeth was grateful it had shut up for at least a moment.

Piper stared at her critically from across the kitchen, and Annabeth offered her a small smile. "You good, Annabeth?" Damn her emotionally in-tune friends.

"I'm fine." Annabeth was ready to twist some lie, just like she always did, but something held her back. She felt like being honest tonight. "My mom wanted me to move to San Francisco. I said no. We argued and I walked out."

Piper's mouth dropped open. "What?! Why? Didn't you hate it?"

"I hated it. I hated every second of it."

"Why did she want you to go?"

"She thinks I'm not focused enough on my studies."

Piper scoffed. "Annabeth, you work the hardest out of anyone in our grade. Is she delusional?"

"Probably. Can we talk about it tomorrow, Piper? I kinda don't want to think about it right now," Annabeth said. She slipped off the counter and grabbed a second seltzer, having long before finished her first one.

"Of course. I hope you have fun, Annie."

Annabeth smiled a little at the nickname. "Is Leo here?"

"Yeah, he's in the living room. You should go say hi, he was hoping you'd come."

The living room, where Percy was. Fat chance. "Maybe in a little bit."

Annabeth could tell from the glint in Piper's eyes that she knew exactly why Annabeth was avoiding the living room, but luckily her friend didn't mention it. "I'm going to go find Jason. I'll tell Leo that you're here."

Annabeth took a long drink of seltzer and turned towards the window. It had long ago faded to black outside, but a small kernel of hope formed in Annabeth's chest when she thought of the shorter nights and longer days that came each summer. It reminded her of camp and the nights she, Percy, and Grover used to have each year. She stared absentmindedly out the window as she sipped on her seltzer.

"Annabeth?"

No.

Annabeth turned around slowly towards the voice, hoping she was wrong about its source. But she would have recognized it anywhere. Percy Jackson stood across from her, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans. Having been apart, Annabeth could not possibly have forgotten how tall he was, or the darkness of his hair, or how his skin always seemed tan, even in the winter. But seeing him felt like a breath of much-needed air, and Annabeth let out a shaky exhale.

He took a step towards her. "Can we talk?"

The fight or flight response checked in and Annabeth's chest seized. "I have to go to the bathroom." The single moment of relief the sight of Percy had given her disappeared as the anxiety once again swept in. She had already had one confrontation tonight. She wasn't ready for Percy to say "I told you so" in person, and not just in her head.

But Percy blocked the door with his annoyingly broad shoulders. "I really think we should talk."

The tears once again kindled in Annabeth's eyes. She tried to wipe them away, but Percy noticed, and basically jumped aside to let her pass. "Oh god, Annabeth, are you okay?"

Annabeth almost smiled when she remembered how terrible Percy was with crying girls, but she didn't say anything and instead fled into Thalia's room, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.

Annabeth had been sitting in Thalia's bathroom for the better part of an hour when the knocking began. She was honestly surprised that Percy had let her go for this long.

"Annabeth? I know you're in there. Do you wanna come out so we can talk?"

"Annabeth, please. I know you're upset about something. I can listen. I'm sorry. I'm really bad with crying girls." She smiled at that one.

"Come on, Annabeth."

"Seriously. I'm not leaving."

"Please?"

Annabeth didn't know what possessed her to do it, but she opened the door.

Percy, hand raised mid-knock, looked surprised and he lowered his hand hurriedly before running a hand through his hair. "Oh. Hi."

Annabeth knew she looked terrible, her eyes red and her face blotchy, but she couldn't help but laugh at his awkward greeting. "Hi Percy."

He peered behind her into the bathroom. "You've been in there for a while."

Annabeth nodded, scared if she said anything a sob would come out.

"Wanna sit on the balcony?" Percy asked, gesturing outside to Thalia's personal deck. It was yet another gift from the father she hated.

Annabeth couldn't hold it in anymore. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Do I need a reason to be nice to you?'
"When I said the things I said to you, yes, you do."

A small, sad smile spread across Percy's face. "Don't worry about it. Let's go outside."

Annabeth was still suspicious, but she followed him anyway. The balcony had an overhang, so it had stayed dry while the rain fell just a few feet away from them. Percy sat in one of the armchairs and gestured for Annabeth to join him in the other. The fresh air felt good upon her flushed skin, but it was cold, and she rubbed her legs, now covered with goosebumps.

Percy noticed instantly. "Cold?"

"Yeah, but—"

"I'll grab you a blanket."

Annabeth frowned, but Percy had already disappeared back into Thalia's room. She stared out at the twinkling lights of New York City until he reappeared with a plush gray blanket. "I only found one. Is it OK if we share?"

"Sure," Annabeth tried to act as if sharing a blanket with Percy didn't spike her heart rate. She pushed her chair closer to his and tucked her legs beneath her as they sat down, comfortably laying the blanket over both of them. She could feel his body heat from just a half foot away.

Neither of them spoke for a few moments as they watched the rain slowly dim to a drizzle. As the music changed inside to an upbeat song with a heavy bass, Percy finally spoke. "I'm so sorry, Annabeth."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for."
"Yes, I do. Are you kidding me? Of course I do."

"Percy—"

"No, Annabeth. Just let me speak for a minute."

Annabeth was strongly reminded of how she had acted a few hours ago with her mother, but she bit her lip and let it go.

"I fucked up. I'm so sorry," Percy said, wringing his hands together worriedly. "I don't really know where to start, honestly. After we argued, I was so, so mad. And I let that get in the way of what was actually important."

"What's so important?"

"You need help, Annabeth. And I knew what your problem was, and instead of being there for you and trying to figure it out, I left. And I should have swallowed my pride and gotten over it, but I just didn't. This entire week I've been trying to talk to you but I never could, and then I saw you tonight and you just looked so upset…" Percy trailed off and looked at her sheepishly, and all of his sure words trailed off. He was just an awkward teenage boy. A cute and well-meaning and awkward teenage boy.

Annabeth felt the tears prick at her eyes again, but she took a deep breath and held them back. "Thank you, but I should really be the one apologizing. I said some awful, awful things, because I was angry and I didn't know what I was doing, and I was hurt. And I wanted to hurt you how you had hurt me."

"But I abandoned you when you needed help."

"I don't think we should be playing the blame game."

"But don't you see?" Percy said, sitting up straight in his chair and looking at her with a fiery intensity. "Annabeth, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows what's going on with you, even if you won't admit it. If something happened to you because of this thing, and I hadn't done anything about it, it would be my fault."
"You're reading into it too much."

"Annabeth, just listen to me. Please. I'm sorry. I'm here."

He wasn't going to budge anytime soon. Annabeth closed her eyes, and even though her pride roared at her not to, she took a deep breath and said "I know you are. Thank you."

Percy was quiet. "I'm not leaving."

Annabeth's breath caught in her throat. "Percy."

"Annabeth, I'm not. I don't care what you think you need. I have to be here for you right now."

"You aren't the only one who knows."

"I— what?!"

"I told my mom. Tonight at dinner. We got in a pretty bad fight, actually. I kinda implied that she was the one who got the problem started." Annabeth liked how they danced around it, calling it her problem and nothing else. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

"How did she start it? You don't have to tell me, obviously," Percy said quickly.

"No, it's fine. You remember my year in San Francisco? I hated it for more than one reason," Annabeth absentmindedly shifted so her legs now stretched out over Percy's lap. "My mom… she's pretty health-minded in a way that was pretty poisonous for an eighth grade girl."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Thank you for telling me. You didn't have to."

Annabeth couldn't say anything back, but she felt the tears rolling slowly down her cheeks. Percy could too, apparently. "Do you wanna, uh, go back in?" he asked.

Annabeth nodded. She lifted her legs off of his lap and stood up, while Percy wrapped the blanket around her. Standing, they were closer than Annabeth realized.

Percy gazed down at her and wiped one of the tears away from her cheek. "There," he whispered.

Annabeth pressed her lips together before smiling up at him. She had not felt this grateful in a while. Suddenly, she was filled with the overwhelming urge… "Can I kiss you?"

"What?" Percy's eyes were wide. "Are you sure?"

Annabeth took it as a yes and stood up on her tiptoes, pressing her lips softly to Percy's while she wrapped her arms around his chest. The blanket fell to the floor as he melted back into her, wrists securely around her waist and his lips moving gently against hers, like he thought she might break.

It was fine at first. But suddenly, as Percy's arms held her a little tighter, Annabeth couldn't do it anymore. One minute, it felt good, and it was just like being back at Paul and Sally's wedding, and the next Annabeth was standing in front of her mirror, on the scale, wondering how on earth Percy could find her attractive. She stumbled back.

Percy looked shocked. "Annabeth? Are you okay?"

She took a deep breath. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't say it. But she had to. "Percy. I can't do this."
His voice was so, so quiet. "What do you mean?"

"I can't be with you."

"Why not?"

Annabeth was crying again now, and she sunk down to the floor, wrapping the blanket around her again. Percy stooped down and tried to reach for her, but she shook her head. "I don't know if I can say it."

"You have to tell me." Percy was desperate now, crouched down on the floor. His hands were trembling at his sides.

"Percy, whenever I'm with you, all I think about is how I look," Annabeth was crying now, her head held in her hands. "I like you. I like you so much it scares me. I love how you laugh and how tired you are in the morning. I love your obsession with blue things and how much you love swimming and how much you love your mom. I love that you make me laugh and how happy I am when I'm around you."

"Then what's the problem? I don't understand."

"There's nothing wrong with you. There's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with the way I look at myself Percy, and I've gotten you involved in it," Annabet's voice was strong, but her body was shaking. "Whenever we kiss, I can't stop thinking about how I look. I can't stop thinking about how unattractive you think I am, and I just don't understand why you want to be with someone who looks like me when you have so many other options. It doesn't make any sense. I can't be with you when I think like that. And I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

She couldn't speak. Annabeth shook into the blanket as she watched Percy, frozen in front of her, his lips in a tight, white line. He stood slowly.

"Please," Annabeth said. "Say something."

Percy shook his head. "I need… to go."

Annabeth's heart sunk to the pit of her stomach. Everything she had said was true, but she couldn't have expected it to be like this. Nothing could have prepared her for the hollow look in Percy's eyes. She tried to stand up, to reach for him, but he had already turned around, rushed back out of the room and back into the party, and Annabeth sunk back into the gray blanket and sobbed.

"Annabeth?"

Annabeth looked up from her hands to see the door slightly ajar. "Piper?"

"Percy told me I should come out here. He just left. He looked pretty upset. Did something happen?" Her voice was so quiet, a sharp contrast to the voices of the party behind her.

"Piper, I haven't been honest with you. For a really long time," Annabeth said quietly.

"I know."

Annabeth felt a sob start to burst out of her chest at her friend's simple words, but she held it back. "You did?"

"I was just waiting for you to come to me, Annabeth. Did I wait too long?"

"No," Annabeth shook her head. "No, you didn't. I need to tell you something that I've never told anyone before." She took a deep breath. She had never, ever said it out loud. But somehow, the losses of her mother and Percy raw, her eyes cried out, Annabeth knew that it was finally time.

"Piper, I think I have an eating disorder."

If you need help, please contact the following:

National Eating Disorders Association Helpline: 1-800-931-2237

(Monday-Thursday 9am-9pm, Friday 9am-5pm. All EST time)

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I have a ton to say in this author's note, so I'm just going to do it in a list:

1. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE listen to the song for this chapter. Not only do I think it fits the chapter very, very well, but it's also just extremely beautiful and I bet you'll enjoy it. Secondly, if you have time, read the Genius Lyrics page for the song! That's where I found the quote from the artist that I put at the beginning of the chapter. It's also kinda cool because the song is all about Greek mythology and the story of Andromeda, so check it out!

2. If you are going through or recovering from an eating disorder during quarantine, my heart reaches out for you. Please, please try and shut out the jokes you may see on social media about people gaining weight and eating all the time. I understand how difficult that may be for some of you to see others trivialize something that is so difficult to deal with. Remember, your journey is about progress, and not perfection. You'll have good days and bad days, but recovery is so worth it. Reach out to the Eating Disorder Hotline (number at the beginning and end of every chapter) if you need help. I'm not a trained professional in any sense of the word, but my PMs are always open.

3. I know the wait for this chapter was ridiculous, and I apologize for that. Truly, quarantine has been very up and down for me, as I'm sure that many of you can relate to, and it's hard to be productive. Strangely, it's easier for me to write when I have other responsibilities. But when I say that I truly loved writing this chapter, I mean it. I've been thinking about this chapter for a long time and I'm happy with how it came out. I hope you can say the same.

4. I know many of you are probably disappointed to not see more happy Percabeth in this chapter. However, this is always how I have seen the story going. Percy doesn't get to fix Annabeth in this story. That's something she has to do herself. He's a part of it, but as this story is very Annabeth-centric, I think it would be a disservice to her character to let herself be taken over by Percy.

5. That being said, Percy and Percabeth are not over. Don't worry. Remember, both stories and relationships are marathons, not sprints.

I think I covered everything. Much love to all of you, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. This is by far the longest chapter (and author's note) I've ever written, oops. Once again, my PMs are always open, and I would love to see more reviews with your thoughts.

- Emily

(P.S. I cried a little when Annabeth was telling Percy why she couldn't be with him.)