A/N: Alright, first thing's first. For those of you who were wondering how I came up with the name Kazufuhei (icegirljenni) . . . I just made it up. I literally threw a few Japanese sounding syllables together until I came to a word that I liked. But I did look up what the meanings of those syllables meant after I saw your reviews so: kazu means harmony or one; fu means symbol, tally or magic figure and hei means black. Kinda funny how that worked out huh?

I don't really know how you guys are going to respond to this chapter, but I felt that it needed to be done. I felt the need to expand on Rin's character and give her some depth. It's very difficult for me to get inside Rin's head, and I still don't know if I accomplished my goal but . . .

Just to clarify one thing, this one shot is describing what has happened in the two years that Rin had been with Sesshomaru. I kinda felt that that's not clear in the story.

Well, I'm going to stop talking now and let you get to the story. As always thank you to those who have reviewed you make my day, and I hope that you will enjoy and review.

I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.

It had been a little over two years since Rin had been back under Lord Sesshomaru's care. He had come for her shortly after the hot spring incident. The day he had come back for her had been one of the happiest of her life; she was going to be with her family again.

Rin had expected to be taken to the castle in the clouds, and was very surprised to hear that that was not their destination. Instead they would be staying at one of the many estates that Sesshomaru owned.

Sesshomaru had chosen a house that was situated between two mountains, with a huge lake at its rear and a large meadow in front of it. The routes for attacking the estate were very limited and very visible, which made it ideal for his purposes. Rin was indeed one of the Kazufuhei, and she needed all the protection he could provide without alerting every demon on the island as to what she was.

In keeping with that train of thought, he had assigned a young female dog demon as her personal servant. Sesshomaru had known Rena for a very long time; she was the first woman to introduce him to carnal pleasure. She was incredibly fierce on the battlefield and loyal to a fault. As such, she was one of the few females that he trusted completely. Rena was also the perfect age for marrying, something that she was loathe to do at the moment. When Lord Sesshomaru had requested her services in looking after his ward, her family had been quick to oblige. They were stunned that he had considered someone from their family to serve him personally. Rena was just happy that she no longer had to deal with her many marriage offers. Once she had arrived at the estate where Sesshomaru's ward was, she'd been pulled aside by Sesshomaru himself and made aware of just how much danger Rin was in. Rena had sworn to look after Rin as she were her own.

And so they had settled into the house and the meadow with little fuss. Sesshomaru had a limited number of servants within the house, again because he trusted few where Rin was concerned. They had moved into the estate right as winter set in, and so Sesshomaru had left for a few weeks to attend to some important issues at his mother's home before returning.

But when he did return, he noticed that there was something different about Rin. She seemed happier than usual and went down to the village almost every day. Since he couldn't quite put his finger on what was different, he let her go about her business as long as Rena was with her. Rin thought that there was nothing strange in having a maidservant trailing after her. Besides, she didn't know that Rena was one of the most lethal women in the western lands.

As spring came around, Sesshomaru and Jaken prepared to go out on patrols again. Sesshomaru expected Rin to join them but she had declined.

Three days before he was to leave, Rin asked if she could stay behind. When he had asked why, she'd blushed and told him that she had been seeing a boy down in the village and didn't want to leave him.

Sesshomaru digested that news quietly. It certainly explained a few things, like her strange behavior . . . but he would feel a lot more comfortable leaving her on her own after he'd met the boy. And so a meeting between the two was arranged.

The boy's name was Shizuo, and there was nothing wrong with him that Sesshomaru could see, or smell for that matter. There were no traces of a demonic scent on him, so this most likely wasn't an attempt to kidnap Rin. There was also no denying that Rin cared deeply for Shizuo. Sesshomaru could tell just by looking at the way she acted around him. Throughout the meeting, Shizuo had been polite and respectful; Jaken had glared at the boy the whole time.

Sesshomaru wasn't surprised that Jaken was having a harder time with Rin's love interest than he was. Jaken had always been more of a parent to Rin than he had. However, there was one thing that both Sesshomaru and Jaken agreed on, and it was that there would probably be nobody good enough for their Rin.

Shizuo was damn close though. He was the son of the local warlord, although he lived in the village with his uncle. From the moment that he had first saw Rin, he'd been mesmerized by her beauty. He had asked around the village about her, and wasn't put off after hearing that she was the ward of Lord Sesshomaru. Shizuo had pursued Rin slowly and sweetly, accepting her completely. When he let his family know of his intentions towards her, he'd been blessed with their support; they had treated Rin as if she were already a member of the family.

After the visit was over, Rena told Sesshomaru that it would probably be a matter of time before Shizuo asked for Rin to be his bride. Jaken had promptly had a fit, shouting that the human wretch wasn't good enough for Rin; that he couldn't protect her; that he couldn't provide for her. On and on it went until Sesshomaru took the Staff of Two Heads that Jaken had been brandishing, and used it to knock the imp into the lake behind the house. Sesshomaru didn't think that the boy was good enough for Rin either, but if he made her happy . . .

And so Sesshomaru and Jaken headed out on their patrols without Rin. Rena had promised to keep a close eye on her while they were gone, but Sesshomaru had already decided that he wouldn't be gone for long this time around. If Rin only had a few more months with them, then he wanted to spend them with her not on the road.

Sure enough, Sesshomaru had not been back for even a week before Shizuo had asked for Rin. Sesshomaru agreed. However once he had immediately began to have doubts.

He still had yet to tell Rin that she was one of the Kazufuhei, and since she was soon to be married it was absolutely crucial that both her and Shizuo know about the possible outcomes of her giving birth. Now that Sesshomaru thought about it, he should have used this information as a test to see if the boy was truly worthy of his ward. Furthermore, he didn't know how he felt should Rin give birth to full blooded demon while married to a human. The humans would undoubtedly use the child to get more land and power. Humans were such greedy creatures. . .

The wedding was set for early fall, but war came to call Shizuo away. His father needed him as a general in his army for an upcoming battle with an arch enemy. Shizuo tried to beg off, asking his father to postpone the invasion, but he would not listen. And so Rin's intended left, promising Rin that he would return for her.

Shizuo and his father won the battle, but as they were heading back to their home, they were beset by a small surviving faction of the enemy's army. Shizuo sustained a fatal wound and died before he could return to Rin.

In the meantime, Rin had been preparing for her upcoming nuptials. Lord Sesshomaru had the most magnificent wedding kimono commissioned for her. It was made of the finest white silk with silver lilies embroidered on it and came with silver, silk slippers. Rin had gone into the village everyday: both to make preparations and to listen for news of her beloved. She heard of his victory, and knew that it would only be a matter of time before she was married. She looked forward to her wedding day. Rin longed to be a wife, a mother, a member of a community; these were things that she knew Lord Sesshomaru could never give her. But her dreams were soon shattered.

Sesshomaru had been sitting in his study going over papers that he had avoided looking at for the last week, when he smelled Rin's blood in the air. Faster than the blink of an eye, he was out the door and racing toward her. As he got nearer, he could smell her tears. Suddenly he came to a stop at the sight that greeted him.

Rin was on the ground face down, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Rena was kneeling by her side, gently patting her back while whispering assurances to her. Sesshomaru walked up to Rin while looking at Rena with a raised brow.

"Shizuo is dead," was all Rena said at first. Sesshomaru looked down the road towards the village. Even he had heard of the warlord's victory. He had also heard that Shizuo had made it through the skirmish unscathed, so how . . .

"We just found out. There was a surprise attack on his party as they made their way back home. . . Rin was so upset that she ran out the village, then she tripped and . . ." Rena gestured helplessly to herself and Rin.

Without saying anything, Sesshomaru knelt down and picked up the small girl, and carried her home.

After that Rin was no longer the girl that had somehow wormed her way into his heart. Sesshomaru hadn't realized just how much she loved that human boy until the moment she stopped smiling. He was used to hearing her laughter, not her sobs, and he hated listening to her cry herself to sleep every night. She was no longer full of the joy and life that he had found so enchanting.

When the next spring came around, Sesshomaru didn't even bother asking Rin to accompany him. He no longer wanted to be around her, and so he just left her in Rena's care and took to the road once more, refusing to acknowledge the empty feeling in his chest.

Slowly but surely, Rin began to reemerge from her shell-shocked state. She had felt many things upon hearing about Shizuo's death: sadness, confusion and later on anger. Why did he have to go in first place? Why would he promise something that he knew he probably couldn't keep? Why didn't he come back for her? Wasn't he strong enough? Lord Sesshomaru had always come back for her, even when he had left her in that village for all those years.

One day Rin was sitting on the floor of her room while taking in the view of the lake from a pair of doors that face the back of the house. She had been so immersed in her world of grief, that she hadn't even noticed that Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken were no longer at the estate. When she asked Rena where they were, she had gotten a small, but sad smile. "They are out on patrols Rin, they've been out for some time now," Rena replied.

"Oh," said Rin very quietly. "Did Lord Sesshomaru ask me to accompany him? I can't remember if he did or not," she said looking towards her maidservant.

"No, no he didn't," Rena answered softly, before she got up and left the room.

Once she left Rin began to berate herself. How long had she locked herself in her room? How could she not have noticed that the most important person in her life was no longer at the estate? Then she felt a new terror grip her heart: what if Lord Sesshomaru doesn't want me anymore because of how I've been acting Rin wondered to herself. What if he doesn't come back?

No, he will come back Rin thought. Lord Sesshomaru always came back. But she would have to show him that she was finished grieving for her dead fiancé. If she still cried in the privacy of her rooms then that was okay, but she had to be cheerful whenever she was around him. Rin wanted to at least look like she was making an effort to move on. She wanted to avoid being weak when around him. Rin knew how much he despised weakness.

It had been a long time since she had felt this lonely, this abandoned; not since her family had been killed. And yet, Rin couldn't help thinking that if this was how she felt when her intended died, then how would she feel if Lord Sesshomaru or Master Jaken died? She felt a shudder run down her spine at the thought.

They won't die, she thought to herself. They're not weak like humans are. A few tears leaked out of her eyes which she quickly wiped away. Rin stood up and walked to the door opposite the one she was sitting at. She took a deep breath and opened it. As she stepped into the hallway, she promised herself that she would forget Shizuo. She would forget his family. She would forget the human village and its villagers.

So what if Shizuo was the only human that she could love. Maybe she just wasn't meant to find happiness with humans.