Broken

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

Summary: Rivetra Week 2016 Prompt Day 7

"Stop laughing," Levi complained, lying in a hospital bed.

"I—I can't," Petra snorted, shaking next to him.

He groaned, head falling back.

"That must've been some violent sex."

Levi cringed.

"I thought you two were done. What happened?" Petra asked. "You didn't go crawling back to her like some sad sack now, did you?"

"No! We ran into each other at a bar and got a little drunk and one thing kinda led to another."

"How exactly did it happen?"

"You don't need to know."

"Oh, c'mon! I need to know the details so I can tell all our friends how you sprained your penis."

"I pulled a muscle near my groin," Levi replied stiffly. "My penis is just fine!"

"Yeah, whatever!" Petra waved her hand. "I'm surprised though, why did you call me instead of Mikasa?"

"Even after what happened, my ex wants us to get back together. I need a woman to physically restrain her without holding back if it comes to that."

"Mikasa's the perfect girl for that job."

"Yeah. But she would've told that stupid boyfriend of hers and there goes my dignity."

"I don't know why you're so hard on him, Eren's a sweetheart!"

"He's a sixteen-year-old boy," Levi said like that explained everything. "Anyway, you're only allowed to tell people about the broken arm." He had rolled off the bed in pain after his muscle was pulled, landing awkwardly on his arm and fracturing it.

"How're you gonna explain the limp?"

"Landed badly on my foot, too?"

"Seriously?"

"I don't know. You're creative, help me come up with a better explanation."

Petra rolled her eyes. "Anyway, you really think whats-her-face will try to come here?"

"I asked the doctor not to tell her where I was, but she might try to find me still."

"Don't worry." Petra patted his arm, "I'll defend you and your penis from her vagina." His face turned a dark shade of pink and she snickered.

"I'm glad my pain amuses you so much."

"It's not the pain so much as picturing it happen in my head and you crying and—yeah, your pain does amuse me."

"Sadist," Levi muttered.

"So, when are you being released? I have to get back to my show."

"Soon." His phone vibrated. "Petra!" Levi tried to grab her as she stole it and ducked out of reach. "Don't mention anything other than my arm!"

"Hi, Mikasa!" Petra answered, grinning. "Yeah, he's okay." She nodded. "He broke his left arm and..." Levi shook his head wildly. "And he landed badly on his foot, too, the idiot. Nothing broken there, though, just caused a little limp. How? He fell off the bed. Alright then, you can try him later, he's resting now. 'kay, bye."

"Give me my phone back." He sulkily snatched it from her outstretched hand.

"Stop that."

Petra stopped filming and put her phone down. "I'm not gonna show anyone. It's just for me to watch later and enjoy."

Levi flinched, standing and grabbing the bed to steady himself. "I'm fine," he protested when she tried to help.

"Get over your stupid pride. Your penis is broken—"

"It's not. Broken," he said through gritted teeth.

"Whatever." Petra swatted his hand and wrapped her arms around his waist. "C'mon, let's get you home."

"Fuck, ow. Fuck. Ow. Ow. Ow."

"Almost there," she said, lowering him into her car. "Here we are," she announced twenty minutes later.

"This is so humiliating," Levi complained, needing help to get out of the car.

"Stop whining," Petra scolded. "If you had kept your penis to yourself—"

"Don't say it."

"Levi!"

Their heads snapped up to see a brown-haired young woman rushing toward them.

"I'm sorry." Petra held up her hand. "But Levi said he doesn't want to see you, Miley."

"It's not Miley—"

"Or Kylie or whatever. You broke—"

"Stop saying that, Petra, it's not broken!"

"Look," Petra told the taller woman. "Levi—"

"Can speak for himself!" His ex-girlfriend snapped.

Petra turned to Levi. "Well, you heard the woman."

"I don't want to see you anymore. It was a mistake, what happened last night."

"Which part?" Petra snickered and he glared down at her. She cleared her throat. "Now that you heard it from the horse's mouth, you can run along now." She made a shooing motion.

"Levi—"

"Please, just go."

"But—"

"Want me to make her go away?" Petra asked.

"You better go before Petra gets irritated. She becomes violent if you keep her from her precious Game of Thrones."

"I'm re-watching all the seasons to prepare for the seventh," Petra told her cheerfully.

"Fine! You had another chance but if you want her." Not-Miley sneered, eyeing the amused redhead like she was dirt under her feet. "Then it's your loss!" With that, she stomped away.

"Let's hurry now."

"Slow down," Levi whined when she started rushing him. "Petra, be careful!"

"Sorry." Petra slowed. "I suppose I should be more considerate."

"Thank you."

"So, how long do you have to go celibate? I imagine it must be hard to have sex when your—"

"For the last time, my penis is not broken!"

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