A/N: This will be the last really long spiel I give for a while. Once again I let this chapter run away with me.
First off, let me clarify that Rin is around 16 or 17 years old by now. Secondly, this is the start of Rin and Sesshomaru's romantic relationship. Shizuo's role in this story was to awaken Rin's womanly desires, but Sesshomaru is the one who will fulfill those desires. Of course it's going to be slow. Sesshomaru will be resisting Rin for all types of reasons, but they will end up together in the end. As a result, the rating is going to go up very soon as things start to heat up.
Well that's it. Everything else is pretty self-explanatory. Thank you to my reviewers, you guys are AWESOME. Enjoy and review.
I do not own Inuyasha.
Sesshomaru was feeling strangely peaceful at the moment.
Rin was sitting in a field of flowers humming to herself; Jaken was propped up against Ah-Un's side asleep and Ah-Un was blinking sleepily while peering about him. Sesshomaru himself was sitting under a large tree at the edge of the clearing. It reminded him of when Rin had first joined his little group.
Sesshomaru thought back to when he last returned to the estate. Winter had been setting in and he hadn't been looking forward to returning home. First off, it meant that he would have to catch up on all of the work that had piled up in his absence and second, it also meant that he would have to be around a moping, depressed Rin. Sesshomaru was seriously considering spending the winter months in another estate and having his work sent to him. Rena was more than capable of looking after Rin by herself. Besides, there hadn't been any attempts to kidnap her since he had brought her under his protection.
Sesshomaru wasn't quite sure what to make of that. He wasn't sure if it was his presence that had kept all threats away, or if the demons who knew what Rin was were just biding their time. He knew without a doubt that all of the demons in the Western Lands were aware that Rin was one of the Kazufuhei. Sesshomaru had had two encounters with demons who had told him that they knew what he was hiding at his estate. He had come across quite a jewel while out on his patrols, they had taunted him. Sesshomaru killed the demons before they could say anything else. These encounters were one of the reasons why he was going back to the estate. He needed to make sure that nothing strange had happened while he was gone. Once Sesshomaru heard what Rena had to report, he would head to another one of his estates. One that wasn't far away so that he would still be close enough to Rin to protect her.
All of Sesshomaru's plans had gone out the window when he had seen Rin though. As soon as he'd entered the house, she was there smiling that smile that he hadn't seen in so long.
All that winter Rin had been her normal, cheery self: humming little songs she made up, helping take care of the winter garden, and teasing Jaken. Sesshomaru was glad that she was making an effort to be herself again while in public. He knew that she still cried herself to sleep some nights, but it wasn't as frequent as it had been before he and Jaken had left.
A few weeks before spring arrived, Rin asked Sesshomaru if she could accompany him and Master Jaken on their patrols. He had agreed, and so Rin had begun to prepare. She had her knee length hair cut, so that it fell to her waist instead, and traded her elaborate, many-layered kimonos for simpler ones. As soon as Rin was ready to leave, his strange little group took to the road just as they had in the past.
Sesshomaru allowed his eyes to close and his mind to wander. He found that it was much easier to feel out threats this way than when he was alert and tense.
In the meantime, Rin continued to dally in the field of flowers. It was a very warm day, and she was happy that she hadn't brought any of her fancy kimonos with her. All of the layers would have had her uncomfortable and grouchy. It was bad enough that her hair was sticking to the back of her neck. At the thought, Rin pulled her hair off her neck and fanned herself with her hand. Gods, it was hot.
Other than the discomfort that was caused by the heat Rin was happy to be with Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken again. She hadn't realized how much she needed to get away from the village and the memories of Shizuo until she couldn't see the village anymore. While the initial pain was nothing more than a vague memory that sometimes flared up to overwhelm her, Rin had resigned herself to living a quiet life with Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken. There would be no children - no family - of her own in her life.
Rin was actually surprised by how much she wanted children. Back when she had been living with Kaede, she'd never even thought about having children of her own, but now that seemed to be all she could think about. Perhaps it was just one of the many things that Shizuo had brought to the surface.
Rin stole a peek at Lord Sesshomaru and saw that he had closed his eyes. She knew enough about him now to know that he probably wasn't sleep. She sighed. He looked just as beautiful and distant as ever. . . Unattainable, but that didn't mean that Rin loved him any less.
She had always loved him, but it was the type of love that a child has for someone they admire greatly, very similar to hero worship. Rin had never loved him romantically; she hadn't been delusional as a child and she wasn't delusional now.
Lord Sesshomaru had always sat atop a pedestal in her mind. The few occasions when he had chosen to step off that perch formed some of her most precious memories: the many times he had "played" with her, showing her how to use a sword; the time that he'd personally helped nurse her back to health; whenever he touched her. . .
Rin had never needed very many hugs or kisses when she'd been a child. It was only after she met Shizuo, who touched her whenever he could, that she had begun to crave them. He never touched her inappropriately, let alone in public. It was only when they were alone that he would gently touch her cheek, hold her hand or even take her in his arms. Whenever Shizuo held her, Rin had always felt loved and safe, though not as safe as when Lord Sesshomaru held her.
She also felt strange sensations whenever Shizuo held her. It was similar to what she experienced whenever Lord Sesshomaru touched her only different. Rin felt the same giddiness, but there was also a funny feeling in her stomach. Her heart would start racing and her face would heat up. She felt as though she were waiting for something, but just what she wasn't sure of.
Rin looked at Lord Sesshomaru yet again and sighed once more. If only he would touch her, just once. . .
Sesshomaru felt the change in Rin's mood. He opened his eyes to look at her, but her back was to him. "Rin," he said.
Rin gave a small jump. She hadn't been expecting him to call her. Rin hurriedly got up and walked to his side.
Sesshomaru was currently sitting on the ground under a huge tree. His fur had expanded to form a cushion between his back and the trunk. His right leg was extended forward, while his left one was bent at the knee with his left arm resting on it. Rin sat down on his right side and looked at him expectantly.
Sesshomaru watched her very closely, but she gave nothing away. She had learned that from him. He turned his head away from her and asked, "What's made you sad?"
Rin blushed. Why did he have to have such a sharp nose? There was no way that she could tell him what she had been thinking. "It's nothing, my lord," Rin replied while averting her eyes.
"You're lying," was all he said. Sesshomaru wondered why he was even pressing the issue. He had a good feeling he knew what had caused her to feel sad, and while he wasn't looking forward to listening to Rin talk about her dead fiancé he figured it was the least he could do. He knew that some days were still very difficult for her.
"It's just that . . . I think that you'll think me too bold, my lord . . ." she trailed off. Rin had decided to compromise; she would touch him. All Sesshomaru did was raise a brow.
Rin shuffled a little closer to him, and cautiously reached for his clawed hand. Once she had it, she flipped it over, so that the palm was facing up, and began to lightly run her fingers down the length of his. Once Rin finished she quickly looked at Sesshomaru to see if she had angered him, but all she saw was the usual mask that he always wore. Gathering her courage Rin turned so that she was facing him, and once again turned his hand over before bringing it to her cheek.
Rin stayed this way for a few moments, with her cheek resting against the back of Lord Sesshomaru's hand. She felt tears gathering, and quickly closed her eyes to stave them off; she didn't want anything to ruin these precious moments. Once Rin had gotten herself under control, she lifted her head and smiled at Sesshomaru. Her smile put him at ease.
Sesshomaru wasn't used to women petting him unless they were both unclothed, and there was no denying that Rin was petting him. She had now moved her hand to the fur that he was leaning on, and was softly stroking it. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about this. He should make her stop. Sesshomaru had been prepared to listen to her talk about her intended, not invite her to this petting fest. He didn't even see how the two were related.
Rin's hands were now running through his hair. It was so soft, she couldn't help thinking to herself, like silk. She ran her hands through the silver strands for a long time, reveling in the fact that her idol had come down off his pedestal to indulge her humanity. Once Rin had gotten her fill with his hair, she took a moment to gather all of her courage before turning her eyes once more to Sesshomaru's face. Slowly, hesitantly, she raised a hand to his face, bringing the fingertips of one hand to his jaw. When he didn't snarl or glare, Rin released the breath that she had been holding, shuffled closer still and began to trace the strange markings on his face.
Sesshomaru resisted the overwhelming urge to pull his head out of her hands. He'd been watching her the whole time that she had been touching him, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of hers, but her head had always been lowered. When Rin reached for his face, what he saw in her eyes made him silently catch his breath. She was in awe. He was used to women being in awe of his power, his position, his wealth, but never had one been in awe of just him.
Slowly Sesshomaru felt the tension that had gripped him the moment she touched him begin to leave his body. Rin had always had the strangest effect on him. If it were any other female, he would have thrown them away from him, or at the very least glared them into the next life. He let his eyes drift close.
Rin had finished tracing the magenta stripes on his cheek when she saw him close his eyes. She had always wanted to do this when she had been a little girl, but she had known how Lord Sesshomaru felt about people touching him. Rin moved her hand to lightly trace the red markings on his eyelids, before turning her attention to the blue crescent moon that graced his forehead. This was her favorite marking. She had always wished that she had one of her own when she was younger.
Once she was finished touching all of his markings, she began to trace the lines of his face in earnest: his perfectly sculpted cheekbones, his long but straight nose, his thin and delicate eyebrows. In the back of her mind, Rin was dimly aware that she was grateful Jaken was asleep. He would have had a heart attack if he had seen her touching his master so freely. After quickly tracing the outline of his lips, Rin cupped Sesshomaru's face in her hands and just looked at him. She had never been this close to him before.
Suddenly, he opened his eyes and Rin found herself trapped in his magnificent golden stare. Her heart began pounding and she could feel her face heating under his gaze. Rin found herself leaning towards him, before Sesshomaru quickly turned his head to the side. When he did, she felt air rushing back into her lungs.
"Are you finished Rin," Sesshomaru asked. He needed to put some space between them. Not for his sake, but for hers. She had been very close to kissing him.
"Yes. Thank you Lord Sesshomaru," Rin replied in a shaky voice. She quickly got up and went to sit in the field once more.
What had just happened, she wondered. Why was her heart racing? Why did she feel like this? Why did her stomach feel so strange, like she was about to vomit or something? Rin had never experienced this when she had been with Lord Sesshomaru before, but then again, she had never been that close to him before either.
That's it she thought to herself. The only reason why I'm feeling this way is because that was the first time I had been that close to Lord Sesshomaru while still aware enough to remember it. It was just a more intense version of what Rin felt whenever he touched her.
Rin was so busying trying to convince herself that that was the reason behind her reaction, that she completely forgot about Shizuo for the rest of the day.
A week later, Sesshomaru and his companions were traveling along a narrow mountain road. The sun was sinking lower in the sky, indicating that they would soon need to find a resting spot for the night. Sesshomaru already knew where that resting spot was, but they were still more than an hour away.
Suddenly, Rin jumped off of Ah-Un's back, where she had been perched for most of the afternoon, and ran to the edge of the road so that she was facing the setting sun. Sesshomaru stopped as well, not willing to put a huge amount of distance between him and his ward, and watched her.
She had cried again last night, and while her sobs had been silent he had still smelt her tears in the air. Sesshomaru hated when she cried. It made him feel so useless. Yet he couldn't help but be proud of Rin. She was trying so hard to be strong, to rise above her human weaknesses. Still, he wished there was something that he could do to make her feel better on days like this. Sesshomaru pondered just what that something could be before he struck on an idea. It would make him uncomfortable, but what were a few moments of discomfort if it made Rin happy?
Sesshomaru looked around him. Ah-Un had wondered farther down the path and was happily munching on some grass that was growing at the side of the road, and Jaken was sitting on the ground moaning about his aching feet under his breath. Satisfied that they were otherwise engaged, Sesshomaru walked up behind Rin and stood there for a few moments. Her hands were at her sides. He remembered when she had pressed her face to his hand; he had felt her desperation in the air. It had thrown him through a loop, because Rin had never been desperate for anything before while in his presence.
Then Sesshomaru took another step closer, reached his hands around Rin and laid them on top of hers. Their hands were the only parts of their bodies that were touching.
As Rin felt Sesshomaru put his hands on top of hers she resisted the urge to lean against him. Her heart was racing again. She knew that he would only so this for her and she was grateful. Once her heart calmed down, Rin spread her fingers wide and curled them into her fist while capturing Sesshomaru's as well. Their fingers were now intertwined.
Sesshomaru had sensed the boost in Rin's mood and was coolly satisfied that his idea had worked.
The sun began to dip behind the horizon, and still Sesshomaru and Rin stood that way. They stayed in that manner until the sun had disappeared beneath the horizon.
And it was enough. For both of them.