Love Struck Delusion
Chapter 288 - A clear sign.
Zeta's POV, a week later.
I sat in this room with only one concern on my mind and that was still Raptor who was coming back to me slowly each day. A few days ago Marx sat me down with a few others and together we tried to jog more of his memory. During which he remembered me and Pepper. It was so nice to see progress. Yet there were still a lot of issues. Raptor still wasn't talking a lot. He wouldn't mention anything from his coma and he was still a very clear and sad hedgehog. He just didn't seem happy to be alive. To remember things. He remembered what happened to Archer and he remembers being dragged halfway through the desert. Which also meant he knew the war was over. He was a hero to everyone but it was like he didn't care. Hecan tried to talk to him already. But Raptor wouldn't say anything back. He just listened and even when he listened it felt like he wasn't paying any attention.
Marx and Clamer have done an amazing job. But today was the day Raptor would be allowed to walk on his own. He was going to try to get outside and hopefully then he could be happy. He just wanted to move. To leave this room and who could blame him? I wondered as Marx looked over to where I was sitting to say to me.
"Zeta? Come here please."
I came to his side almost immediately. He was standing right next to Raptor who was hunched over looking off the side of the bed. With Marx looking back and forth between us, he said to me carefully.
"He's ready. You make sure he stays on track and he takes his time. The others will make sure you're not distrubed. If anyones asks questions, you don't say anything. He's not ready to be interviewed and we want to keep the press away from him till he's had more time. Okay?"
Nodding my head, I replied.
"I understand. I'm not leaving his side for anything."
"Good. Are you ready Raptor?"
The hedgehog again didn't answer. Not even a nod as Marx just reached out to grab his hand. Raptor didn't fight him and together he helped him back onto his feet. Once there, Marx handed him his crutches. Raptor was very slow to get moving. I got around to his other side and waited as Marx urged him.
"Careful…..slowly now. Any pain?"
Raptor shook his head from side to side just as slow as he tried to take that first step. That's when I wrapped my hands around his arm to start helping. Together and with time, we got outside the room and were greeted by a few of Raptor's men. All armed and ready to come along as we proceeded to the main lobby in a group.
The plan was to take him around the outside of the building. We had our side of the street blocked off from the public, but there were still people out there and a threat of the press as well. But with all things considered, this would be good. He hasn't been outside the walls for well over a month now. I'm sure people just wanted to know he was okay.
Once we got out there it was clear where our path was. Raptor's men made it very clear by standing where the boundaries were. Leading him from the front door and all the way to the main gate, Raptor took his time and care to tackle each step. I'm sure he was still in some pain and even with his condition it took a lot of energy to be this safe. Utmost concern was just to prevent more damage to his legs. Hopefully in another day or two he wouldn't need these crutches.
As we took our first step outside the capital perimeter, we were greeted by Char and Raptor's therapist. Char asked me if I wanted to trade spots, but I declined and listened as Clamer asked me.
"How's he doing?"
"Good." I replied honestly as he came to Raptor's other side to ask.
"Good. Hopefully in another day or so we'll have you walking on your own again Raptor. How's your back?"
"It's okay." He replied sadly as both Char and I looked at one another to frown. We both have been here since the beginning of this recovery. Raptor's voice was getting sadder and sadder each day. He still barely talked louder than a whisper and there wasn't anything we could do to help. All of this was emotional and very hard to work with. It was mostly mental and even an expert like Clamer who's known Raptor for years; is having trouble getting him to talk about what happened. Raptor hasn't even told us exactly what went down after he chased Archer into the desert. He just knows he's dead and that's all that matters. He won't go into details and he still won't answer the majority of questions we got. It was hard to help when we barely knew what was wrong apart from the pain.
"Let's take this nice and easy for now Raptor. We have the time." Clamer told him as my eyes were watching the ground. More specifically Raptor's feet. Just to make sure he wasn't going to trip or so I could catch him if he went down. I wanted to be ready.
Thankfully with Char and plenty of attention, the walk went pretty much perfect. By the end of it Raptor was clearly tired. Which again makes me worried. A question everyone who knows what he really is has been asking. Where did his power go? He never displayed this kind of reaction to physical pain and more so a lack of energy. I wondered if it had something to do with Marcus or if this was a side effect of the coma. His body might just be trying to remember it's own strength. No one knows what happened and it's not like I can just summon Marcus. Or maybe?
My thoughts dragged me on to a weird idea. Thankfully by the time that came to me we had wrapped back around to the front gate. To our surprise, once we had made our full trip, the ongoing spectators began to clap and cheer from across the street. I smiled as some yelled out his name. But when I looked back at him he was nothing but determined to get back inside. Thankfully Clamer was considering himself more or less Raptor's representative. So with nothing but a cheerful smile; Clamer began to wave back at them shouting.
"Thank you! Thank you everyone for your support!"
I gave Clamer a smile and a small wink of approval as Char and I escorted Raptor back through the gate. Once inside the perimeter again, Clamer came back to our side to say.
"We should take him back to his room. Raptor?"
Raptor didn't respond. He just held himself still as I had most of my focus on Clamer now that he was talking. Just being positive, I asked Clamer.
"Back to medical?"
Clamer gave me a slight nod but at the same time replied in an unsure tone.
"That depends. I was thinking we could try and have him spend a night in his actual room."
Widening my eyes I questioned.
"Do you think he's ready to climb stairs? Marx wasn't too sure. He wanted to give him another day or two."
"Well I think he did a good job out there and I'd like to ask for his opinion on the subject of his personal health for once, if you don't mind Zeta of course?"
I looked right back to Raptor who took a few moments to collect himself mentally before saying back to his doctor.
"I'll try."
Clamer smiled and with that I urged my boyfriend.
"Please just take your time. I'm going to be right behind you just in case, so don't worry about getting hurt."
"Okay." He replied back as we walked into the main building to begin our approach to the stairs that led right up to his office and officer's barracks. I took away his crutches as he grabbed onto the rail and balanced himself. I felt like I had to let go to allow him to do this. So as I got out from under his arm, I asked him carefully.
"Are you okay?"
He just nodded and took the first step. Handing Char the crutches, I got right up behind Raptor to start my guard and watch his legs. Clamer followed a step under us and let me paint a picture.
The main stairs here consist of twenty five steps. It's not a little set by any means and in Raptor's case it must feel like a hundred. I was more concerned for him physically right now. However that thought got sidelined when I began to hear someone start clapping. We looked back to find some of the soldiers cheering him on as he was halfway up the steps.
All I felt was happiness from this. Just seeing how much and how many people only wanted the best for him. The support and all the people who cared about him. Even if they never spoke to him. It was unreal and just what I needed right now. Raptor on the other hand didn't react in any way. He just kept going. By the time we reached the top a small crowd had formed and had broken into cheers as he overcame the last step. Char got right up next to him so he could take the crutches back now that there was no rail. Raptor needed a bit of break now and once he was using the crutches, Char said to him.
"Good shit man. That's fucking great. Catch your breath."
Clamer patted my back and came up next to say to the hedgehog.
"That was amazing Raptor. Very good job. Next stop is bed. Are you ready?"
Raptor nodded and began to move. Leaving the crowd to stop their chanting and get back on their way. Then all our effort was getting him to his room which was nice and prepared for him. The air on and the blinds darkened out so he could just sleep in peace without sunlight to bother his eyes. Char took over and helped him sit down on the bed. I took the crutches and got them placed next to his dresser. Clamer then came to Char's side to help lower Raptor down onto his back. Once he was laying down, Clamer said to him.
"Now Marx just wants you to rest. That was the plan for today now that you've gotten enough exercise. Now I'm going to suggest you take another sedative for the pain. What about you? Do you want to?"
Raptor looked to Clamer as he had pulled out a script bottle from under his jacket. He took out two capsules and with that, put them in Raptor's hand. Char offered him a sip of water from a flask he had on his belt and together Raptor swallowed them without much trouble. Once he had given Char back his flask, Clamer said with a happy voice.
"It'll hit you in a few minutes. Till then you shouldn't feel any pain. Rest up. Relax. And if you need anything you just call me. You remember where your phone is?"
Raptor nodded and calmly replied back to be sure.
"In my front pocket. I'll call you Clamer. Thank you."
That was probably the longest string of words he's ever said since he woke back up. Clamer was more then happy now as I smiled and watched both him and Char get ready to leave. Before he could say anything back, I told the doctor.
"I'll hang around till he's asleep. Just to make sure."
"Okay Zeta. Same thing I told him. You need anything you call."
"Thank you guys." I replied back as Char stretched out to say to his best friend.
"I'm gonna be right outside the door Raptor. You can call me too. Just shout or make a noise. I'll come right in."
Raptor nodded and shut his eyes. Leaving me to shut the door when both the men were gone. From there I let out a sigh and fixed my hair. Raptor was still laying with his eyes shut. Once I was good, I came back to his side to ask.
"Are you still awake?"
The hedgehog didn't respond, but after a few seconds he nodded his head once. His eyes remained closed as I proceeded to say to him.
"Well you did a really good job today. I was hoping….now that we're alone and away from Marx, you might be willing to talk to me a bit."
Raptor still gave me no response. So very gently I reached out to place my hand on top of his chest. His eyes opened up slowly to stare at me as I begged him with tears coming to mine.
"Talk to me…...please…...Raptor? What's wrong? I've never seen you this way. Talk to me please. Just so I can help."
The tears came faster than I wanted them too. He watched as they began to roll down my cheeks and once I cleaned them off for the first time; he said to me with the same depressed voice.
"Nothings' wrong….I'm okay. I'm just in a lot of pain right now. I swear to you. I'm fine."
Shaking my head with a small smile, I questioned him knowing I was right and he just lied to my face.
"You're not fine. Don't fucking lie to me and try to tell me otherwise."
Raptor lowered his eyes back down till he was looking the complete other way of me. Clearly breaking down, I said to him through all my sadness.
"What's wrong with you? You shouldn't be this way. The war is over. You're a hero. And you have everyone in the middle east ready to lay down their lives for you. So many of those people are worried about you and god damn it so am I! And that's because I'm not blind to problems. You're clearly not telling us something. Something is going on and no one can help you if you don't reach out to us for it."
"Why would I want to do that Zeta? Why would I want to get you involved in anything I'm feeling? No one can help fix what I am. What I've just seen and felt? It's not fixable. It's an ugly truth I now have to live with. Why? Because somewhere in my mind I thought it would be a good idea to go back in time and see what would happen if I didn't make the mistakes that lead me here."
"Mistakes?" I questioned feeling like he regretted everything right now going on in his life. Including me.
Looking back over at me he went on to state.
"I got to see my family again. My son. My daughter. My wife. I got the chance to go the other way with the choices that got me here. I got to see what would happen. The things I chose not to do wound up crippling me. I had started becoming a dad. A real father figure to my boy. I gave him the attention he always needed and I was happy knowing he finally loved me. I didn't start the war. I listened to my wife and she was right. I could have avoided all this senseless madness and they would still all be alive. I'd still have a reason to live."
I had my heart being crushed with each thing he said. Yet he went on.
"Archer wouldn't be dead. Hannon…...Wreak…? Everyone who lost their lives because of me would still be alive. No one would have been hurt. I wouldn't have lived just to suffer like I am now. I'd be the one thing I never was my whole life if I would have just stopped."
His eyes shut as the word hit me like a baseball bat to the head.
"Happy….?"
With that I went to respond somehow, but I saw that he lost all control over his body and had drifted back to sleep from the sedative. Now left alone and still in tears, I wiped my face and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek as he now slept. I had to wonder even more now just how depressed he was. It's like he just didn't seem to care about the future and much like what Clamer had told me that one night….how could I blame him?
mT Shadow.