Sorry this took forever to update, but I'm back now, though this story is ending in probably a couple chapters and then I think I'm going to focus on By the Book for a bit before I start a new Langson story. Anyway enjoy.

Oh what the hell she says

I just can't win for losing

And she lays back down

Man there's so many times

I don't know what I'm doin'

Like I don't know now

Olivia curled up into a ball in bed. "I can't win, Trevor. I take two steps forward and five back." A single tear rolled down her cheek and she covered herself with a blanket. "I'm tired, I'm sick, I hurt, I'm cold, I've lost too much weight in such a short amount of time; for only being three weeks in because I can't keep food down most of the time. I feel like I'm just withering away into nothing." She closed her eyes. "Just when I start to feel better I have to go in and get more toxins pumped into my body."

Trevor sat on the bed next to her, rubbing her back. "Oh, Liv." He kissed her forehead. "I can't even imagine." The truth was he didn't know what to do to help her. He made sure she had water and pedialyte, protein shakes and whatever she asked for, but emotionally, he was at a loss. He wanted to take all of this on himself so that she didn't have to feel any of it.

"Be thankful you don't know. It's awful. When your body turns on itself, it's terrible. Olivia mumbled. "Hold me while I sleep? Please? I'm so tired but I need to be in your arms."

Trevor moved to his side of the bed and laid down with her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. The kids were at Trevor's mother's house for the day, so he could hold her as long as she wanted him to. "I've got you, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere," he whispered. "I love you."

Olivia nuzzled into him and relaxed significantly in his arms. "I love you, too" she whispered back before falling asleep.

And she says, oh

I can't take no more

Her tears like diamonds on the floor

And her diamonds bring me down

'Cause I can't help her now

She's down in it

She tried her best and now she can't win

It's hard to see them on the ground

Her diamonds falling down

1 week later

Olivia clung to the toilet as Trevor rubbed her back. "I can't take this any more," she said between heaving her stomach contents into the bowl. "I'm so sick of this," she cried. She leaned back against Trevor and panted.

Trevor held her and kissed the side of her head. "I wish I could do more, Olivia, but all I can do is tell you that I've got you, and beg you not to give up. We have two babies to think about, they need their mommy just as much as they need me. I need you to keep fighting. I need you here with me; please don't give up."

Olivia closed her eyes. "I'm not giving up. I'm just… I'm tired, Trevor. This is exhausting. Besides, you promised you would jump up and down on my chest before you let me die. So even though there are days I feel like I'm dying, more days than not I feel like that, I know that I'll live if you have anything to say about it."

Trevor nodded. "Yeah well, whatever deity there is out there and I have a deal, and that deal includes me not losing you." He kissed her temple. "Ready to get up?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, help me up." He helped her up and helped steady her before she moved to the sink to brush her teeth. "I can't wait until this chemo is done. Then I get my scans and hopefully they're clean so I don't need to keep going through this."

"Two more weeks, baby. Two more weeks and you're all done."

Olivia nodded. "I can't wait. Trevor… I- I miss you. I miss making love to you, and I wish I had the energy, or that I didn't get sick after every little thing, but I can't, but when I tell you that the second the doctor tells me my scans are clean, we're celebrating, I mean it."

Trevor smiled. "I miss you too, and maybe we wait until we get home to celebrate. The doctor may frown upon us making love on her desk."

Olivia smiled. "Fine, when we get home, but I can't promise you much longer than that."

Trevor wrapped her in his arms. "That's all we need to wait for, just until we get home and we can celebrate all you want. I promise."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "I can't wait. Now those scans have to be clean, or we'll be getting our hopes up for nothing."

Trevor kissed her cheek. "Not for nothing, but yes, I do want those scans to come back clean, because it'll mean that you kicked cancer's ass.

Olivia turned in his arms and kissed him gently. "I love you, Trevor. What would ever do without you?" The question made her heart break. "I can't believe I lived without you as long as I did, I'm so sorry. When we got married, that was it for me. You are it for me. I want you forever. Even if you piss me off sometimes."

Trevor caressed her face. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I never should have called you that name, ever, after the first time I did and we got in a fight. I thought… I thought we were so strong that not even that would come between us, but I was wrong, and I will never forgive myself for that. Ever."

Olivia nuzzled into his touch. "Just don't say it again, okay? Please?"

Trevor nodded. "I swear."

By the light of the moon

She rubs her eyes

Sits down on the bed and starts to cry

And there's something less about her

And I don't know what I'm supposed to do

So I sit down and I cry too

But don't let her see

1 week later

Olivia stood in their room, lit only by moonlight. She rubbed her eyes, just coming back from the bathroom, throwing up again. She threw up most days, but the day after her treatments was always the worst. She sat on the edge of the bed and broke down in sobs. "Damn it."

The shaking of the bed from her sobs woke Trevor up and he sat behind her. "Liv, you okay?" It was a stupid question. Of course she wasn't okay, but he didn't know what else to do, so as she sobbed, he knelt behind her and cried with her as he rubbed her back, making sure she didn't see him cry. He needed to be strong for her right now. He didn't need her to be comforting him while she went through this.

Olivia wiped her eyes. "I'll be fine. One more week and it's over and I'll be fine." She said softly, but with conviction. "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. I just want to feel okay again. I'm not afraid I'm gonna die anymore, I'm afraid I won't and that this will go on and on and on forever with no end. One week, Trevor. One week, I don't know if I can do this again."

"Liv? What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, if the cancer isn't gone, I don't think I want to do more chemo. I'd rather just… let it kill me." She looked behind her. "I'm not giving up, this isn't me giving up, this is me wanting to be able to live my life that I have left with you and our babies to the absolute fullest. I'll retire and we can homeschool the kids and spend the days we have traveling, and our nights making love. Because Trevor, the way I've been living for the past five weeks is no way to live."

Trevor wrapped her in his arms and sobbed. "I don't want you to die."

Olivia had tears running down her face. "I don't either. I want to live forever with you, I want to grow old and I want us to die together, holding each other's hand, in our sleep. But if this cancer isn't gone, I don't want to live like this. All we can do is hope that my scans come back clean. Okay? Hope for that."

She shuts out the night

Tries to close her eyes

If she can find daylight

She'll be alright

She'll be alright

1 week later

Olivia and Trevor sat down in the doctor's office waiting for the scans to come back. Both were nervous. The doctor walked in and both looked at her. "Okay, I just saw your repeat scans, and I have good news. Cancer's gone. No more chemo."

Olivia let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She started to sob and she fell into Trevor and kept crying. "I'm okay? I'm really okay?"

Trevor smiled. "You're really okay," He looked at the doctor. "Thank you."

They both stood up and walked out of the office. Olivia took his hand once they got to the sidewalk and they walked home, Olivia couldn't help the smile on his face. "So, how about we have a celebratory dinner tonight with the kids? We can go out somewhere?" She asked, gently swinging their arms.

Trevor looked over at her. "I'd like that." Once they reached their apartment Trevor pulled her inside and pushed her against the door. She giggled and kissed him. He broke the kiss and looked at her. "This still what you want?"

Olivia's eyes met his, they had a fire in them he'd missed for the past couple months. "You are what I want." She took her shirt over her head and pushed her pants over her hips, leaving her in her bra and panties. "Take me," she grinned.

Trevor picked her up and brought her into the bedroom, laying her on the bed. He took his shirt off, followed by his jeans and boxers, climbing on top of her and undoing her bra, looking at her new breasts and he smiled, kissing each one lightly. "God you're so beautiful, Olivia."

Olivia moaned and gripped his hair. "Oh, Trevor! Please," she begged. She felt her panties come off her body and she closed her eyes. "I need you, baby."

Trevor settled between her legs and looked at her. "You ready, sexy?"

Olivia moaned and nodded, gasping when she felt him push into her. "Oh my God!" She felt him start to move and she held onto his shoulders tightly. "Don't fucking stop baby! Please, don't stop!"

Trevor groaned and moved harder inside her, each thrust was purposeful and he heard her breath start to come in pants. "Yeah, you gonna come for me? Come on my cock?"

Olivia cried out in pleasure. "Yeah!" She pulled him close. "Just like that, I'm gonna come. Don't you dare stop."

Trevor moved and started to rub her clit as he thrust into her. "Come on baby. Come for me."

Olivia's eyes screwed shut and her back arched. "Fuck me!" She cried out and she felt herself start to come undone and she opened her eyes to look at him as her muscles milked him. "Come on baby. I need to feel you."

At her words Trevor came hard inside her. He brought them both down and collapsed on top of her. "Oh, Liv," he whispered and kissed her gently. "Oh I missed you."

Olivia smiled, tears springing to her eyes. "I missed you too." She held him tight. "Oh Trevor I never want to live without that ever again."

Trevor caressed her face. "Never, my love. You'll never be without me again."

Olivia kissed him gently. "I'm madly in love with you Trevor."

Trevor smiled. "I'm so in love with you Olivia Margaret. I'm never letting you go again."

A/N: Thanks for reading, leave a review if you feel so inclined. I'm going to update again soon, and next update here will be the second to last chapter. Thanks for all the love and support! See you soon!