A/N: Guess who's back in a semi-timely manner! I honestly have no idea when my last update was, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't too long ago. Anyway, I have some good stuff for you all this update, and more good stuff to come in the next ones. If not good, then at least exciting. My muse has still been compliant with this story being my priority, so let's hope that lasts.
Be well and enjoy!
We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
-The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown
Bellatrix hated to admit it, but she loved being in the Muggle world, even if it was only because she was free to walk around, with no fear of being recognized. Muggles were blissfully unaware of her status as a criminal, were blissfully unaware that she was anything other than perfectly ordinary. Even the clothes weren't as bad as everyone had made them seem. She found she quite enjoyed wearing trousers more than skirts, and no one looked twice at her for it. Her father had not hesitated to give her a beating the first- and only- time she had ever worn trousers. From that point on, she had stuck with robes or her signature corset and skirts. They were comfortable and didn't restrict her at all. If anything, she was even more free to move about. She didn't care much for Muggles themselves, in fact, she found them rather stupid and oblivious. Hermione always insisted they weren't that stupid, but Bellatrix didn't entirely believe her until Hermione had dragged her into a science museum and shown her. She still pretended, though, because she wanted to. She supposed she understood Hermione's desire to defend them. After all, her parents were Muggles, if she hadn't been a witch, she would be a Muggle, and she was ridiculously intelligent.
Speaking of the younger witch, another thing Bellatrix liked about the Muggle world was how chatty Hermione got. She loved to explain everything to Bellatrix as they wandered, teaching her little things about the Muggle world so she could act like one. Most of the time, she didn't pay much attention to the words Hermione was saying, just the sound of her voice and the light on her face. If she wasn't so determined to destroy the Ministry, she could probably find somewhere in the Muggle world to settle down with Hermione. She was determined though, and she would succeed or die trying, and she would take Hermione with her, too. It was selfish, sure, but Hermione would follow her regardless.
Hermione spent a little bit of time teaching Bellatrix how to cook without magic, something she was surprisingly good at. The first dish they made together was more or less inedible, but Bellatrix had enjoyed using her hands to create something rather than destroy it, even if she had accidentally burnt the lasagna so badly it was rock solid. How she didn't start a fire was a miracle, but she had learned the importance of setting a timer and paying close attention to what she was cooking. It wasn't her favorite activity in the world, but it was close. She knew it was to keep her occupied, but that didn't make it less enjoyable; there were worse things Hermione could teach her.
Most of the time they were in the Muggle world, they were slowly but steadily collecting the materials they needed. Hermione insisted they couldn't buy it all at once because of something or other about security. Bellatrix didn't care much, so long as they had everything soon so they could start working. They had spent the last few weekends in the Muggle world, and Bellatrix was beginning to learn her way around the city. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. On one hand, it meant she could explore without Hermione, but on the other, it meant she was spending too much time there. She wasn't too keen on walking around without Hermione, she was not good at interacting with the Muggles, and it was just easier if Hermione took care of it all for her.
That's what they were currently doing. Hermione was walking slightly in front of Bellatrix, as she always did when they were in Muggle London. Bellatrix followed close behind, her eyes flicking to Hermione's backside more than she wanted to admit. The area they were in was bustling with people, and Bellatrix had to keep her focus firmly on Hermione so they wouldn't be separated. She reached forward and grabbed Hermione's arm, the sudden change of pace nearly making the brunette trip. Hermione looked up at Bellatrix, threading their fingers together with a small smile. Bellatrix bumped their shoulders together, pulling Hermione into her side. It was not a practical way for them to walk, and Hermione quickly pulled away and dragged her down an alley. She cast a glance around, making sure no one was watching as she apparated them away. They landed in the living room and Bellatrix immediately launched herself onto the couch, her fingertips dragging on the rug. She motioned for Hermione to sit there, playing with the ends of her hair when she did.
"I want to play with something," Bellatrix said, leaning partly off the couch so her head was on Hermione's shoulder.
"What kind of something," Hermione mumbled, shivering as Bellatrix's eyelashes tickled her neck.
"Something explosive," she breathed onto Hermione's skin, delighting in the goosebumps that bloomed in the wake of her words.
"You know where it is, Bella," Hermione managed, fighting the urge to weave her fingers through dark curls.
Bellatrix smiled against Hermione's neck, making sure to let her exposed teeth drag over her skin. Hermione inhaled slowly, her hand twitching on the rug. Bellatrix caught the motion out of the corner of her eye, darting her tongue out to taste the salt that had gathered lightly on Hermione's skin. She was rewarded with a soft moan as Hermione tilted her head to the side, her hand twitching on the carpet again. She blew softly on Hermione's neck, smirking as goosebumps erupted again. Hermione reached up, her hand meeting air.
"Come play with me," Bellatrix teased, hoisting herself up from the couch and dancing into the kitchen.
Hermione hit her head against the seat of the couch, groaning as she dragged herself to her feet. She knew Bellatrix had been toying with her, and she wished she had more self-control so she could see how far the dark-haired witch would've gone to get her to react. When she entered the kitchen, Bellatrix was leaning against the bar, waiting expectantly for Hermione. She beamed at the younger witch excitedly, winking as she pushed herself up and began putting everything they had collected on the bar. Hermione rolled her eyes, summoning a pen and pad of paper. She took notes on Bellatrix's concoctions and their results, admiring the gleeful smile on the older woman's face as she did so. They continued until the sun began to dip below the horizon and darkness seeped into the room.
Haphazardly, Bellatrix returned everything to their places, snatching Hermione's pad and pen from her and tossing it onto the bar. She pulled the bushy-haired witch close, tracing her nose along her jawline. She hummed when Hermione draped her arms over her shoulders, brown eyes looking slightly up at her. Bellatrix flashed her a smile, sliding her hands to Hermione's waist and pulling her hips forward.
"How far would you go to get me to react?" Hermione whispered softly, tracing patterns along strong shoulders.
"As far as it took," Bellatrix whispered back.
"And how far would you let me go?" she asked, looking through her eyelashes at Bellatrix.
"As far as you want," Bellatrix admitted, cursing her wicked brain for making her say the words.
Kingsley observed Hermione carefully, the absence of her bird- he still strongly suspected it to be Bellatrix in disguise- a mild surprise but he was able to school his expression into one of friendliness and welcoming.
"How are you doing, Hermione?" he asked, offering her tea.
"Much better. It's been nice teaching and being out of the world's spotlight," she answered, taking the tea he held out to her.
"I don't suppose I could convince you to come work for me after the school year ends?"
"I don't think I'm ready for that just yet. Even at Hogwarts, I get so much attention that I don't really want." Hermione sipped her tea.
"It was worth a try," Kingsley chuckled, "But I am sure you're a wonderful fit as a teacher. It's a very interesting topic you've allowed your students to research."
"They chose it themselves, and I do trust them to take care of the files and return them to me in one piece," Hermione said, leaning forward and setting down her tea.
"I trust you, and your judgment, of course, and I expect you to return them all when they are no longer needed." Kingsley handed her a sealed manilla envelope, the weight of it matched by the heavy feeling in her gut.
"Thank you, Kingsley," she whispered, holding it close to her body as she stood.
He watched her walk to the floo in his office, stopping her just as she was about to leave. "Hermione, if there's ever anything you need to tell me, my door is open."
Hermione's mind called forth a memory of Harry telling her and Ron about one of his many conversations with Dumbledore. If he had admitted he needed help, would things have been different? Would things have turned out differently? She didn't move for several long seconds, her eyes far away as she held the envelope against her side.
"Hermione?" Kingsley prompted gently, watching as the far-away look left her eyes.
"Sorry, it just reminded me of something Harry said one time. It happens sometimes, but not as much as it used to. It isn't as overwhelming anymore," she said, "And I will if anything comes up."
Hermione grabbed a handful of floo-powder, stepping into the floo and announcing her destination just before she scattered the powder with a flourish. She emerged in Minerva's office, brushing a stray bit of soot from her shoulder. The motherly figure was nowhere to be found, but as her eyes scanned the room, they fell on Bellatrix. She was sitting on the corner of Minerva's desk, examining her nails as if they were the most important thing in the world. Upon Hermione's entrance, she looked up, a languid smile taking the place of her bored expression.
"I can't believe he actually gave them to you," she purred, rising from the desk and circling Hermione.
"Perks of being a war hero," Hermione answered sarcastically, her eyes roaming up and down Bellatrix.
"If only he knew," Bellatrix whispered in her ear before shifting and settling on Hermione's shoulder.
Hermione chuckled darkly, making her way to her room to remove Bellatrix's file. It was a short walk, and the halls were relatively empty. As soon as her door was locked, Bellatrix had snatched the file from her and thrown herself onto the couch, already perusing through it.
"I had no idea so many Death Eaters were registered," she said, "Ah, here it is."
Bellatrix held out her paperwork to Hermione, resisting the urge to turn it into kindling. Hermione quickly took it from her as if she knew what was going through her head. She placed the paperwork securely in a drawer she never used.
"Now," Bellatrix said as she sent the envelope flying onto Hermione's desk, "Come here."
Hermione smiled as she obeyed, settling on Bellatrix's hips and leaning down to tease her neck with her teeth. Bellatrix sighed into her neck, gripping Hermione's hair tightly. She trailed her other hand along Hermione's spine, deciding on a whim to banish the young witch's robes. Her nails abruptly met flesh, dragging downward and leaving red trails in their wake. Hermione arched into her, biting down to purple the skin of Bellatrix's neck. The dark witch whispered encouragement and directions as needed, guiding Hermione steadily lower, banishing her clothes. Hermione groaned as Bellatrix pressed against her fully, pressing her forehead against her and taking measured breaths in an attempt to control herself.
"Don't think too much," Bellatrix whispered, sliding her fingers underneath Hermione's chin and tilting her head up. "You don't have to pretend with me."
Hermione's nails dug into Bellatrix's arms as she fought to listen. She wanted to let go, to stop thinking all the time. She was afraid. She was afraid the wrong person would discover Bellatrix and they would be separated. She was afraid Draco and Ginny would find out. She was afraid Bellatrix wouldn't want to teach her anymore. She was afraid of having to live without Bellatrix. Hermione was afraid that if she let go now, she would never be able to put her mask back on.
"Hermione," Bellatrix said softly, freeing one of her arms and placing her hand on the witch's cheek, "You can trust me with it all. You're mine, no matter what. I've claimed you. I've marked you. You will never belong to another, even when we die. You're safe with me."
The young witch looked at her with eyes full of emotion, the most Bellatrix had seen from her. She smiled softly at Hermione, stroking her cheek lovingly. She could feel her own chest fill with emotion and she did her best to ignore it. She knew how she felt about Hermione, she didn't need the reminder. Hermione's grip loosened slightly, and Bellatrix cupped Hermione's face gently.
"It's okay to be afraid, just don't let it control you. You're in charge, Hermione," Bellatrix assured her.
Hermione took a deep breath, focusing on Bellatrix's unwavering eyes. She felt so much at once, she wasn't sure what to do or how to express it. Hermione was at a loss, and she could only think of one thing to do. She leaned down, her lips brushing against Bellatrix's. Bellatrix sensed her hesitation and waited for Hermione to decide. Hermione pressed their lips together softly, slowly, and she couldn't help the flutter of her heart when Bellatrix kissed her back in the same way. Bellatrix tangled her hands in Hermione's hair, letting the younger witch control the kiss. She had never felt this way during a kiss, never relinquished control to the other person. Hermione pulled away, her chest heaving as she caught her breath.
"I love you," she blurted out, her cheeks reddening.
Bellatrix was stunned at the sudden confession, quickly pulling herself together to respond, "I know. I love you, too."
Hermione laughed with relief, dropping her head onto Bellatrix's shoulder and managing to say, "I wasn't sure. I was so scared."
"You're mine, Hermione. Never forget that," Bellatrix mumbled into Hermione's hair.
Strangely, she didn't feel as vulnerable as she thought she would. She had never cared so much about one person beyond their use to her, aside from her sisters until they had betrayed her. She should have been afraid of the power it gave Hermione, but she had known for a long time how the younger witch felt, and how thoroughly hers she was. Hermione had always been hers.
Ginny and Draco sat at Hermione's desk, eagerly eyeing the envelope awaiting them. They listened dutifully as Hermione explained the conditions of them borrowing the files, nearly vibrating with excited energy. Hermione squashed the fear she felt, trying not to seem apprehensive. Bellatrix's file was safely stored in her room, locked in a drawer of her desk. As long as Narcissa didn't find out, and as long as she didn't tell Draco, and as long as he didn't tell Ginny, everything would be fine. Hermione did her best to reassure herself as she handed the pair the envelope, wishing she had agreed to Bellatrix's company. She knew it would bore the dark witch to death to watch the interaction, and she could always comfort Hermione later. Things hadn't changed between them, thankfully, because Hermione wasn't sure how she would deal with it if they had.
Draco and Ginny hurried to the library, already behind their other classmates' progress because of the time it had taken for Hermione to hear back from Kingsley and get the files to them. They wanted to work as quickly as they could, going through the files and separating them into Order members and Death Eaters. From there, they each took a pile, Ginny choosing the Death Eaters, leaving Draco with the Order members. They poured over the records in silence, taking turns searching for Transfiguration books and books on Animagi. By the time they were kicked out of the library, they had a thorough understanding of the different meanings behind an Animagus form and a comprehensive list of each side. They still needed to do a bit more reading and compare the two to see what the differences were.