Gratsu Weekend 2020
Prompt: Absence
Pairing(s): Gray x Natsu, Natsu & Erza
February 7, 2021
Natsu was a mess. There was no other way to describe it. He'd taken the first part of his GED test the previous day, and even though he'd been told he might receive his results as soon as three hours after the exam ended, no such thing had happened.
Although Gray had reminded him time and time again that he should do his best to relax, that even if he failed it was no big deal, Natsu had still spent a good fifteen minutes freaking out at finally finding himself in front of the testing computer. Somehow he'd managed to get through it to answer all the questions as best he could.
At least he'd had work the previous night to keep his mind off it, but now nothing was preventing him from stressing out about his results. It was around noon when his phone finally notified him of a new email, and he saw that it was from the testing service.
With a shaking hand, he opened the app and read the email, his mind not really comprehending what it said. Natsu read the email for a second and even a third time to make sure there was no mistake. That he couldn't possibly be reading it wrong. He was still having trouble believing what he'd read, so he looked for his sister, who was in the kitchen baking cookies with the kids.
"Erza, can you tell me what this email says?" Natsu handed her the phone and looked at her shyly.
His sister gazed at him in puzzlement before looking down at the screen. She read the email and put the phone down carefully before squealing loudly. Grabbing his hands in hers, she jumped up and down pulling him along with her just like she used to when they were little. "You did it, you passed!"
"I really passed?"
Erza nodded, somehow transitioning from mid-jump straight into a hug, "I'm so proud of you!" She ruffled his hair roughly, and while it would typically annoy him, this time, it only made him laugh.
"Daddy, you did it!" Hana cried excitedly, jumping into his arms for a hug, while Atlas contented himself with pulling on his pants until he picked him up with one arm, holding both kids against him. He grinned at them, kissing them before putting them down to continue their baking with Erza.
He walked over to the shrine they had made for Lisanna and lit the candle they had bought with her favorite scent, lavender vanilla.
He knelt down and looked at her picture, feeling the familiar hurt at not being able to see her again.
"Can you believe it, Lis? A dummy like me somehow managed to pass the first test," Natsu chuckled, "Math no less. I had help, though. Remember Gray, my friend I told you about? He helped me study for it, wouldn't let me give up. I still have to pass three more tests before I can get the certificate, but this is sort of already more than I thought I'd be able to do. Things are starting to look up for me, but uhm, I still miss you, we all do."
Natsu smiled at the picture sadly before blowing out the candle. He wanted to tell Gray about his score, but after all the work they had put in, he wanted to tell him in person. This was his victory too!
"Erza?"
"Yes, I know, you want to go tell Gray," Erza responded, "Go ahead, thank him for me too!"
"Thanks!" Natsu called out, hurrying out the door before the kids asked to come along. He drove to Magnolia Bean and bought an iced coffee since, for some reason, that's what Gray drank all year long and headed to Lyon's apartment.
He parked in one of the visitor's spots and entered the building, or fort as he liked to call it. It had ample security, and Natsu submitted to the usual metal detector, and pat-down search as the guards rang Lyon's apartment to see if he would be allowed upstairs. There were cameras everywhere and armed guards doing rounds with dogs. He'd heard from Gray that they had a room where they checked all incoming mail for signs of tampering or chemicals. He knew Lyon and Gray felt safe there, but to Natsu, it kind of felt more like a prison.
He was escorted to the apartment, and Gray was already waiting for him outside the elevator. They waved at the guard, and Natsu handed Gray his coffee as they entered the apartment.
"Why does Lyon live here again?"
"He was threatened at gunpoint by the ex-husband of one of his clients," Gray deadpanned.
"For real?!"
Gray nodded, leading him past the living room where Aki was watching cartoons with Lyon and into his bedroom. Natsu noticed that there were several half-packed suitcases open on the bed.
"Did you get your email yet?" Gray asked, and from the way he was studying him, Natsu could tell that he was trying to guess the results from his behavior. He was tempted to act as though he'd failed, but he was too stoked to pull it off.
Instead, he pulled his phone out and showed him the email. He could see Gray's lips move as he read it and grinned when he saw the pride settle into his features.
"You did amazing!" Gray exclaimed, shaking him lightly by the shoulders, "If you had gotten a few more points, you would have been able to get some college credit!"
"We did amazing, there's no way in hell I could have done it without you hounding me," Natsu laughed, "I actually feel like we could nail this!"
Gray's smile withered, and he sat on the edge of his bed, "Listen, there's something I've meant to tell you for a few weeks, but I wanted to wait until after you'd taken the test."
Natsu could feel a sense of dread growing within him. Nothing good could come from that statement.
"I, uhm, I won't be able to study with you for a few months," Gray spoke in a soft voice, "I have to go back to Crocus for a while."
"But why?" Natsu felt like pleading with him, the thought of not seeing Gray for months affecting him in ways he hadn't expected.
"Well, Siegrain, that's my ex, is claiming that I kidnapped Aki and am keeping him from seeing his son. The court there is demanding I return to answer those charges as well as show evidence that he abused Aki."
"I'm sorry, did you say he abused Aki?" There was rage working its way through his veins, but Natsu tried to hide it, now that Gray was finally trusting him he didn't want to ruin it by overreacting, but the idea that anyone would lay a hand to Aki was enough to make him see red.
Gray nodded, "It was one of the many reasons why I left."
"What about you?"
He could see Gray startle at his words and realized too late they had come out in a deep growl.
"You know what? Why don't we go for a walk?" Gray offered, and Natsu found himself agreeing quickly. He didn't care where they went, he just wanted to learn what had happened and who to point his rage at.
Gray walked out of his room, and Natsu followed, trying to understand the intensity of his feelings.
"Natsu and I are going for a walk, call me if anything comes up," Gray announced to Lyon, and although Aki looked up briefly, he seemed perfectly happy to just snuggle up with Lyon and continue watching television.
That simple act fed into Natsu's anger even more. Aki had made so much progress since Natsu had met them, and he knew that would change as soon as he was moved from his home, for Lyon's house was very much his home, as much a source of comfort for the boy as Lyon himself.
He could still remember how distraught and lost Atlas and Hana had been when they had made the move from Edolas to Magnolia. The nightmares, the nights spent sleeping in his room because they were afraid if they didn't, he too would be gone when they woke up.
He didn't want Aki to have to go through something like that just to feed some asshole's ego. And God forbid he attempted to touch Aki again, Natsu wasn't sure he could be held responsible for his actions then.
They had already walked out the front door when Natsu realized that Gray had once again not taken his coat, even though the February weather demanded it. Not only that, the idiot was still drinking his iced coffee.
Natsu's chuckle remained lodged in his throat as he realized that he wouldn't be seeing his friend for a while, only to be replaced by a sense of loss he was somewhat familiar with. Someone he cared about was leaving him again. He tried to fight it, reminding himself that wasn't what was happening this time. Gray had no choice, if judges were calling for him, then he had to go or be arrested, but he still couldn't fight the urge to try to stop him, or to follow him, anything to keep him near.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Natsu looked up to find Gray staring at him with a furrowed brow. He swallowed down his thoughts and attempted a shaky smile. "Yeah, just can't get over the idea of someone purposefully hurting a child."
Gray stared at him intently but soon shrugged, seemingly accepting his response at face value. As they walked outside, Natsu saw it had begun to snow, soft flurries that tickled when they landed on his exposed skin. Gray's eyes immediately lit up, and Natsu had to smile as he watched his friend stick his tongue out to try to catch a snowflake.
He looks so beautiful like that, so peaceful, I wish he always looked like that…
Natsu was surprised by the thought, but he filed it away for later, wanting to once again focus on whatever it was Gray hadn't felt comfortable sharing in the apartment.
"I love it when the weather is like this," Gray commented, pulling on Natsu's arm and nudging him to follow until they reached a playground he'd never noticed before.
"You're going to catch your death, you idiot," Natsu scolded fondly, although from what he could tell, Gray didn't look cold at all.
"Nah, a little cold never hurt anyone," Gray disagreed before dusting off a bench and sitting down.
Natsu debated whether he should do the same or not, knowing he had trouble sitting still when he was calm, let alone when he was agitated. And he was agitated, even from the little he had already heard.
"Sit down," Gray demanded, "This is hard enough without watching you fly off the handle."
Natsu grunted his displeasure but did as he was asked.
"In answer to your question, no, he never hit me. Although I have a feeling, it had more to do with not being able to hide his tracks than anything else. My body was always being photographed, so it would have been evident to others. With me, the abuse was more emotional, which is a lot harder to prove in court.
Natsu could feel Gray's hands on his, and before he knew what was happening, his friend was trying to loosen his fists, which Natsu had yet to realize were clenched tightly next to him.
"I'm fine now," Gray assured him, "I've been going to therapy for months, and it's helping. I used to think everything that went wrong in our relationship was my fault, that I'd done something to make him not love me. But I realize now, that's not what happened at all. That's just what he wanted me to believe so that he could keep me under his control. Even Aki was a means to an end for him."
"Aki? I don't understand," Natsu was confused by everything Gray was telling him. Keeping people under your control, hurting them emotionally? What did any of those things have to do with love?
Gray sighed, "I caught him cheating on me. It was as bad as any awkward movie scene you've ever seen. I walked in to find him balls deep in some other guy. He swore it was the first time, but I had been hearing rumors for years, I just-"
Natsu's arms moved of their own volition, wrapping themselves around his friend in an embrace. It seriously felt like his body was working on automatic pilot as his mind raced to understand what his friend had been through, even as his own emotions flared just outside of his control. He could feel Gray's body tense at his gesture before relaxing into it.
It was all so alien to him. If he were in love with Gray, he would never in a million years treat him like that. The idea of being unfaithful to someone he loved made him feel sick to his stomach. Natsu held Gray until he pushed against him. He let go, but the urge to protect him didn't leave him.
"I guess I was just stubborn or conditioned or whatever but I was determined to make it work, we were married after all, and I sort of grew up thinking that's what you did. So when he dangled the idea of having a child with me, I held on, and for a while, it was better. We interviewed surrogates, spent more time together, but once Aki was born, I guess it wasn't what he had expected, you know? You remember how it is in the beginning, the crying, the constant need for attention…"
Natsu nodded, remembering those times quite well, and quite fondly.
"I loved it, loved Aki from the second I saw him in the sonogram, but Siegrain wasn't the same. When Aki was born, he held him once and then handed him over to me. And that's how it was from then on. I had to make sure to keep him quiet, his crying gave Siegrain horrendous migraines."
Gray rolled his eyes at Natsu, and they both laughed.
"I'd wanted to believe things were better, but they weren't, I was still working, and that plus taking care of Aki cut into the time I had to spend with him, and he started disappearing again. This time I knew what he was doing, but even then, I just couldn't break it off. It was only when he started messing with Aki that I recognized I had no choice but to leave. I knew he'd never let me go willingly, so I got in touch with Lyon, and he walked me through how to get away and offered me to stay with him."
"Do you - are you still in love with him?" Natsu asked.
Gray's laugh was bitter, "Hell, no! I've actually begun to question if I ever was. All of this is just a big manipulation play by him. Siegrain never loved me. What he loved was the lifestyle I provided him. That's what he wants back, not me."
Natsu gaped at him, "Gods, I am so sorry, I didn't realize you were dealing with all this."
"Of course you didn't, I didn't want you to. Everyone around me walks on eggshells, worried about whether I might break. But you, you were in my face from the day we met, and I loved it. You, more than anyone else, make me feel normal. You've helped me want to get back to a regular life, which is something that Lyon and Rogue had been nagging me about for months."
"That night at the bar, when you asked me to dance with you, it's hard to explain, but you sort of showed me what real healthy love was like. Even though you were pretending I was someone else, you showed me more attention than my asshole of a husband ever did. That's actually when I decided to go get therapy. I wanted to work on myself and maybe get to a point where I was worthy of a love like you had with Lisanna."
"You always have been, you dumbass," Natsu thwapped him on the head, "I'm sure the next relationship you'll be in will be better.
Gray nodded weakly but kept his eyes fixed to the ground. A silence grew between them and before it could turn awkward Natsu broke it, "How long will you be gone?"
"I don't really know. I figured if I'm stuck there, I might as well finish out some contracts I walked out on. I hired a friend as a temporary manager, and he's sorting all that out for me."
"You're going back to modeling? But what about your school?" Natsu hated the way he sounded so needy as his stupid fear of being abandoned took over once again.
"I might take a few gigs while I'm there, I definitely need the money, and unlike Siegrain I know Hibiki won't try to take it from me."
"He was your manager?!" Natsu blurted in disbelief.
"He made it sound so reasonable at the time," Gray confessed, and Natsu winced at how beaten he sounded.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that."
"No, you're right. I made a lot of decisions I'm not particularly proud of, it's another reason I hadn't wanted to tell you anything."
"Meh, you're still doing dumb things, and I haven't gone anywhere."
"True," Gray snorted, "Hey, can I ask you something?"
Natsu nodded absently, running everything he'd learned in the last few minutes through his head.
"Why are you so upset I'm leaving, is it just because of the test?"
Natsu shook his head, remaining quiet as he decided how much of his past he wanted to share with his friend, considering how much Gray had just shared of himself.
"The short version?" Natsu asked and when Gray nodded he began to count off on his fingers," My mom died when I was eight, my dad abandoned us when I turned nine, then Gildarts came along and got us a new home before disappearing as well. Erza left home to go to college, and Lisanna ran away to Edolas. I got her back, but then she left me again," Natsu couldn't help the sadness that engulfed him. "It just feels like everyone I care about leaves me at some point."
There was a glint in Gray's eyes that he didn't understand, but it didn't seem like pity at least. "Well, I'm touched that you've placed me in such company, but unfortunately for you, I am definitely coming back, so don't go replacing me just yet."
Natsu just stared at the ground, and Gray moved until he was kneeling in front of him, "Hey, dumbass, I mean it. If I come back to find you're baking Sting cakes, I'll never forgive you."
Natsu couldn't help but snort at that, and once he started, Gray joined in.
They sat together for a while, watching the snowflakes whirling down from the sky in silence. The question that had been floating around in Natsu's head finally came out, because as much as he hated to think about it, he wanted to know.
"So... when will you be leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning, we're taking the first train out," Gray responded, cradling his head in his hands. It wasn't hard to see he was dreading the whole thing, "I have no idea how Aki is going to do with this. I'm not sure he even remembers Siegrain, he hasn't seen him since before last April, and you know how he is with strangers."
Natsu sighed, feeling terrible on Gray and Aki's behalf. Aki wasn't even three years old yet, and he had already been through so much, things that would break the heart of any loving parent.
"Hey!" Gray barked suddenly, "Don't think this lets you off the hook, you better keep studying, I'm going to call and check on you."
Natsu gave him a grateful smile, "Okay, but I might wait until you get back to tackle science."
"Sounds like a plan," Gray took his hand and squeezed it tightly. "I have to go finish packing, you coming?"
Natsu shook his head, "I should get back."
They studied each other awkwardly before Gray pulled him into a bear hug muttering, "I really am proud of you. We'll celebrate when I get back."
They said their goodbyes, and then Natsu watched Gray walk away from him, wondering why it felt like his heart was stuck in his throat. He shook his head and walked to his car, deciding on a whim to make a quick stop.
0-0
Gray and Lyon had been about to board the train when they heard their names being yelled out somewhere behind them. They turned to see Natsu running towards them, a widely grinning Atlas sitting on his shoulders haphazardly, in a way that made Gray seriously worry for his safety.
He looked down at his watch to see that they still had about twenty minutes before the train was scheduled to leave the station, but it wouldn't have mattered because Aki had already seen Atlas and was waving excitedly.
"Don't take too long," Lyon stated before grabbing their stuff and entering the train to save them some seats.
Gray muttered something in agreement, wondering what Natsu was doing there, considering they had already said their goodbyes the day before.
"Hey, thanks for waiting!" Natsu exclaimed in breathy pants. He set Atlas down only to have Aki grab hold of him, both boys chattering in a way that only they understood, and that made Gray's heart ache, knowing how much Aki was going to miss his friend.
Natsu grabbed two items from his pockets. They were two boxes decorated with the name of Cana's store.
"What are those?" he asked curiously.
"I went to Cana's shop after we talked, I couldn't stop thinking about Aki and I just- don't laugh, okay?" Natsu looked embarrassed, but all he was managing was to endear himself to Gray even more. "I had Cana make a protection bracelet for him, so even if I can't really help him from here, at least I'll feel like a part of me is with him. She tried to make it look like yours, so he'd like it."
"Natsu, that's - I don't even know what to say! Why don't you give it to him?" He called Aki over and picked him up in his arms. "Uncle Natsu got you a present."
"Pwesent?" Aki asked, eyes brightening up at the word, he peered at Natsu expectantly.
Natsu handed him one of the boxes, and Aki opened it, looking at the contents, "Like Dada!" he cried out, bouncing in Gray's arms. Natsu took the bracelet out of the box and put it on Aki's wrist, adjusting it for size. The little boy smiled widely and tried to say thank you.
Atlas remembered his present and shoved a picture Hana had helped him draw of him and Aki at the little boy, who seemed equally excited by it as he did by the bracelet. The station's loudspeaker came on, urging all passengers headed to Crocus to get on the train.
"I have to go," Gray apologized, eyeing the other box.
"Oh, right," Natsu shoved the box at him, much like his son had done earlier. "I got this for you, it's a protection necklace. But you know, if your ex pulls anything, call me, and I'll get on the next train and kick his ass."
"That's sweet of you to offer, but I'm a Taekwondo Master with about eight years of repressed anger fueling me. Trust me when I tell you, if he tries to touch Aki or me in any way, you won't be the one he has to worry about."
Natsu laughed heartily, "Glad to hear it, well uhm, I guess this is really goodbye."
"I'll be back," Gray promised as he waved to them one last time, reinforcing his words from the previous day. The last thing he saw before boarding with Aki was Natsu trying to quiet Atlas' tears.
I promise
He found Lyon, and after making sure Aki was settled, he opened the box to find a necklace with a sword pendant. The pendant had a stone embedded in it, and as he read the description of all the stone's qualities on a piece of paper, he noticed there was writing on the back too.
He recognized Cana's scrawl on the note that read, Don't screw this one up!
Gray laughed. No, he wouldn't, not if he could help it. He tried to enjoy the train ride as much as possible, thinking ahead to his return rather than what awaited him on arrival.
0-0
Natsu stared at his GED book with distaste. It had been about three weeks since Gray had left, and even though he knew he'd promised to continue on his own, he just wasn't getting anywhere. Every time he looked at the damn thing, all he felt was this deep sense of loneliness.
There were no mocking insults when he got something wrong or grudging praise when he figured something out on his own. No coffee from Magnolia Bean or treats bought just for him. Even though Gray could be an insufferable jerk, always making him work his ass off before he was allowed to eat them, Natsu had always felt pride at being able to earn them.
When Gray left, Natsu had thought he wouldn't have time to miss him too much, but he'd been wrong. Gray was both everywhere and nowhere all at once. Ads featuring him began popping up on the sides of buses, billboards, and pretty much anywhere he looked. The first week he'd managed to call a few times, giving updates on what was happening and letting Aki talk to Atlas, but the last call had been over two weeks ago, and Natsu found himself yearning to hear his voice.
Rogue had tried to warn him that Gray had been in high demand, and once he got going, it was going to be hard to get in touch with him. That there had been times, he'd wanted to scream at Gray's voicemail, which had been the only way he'd get to hear his brother's voice, especially when he rarely got a callback. But Natsu had wanted to believe that wouldn't happen.
Apparently, he'd been overly optimistic. He'd tried calling a few times already, only to be faced with that very same voicemail and no return call. He hated feeling so needy, but somehow Gray had wormed himself into his life, and he hadn't even realized it.
Studying together twice a week, playing with the kids, Dad's Clubs meeting, showing up at Crime Sorciere with Lyon, and more recently doing things together just the two of them in the mornings after dropping the kids off at daycare but before his shift at Crime Sorciere began. It had gotten to the point where he saw the guy more often than not, and to go from that to nothing was difficult for him.
In some ways, it reminded him of how he'd felt when Lisanna had suddenly disappeared before he'd tracked her down to Edolas. Through it all, he could feel Erza watching him, although he wasn't sure just what it was she was waiting for.
Lyon finally returned from Crocus and gave him a rundown of what was happening. The kidnapping charges had been dropped, but Gray and Aki would have to remain in Crocus for the time being. The visitations hadn't gone well and were on hold for now. When Gray wasn't working, he was attending depositions with Siegrain's sleazy lawyer Deliora. Aki wasn't doing too well with all the changes, and Gray was worried. Rogue was going to be going up to Crocus with the twins to try to help.
Gray was swamped with work. Apparently, he'd walked out on more contracts than he'd initially remembered, but he was doing alright. Now that he was back, a lot of campaigns that had been held back were being released, which is why his face seemed to be everywhere.
Natsu was grateful for the update, but it only aroused an even bigger need in him to see his friend, to listen to him and be there for him. Once again, he was reminded of his time without Lisanna, and little things began to connect in his mind.
It all came to a head when the dreams began. At first, they were innocent. He and Gray taking the kids to the playground like they'd done countless times. Sitting on a bench and talking while the kids ran around. It was a sweet dream, it comforted him, making him feel like he was with his friend at least for a little while, and Gray looked so relaxed. It always made him smile.
Then the dream began to change. They were still at the park, the kids were again running around, but now Natsu was bringing Gray's hand up to his lips and kissing it, while Gray responded with a lazy smile. That was a little more confusing for him, but he liked that smile. It made him feel warm all over, so he tried not to overthink why he would be kissing Gray's hand in the first place.
The day soon came where he was confronted with the image of Gray in bed with a woman, eyes fierce and a seductive expression on his face, his body only barely covered by the sheets. It was an ad for some perfume, and Natsu had never hated anything as much in his life as he hated that ad. Hated the way it made him feel to see Gray like that but also hated that he couldn't get it out of his mind.
It made no sense, it was just a stupid ad, it wasn't even real, so then why did he feel like Gray had somehow betrayed him. Like all the air had been taken from his lungs. His mind instantly went back to his dream, the one where he had kissed Gray's hand, and suddenly he found he really couldn't breathe.
He got home from work, thankful that it was a Tuesday night, and he didn't have a night shift at Fairy Tail. He outright refused to go to the Dad's Club meeting, and although he could see Erza wanted to fight him over it, she remained quiet. His mood only got worse when after putting the kids to bed, she asked if he'd seen Gray's new ad. Her tone had been breezy, but her eyes watched for his reaction, probing him, and he suddenly understood why.
She had known, had seen right through him for months, but instead of talking to him about it, she'd let him figure it out for himself. He wasn't sure whether he felt grateful or angry. Right now, all he felt was confused and guilty. Lisanna hadn't even been dead a year, how could he even be having thoughts like this?
"Whatever you're thinking, it's wrong," he seethed, moving over to Lisanna's shrine and kneeling in front of it after lighting the candle, but it didn't feel right. For the first time since she had died, it felt like he was clinging to her to hide, and it made him angry with himself. She deserved better than that from him.
"Natsu," He felt her hands on his shoulders, "It's okay."
"No! It's not," to his great embarrassment, he began to cry, and he heard Erza sigh.
"Come on, we should talk about this somewhere else," she blew out the candle and tugged at his arm, trying to get him to stand up. At first, he fought her off, not wanting to discuss anything about what he was feeling, but he gave in eventually, knowing she'd have no problem dragging him to wherever she wanted. She really was scary sometimes.
She sat him down in their breakfast nook, going into the kitchen and soon returning with some hot cocoa and a box of cookies. He tried to get himself together while she was gone, but he couldn't seem to stop sniffling.
She sat down across from him, handing him a tissue from the box they kept in there. "This was going to happen eventually."
"But it hasn't even been a year!" Natsu protested, "It's not right, it's not fair to-"
"To whom? To her? Natsu, she's gone. Do you really think she would want you to mope around forever? To give up your whole life to her as some sort of tribute? Lisanna wasn't like that, and you know it."
"I don't even know what this is," Natsu groaned, "I've never, ugh!"
"Had feelings for a guy before?" Erza guessed, giving him a small smile when he reluctantly nodded, "Yeah, that'll throw you for a loop the first time. I felt the same the first time I found a girl attractive."
"I don't find guys attractive though or women really," he puzzled, "I don't look at people like that, I don't understand, I only ever felt like this with Lis."
"When Dad left, you refused to give up on him, remember?" Erza swept his hair out of his eyes, just like she used to do when he was younger. "You claimed he was coming right back, and you'd fight anyone who said any different, including Gildarts. You held on to that belief for years.'
She looked at him seriously, "But he never came back, and that messed us both up. Even though we were lucky enough to find a new home, I don't think either of us really trusted that the same thing wouldn't happen again. Lisanna managed to get past your defenses though, she got you to see her, and you fell in love. And now Gray has done the same thing.
"You're only twenty-six years old, Natsu. Your life is just beginning," Erza's gaze was kind but stern, "You're going to be grieving your loss for years to come, and that's only natural, but there's nothing that says that you can't also try to move forward and find love with someone else."
"This is all so confusing, I can't handle this," Natsu murmured, feeling the tears flow once again.
"I know, sweetheart," Erza rose from her seat and pulled his chair out, enveloping him in an embrace and letting him cry.
"But you know, you've already let him in," Erza let go of him, smiling at his confused expression.
"What are you talking about?"
"The moment you baked him that cake for his birthday, whether you realized it or not, you were acknowledging him as yours. That's when I knew for sure that you had feelings for him, I've just been waiting for you to catch up," Erza's eyes twinkled with mirth, "You always were slow."
Natsu frowned at her remark, deciding to let it go considering there were more pressing issues demanding his attention. "What do I even do? I don't think I'm ready for anything, and what if he doesn't feel the same? And what about the kids, what if they hate me?"
"They're little, they'll be happy if you are. You've done everything in your power to keep Lisanna with them, certainly more than Dad ever did for us, and I don't see that changing. And they both like Gray and Aki quite a lot."
Natsu started to say it wasn't the same thing when Erza interrupted him, "Just talk to him and be honest. I have a feeling he would appreciate taking things slow given his own situation."
"You really think he feels the same?"
"Natsu," Erza made sure she held his gaze before declaring assuredly, "I know he does."
Natsu thought that statement was scarier than his own nascent feelings.
"I need to think about this," Natsu hedged, still not wholly convinced that he should do anything.
"Of course you do, it's a lot to take in," Erza acknowledged, her eyes never leaving him, "Admitting how you feel is only the first step, and you have plenty of time to figure it out. All I'm asking is that you don't dismiss the possibility out of fear or guilt. You deserve to be happy too, you know."
Did he? Did he deserve to move on? When Lisanna couldn't? For the first time since Gray had left, he welcomed his absence, needing time and space to figure all this out before they saw each other again. But as he drifted off that night, he couldn't help but hope that he would see Gray in his dreams and that there at least, they could maybe move forward.