After the argument with Peter, Stephen wished he could go somewhere quiet and lonely to be for himself for a while, but he couldn't. He had to check if Mordo did the job he had given him in the Sanctum Sanctorum.

So, for the time being, he shoved his dark thoughts into the back of his mind.

When he was convinced that Mordo would honor his end of their agreement, Stephen returned to Kamar-Taj.

-–-

He felt horrible. Right now, there was no other way to put it: he messed up big time.

What would Tony have done in his place?

Stephen was convinced that the engineer would have handled the situation with more sensitivity.

How did Tony always know the right thing to say when it came to Peter?

Crushed under all the insecurities he tried so hard to hide, and the feeling of guilt, the sorcerer trotted to the common room to rest. Just as his thoughts got more and more desperate, a friendly voice behind him asked, "You're back already? How did it go?"

In the corner of the room by the fireplace, sat May Parker in a wicker chair, with a book in hand, beaming at him. When she saw his face, she frowned. "What happened? Where's Peter?"

Stephen slumped into the sofa next to her. Curtly, he summarized what had happened in the meeting and afterward, staring at his hands the whole time.

"Why don't you want him with you on this mission?"

He looked up. "Because it is very, very likely that we won't come back. We survived the first confrontation with Thanos only because Tony threw us into another universe!"

"Have you ever considered..." she paused. "I mean this boy – he has lost enough parents for three lifetimes – first his biological parents, then his uncle, ...his aunt and one of his adoptive fathers. You are the only one he has left. Maybe leaving him behind and blindly sacrificing your life 'for the greater good' is not in his best interest."

"But I have to go."

"Why? What do you owe this universe? I mean, don't get me wrong, I appreciate that you are prepared to die in the attempt to bring my nephew back, but this universe is not your business. You just got here by accident."

"Yes, but it's my fault we can't go home. So, if Pete has to live in this universe, it's my obligation to at least make it a good one."

"Have you ever talked to him about that? How you feel?" One look at him told her all she needed to know. "Of course not." She rolled her eyes. "Men!"

"It just didn't come up. We didn't have the time..."

"Oh, that's B.S.! Stop lying to yourself. Again, I know I'm repeating myself here, but you don't owe us anything! However, you have an obligation to this boy, who has already lost so many loved ones! It is your responsibility to care for him, to feed and clothe and love him. You must help him to grow up and become a well-adjusted and healthy adult. That is what you have to do."

"I don't think I'm the right person for that. I... I can't do this on my own. With Tony at my side, all that seemed so easy." He wiped away a tear. "But the prospect that I have to go on all on my own without him is so damn daunting."

She bent over towards him and put her hand on his.

"Believe me; I know how you feel. This feeling, it will never fully go away, but I promise you it'll get easier with time."

Gently, she stroked his cheek and brushed another tear away.

"And you're not alone. You have Peter. He's a pretty great kid."

"But I'm not who he wants."

"What do you mean?"

He ran his hand over his face. "The problem is – I am not Tony Stark."

"I wouldn't see that as a problem. On the contrary: In my book that is a good thing."

He rolled his eyes.

"No, really, there is nothing wrong with not being Tony Stark."

"But I will never have this connection to Peter that Tony had."

"Of course not! You are a different person. You have different connections. There's nothing wrong with that either!"

"It seems so easy for the two of them. They have so much in common, share so many interests... and I... Sometimes I fear that I'll never be part of that. That I'll always be an outsider."

"You have to tell him that, or it will always stand between you!"

"He doesn't talk to me... and he's right. I'm not his father."

"That hurt the most, huh?"

Stephen nodded silently.

"But you are. I mean, who else is left?"

He glared at her.

"Don't worry about Peter. He adores you! Also, he's never been one to hold a grudge, you know. That's just not in his nature."

"Look how I let him down! I have no idea how to bring us home, and here we have no place to live, I have no income whatsoever – in no way am I able to give him what the son of Tony Stark is used to."

"First of all, he's not a Stark, he is a Parker and as such he's used to much less than you might think. It wasn't always easy for me to keep our heads above water. You, on the other hand, have exceptional abilities. You'll find a job."

"I already have a full-time job, but surprisingly, protecting our reality doesn't pay very well."

"I thought you're some fancy neurosurgeon. There should be the possibility to work as a consultant somewhere."

"And which name shall I use? When we succeed and bring back the Stephen Strange from this universe, who will I be? Who will Peter be?"

"I don't know, but how about we cross that bridge when we come to it? Why waste our energy on problems that may never come to pass?"

A snuffle behind them startled the two.

They turned their heads. "Peter!"

Just a few feet away from them stood Peter with tears streaming down his face. "I didn't know." He wiped his face with the sleeve of his novice robe.

"How much did you hear?" Stephen asked shocked.

"I think pretty much everything you said." He nervously shuffled his feet on the floor. "Listen, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You are my dad. I just said that to hurt you. I was so angry." Apologetic, he looked at Stephen. "But you are my dad. Sometimes even more than Tony, because you are the grown-up one. Yes, it's easier to talk to him and joke with him, but every time I have real problems I can count on you. You take things serious and don't make stupid jokes in such moments."

Stephen didn't know how to respond to the first part of Peter's statement, so he did what had become second nature for him: defend Tony. "It's not his fault. That's just a defense mechanism of him. He makes jokes when things overwhelm him."

"I know that, but sometimes his stupid jokes make things. Just. So. Much. Worse. If he means it or not."

"I know."

A long and awkward silence followed this. None of the two knew how to bridge the gap between them.

May shook her head and pointed beside Stephen on the sofa. "Come, Pete, sit down with us."

He nodded and did how he was told.

"Please take me with you when you go. Don't leave me here alone. You're the only one I have left," begged the teen silently after a while.

"What if we die out there?"

"Then we die together. I know you want to protect me, but this is my decision, too. Please give me that. I am not a child anymore. I have powers! I can be useful!"

He sounded so desperate that it broke Stephen's heart. Gently, he took the boy into his arms and hugged him. "I swear, I won't leave you behind. But you have to promise me if it gets dangerous out there, you'll do as I say, no arguments."

"I promise." He buried his face in Stephen's chest and started crying in earnest. It was like a dam was finally broken, and all the pain he had kept back for the last days poured out of him.

Stephen held him and rubbed soothing circles onto his back.

"He really is gone, isn't he?" Peter asked after a while.

Stephen was taken aback by the abrupt change of subject. He pushed Peter a bit away so that he could look him in the eyes, but didn't let go of him. "You mean Tony?"

"Yes. He won't come back, right?"

"No, I'm afraid, he won't come back."

"And the other one... he's not him."

"You have talked to him? The other Tony?"

Peter nodded slowly.

"It's not his fault, but no, he's not our Tony."

"Everything is so confusing! I can't even really grieve for him because there is this other Tony and it feels like he is still there somehow, but he isn't. He's dead."

Stephen could see how much Peter struggled to articulate this complicated mix of feelings.

"It was so much easier when May died." He looked apologetic to her. "I don't mean easy – it was horrible – but it was clear-cut, like someone slices your arm off – it hurts like hell and perhaps you die from the loss of blood, but at least you know why! There were a body and a funeral and a grave I could visit. But this…" He broke into tears again. "There is this other guy who looks like him and talks like him. He even has his memories, but the most important part is missing."

"The part that loves us," Stephen added.

As Peter nodded, the tears trickled from his nose and chin. Stephen conjured a tissue and handed it to him, which the teen took and blew his nose. Afterward, he leaned his head against the doctor's shoulder.

"Hey, at least we have each other..." Stephen mumbled.

"Yeah, that's good," Peter answered in a low voice.

"When I was young and pictured how my life would pan out, I would never have thought that I'll have a family one day." Stephen mused silently. "I was so full of myself, there just was no room for anyone else, least of all children. Thought I'd die alone – a small price to pay for being the best at what I did. Then the accident happened and life as I knew it was over. It took some time, but a wise woman taught me one of the most important lessons of my life: That it's not always about me. So, I decided to devote the rest of my life to a higher goal, chose solitude to serve the greater good. Until life decided to throw me another curveball and this time it wore an Iron Man armor. Suddenly, before I even realized what was going on, I had a family... and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you as much as I loved Tony."

"I didn't know that. You never told me..."

"I know, sorry. Talking about feelings is not always easy for me, but I give you my word that I'll work on it. All this being-a-parent-thing is still pretty new for me."

"I forgive you."

Stephen pulled Peter closer and gently stroked his trembling hand over the boy's back.

Eventually, Peter calmed down. Exhausted, but content they sat by the fire, with Peter's head leaned on Stephen's shoulder and Stephen's arm around his back. Now that they had finally put their feelings into words, the silence between them wasn't as awkward as before. After a while, the boy fell asleep. It looked very uncomfortable, but it was so much like him to fall asleep in the most ill-fitting places. The doctor smiled down at his son and stroked his back gently.

"You knew he was standing there the whole time, right?" Stephen asked May.

"Of course."

"Then why didn't you stop me from talking?"

"You needed to say it, and he needed to hear it," she answered with a wise little smile. "You're welcome."

Stephen rested his cheek on the crown of Peter's head. "Thank you."