Author's note – GUYS! OVER 100 reviews and we're not even 10 chapters in. That is amazing and you're all superstars! Thank you so so much for your AWESOME reviews last chapter. I thrilled to see it made you feel something considering what went down.
This chapter is a bit slower paced, but worth it I think so please enjoy and as always please review!
"YOU MADE OUT WITH ANGEL?!" Ellie practically yelled as her and Ana were in the backroom getting more cases of beer. The blonde bartender could tell the minute Ana stepped into the bar something big had happened, but she was not expecting this.
"Okay if you could dial it down a few notches that'd be fucking great," Ana replied sarcastically, doing a doubletake outside to make sure no one heard Ellie's outburst. Luckily for her, the bar was almost completely empty on account of it being 3pm on a Wednesday.
She had spent most of her morning dodging calls from Angel and trying to get ready for work. But she found every time she looked in the mirror she felt like the rendezvous from this morning was all over her face. She knew she was being crazy, but she couldn't shake her guilt and she thought it was clear for everyone to see.
She was just thankful that when she did get home this morning Mark was already at work. She called him and told him she'd meet him home after her shift tonight and talk about everything – she didn't know what exactly she was going to say, but she knew she had to tell him about kissing Angel. What that meant for their relationship? Ana had no idea.
Laughing, Ellie simply shrugged as she walked out of the backroom ahead of the brunette. "I'm sorry girl, but seriously this is BIG okay? That biker has got to be one of the hottest men in Santo Padre and he is like putty in your hands."
Glaring back at her, Ana placed the beers on the bar before leaning on them. "I'm sorry have you forgotten that I have a boyfriend?"
"Well, first of all I haven't met him so… yeah? And second, I've seen you and Angel interact and it is unlike anything I've ever seen before. Your guys' chemistry is clear for everyone to see so honestly I can't imagine whatever you have with this lawyer dude is more intense than the sexual tension between you and biker boy," Ellie explained as she loaded the beers under the bar.
Groaning, Ana started helping her in an attempt to distract herself but she knew Ellie was right. If she was being honest, whatever she was feeling for Angel was proving to be impossible to ignore, and really, she didn't want to anymore.
Part of her thought that when she kissed him, it would all go away, like it would prove to her there was nothing there. Instead, it did the exact opposite. But that didn't mean Ana didn't still love Mark. Her first real love, Mark was the first guy she ever gave herself to completely, and she didn't want to lose him but she knew once she told him about Angel she might.
Chuckling, Ellie couldn't help but be amused. "So how was the kiss?" She asked Ana cheekily over her shoulder.
"Ugh…. Honestly?" She said, waiting for Ellie to turn back and dramatically roll her eyes in substitution of a 'yes'.
"Better than I ever thought it could be… seriously it was as if... I found myself thinking 'Why haven't we been doing this all this time?'" Ana admitted as she sat at the bar, unknowingly taking on the role of a customer pouring their heart out to the bartender.
"Well I believe you're the reason for that right? Didn't EZ tell you Angel's been in love with you for god knows how long?" Ellie said, now standing opposite Ana as she leaned against the bar, her head perched on her hand.
"Well yeah… but you know it's not like Angel ever actually told me how he felt you know? Like it's all good and well for EZ to say something but I kind of need to hear it from the horse's mouth. Like I STILL don't know HOW he feels exactly. Does he legitimately want to be with me, or does he just want what he can't have?" Ana blurted out, her face contorted into a mix of worry and frustration as she looked back at the blonde for answers.
Taking a moment before she responded, Ellie knew Ana needed someone to just give it to her straight, and she realised she'd have to be that person.
"Listen Ana. I know we haven't known each other all that long right? But I consider you a real friend, you've helped me get used to this town and I'm so grateful to you. So please don't get mad at what I'm about to say okay?" She paused, waiting for Ana to nod in agreement.
"You need to woman the fuck up okay? All I've heard the past few months is how you don't want to move, how you feel like you've lost who you are and how Mark isn't taking your feelings into account and how you two haven't been good for a while.
NOW you know that Angel feels something for you – what I don't know – but I'm willing to bet it's pretty damn strong, and you clearly want him to. Maybe the reason why you're holding on to Mark is simply because it's comfortable and Angel and his life provide a certain element of danger you're not used to. But you know the way I see it? If you really wanted to be with Mark, whatever this thing is with Angel, it wouldn't have any effect on your relationship… it certainly wouldn't have made you make the first move and kiss Angel, that's for sure!"
Feeling like she'd just been hit by a truck, Ana sat up a bit straighter in her seat as she played with the edges of her white sleeves, avoiding eye contact. While she didn't want to admit it, she knew Ellie was right.
"Yeah.. no that um, that makes sense… You're probably right." Ana admitted, earning a rolling from eyes as she finally looked up at her fellow bartender. "Now what do I do?" Ana asked.
"Hmph, now you talk to biker boy," Ellie said with a chuckle, looking over at the entrance to the bar. Following her gaze, Ana was confronted with the sight of Angel, dressed in his usual baggy jeans, sleeveless flannel and Mayans cut. Looking directly at her, Angel wasted no time in walking over to the woman who left him high and dry in his house earlier that morning.
Sitting down next to her, Angel's eyes never left Ana's and she found herself struggling to breathe.
"Hey." Angel said shortly as he leaned against the bar, his frustration clear for anyone to see. What else was clear to see was Angel checking Ana out from head to toe. Dressed in a long-sleeve white shirt, black skirt and sheer black tights with heeled biker boots, Angel was almost mad at Ana for an entirely different reason: for looking so good after denying him.
Trying to avoid his gaze, Ana got up from her stool as she started shuffling around, moving her stool in a poor attempt to create some distance between them.
"Hi… so um… we should talk…", she began, placing her hands on her hips in an effort to appear put together. In reality, Ana felt like her heart was racing a thousand miles an hour now that Angel was in front of her. All she could think about was what happened this morning, and how badly she wanted for it to happen again.
Standing there in an awkward silence, Angel and Ana couldn't stop staring at each other. Ana's face was one of childlike embarrassment, while his was one of anger. While he understood why she ran out on him earlier, it didn't make it any easier for him to stomach and he was ready to tell her as much now.
Realising she couldn't avoid the talk any longer, Ana nodded for Angel to follow her to an empty booth in the corner of the bar, leaving Ellie to watch the pair as they left, silently praying they got their shit together.
Sliding into the booth first, Ana watched as Angel sat down after her, still silent and clearly aggravated. Ana didn't know how to start the conversation, or where it would go once she did, so found herself simply staring back at Angel in anticipation. But it soon became clear the biker wasn't going to be the first to speak and she found her own anger rising.
"Okay seriously Angel I have work to do, so if you're just gonna sit here and fucking glare at me then I need you to leave." She said firmly, trying to maintain some sort of control in a battle she had already lost.
"Oh like you left this morning?" Angel retorted snarkily, tilting his head as he looked back at her, his right arm laid out on the table while the other stayed at his side. He looked unfazed despite the tone of his voice and the steely look in his eyes.
Rolling her eyes, Ana crossed her arms as she felt her guard instinctively go up. "Angel I'm sorry… but… what else was I supposed to do?"
"Uhh how about what you actually wanted which we both know involved us with no clothes on my kitchen table," Angel stated bluntly, getting to the point and avoiding any sort of subtlety. He had waited long enough for that moment with Ana and he was damned if he was going to come up short again.
Blushing, Ana found herself both annoyed and turned on by Angel's brazen attitude. Normally, if a man ever spoke to her like that she'd be sending him on his way with a swift slap to the face but somehow with Angel she just wanted to take him up on the offer. 'What the fuck is happening to me?!' Was the only thought currently running through her mind.
"I'm not a cheater Angel…" Ana said softly as she looked back at the man who was slowly worming his way into another part of her heart.
"Fuck Marky Mark," was all Angel had to say in response, his feelings clear on the matter of Ana's current relationship status.
Scoffing, Ana threw her head back in genuine laughter. "Yeah 'Fuck Mark'. Angel I know you don't want to hear this. But no matter what it looks like to you, he's been good to me. I've been with him for 7 years okay? He's taken care of me, he has proven to me there are good guys out there. Way better than the kind of fucking father I grew up with and the kind of people he exposed me too…" Ana paused, suddenly getting choked up. Composing herself she soon continued, "While we haven't had the easiest of times lately… I can't… I can't betray him like that."
Softening slightly, Angel recognised the only way to get through to Ana was to come at her differently. "Alright fine. You couldn't cheat… but what you're not gonna stay with him are you?" He asked, half of him confident at what her answer would be, the other half completely terrified.
Deciding now was the time to lay all her cards out on the table, Ana started trying to find the right words to let Angel know what she needed from him. It was easy for everyone to tell her all Angel needed to hear from her was a 'yes' for her to have him, but she needed more. The man was many things but upfront about his deepest feelings was not one of them.
"I don't… think… listen Angel I haven't. I haven't thought it all through… what I'm going to say or do… or even you know what I, what I want," Ana started to explain, fiddling with the rings on her hands as she looked between them and Angel.
"But I just... I need to know what it is you want… or you know 'feel'. It's one thing for EZ to tell me you've had feelings for me for a while but you know it's another for you to tell me. And contrary to what you might think, all a random makeout session on a kitchen countertop tells me is that you're a great kisser and are physically attracted to me," she said quickly, her cheeks turning red once she looked up at Angel to find him smirking back at her.
Practically giddy now, Angel leaned across the booth to grab Ana's hands in his, calming her. Forcing her to look him in the eyes, Angel gave her the warm smile that charms almost every woman. Normally immune to it, this time Ana found herself filled with butterflies and feeling like she was a teenager again around her high school crush.
"You know for a smart chick you can be clueless sometimes," he chuckled, earning a roll of the eyes from the woman he loved. Clearing his throat, Angel got serious. "Ana… I don't want what I'm about to say to, to scare you off or anything. Which is probably why I've wasted so much time. But… but I'm in love with you," he admitted, his eyes softening to a dreamy look that garnered a soft gasp from Ana.
"I have been since we were kids you know? I know I never showed it… I know was a brat who acted too cool. You know brought around a bunch of girls, paid you no attention, treated you almost the same as my kid brother for a long time… but… you know as we got older and…. And you know you became a woman and got an attitude… I used to think 'huh she could keep up with me'. Hmph…. And then… and then mom died…" at this point Angel found himself choking up.
Clearing his throat and caressing Ana's hands, Angel started again, "And EZ went inside… through all of that you never left me. You stuck by me and pops and you saved me from doing things I wouldn't be able to come back from. And you know I get this thing you got with Mark, I do. He's a straight-laced kind of guy you can depend on, who's not gonna do to you what your dad did and I know after all the bullshit that piece of shit put you through the last thing you ever needed or wanted was to have to deal with the sort of life the MC is… But Ana I would never do that either, I'd treat you like fucking royalty, I'd give you the family you always wanted… and I would never make you feel like I was all you had. I want so much for you, I want you to do all that you've dreamed about because you've fucking spent all hours of the night just telling me what you want to do, who you want to be."
"But Mark? All he wants is for you to pack up and move with him, for the last 5 years you've just done whatever he needed and what has he done for you? He's turned you into some girl who's just cool with following his lead, who's personality has been dimmed and you know what deny it all you want but the only times I think I've ever seen you enjoying yourself and being your snarky, know-it-all, bitchy – which I love, don't get me wrong – self… is when you're not around him… and is when you're around me… I bring out the real Ana. The Ana you are with him, it's just a front."
Angel took a moment to simply look at Ana now. Fighting back tears, her mouth was slightly open in shock at Angel's heartfelt confession. Taking a hand to her face, Angel simply caressed her cheek before running it through her hair, Ana leaning into his assuring touch.
"It has killed me every single day watching you love him… but now? Now that I know things could be different, that WE could be different? I won't sit back and watch any longer Ana," Angel finished, his hand now back down on the table, but Angel now leaning completely forward so that he was only inches away from her.
Clearing her throat, "What do you mean Angel?" She asked shakily, barely a whisper.
"I mean… if you don't pick me Ana… if you don't finally give me a chance, do something crazy and take a fucking leap of faith… if you decide for whatever reason he is what you need. Then I need you out of my life," he said matter-of-factly, but his heart was clearly breaking at the mere thought.
"Wha-what?" Ana asked, fear now emerging on her face at the thought of not being in Angel's life.
"I'm sorry Ana," Angel began, now sitting up straight, removing his intertwined hands from hers. "But I can't anymore. I know it's selfish but I can't be in your life and watch someone love you not enough half as much as I do. So I'm done chasing… now it's time for you to tell me what you want." And with that, Angel stood up from his seat, his long frame now towering over Ana who felt as though she'd now shrunk into the size of a doll.
Leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her lips, Angel whispered a parting line to leave Ana pondering: "I hope I see you soon mi amada."
And with that, the talk biker turned around and walked out of the bar, stealing one last look at the woman he loved, who still sat in the same spot as she tried fighting back the tears as she came to terms with what she just heard, and tried to figure out what to do next.
Author's note – There we go guys! Angel has LAID IT ALL OUT ON THE TABLE (literally and figuratively aha)
Please let me know your thoughts and what you're hoping as well as expecting to see.
There is still so much to explore like Ana making her choice and discovering Mark's involvement in EZ's deal (which will be a HUGE factor).
There's also not much longer to go until we coincide with the show's storyline fully, so be prepared for that too.
As always, I'm going to insert my usual nagging request of reviews. But it seriously does serve as inspiration and motivates me to keep going and producing longer, more in-depth chapters for you. So please work with me here and let me know what you think!
Thanks guys!